⠀⠀11. the 'disease' called love⠀⠀

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THERE WEREN'T MANY things Ranpo loved. Snacks, sugar, and himself—that just about summed the list.

So then why had he begun to prioritise Y/N above all three of those things? It was quite possibly the only question even he, the greatest detective in the world, could not answer.

His serious side was one not many people had witnessed, save for perhaps his coworkers at the Agency. It wasn't like he was heartless, but it was easier to act childish because it got him whatever he wanted. Yet... he'd set that part of him aside today. All for Y/N.

And on top of all that, what in the world had possessed him to kiss her hand?

Ranpo didn't know.

Perhaps he was sick with a disease that made him do all the things he would have previously never considered. The world was filled with all sorts of wild illnesses and disorders that sprouted from nowhere with unheard-of symptoms. It was the only plausible reasoning Ranpo could come up with.

The dark-haired detective walked down the corridor, back to the main office of the Agency. Only Yosano and the Tanizaki siblings were inside, while the rest were out solving their respective cases that they were assigned to for the day. He made his way towards the former of the three, who was working away on the computer in front of her.

"Yosano!" Ranpo called out.

Turning away from the computer, the doctor and faced him and raised her brow in question. "Yes?"

With a straight face containing not even the slightest hint of humour, the detective said, "I think I'm sick."

Yosano's other brow went up too. She was surprised he'd said that because, despite the masses of junk food he consumed, Ranpo rarely ever actually fell sick—even when he did, it was never so bad that he would resorted to coming to her.

She stood up from her seat, heading towards the door while Ranpo followed her, grabbing the bag of chips from his desk as he passed it. He ripped it open and followed silently as she led him down the corridor, but just as she stopped outside the infirmary, he shook his head.

"Y/N is resting," he spoke through a mouthful of chips. Collecting another handful of the potato snacks, he stuffed them into his mouth, chewing for a moment before suggesting that the doctor collect her supplies from inside and they head to the kitchen instead.

Yosano wondered when he'd become so selfless, but she shrugged and agreed nonetheless.

Ranpo waited outside while she quietly opened the door and walked inside, footsteps barely audible even though she was wearing her maroon heels. She came back out a minute later with her stethoscope around her neck, and the pockets of her lab coat filled with medical instruments.

Turning to Ranpo, Yosano dipped her chin down, giving him a single nod. "Let's go."

"Alright. I've checked everything and you seem to be fine. Maybe cut down on the junk food though—"

"No!"

Yosano sighed, wondering why she even bothered. She shook her head. "Anyway, like I said, you seem to be fine. Can you describe your symptoms a little bit more?"

Ranpo placed a finger on his chin as he thought. "Well, at times it feels like my heart is spinning inside my rib cage. Oh, oh! And my face gets really hot, and sometimes, it's hard to think, or I end up doing things that I wouldn't really do." After another moment, he added, "I also feel strangely energetic... a bit like a sugar rush—except I don't get those."

Ignoring Ranpo as he went on and on about how you could never have too much sugar, the doctor turned her focus to the so-called symptoms he had described. She'd never, in her life, heard of any type of disease that had such odd effects.

No... What the dark-haired detective was describing sounded exactly like the feeling of being flustered. Yosano had never thought Ranpo could even be put into the same sentence as that word.

Curiously, she then asked, "Do these symptoms show up randomly, or do you notice a pattern with their appearances?"

Ranpo thought about it for a minute, a light bulb going off in his head as he snapped his fingers. "They show up when I'm around Y/N."

Yosano couldn't believe what she was hearing. Had Ranpo actually managed to develop a liking to something other than food and his ability? Briefly, she wondered what type of person Y/N was to have Ranpo, of all people, fall for her. Judging by the brief interaction they'd had earlier, she seemed like a gentle, kind-hearted soul, despite the obvious misfortunes life had thrown her way.

"Do you know what this means?" Yosano asked him.

"That I'm allergic to her?" Ranpo suggested.

The doctor stared at him, not quite believing that this was the same person who the Director had founded the Armed Detective Agency for.

"How can you possibly be so stupid...?" She trailed off, shaking her head at his cluelessness. "Never mind. I'll just tell you."

Then, her lips pulled into a strange grin—it was the same face she made before she treated her patients, and if Ranpo hadn't known her for as long as he did, he would've definitely been terrified.

"You, my friend," Yosano said, "are helplessly in love with Y/N."

Ranpo blinked once. Twice. And then a third time as well.

"That's... that's hilarious!" He burst into laughter. "Yosano, I never knew you were good at making jokes!"

"Oh?" The doctor stared at his amused state. "I'm being completely serious."

His laughter ceased when she said that.

In love?

He was in love with Y/N?

For the first time in his life, Ranpo was in utter astonishment. He remained silent, unable to figure out what to say.

What did that even mean?

He loved the chips he'd previously been eating too, but could he really associate that same feeling with Y/N? It didn't make sense to him. He wouldn't show another side of himself to his snacks—not that they were animate—so why did he do that with Y/N? Why did his heart race whenever he saw her? Why couldn't he think straight around her?

"Yosano... what is love?" he asked slowly.

"Love?" she repeated, a little taken aback by the question. She hadn't expected Ranpo to ask something like that. Especially not her, of all people.

She considered his question for a moment. What was love?

"Hmm..." she began. "I'm probably not qualified to answer that—most of the men and women I come across run in the opposite direction—but I suppose that when you love someone, you would do anything to see them happy. You admire them for who they are, flaws and all. You give them your unwavering support no matter what they go through—the good, and especially the bad."

She paused, averting her gaze to the window in thought. "But... it's more than that... It's complicated at times. Frustrating too. Love is a feeling—an experience—that can't... It can't wholly be described with words..." She trailed off, shaking her head. "Never mind... that was a horrible explanation. I'm afraid you'll have to go ask someone else."

"No..." Ranpo disagreed, still half in-thought as he mulled over his colleague's words. "I think I get the gist of it now."

Yosano was surprised, but she recovered quickly. "In that case, it'll be alright if I return to my desk, yes? I have to finish this report within an hour."

"I'll leave you to it," Ranpo replied, turning around to leave.

On the way out, he stopped by the fridge on second thoughts and opened it up, reaching for the bottle of chocolate milk that sat beneath the egg rack and exiting the kitchen with the drink in hand.

As she watched his retreating figure, Yosano had a pretty good idea where he was going and couldn't help but smile softly.

Most importantly, love is empathetic and unconditional.


─── ⋅✧⋅ ───

[edited, 15/01/23]


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