A frown stretched across my face once I stepped outside of the car. The airy breeze fanned upon my exposed skin, causing goosebumps to arise.
I scowled to myself- my frustration increasing by the second.
Grasping my bags firmly in my hand, I shut the car door behind me with more force then necessary.

Biting my lip, my eyes searched the surroundings of my new neighborhood. The front gardens of every house were clean and fixed to perfection. It looked to be in a nice area, quiet roads and conveniently close to stores.

Yanking my bags forward, I shifted my body so I could see what my new house looked like.

"H-holy fuck" my voice was merely a breathless whisper as my eyes took in the large two story house in absolute awe.

Not intending to sound ungrateful,
But most of the houses I have stayed in for the past years were small, so you could imagine my surprise to see a huge modern house in front of me.

How the hell did my mother afford this?

The house looked to be out of a barbie movie, it was giving me that Malibu beach house vibes. The house itself reminded me of the beach, it made me feel warm. It was made out of beautiful white stone. Charcoal black balconies were situated towards the top of the house, surrounding huge stunning tinted blue glass windows. The windows looked almost like crystals once the sun light hit them, causing it to glisten. A big garage was under the house and in the drive way, two cars were parked. The front garden grass was cut to perfection, little pink and yellow flowers were scattered across the lawn and huge trees and plants were planted surrounding the house.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" my mothers voice broke me from my trance.

My stomach turned at the sound of her voice. I wasn't at all used to hearing it. I couldn't help but notice how different it sounded- soft and honeyed. This was the first in a long time that I had heard her say a complete sentence, and it terrified me. My stomach twisted in knots as unwanted memories from my childhood began to cloud my vision.

Clearing my throat, I blinked away tears that were threatening to spill. The sound of my mothers heels clacking on the concrete footpath startled me, causing my eyes to shift over to where she was. Her hazel green eyes squinted from the sun, her honey blonde hair falling down to her shoulders as she perused her lips.

I admired my mothers beauty silently. I couldn't help but admit that she was in good shape for her age. She had a petite figure- the only thing I took from her. The rest of my looks, I got from my dad; light brown hair and blue eyes, yet my blue eyes had shades of grey in them. My skin colour was a mixture between my mother and dad. My dad was very tanned where as my mother was fair. I had tanned skin but it wasn't as dark as my dads nor was it near as light as my mothers.

I continued to watch my mother drag her luggage behind her as she walked up to me. 

"Since my work is now permanently transferred here, I figured I would make our new home worth it." She smiled warmly at me.

My mouth went dry as I heard the word permanent. I stared at her in disbelief. Anger began to bubble up inside of me and I knew i was going to explode any minute.

"What do you mean permanent?" My voice was just above a whisper. I couldn't find it in me to speak any louder then that. I was in shock, and I was confused. My eye brows furrowed as I stared at my mother.

You would think that finding out I was going to be staying in a permanent home would make me happy, squealing with joy even. A couple years back I would probably be doing those things, yet in this moment no exact words would be able to describe how angry I was becoming.

"Since my position for my job is permanently transferred in this area, we don't need to move anymore" my mother spoke with such confidence, yet she seemed to be avoiding my eyes. 

I gritted my teeth, my breathing now coming out in ragged breathes.  Inhaling deeply, I attempted to try and suppress my anger.

"what are you saying?" I noticed my mothers face drop, guilt swirling in her eyes.

"We don't have to move anymore" she spoke much softer now, like she was afraid I would snap at her any second.

My eyes narrowed. Gripping my bags even tighter in my hands, I watched as my knuckles bang to turn white. "So you will actually start to speak to me now?" I snapped. My words were harsh but I didn't care. She fucking deserved it.

Images of the past came flooding into my mind, images of her not caring, images of pushing my friends away. Each memory was triggering emotions that I didn't want to feel. I was done with feeling upset and I was done with feeling angry.

"I get that you have a job that requires you to move. I get that you love what you do, that it is a distraction from your life at home without dad, and I get that you are working hard to provide for us. The one thing I don't understand is that having a job does not give you a right to ignore your own daughter! You have treated me like shit for so long! You made me feel as though I didn't even exist to you anymore!" I sucked in a deep breath, wincing at how loud I was yelling but I didn't care. I did not care.

"Watch your language" she whispered as she looked at the ground.

"You do not get to say that shit to me!" I seethed, raising my arms in the air.

"I know how much stress this has put on you and I'm sorry, but You have to understand that I was just hurt. It was a hard time for me when your father had past away and I was just so lost. But maybe staying here is a good thing. You will be starting school tomorrow, this will give you a chance to make new friends and building a better relationship between us" she said, offering me a weak smile.

I took in her words carefully, my heart clenching at the mention of my dad. If he could see us right now, if he could see the women my mother had become, I was more than certain he would be ashamed.

"You think it was just you who missed dad?" My voice broke.

I took a step towards her. "I missed him so much. Instead of telling me it was going to be okay, instead of telling me that we could get through this together. You just left me alone. You left me to deal with dads death on my own. Don't you dare expect my forgiveness anytime soon, and don't you think buying my forgiveness will work either. This may be a nice house which I am extremely grateful for, but your going to have to try a lot harder if you think your going to earn the title of my mom back." I whispered the last couple of words, too tired to yell anymore. I turned away from her just before a salty tear rolled down my cheek.

I walked to the front door, feeling broken and uncertain about the new life my mother has promised to give me.

Making my way inside the house, I ignored my mother calling me to come back, leaving her outside alone.

Letting her endure in the pain that I had been left dealing with for the past years.