Chapter Seven (Lucas' POV)

A/N: OMG, yes. Warning label here for you innocent kiddies. Also, there may be some mistakes; repeated words, mixed up sentences. Why? Because it's late. Why don't I fix them? I'm called lazy for a reason... I might fix it all later, though. Anyway, hope you enjoy, desite the shortness of it!

He hates me.

Ethan Niles hates me. He's going to stop coming over, he won't protect me anymore, he'll abandon me for good this time. He'll tell the jerks at school how little Lucas Patterson kissed him like a pervert while he slept.

"You kissed me." It sounded more like a question than a statement, I noticed as I slowly withdrew, scooting to the other end of the bed, keeping my eyes on the dark sheets. I just nodded as a response, avoiding a gaze I knew was locked on my face. Ethan shifted slowly, sitting up and ruffling his hair before his fingertips brushed his lips.

"You actually kissed me? Like, I'm not dreaming, right? I'd ask you to pinch me, but yea." He muttered.

"Sorry." I responded dully, letting my eyes finally drift to Ethan's face and I was surprised to see him turning bright pink, his hand falling away from his mouth.

"I should be totally disgusted," Ethan drawled, making me wince inwardly, "I mean, you're a guy. A younger guy. And I was sleeping, which just makes it creepy. Or at least it should." I looked at him questioningly.

What did he mean by should? He kept saying should. Did that mean he was slightly interested? Was I even interested? After all, I mostly did it out of curiosity, an experiment. But what was supposed to be my result? Falling head over heels with Ethan? Hating him eternally- which I probably doubt, but what else could it be?

"Do you like me?" I asked at last, looking back up at Ethan, who blinked at my question, then grimaced.

"I think so... I mean, the only other person I've been like this around was Nick."

"So you liked Nick?"

"Not... Not completely like that. He's a guy."

"So you don't like me."

"I never said I didn't! I said I think so," Ethan corrected sharply, "I just... Don't know for sure. Maybe if you kissed me again, we might get somewhere."

Oh, please. That sounded like a pervert trying to get me to get in his van where the candies and puppies were waiting. Even so, Ethan didn't look like a creep. In fact, Ethan was rather attractive. A lot of girls at school liked to gossip about how attractive he was, it was just too bad he was always in trouble with the law. That didn't bother me as much as it probably bothered Ethan.

"We don't have to," Ethan said suddenly, getting off the bed, "I feel like a creep now. I should just go. Uhm, glad everything worked out with your parents and whatever." I frowned and reached out, grabbing his hand.

We both froze at the action.

I don't think either of us expected me to do that.

Ethan's hand was warm and calloused, his fingers long and practically engulfing mine. I slowly ran my fingers along his. Before we realized it, he was sitting on my bed in front of me, our hands pressed together like some cheesy romance scene. His fingers were at least a centimeter or three longer than mine, his palm thicker and rougher.

"I feel like I'm in Tarzan." Ethan blurted. I gave him a weird look that made him blush.

"You haven't seen it? Oh, forget it... Your hands are small." He mumbled. I nodded slowly, studying his hand and we were both sort of leaning in closer to look at the size difference. At least, that's what I was doing. Ethan was leaning closer to my face, tilting his head and his lips decended on mine.

I didn't kiss him back at first.

Sure, I initiated the kiss last time, but that was because I thought he was asleep and I knew he couldn't do much as a response. Now, he was kissing me and he could deepen it if he wanted. That partially scared me, partially thrilled me. Should I kiss back?

His lips were like smooth chocolate, molding with mine to create the perfect treat. His tongue was like liquid as it parted my lips, dancing with mine in an eternal sway of lust and love. Should I kiss him in return? Would he leave me or would he stay? Would he accept me or would he deny me? What should I do, God? I love this man so much.

I must be one cheesy sap to have the last paragraph of my book in my head. I hadn't even continued to see if they did end up together. It had begun to creep me out because the main character was far too similiar, her situation way too familiar. And yet, now I hated myself for not finishing it.

Finish it yourself. A voice in my head murmured.

Ethan's tongue suddenly brushed my lips. The feel of the moist, smooth muscle touching my lips sent chills coursing through me so sharply, I gasped and pulled away from him. Ethan suddenly looked ashamed, his cheeks burning as he started to slide off the bed.

"Shit. That wasn't supposed to happen. I'm gonna leave-"

"Sit down!" My voice was louder than I had intended. It made Ethan stop in his tracks, staring at me in disbelief before he slowly sat on the bed. I took a deep breath, then inched closer to him, reaching up to brush my fingertips over his lips for a second, barely touching them before I dropped my hand.

"Try again." I said slowly and quietly. Ethan blinked.

"Seriously?" He asked. I nodded. Ethan hesitated this time, then slowly leaned in to kiss me again. I felt scorched when his lips pressed against mine, moving gently to coax me. I didn't know how to kiss, I realized with embarrassment. I'd never kissed anyone in my life. I kissed Ethan before because he wasn't awake to critisize me for being arrogant. Now, he was awake and he'd laugh at me if I didn't do it right.

Why did I care so much?

I carefully and quickly pushed back on his lips and I felt his hand come around to the back of my head, caressing my hair and luring me to his lips again. I didn't feel threatened by the gesture, surprisingly. Instead, I scooted closer so our chests were touching, my leg between his as I just barely kept myself elevated on my knees.

"You're really cute." Ethan murmured against my lips, his dark eyes watching mine. I blinked once, twice, slowly. I had to make sure this was real. And, cute? What kind of guy calls another guy cute?

"Uhn... Thanks." I heard myself answer uncertainly. Ethan smirked faintly, his thumb brushing my temple and making a strange sound come from my throat. It reminded me of a cat purring. Humans could purr? I could purr?

"You looked confused." Ethan laughed quietly. I felt heat stain my cheeks as I reached up to brush his hand away, but he took my hand in his, holding it gently. I looked away from him.

Maybe this was a bad idea. I had no idea what we were doing. We didn't even know if we liked each other as much as we thought we did. Maybe it was the spur of the moment sort of thing?

"Do you want me to stop?" Ethan asked in a low voice. It'd grown huskier and it sent goose bumps flying over my skin. The truth of this situation scared me because... I didn't want him to stop. I wanted him to touch me. His skin was rough, but smooth at the same time. His breath was so hot against my skin, so soothing.

Instead of answering, I shut my eyes tightly, leaning up and kissing him on the lips again quickly. I heard Ethan laugh a little, his lips trembling against mine before I felt his hands on either side of my face. I let him kiss me, his tongue invading my mouth fully this time. I just jerked back a little at the feel of his moist tongue against mine before I relaxed.

I couldn't believe it. I was actually doing it.

I was actually doing something with Ethan.

And I loved it. It wasn't just the feeling, although, that was a good portion of it. He touched me places, over my clothes of course, that I didn't know would make me jump. I made sounds I didn't know I could make.

And the best part was that I could only imagine doing this with Ethan.

Ethan lowered his hands to my waist, pulling me up until I was sitting in his lap. Once upon a time, this would've sent me into a spiraling pit of hysteria. Now, I couldn't think of any better place to be. I'd never felt this happy before.

Ever.

I felt special. Like Ethan only wanted me. He could only ever want me. For once, I didn't feel disgusting or broken or used. I felt perfect. I really felt like I was a whole person again and it was such a light-headed and warm feeling. It actually sent a bolt of excitement through me as Ethan's tongue danced around mine. I had my mouth open by now and I was trying to suppress the noises from my throat, but it was no use anymore.

I just let all my moans pour out freely as Ethan slid one of his hands up my shirt, his fingertips crawling along my abdomen and splaying out across my chest. He pushed my sweatshirt up a little, hesitating to see if I'd stop him.

I didn't.

He continued and threw my shirt somewhere in the dark abyss that was my room. Everything else around the bed faded away. It was just Ethan and I.

His thumb brushed my nipple and I felt a tingle hit me. I bit my lip, then gasped as he pinched it a little, leaning up to kiss the underside of my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling a whimper seep past my lips as he gently pulled on my nipple.

"That feels weird." I managed. No one had ever touched me there before. It felt so strange, so different. Was it supposed to feel like that? The goose bumps, the chills, the moans.

"Good." Ethan answered softly under my ear, placing a kiss there before his lips brushed down my throat. For a second, I had no idea what he was doing. He was kissing all the way over my shoulder, down my collar bone, to my-

"Ah!" I stunned myself with the loud gasp as Ethan's lips clamped around my nipple. I clenched my fists tightly at his back as his tongue toyed against the tender bud. I tensed my legs on either side of him, crossing my ankles.

"Jeez, you're sensitive." He murmured.

"S'not- Uh! My fault!" I gasped, my body tense and shivering. Ethan laughed against my skin, then pulled my lips to his in another kiss. I relaxed again, unclenching my fists to bury my fingers in his hair. His hair was so soft, I realized, taking a lock between my fingers and rubbing it. I had always heard dark hair was coarse, but Ethan's was almost unnaturally soft.

Totally different compared to his skin, but I didn't care. It was a box of contradictions and I loved it.

Ethan's hands found their way to my jeans and started to unzip. As soon as I heard the sound of it zipping, something clicked in my head.

Oh my God.

What was I doing?

"S-Stop." I managed. Ethan immediately obeyed, looking up into my face with concern. I couldn't even look him in the eye as shame hit me in a wave big enough to drown the whole continent of Africa. I could feel the heat of embarrassment travel to every part of my body, to the tips of my ears to my throat, to my toes, which curled with realization.

I was about to have sex with Ethan.

I was touching Ethan.

Touching him. I was enjoying it. I was going against everything my adoptive parents told me- which suddenly hit me as important. Was it possible to mature within an hour or two? Maybe, maybe not, but it all came to me at once.

I think the horrified look on my face told Ethan enough and he slowly let go of me, backing away and sliding off the bed. He snatched my sweatshirt up as the room came into focus again. I sat there on the bed, feeling utterly ridiculous.

I'm sixteen-years-old.

Sure, I'd had what people might call a difficult life. So what? It just meant no surprises later.

Except sex.

That was a surprise.

I had almost done it, with Ethan.

Not that I don't like Ethan. In fact, I felt like I liked him even more now. I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. I just know I felt ashamed for doing all this, for so many reasons.

My adoptive parents would be horrified.

I wasn't ready for this. I didn't know what I was doing. I don't even know what I had planned to do.

"Here," Ethan placed my sweatshirt on my leg, but I didn't reach for it, "Uh, listen... Can we forget what just happened?"

"Why?" I asked incredulously. Sure, I stopped it, but that didn't mean I hated it or hated him or wanted to forget it. Everything happened for a reason. I learned from this... I think.

"Lucas, I'm nineteen. Last I checked, you weren't of legal age-"

"That's a lie."

"And we don't like each other like that. It was okay, but it would've been weird and we'd both regret it afterwards. I've already done that once before, I'm not doing it again." Ethan responded flatly. I felt stung by what he said.

He sounded so sure of himself. Would he really regret doing it with me? And why did he have to remind me I wasn't his first? Of course I knew that. I just didn't want to be reminded. He was my first. Or, well, he would've been if we'd gotten that far...

But he was right. I was already feeling a tiny bit of regret, but it wasn't because I didn't like Ethan. It was for a jumble of stupid reasons. Ugh, and I thought Ethan was a bunch of contradictions.

"Ethan-"

"So anyway," Ethan cut me off, making me go silent again, "Uh, I'll see you at school Monday, then. If you still want me to watch Carter and those jerks, that is. If you don't want to be around me, fine, whatever."

"I never said-"

"Bye." Ethan was snatching his jacket up off the nearby chair and was out of the room before I could even start up another sentence.

I'd finally started to talk to him and now he didn't want to listen to me?

I finally let him touch me, but I stupidly pushed him away just because I was feeling insecure.

I grabbed my sweatshirt up and buried my face in it, gritting my teeth.

Lucas Patterson. You are such a major loser.