*Not edited*Not proofread*

(if you could, please read the A/N at the end)

Chapter 11– Hey, Harlow. I've missed you:

Jace called it an episode, others called it a mental-breakdown, some called it a psychotic break— or so I've read. But I didn't really like to call it anything. I despise labels. However, no matter what way people see it as, what name they come up with for it, it still happened—

And the side effects never really left.

I never really thought I was a normal subject growing up. I was always... different. The odd one out. People picked up on it, too. There was always just something about me that was so unalike everyone else.

So abnormal.

But I also never really thought I was crazy, either.

Not normal, not crazy, but somewhere comfortably in the middle.

And then I was thrust into the real world.

I learned new things every day. I watched with focused curiosity how other humans interacted with each other; how they acted in specific situations; how they dealt with the world around them. I observed their ways of life and picked up on it— a little slowly at first, but I soon started to get the hang of the basics. I studied the movements of those around me and mimicked them. I took note on how they talked, the words and abbreviations they used, and parroted them.

Fascinating creatures, I admit.

I researched humans for months. I studied their brain, the five basic emotions— anger, fear, sadness, joy, and disgust—, and their common daily activities. I read up on religions, different ethnicities, different countries. Everything that was normal, that was natural.

And then I researched what wasn't normal. What was a sin.

As it would turn out, I'm very sinful.

But yet, I still didn't consider myself crazy.

...Until the 'episode'.

I don't recall much about it. Partly because my memory isn't the greatest, but also because during that time, I was pretty fucking out of it. What I do remember, though, is how crazy I felt afterwards. How different I suddenly realised I was.

Just that little more unhinged.

And then the voices started to appear more frequently. I started to feel soft touches on my skin that weren't actually there; a hand gripping my ankle, chains around my wrist, someone's hold around my neck, slight tugging at my hair. Then I started to see things; shadowy figures, out-of-place-people, weird shapes.

And then she started appearing.

The first time, I was around the age of fourteen-fifteen. I was laying in a single bed in a rented apartment in Chicago. It was dark and my windows were open so I could listen to the street-life outside. The breeze blew gently into my room and I breathed in the fresh air as I watched the consistent flashes of light that lit up parts of my ceiling from the headlights of cars that drove by.

I had been particularly tired that night. I hadn't slept in three days and my body felt extremely weak. I remember being so tired that, ironically, I was actually too tired to sleep. I was so exhausted that my body was too sore and drained to relax itself, so I was just waiting to pass out.

But before I could, there was a tug on my ankle that had been above the covers of my bed. I ignored it. And then there was a tickling sensation on the bottom of my foot, almost like someone was running their finger down the centre of it. On reflex, my toes clenched, and I heard a girlish giggle floating around the room. I ignored that, too.

Admittedly, it had peaked my interest, because it sounded so familiar, but I brushed it off.

I remember turning on my side to face the window, the soft light still shinning through, when in the dark corner of the room, where a single armchair was situated, was a small, frail figure with long hair and piercing eyes. I was able to make out the features because of the light reflecting from the floor, but they were shadowed and slightly distorted.

I had bolted upright, my head spinning because of the sudden movements.

        The giggle sounded again.

Her body stood to its full height which was pretty small— one of an eleven-year old human. She soon stepped out of the shadows and made her way towards my bedside on wobbly, unsteady legs. Each step painfully slow and dragged out— like a Zombie's in the film Jace had forced me to watch.

Her ankle had been bent oddly, the angle of it unnatural. Her whole body was bruised and beaten, her hair matted with blood. Water trickled down from her mouth as she sat on my bed with a smile. I moved away from her with caution.

How could a figment of my imagination seem so real?

'Hey, Harlow. I've missed you'.

It was the first thing the figure had ever said to me. The first words spoken. I didn't know it then, but it was the same opening sentence the girl used every time she appeared after that— spoken in the same way, with the same smile.

Even if she showed up in a different state (yet always bruised and bloody) she said the same thing every time.

"Hey, Harlow. I've missed you."

Laying on my bed, staring at her sitting on my windowsill, we remain holding eye contact. The smile is still present as she jumps down to the floor and makes her way to me, plopping herself down at the edge of my bed.

I sit up. "How nice of you to show up."

Her hazel eyes roll. "Please, lose the attitude with me, One. I'm still older than you."

I shake my head, ignoring her retort. "Where have you been? I haven't seen you in months."

She shrugs. "You know it's not up to me."

I stay silent.

"Uh, Kody?" Jace's voice calls to me in question, reminding me he is still outside my door. "Who are you talking to?"

I don't take my eyes off her as she raises a sassy eyebrow, like she always used to. "Kody. That's your name now?" She asks, her tone soft. "It suits you," her cracked, bleeding lips form a smile. "Not better than Harlow, but it suits you. I like it."

        "Kody? Are you on the phone? Who are you talking to?"

        "Yeah, Kody. Who are you talking to?" She parrots Jace, amusement laced within the contours of her features. "Tell him."

        Slowly, my eyes leave her own bloodshot ones and they settle on the locked door. "I'm not talking to anyone."

        "But I can hear—,"

          "Then you're hearing things, Jace!" I snap irritatedly. "Now leave me the fuck alone, you're starting to piss me off."

        "Fucking brat," I hear him mutter before he walks away, giving in to defeat.

"It's a shame I never got to meet him," her soft voice floats in the breeze as she speaks. I scan her gentle smile, not missing the sadness that lingers behind it. "He sounds like he cares for you."

I focus on the view outside my window, though I can only see the sky from the angle I sit at. My shoulders shrug as I avoid giving her a verbal response. She giggles again, the sound slightly hoarse, like there's something stuck in her throat, but still soft in a way.

My chest clenches painfully at the sound, so different yet so familiar. It becomes harder to breathe the longer we sit in silence, so I stand from the bed and head to the window where I lean back against it, folding my arms in front of me. Nine follows my every move with her hazel eyes, scanning me head to toe.

"You look good," she tells me quietly, a grin faintly gracing the lower part of her young face. "Freedom suits you well," she chuckles playfully.

I shrug again. "Wish I could say the same to you. But death doesn't seem to be your colour."

A loud laugh escapes her lips, it's loud and lighthearted, sincere and full of joy. It's not something I should be accustomed to, given the situation Nine and I had been in wasn't a place for happiness, but I am. I'm used to this sound, this sight. It's been a long time since I've seen the real thing, but it's a memory I'll never be able to forget.

        "You've gotten ruder, I see."

I say nothing, leaving my heart to beat harshly in silence as the emotions that Jace claims I don't have fight against one another behind the surface of my glare.

The first time I saw her I had felt.... overjoyed, I assume the word would be. I hadn't ever been happy before that, so the feeling had been confusing, but it was one I quite enjoyed. I had missed her for so long, seeing her sitting there had overwhelmed me. She may have been slightly sinister looking, not something most people would appreciate seeing in the middle of the night in the darkest corner of their room, but I hadn't minded— because I had just been glad I could see her again.

But then she left, and my mood plummeted and life went back to how it used to be.

Empty.

It didn't matter how many times she came back over the years. It didn't matter how long she stayed.

What mattered was that she always left.

So now, I try to tone down my reaction to her presence. I try not to let it affect me as it did years ago. I try to remind myself that she isn't real anymore. She's not here, and she never will be. It's all in my head, in my imagination.

        She's not real.

        "But I wish I was," she frowns regrettably at me, but I shake it away. It's all in my head. It's all in my head. It's all in my head.

        And for the rest of the night, I ignore the small girl in my room as she settles herself down on the floor in the corner closest to my window, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head down. She's not real.

        But I wish she was.

___

Author's Note

Sorry to some of you guys that wanted her to be real, she's just a part of Kody's hallucinations.

Or is she?

Nah, just kidding, she is.

Anyway, this chapters is kinda short, my bad, but it was just a little filler, but still relevant. I hope you enjoyed it nevertheless.

What did you think of Nine and Kody's reaction to her? Let me know (:

And also, if you're reading this, please answer this question I'm about to ask.

Do you feel connected to the characters? Mainly Dakota.

Only because sometimes I read a book where I don't really feel much towards the male MC because they're not shown or spoken about enough, and I feel like I keep leaving Dakota out a little and not including him as much as I should be, so I feel like you guys don't really like him as much.

Please tell me honestly what you think, I will not be offended at all. I'll just start making sure I include him more than I have been.

Also, what are you thinking of the series in general? I feel like this one will have a lot more going on (obviously) but I kind of feel like book 1 was so boring that no one will actually get past that to get to this one, ya feel me?

Anyway, please let me know how you feel about everything in general, and drop some comments about your opinions on Dakota.