*Not edited* Not proofread*

Chapter 5– Don't underestimate your abilities:

We pull up at the hospital in Jace's truck at around noon. The air is cold as I step onto the pavement and my lips instantly dry. I wait for Jace to walk around from the drivers side and we head into the building together.

        I hadn't wanted to come, but Jace has a way with words... or more specifically, blackmail. It doesn't surprise me considering his background.

"Be nice and respectful. You need to think of what she's going through right now and have empathy," Jace tells me as we pile into the already-crowded elevator. "Remember what I told you?"

        "To stop putting shards of glass in your bed when you piss me off."

        He rolls his eyes, "No. Well yes, I did tell you that. But that's not what I'm on about."

        "Then it couldn't have been that important because I don't remember," I shrug, watching as the numbers above the doors change with each floor we pass.

        "If you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all," he reminds me. "Lilah is in a vulnerable state right now. So be mindful of that, please."

        I sigh, "Sure, whatever. You don't want me to talk. I'm good with that."

From my peripheral vision I can see he's turned to look at me with what I assume is a frown. "I basically tell you to only say nice things and you come back with saying you just won't talk? How about just try and be nice for once?"

"No, I'm good."

"Kody. Please?"

"I told you," I face him with a glare. "I won't talk. Don't ask me for more than that."

Jace huffs quietly under his breath but doesn't say another word. The elevator doors soon open and I step out, Jace behind me.

We walk to Lilah's room in silence, neither one of us speaking; Jace because he's pissed off and me because I don't want to.

When we get there, her room is free of visitors apart from Mrs. Johansson who sits at her daughters bedside, smiling and chatting away with the recovering redhead. Lilah is the first to spot us as she stops her conversation and looks over to the doorway me and Jace both stand at awkwardly.

"Sorry to interrupt," Jace smiles politely, holding up the flowers in his hand. The bear he bought Lilah rests in the crook of his arm and the box of chocolates are in his other hand, the card stuck to the packaging with cellotape. "We just wanted to drop by and see how you're doing."

I refrain from correcting the 'we' and telling them it was Jace who wanted to stop by. Instead, I stand quietly by Jace's side, watching as Lilah's face brightens up at the sight of us, her bruised but healing face focused on Jace as he speaks. "That's so kind, thank you," she says a little raspy.

Lilah's mom stands, her expression soft as she faces us. "That is very sweet of the both of you," her eyes find mine. "It's great that you stopped by." Although she's addressing me and Jace, I feel like her words are more directed at me, but I brush it off because I don't care for her gratitude. "I'll give you some privacy. I've been meaning to head down to the cafeteria anyway."

She pats Jace's arm as she walks past and smiles kindly at me, aware that I don't like being touched. Jace tells her it's nice to see her and they exchange goodbye's before she leaves.

"Hey, strawberry shortcake, how you doing?" Jace teases as he walks further into the room, coming to a stop at Lilah's bed side where he hands her the bear. "This is Frank, I thought he could keep you company while you're here."

Lilah grabs the stuffed animal with gentle hands, one of them firmly bandaged up. "He's gorgeous," she grins happily. "Thank you. I love him."

Jace grins back, completely ignorant to the fact I'm standing right here. "And we got you some flowers and some chocolates, too. It's pretty cliché, I know, but I didn't know what else to get you," he rubs at his neck, a habit I've seen him do when he's feeling shy. "I hope you like peonies."

"They're my favourite," Lilah reassures, watching as Jace places the flowers on the stand beside her hospital bed. He sets the chocolates down, too, before taking a seat on one of the chairs. "Seriously, thank you so much. You really didn't have to," she blushes.

It's like watching a fucking Disney movie. Painful.

I clear my throat to make myself known, seeing as they both seem to have forgotten I'm actually here in the room with them. Lilah looks past Jace at the sound, and my roommate turns around with a surprised look that he quickly wipes away. "Do you two need a minute, or?"

Lilah giggles while Jace averts his eyes elsewhere. "No. No, of course not. Come on in," she sits up straighter. "I'm glad you're here."

"Through no choice of my own," I mutter, ignoring Jace's warning look. Lilah doesn't seem to mind as she laughs again. For someone who was just brutally assaulted, she seems a little too... fine.

"I expected nothing less. Please sit," she pats the bed with her uninjured hand.

I shake my head. "I'm good." Jace's loud cough draws my attention to him and I find him glaring at me coldly. He jolts his head towards the bed and I sigh. "Actually, I just remembered I got punched in the leg by a dwarf earlier on—."

"What?"

"So I think it's best if I do sit down."

Jace works his jaw in a way that tells me he's annoyed. "Ignore her," he addresses Lilah who looks between us questioningly, his glare gone and a smile in its place. I roll my eyes. He's met her once and now he's obsessed with her? Sounds about right.

For a whole fucking hour I have to sit and listen to Lilah and Jace laugh and joke around with each other. Mrs. Johansson came back half an hour after leaving and now sits in one of the chairs as she watches her daughter with soft eyes as the redhead laughs loudly at almost everything Jace says.

        I can read Jace like a book... a book full of pictures with little to no big words in it. I don't understand emotions well, but Jace is different. I know him. So I know what it means when he looks at Lilah like she's the light of his fucking world. He can't take his fucking eyes off her. He has a soft spot for her, it's obvious. I'm not really surprised, though. Lilah is innocent, full of life and too kind for her own good. Exactly what Jace needs. She's good for him.

        But I can't tell what she thinks of Jace. Sure she's being friendly towards him and they're joking about like they're long-lost friends, but other than that, I can't get a read on what she's feeling. Does she feel the same way he does? Or is she just being friendly?

I shake my head. Either way, it doesn't matter. She has Gray and Jace won't be sticking around for long.

"Are you okay, Kody?" Lilah's mom asks quietly as Lilah and Jace sit on the bed and play a game of cards. "You seem a little tense."

"I'm always tense," I grunt back.

"I never really got the chance to talk to you after everything happened," she ignores my remark. "I'm very grateful for the way you helped Lilah. Dakota told me how amazing you were." I look at the woman questioningly. She's very small. "Don't look so surprised, darling. That boy thinks very highly of you."

Gross.

"Well I couldn't let her die, or I wouldn't have heard the end of it."

Lilah's mom smiles, a look on her face I don't understand, almost like she knows something I don't. "Well whatever the reason, I'm very thankful to you," she pats my hand and it's hard to stop myself from pulling away and punching her. "If you ever need anything, you know where to find me, okay?"

My mouth opens to tell her I'd never need her for anything, but Jace interrupts before I can do so. "Hey, Kody? We should probably get going," he stands, smiling, his anger with me subsided.

"Thank fuck," I get up quickly, more than ready to leave. I'd been ready the moment we were in the elevator coming up.

Jace rolls his eyes at me before facing both Lilah and her mom. "It was lovely to see you Mrs. Johansson. Say hello to Benny and your husband for me."

        "It was lovely to see you, too, darling. And I will pass the message on," Mrs. Johansson smiles back kindly.

        Jace nods, his eyes finding Lilah's as she sits in the bed, her smile weak as she watches us get ready to leave. "And you, strawberry shortcake, get better soon, okay? I'll feel bad if I keep beating you at go-fish while you're physically impaired."

        Snorting, the redhead rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I let you win."

        Jace laughs boyishly. "Sure you did."

They both stare at each other with shit-eating grins until I interrupt them.

        "Can we leave? Because I have things to do."

        "No you don't," Jace says, not tearing his blue-green eyes from Lilah's hazel ones.

        "I do, actually. I have bleach to drink and acid to pour in my eyes."

Jace grits his teeth, "Fine. Lilah, Mrs. Johansson, I'll see you soon," his voice returns to honey as he sends them a short wave.

"Goodbye, Jace. And goodbye, Kody. Thank you both for stopping by," Lilah's move wiggles her fingers in a wave.

"Bye, Jace, thank you again for the gifts," Lilah blushes. "And thank you, Kody. I'll text you later?"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't, but do what you like."

Jace grabs my arm softly, despite the anger I can feel radiating off him. "That's it, we're leaving."

As we're making our way back to the elevator, Jace shakes his head and sighs loudly. "Seriously? What did I say? If you have nothing nice to say—."

"— don't say anything at all. Yeah, I don't have anemia, Jace, I remembered, I just don't care."

"Wha— I— Okay, for starters it's amnesia; anemia is a completely different thing, but we won't get into that. And second of all, you definitely have something wrong with your brain because you called me about thirty different names before actually getting it right."

"Okay," I shrug, not getting into it. My head hurts.

"You're so—."

Jace bumps shoulders with a tall body as they pass each other by. The force knocking him off his balance slightly. "What the hell man?" He hisses, looking back at the person.

I turn around to see whose neck I'd be snapping if they didn't apologise to Jace, my eyes meeting warm blue ones the second I'm facing the culprit.

        "Kody," he says my name in a breathless whisper, his face softer than it was the other night. He has two black eyes, though they aren't too prominent. Hopefully Jace doesn't ask me about that.

        "Don't talk to her," Jace snaps in my defence. "You don't get to fucking talk to her."

        Dakota's eyes drift from me to Jace, and then back to me. "Kodes?" He asks in a pleading tone, ignoring Jace completely. "Can we talk?"

        "About what?" I tilt my head, my eyes scanning his tired face and pale skin. He looks a mess.

        "The other day," he ruffles his hair as he blows out a breath. "I just... I want to talk to you. Please, just give me five minutes."

        My arms fold as I look towards Jace who's standing in a stance similar to mine, staring Dakota down. Feeling my stare on him, he narrows his eyes at Dakota. "I need to consult with my little warrior," he tells him in a voice that is nowhere near friendly. "Don't move."

        Jace moves me over to the side before I can protest it. He looks down at me with a cheesy grin that's hidden from Dakota. "This is so fun. There's so much drama I love it. You need to tell me everything he says."

        I frown in confusion, "What? What happened to 'you don't get to talk to her'?" I mimic.

        Jace waves me off. "Well I had to do that in front of him. I couldn't let him think I was okay with him treating you like that." Typical. "Just go and talk to him. And like I said, tell me everything." He gives me a push before leaving. I watch after him with a scowl.

        "Kody?"

        Just great.

___

        The clock ticks by dauntingly; I watch the thin, almost invisible hand move in a slow stagger. It's been two— now three, four, five, six— seconds since Dakota closed the door to a vacant room. I'm not sure if we're allowed to be in here, but TV shows seem to condone it.

        I choose not to sit because that seems too.... I don't know, but I choose not to sit. Instead I stand by the door so I can make a quick escape if need be. Which is very likely.

        Crossing my arms with a raised eyebrow, I wait for Dakota to speak up. He has four minutes and forty-one —now forty, thirty-nine, thirty-eight, thirty-seven — seconds left before I'm out of here. The time he's wasting doesn't affect me in the slightest, only him.

        "I- I honestly don't know what to say," he begins, rubbing at his shoulder, his hand slowly gliding up the back of his neck awkwardly.

        "So then why the fuck am I here?" I bite back.

        "What I mean is- nevermind," he cuts himself off with a sigh. "Look, Kody, what I said the other day... I had no fucking right. I don't know what the fuck I was saying or even why I said that shit to you. You of all people. I just- Lilah and her family are a big part of my life. I love her like a sister. If something had happened to her..." he trails off, shaking his head like even the thought of it is too much for him to bear. "I took it out on you and you have no idea how fucking sorry I am."

"Touching."

"Kody, please. Be serious," he pleads.

"I don't need your apology, Dakota," I scoff at him. "Do you really think I cared enough about what you said to be offended by it?"

He shakes his head, "You might not need my apology, Kody, but I need your forgiveness. I fucking hate myself for saying that shit to you. It was so fucked up and I'm genuinely sorry. Whether I hurt your feelings or not isn't the point. The point is I done something stupid, and I need to apologise for my actions."

"How noble."

I don't know where my sarcasm comes from, but I assume it has something to do with being around Jace a lot more than usual. I'm having a hard time keeping the comments to myself, they just seem to slip out before I have the chance to stop them.

"I don't want you to be mad at me," he mumbles into the silence of the empty room. "I don't want things to change between us."

I don't know how to deal with this. No one has ever apologised so sincerely to me before. No one has really apologised to me before. I don't need nor want people to apologise anyway.

I roll my eyes and pretend that I'm not internally stumbling on what to say. Why does he do this to me? Does he enjoy it? Sick freak.

"There's nothing there that could change," I shrug. "I despised you before and I despise you now."

Looking at me with his bright blue eyes, he steps forward until he's barely a foot away. My heart thumps loudly against my chest and I unfold my arms, shoving my hands into the back pockets of my jeans. I cautiously watch as his calloused hand reaches forward to grab a thin strand of my long hair and twirl it around his fingers like Jace does when he needs to calm himself down.

"What are you doing?" I ask slowly, making sure he understands the question so he can answer it to the best of his ability.

Dakota shrugs, his eyes trained on the movement of his fingers twirling the ends of my hair around. "Just checking you still hate me."

"And my hair will tell you that?" I drawl unbelievingly, raising an eyebrow despite him not being able to see me.

"No," he shakes his head, tilting it slightly to the side. "Your cheeks tell me that. I just like playing with your hair."

"My cheeks?" I repeat stupidly. Dakota nods. "That doesn't even make sense."

"Not to you it doesn't."

        I choose to ignore him. "Well did you miss the part where I just told you I despise you?"

        He chuckles. I feel like I haven't heard that sound in a while. "Hate and despise have very different definitions in this situation,"

        "Meaning?" I grumble.

        "They're just..." he smiles, like something's so amusing and he can't contain it. Shaking his head, he doesn't bother to finish his sentence. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

        I'm not worrying about it, but it I am curious as to what he means. It doesn't make sense. Did I use the word 'despise' wrong? Has it a different meaning to what I thought?

        Fuck the English fucking language.

"Well, you're five minutes are up, so..." I push him away. It doesn't affect him, I really don't push him that hard, barely any force at all, but he moves back anyway.

"No they're not," he frowns, slight amusement to his expression. "I've still got like, three minutes left."

I shake my head in disagreement. "Every time you annoyed me I deducted twenty seconds."

"And I annoyed you that much?" He queries doubtfully.

"Don't underestimate your abilities," I shoot back.

His lips twitch, his eyes roaming my face slowly like I've witnessed them do a thousand times over. He smiles, not too wide but it's noticeable; soft. With another subtle shake of the head, he chuckles quietly, it's almost inaudible. "I should probably go and see Lilah before the boys get here," he tells me. "I'm glad we could talk. And I swear I'll make it up to you."

I grimace. "I'd rather you didn't."

"I'll see you later, Kody."

I don't bother to offer the same farewell back as I watch him exit the empty room, leaving the door ajar. Even after his departure, the smell of his cologne lingers in the air around me. It's quite a satisfying smell, one that I could get used to. It's strong enough to notice yet still subtle enough that it's not considered overpowering. I can't quite pinpoint what it reminds me of, but it isn't half bad.

        The only thing that doesn't repulse me about him.