Roxanne's mind was all over the place. It felt like she'd taken both cocaine and LSD... and had a flu. Everything was strange. Everything was fantastic. Everything was nothing, the world was small, she was big, bigger and tinier than she was as a tiny big girl. She felt like she was being watched the whole bus ride home. It dawned on her that there could really be someone watching her, determining whether or not she posed as a threat.

Roxanne should be afraid.

If not for her words, then perhaps Roxanne would be, like any other reasonable person.

Instead, she held her head up high, holding a bold stride with each step, even in these dark street where secrets, bigger than drugs and hook-ups and everything she would have imagined, operated.

Everything was a blur.

Suddenly, she was opening the door to her apartment, which she noticed was dark. What time is it?

Claire was in the living room, sitting down on the couch, even in slumber. She held the teddy bear tightly to her chest, her eyes shut, her hair a frazzled mess, free from its ponytail.

She didn't look too good.

It felt like someone splashed a bucket of ice water on Roxanne, knowing that Claire had been waiting for her all night.

Roxanne wanted her to get a much-needed sleep, but... a sitting position wasn't exactly an ideal sleeping position, especially hunched forward like that.

She took off her boots and socks, taking a moment to enjoy her free feet, no longer shackled and weighted down by such monstrousness - be free, my faithful companions! - before taking off her jacket.

She stood there for a couple of moments, staring at her phone, a half-smile forming on her lips which must've looked weird.

Roxanne's footsteps were featherlight as she approached Claire.

She nudged Claire by the shoulder, eyes widening when Claire let out a very reactive reaction; jolting up as though she'd been stung.

It caused her hand to stand on its ground, afraid that everything it touched would burn and disintegrate.

Once Claire realized it was just Roxanne, she tried to apologize in her sleepy dazed state, to which Roxanne waved off.

"I don't want to talk to you right now."

"But-"

"We can talk in the morning, Claire. Now go back to bed."

Roxanne stared right at those widening eyes, hoping her gaze was steely and stoic.

Claire's face fell before it became understanding and withdrawn. She pushed herself off of the sofa, giving a smile Roxanne without a second thought. Roxanne pursed her lips, unable to return the gesture.

Claire, looking away, said, "I'll leave you alone. Promise."

Roxanne relented with a sigh, because despite it all, she wasn't dumb enough not to believe Claire cared about her.

Her eyebrow rose when Claire, pulling her up, grunted in what sounded like pain.

"Where have you been?" Roxanne tried to hide her worry through a tone of anger. And it seemed to work because Claire jerked and looked away, clenching her jaw, her body leaning away as though it carried a disease.

"I was out on, um, important stuff. You know that."

Clearly, Claire fucking Brooks was the picture of bloody damn innocence.

"Just- fuck, I don't want to deal with this right now," she said, striving to be rational as she ran a hair through her head. "I'll... We'll be okay in the morning."

"But are you going to forgive me?"

Roxanne had no answer. She gave a dismissive shrug, furthering Claire's look of pain. She locked herself in her room, messy with papers empty bags of snacks and clothes she ought to put to laundry at some point.

She leaned against the doorframe, taped to all kinds of movie posters, some of which she wasn't a big fan of, all of her energy draining away from her, like leaking water.

Claire, the ultimate flaker. Roxanne couldn't afford to think about her, not after the experience she'd gone through.

She sat on her desk, shoving aside a bunch of research papers even though, in hindsight, it wasn't a good idea.

Flashes of that magical night electrified her. Her fingers moved on their own, creating a satisfying rhythmic tap-tap-tapping sound that never seemed to stop.

Roxanne let herself get lost in this familiar, welcomed daze. It was the best kind of daze, the highest kind of high. Words kept pouring. It felt like she'd been holding a damn with her own two hands this entire time, and now was finally time to release that damn.

The phone rang once. She ignored it even as it poked at her needily with its ringing.

It stopped, and her shoulders slumped in relief, even when her eyes never left the white digital page filled with - at this point - thousands of words.

It rang again and she, in a flash, clicked on the power button.

It rang again. She pressed the power button again. And again and again and again.

Roxanne lost focus on the sixth ring. With a loud "dammit!", she clawed at her phone, not bothering to see who the caller was. "It's late."

Granted, she didn't know how late it was, but she was sure it was hella late.

"O-oh, I'm sorry. Were you asleep?"

The voice was scratchy, rough, deep, and strangest of all, familiar.

"... Connor?"

There was a shaky sigh from the other line. "Look, I don't really know why I'm calling you. It's just- I had a lot to think about what I said and I'm- fuck, kid, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I just- there's just-" his voice turned into a groan. "Just... fuck."

He was many things. Inarticulate wasn't one of them. Roxanne had learnt what the word 'snarky' meant from him. He and his quips, she used to jot them down just to reread them and get a chuckle or two.

"Are you okay?" she asked, even when she knew the answer.

She looked at the black sky which the thin curtains of her room tried to hide. There was always something magical about the time where everyone was asleep. It always brought out a sense of... something not seen in the daylight.

Roxanne had seen it in herself, the way she hadn't had a second thought, plunging a knife into a person. And maybe she'd seen it in the angel itself, with words she wasn't sure was meant to be heard. Words that she'd never forget.

Roxanne had a strong feeling she was about to witness the same now.

"Honestly, Rox. With all the shit I've seen, how can I be okay? Look, I know we don't hang out as often as we did before, but... that's not why I called you."

"Then why did you call me?"

"Why are you like this?" He sounded genuinely hurt and shocked. It woke her up. "I mean, shit, I can just call you back when you actually want to talk to me."

"No, no." She gulped, looking at her laptop for a moment and, after a moment of hesitation, closing it. "What's up?" Her casual tone didn't sound all that casual; it was an octave too high and it wavered. She hoped that if he noticed, he wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

"Rox... I can't stress this enough, but... Stay out of this. I know you're trying to do good, but... please, please for once in your life, don't be a nosey brat. It'll get you killed. It almost got me killed."

Rick. Connor. Whoever he was. He was calling her. Even this late, he still thought of her. He cared.

The tone was more urgent and frantic and honest, the choice of words less delicate and poetic.

But in her ears, it was all too familiar.

Don't jump into the rabbit hole.

Fear the darkness.

They're always watching.

She'd heard his words, hours ago, pouring out of someone else's mouth. Someone who kept secrets since they first breathed and would likely keep those secrets for as long as they kept breathing. Someone who was strong. Someone who was in the hands of people far stronger than them, in ways that mattered.

"Dude..."

"Look, you probably need some shut-eye. You probably got, like, a french test tomorrow, right?"

"I'm not in high school anymore."

"Yeah, yeah. Look, it's been so long since I last saw your punk ass-"

"Like, around two days ago."

"Bothering me at work doesn't count." Roxanne chuckled and shrugged. She berated herself upon realizing that, no, he couldn't see her shrug. "Let's go to, err-"

"A club?!" Roxanne bounced excitedly on her chair, causing this little squeaking sound.

"McDonalds."

Roxanne stopped bouncing in her seat.

Welp.

That was disappointing.

"Fine. You payin'?"

"Of course I am."

"Yay! Free food!"

Her smile widened when he barked a laugh. It was loud, it made her ears bled, and it was real and happy. "Don't let the bedbugs bite and whatever."

Her fingers ghosted on her laptop again. She leaned back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise to order extra meat for the burgers?"

Despite how silly it sounded, Rick still entertained her. "Sure thing, kid."

And that was that.

Roxanne's smile never left her lips. Things weren't so bad. Everyone was just... blowing out of proportions.

Rick was too much like Claire.

It was comforting.

At least now Roxanne knew Rick wouldn't try to mess with her, not like the lots of douches in this world.

It sent a pang of worry in her chest, how he kept warning her over and over again, to never stray, to keep herself balanced and safe.

Rick was too much like Claire.

It was scary.

Roxanne might not be able to help Claire, not with Claire never hinting at what was be wrong, but with Rick... Maybe Roxanne could actually help him.

Roxanne opened her laptop, fingers drumming on the table before she clamped them up and rested them on top of her thighs. Her document was soon to be finished. Just a couple of more words.

But the writing bit wasn't the problem, was it?

It was...

It was getting your writing out there, for everyone to see and judge.

Roxanne gulped, remembering the times where she published her work under Wow News' name, and the lack of times she did it using her own name.

She looked down on her own two hands. They were clammy and shaky. Figures.

Maybe...

Maybe it was finally time...

"Don't worry, Rick. I'll help you."

...

Beta Reader and Editor: FeugoFox42 (From FF.net)

...

That's strange. I thought I'd uploaded this story last night... Umm... Life is strange, I guess.

Aaaaand with that, the first part of this story is complete. I'm currently trying to finish the second part, which currently consists of 15 chapters (I think...). I still need to edit and proofread the entire thing one last time, but I think I'm ready to upload it.

Lemme tell you guys, things are going to get wild.