chapter fifty
florence thompson
song: sometimes - chelsea cutler

I wanted to turn and run exactly then, more than I had when we'd walked into the room. He looked more handsome than I remembered him, and I wondered momentarily if he'd been struggling as much as myself, at that I nearly laughed.

Of course he hadn't been, he understood our relation much more than I ever did. He knew the lines he could comfortably cross without becoming attached to me, or anyone for that reason, he'd been doing it for awhile now. He never got feelings mixed and muddled like I had, letting the lines blur together.

I'm sure he had been just fine.

I zoned out as Julia continued on, my gaze locked on Vincent as a feeling of complete unwelcomeness washed over me. To see them here together, like I had been with him at that charity event, was a hard slap in the face. Not even as an insult, just a huge reality call.

All this time I had been able to push the image aside because I'd never seen it in person other than when he visited her at that charity event, but this was different. This was where he seemed so at ease as he gleamed up at her, he seemed happy.

I couldn't blame him.

She probably didn't show up unannounced, and even if she did, I bet she at least showed up to have sex with him. Something I could've never given Vincent.

I sighed, and just as I went to tear my gaze away after everyone erupted into cheers after Julia's speech, Vincent's mismatched gaze floated through the sea of people and much to my displeasure, landed on me.

Not only on me, but me holding the hand of Sebastian Vanderbilt.

His expression switched in a matter of moments from passive, easy, happy even, to something much more complex and confusing. Something with an underlying tone of annoyance and anger.

The feeling that had drowned me when he'd yelled at me that night seemed to come back tenfold as I tore my eyes away from his, glancing down around the room as I tugged my hand away from Sebastian's, crossing my arms loosely around my midsection.

My heart was thumping so rapidly in my chest, making me feel like I was going to pass out at any second.

"Hey, I'm going to go talk to someone real quick. I'll be right back, will you be okay?" Sebastian's voice pulled my attention over to him where he was looking down to me, a worried expression on his features.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I answered, smiling lightly as I looked up at him, trying to reassure him as best I could.

He nodded, taking off and disappearing into the groups of people completely after a moment. I released a sigh after I lost track of him, hesitantly moving my gaze back over to where Vincent had been but he wasn't there any longer.

Part of me was thankful since the thought of him catching me looking at him was wildly unnerving, and very unwelcome at a time like this.

I dropped my hands in front of me, wringing my hands together nervously. I knew two people here, one of which was unbelievably angry with me, that I absolutely didn't want to face, and the other that had disappeared.

I nearly screamed when a pair of large hands gripped my waist from behind, about to turn around and smack the shit out of the person who happened to have no personal boundaries, when a familiar, smoky voice spoke in my ear.

"Follow me," Vincent whispered into my ear, and just like every other damn time that he told me to do something, or placed his hands anywhere on my body, my brain turned to literal mush and I followed his command.

As I followed behind him while he trailed me through the many groups of people, different individuals patting him lightly on the chest as he passed and wishing him a happy birthday, I wanted to slap myself for following him so easily, but I told myself it was so I could get answers.

He brought me upstairs and down a familiar hallway before pushing open a door to his study, assumably, and closed it behind me. The space was clean, the usual desk sitting in the middle of the room and bookshelves holding books I doubt he'd ever read. He had a similar ceiling to floor window that overlooked Chicago.

"What are you doing here? With him?" He demanded, speaking of Sebastian with such disgust that made me spin around to face him where he was still stood by the door, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Your guess is as good as mine," I muttered, looking away momentarily in hopes to gain back some of my self control.

"What?" He asked, furrowing his thick brows as he watched me closely.

I sighed, glancing to the ceiling before looking back at him.

"Sebastian asked me to accompany him to event, needless to say he didn't tell me what it was. I didn't-,"

"Why would you even say yes to going out with him?" He scoffed, clearly annoyed more so at the fact that I was here with Sebastian than being here at all which was both a relief and yet not at the same time.

I furrowed my brows, taking a step back.

"I'm sorry," I chuckled humorlessly, feeling my annoyance increase tenfold. "I could be wrong, but I'm fairly sure we've concluded that we aren't friends - In fact, I don't think we're anything. I'm pretty sure you made a point to explicitly let me know these things, if I'm remembering correctly."

Vincent's expression immediately switched to something much more fueled by complete rage.

"If I remember correctly, you barged unannounced like you were my girlfriend or something and left me with an annoying amount of damage control to be done," he seethed, all but narrowing his eyes that I'm coming to unlove every passing recent meeting.

"I apologized, Vincent!" I exclaimed loudly, throwing my arms up exasperatedly. "I just wanted to surprise you, do something nice, but I know that I was in the wrong! I'm aware that I shouldn't have showed up and I crossed a line I shouldn't have, I get it! You can yell at me over and over again about the same fucking thing but just know that you will not make me feel any worse than I have made myself feel every day since!"

I could feel a burning sensation at the back of my eyes, I knew it was mostly out of anger since I tended to cry when I was upset of any genre, it's the must frustrating thing because then you feel weak and stupid even though you were mad two seconds ago.

His face fell, softening slightly, and I decided right then that I was going to have no part in what this man was about to say to me.

"Florence," he breathed, looking around my eyes, running a hand through his waywardly hair. "I'm sorr-," He went to reach out to me but I narrowly missed it, stepping away.

The last thing I need is for him to touch me and apologize and me to fall at his feet, right back to where I was two weeks ago.

Fuck. That.

I will pick myself up piece by goddamn piece to make myself whole again, but it will not be at the beck and call of the same goddamn man who broke me to begin with.

I understand that this situation is so wildly complicated. I know on one hand I have no right to be upset as the girl who from the beginning explicitly said I wouldn't get feelings for him, but on the other hand he had been the one to initiate breaking those rules so quickly and blurring the lines. He's the one who kissed me at the motel, the one who kissed me on the couch after telling me I was the closing thing he's found to anything that made him crave commitment, and then he'd held me all night as I talked to my mom on the phone.

He had done his fair share of fucking things up, just like I had, and I wasn't about to sit here and act like it's all my fault so I won't inconvenience him.

But I stared at him in that moment, tears welling painfully in my eyes, I noted what a terrible moment it was to realize that I'd somewhere along the way fallen in love with Vincent De Bellis.

As his eyes stared at me softly and I ached to be wrapped up in his arms, knowing they would soothe my troubles away, I realized I'd let myself slip. I'd been the one to break the rules.

I'd been the one to fall in love with him.

"Don't," I snapped a little harsher than I meant to. "Do not tell me you're sorry. I don't want to hear it, Vincent. Not now, I just don't. I can't." I shook my head, my gaze burning into his.

He sighed, seeming defeated.

"I should go," I muttered, breaking my gaze away from his before I moved to walk past him.

As I got closer to him, he shot his arm out like I had the night we fought in his kitchen, and stopped me.

I glanced from his hand to his face, wordlessly.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I am sorry, Florence," he uttered, looking around my face with a soft expression on his own.

I pulled my lips to the side, softened gaze trained on his mismatched eyes. I offered a weak smile that barely even counted as one, and sighed.

"So am I, Vincent," I breathed before I turned and gripped the door, pulling it open and walking out into the hallway, leaving Vincent De Bellis to stand alone in his study.

I'm sorry I fell in love with you.

• • •

q: favorite live-action Disney film, if u even like them lmao