What if....Lucas died? (Angst) (continues from chapter Forty two)

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Limp like

That is how Lucas lays.

He lays on a table in the lab, some monitors being hooked to him but the line being all flat. A little foam from his seething being on his chest, his eyes being closed, body still...

Immobile.

Max only just looks dead ahead of her with a complete blank expression. Her eyes are red but not from infection, it is from the tears of the constant sobs she has been suffering through for the past hour since Lucas died, her sobs sending her into uncontrolled breaths to where she could barely breathe, the others having to calm her down most of the time.

Her cheeks are flushed, new tears and dried ones are on her cheeks, her hair being disheveled. Her body is still completely exhausted, her knee shakes on it's own accord.

Everything has gone wrong.

She was certain that it would work, her hopes were high since Dustin and Suzie said that the sample was deteriorating the virus. But she knows she cannot get mad at them, the sample wasn't tested, Lucas and the others infected were the test.

And it failed.

She failed.

She failed him.

She broke her promise to him.

It makes more tears roll down her cheeks from the thought, she should've just let him stayed outside of the city, he should have settled more in the house that he made, she should have just let him had his last days there, him enjoying the soft wind, the stars, the terrain the beautiful view before he went in peace.

Now she ruined that for him.

"MAX!" He yells, looking at her run to the door. "MAX LET ME GO!" He yells. "If you do this! If you break your promise I will HATE YOU! I WILL HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" He cries.

Max begins to cry more, her heart honestly hurting so much, or maybe it is her chest, she really doesn't know. "I'm sorry." Max croaks out, her throat being so dry. "I really am sorry Lucas, I tried, I tried." She sobs. "I wanted...I wanted so badly for you to be alive, I really really don't want for you to be gone." She cries loudly, her sobbing as she puts her forehead on his stomach, her crying out loudly. "I'm sorry. I know you hate me...I broke my promise...I'm sorry...I'm sorry."

Suzie and Dustin stand at the door while watching her, both of them looking back at the others and all of them having sorrowed filled expressions. "The other..." Suzie starts, Max looking over at her with teary eyes. "The others had the same effect. They're..."

"They're gone." Dustin gets out.

Max's bottom lip grows more shaky, Steve going over to her and slowly putting a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it softly. "I failed him." Her shaky voice gets out. "All he wanted was peace and I ruined that for him. He hates me...he died hating me." She cries.

Suzie's eyes grow teary, her going over to the other table across the way that holds all of the lab supplies and tests, her slamming her hands on the table after a minute. "DAMMIT!"

"Suzie—"

"What the hell did I get WRONG?!" Suzie begins to cry, her beginning to frantically look around at all of the different papers.

"Suzie." Dustin starts with teary eyes, his hands going to hers.

"No."

"Suzie—"

"No!"

"Suzie—"

"I have to figure out what I got WRONG!"

"Suzie there's no point." Dustin tells her, taking her hands and making her look at him. "It will only make the feeling worse."

"No they are all dead because of me." Suzie cries. "I made the sample they are all dead because of me!"

"Suzie—"

"Let her go." Nancy breaths a little while Suzie brushes pass him and goes to leave out of the door.

Eleven plops down on the chair, her still holding the ice pack to her head, Mike sitting down with her and her leaning her head on his chest. Jonathan goes over to the other side of Max while Will and Nancy stands with Hopper, Dustin going over to the table.

"You all did everything you could." Hopper mentions. "We'll prepare a special burial place."

Max puts her face in her hands, her screaming out loudly in anger. No one says anything while she does, her loud scream turning into cries. Jonathan and Steve put their hand on her shoulders, because they know that is all that they can do for her right now. There are no words to comfort her right now, they know that nor will they try and say anything right now because they know it wouldn't help.

Dustin looks at a formula a little bit while his elbow is leaned on the table, him slowly bringing his head up from his hand while looking at the paper intensely, his eyes beginning to widen a little bit. "Guys...."

"What Dustin?" Nancy questions while rubbing her face a little.

Dustin looks more at the formula, his eyebrows knitting a little bit. "Wait wait wait wait wait..."

"What?" Max questions, her going to stand up while looking at him. "Dustin what?!"

"This sample is filled with a little of Flecainide." Dustin mentions.

"Speak English Dustin." Eleven says.

"That drugs stops the heart." Dustin says.

"Yeah DUH!" Steve yells.

"Temporarily!" Dustin says back, Max's eyes widening a little. Dustin looks back down at the paper before looking back at Lucas. "I...I think that...."

"WHAT?!" Max booms out.

"It may be deteriorating the virus while he's dead." Dustin says. "While his heart is stopped but...but maybe..."

"Maybe we can bring him back how?!" Max immediately questions.

"Umm...." Dustin looks around a little bit, him going to look around the table.

"What what are you trying to find—"

"GIVE ME A MOMENT!" Dustin yells out, one of his hands going through his hair while the other one searches through the different amounts of samples. "Okay...okay this might work." He says.

"What is that?" Max questions.

"Epinephrine." Dustin answers. "It is the primary drug administered to patients during cardiopulmonary resuscitation also known as CPR." Dustin says, him getting the shot ready. "It's to reverse cardiac arrest but also in the same way...revive the heart. It increases arterial blood pressure and coronary perfusion during CPR so Max after I apply this shot you need to start doing CPR and mouth breaths."

"Okay...okay okay." Max says while nodding, her going to get on top of them.

"Lord please help this to work." Steve says to himself.

"Okay on one..."

"One."

"Two."

"Two."

"Three!"

As soon as Dustin injects the drug in him Max immediately begins to perform CPR on Lucas, her holding her hands the right way since she has done millions of practice classes pertaining to this, her performing mouth breaths on him as well. "Come on Lucas." She breaths, giving him another mouth breath before performing CPR once again. "Come on please!"

Nancy puts a hand over her mouth, Eleven and Mike slowly standing up to look at the scene, all of them looking at the scene intensely.

But the line flat.

Max sobs out, her running her hands through her hair, Dustin dropping the shot with a defeated sigh.

"I thought....I thought...."

The room all grows quiet, Max slowly going to turn her head towards the monitor when it begins to....

Beep.

Beeps begin to come in a rhythm format, Max sobbing out in pure joy, all of their eyes widening and big smiles forming on their faces.

"Holy shit!" Nancy exclaims.

"Oh my god!" Max cries, her going to cradle Lucas cheeks. "You're here, you're here Lucas." She cries.

"Quick get Suzie! We need to quickly perform this on all of the infected! Hurry!" Dustin yells, all of them nodding before they run out of the room.

Max quickly gets off of Lucas, her going over to Dustin and going to hug him tightly. "Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!"

"You're welcome." Dustin says while hugging her back. "Okay I have to go help the others okay? Just stay with him."

"Okay." Max nods while crying, Dustin grabbing all of the samples and more of the drug before he runs out of the room.

Max slumps down in the chair next to the bed, her going to take his hand, looking at the beeps on the monitor, her hand going to his heart and feeling the heartbeat. "You're okay." She nods her head while softly crying. "You're okay." She sobs.

Suzie looks with wide eyes as she busts into the room, Dustin being behind her. "See Suzie? Your cure saved him, it was just a step we were missing."

"Oh my god." Suzie puts a hand over her mouth while looking at the monitor then at Lucas. "Oh Jesus....oh my god.." her voice grows more shaky while her knees honestly give out, Dustin immediately catching her.

"Suzie..." Max stands up while slowly going over to her.

"I thought...I thought I killed them." Suzie cries.

"You didn't." Max says before immediately hugging her. "You did what other doctors couldn't, you found a cure, you and Dustin both, you did it, you saved them."

Suzie sobs out while she hugs Max back tightly, both of them just hugging each other tightly. "Okay I...I have to see with...the others." Suzie gets out in between breaths.

"Go ahead." Max says, her nodding her head.

Suzie nods, her and Dustin going to quickly leave out of the lab.

Max goes back over to the chair, her honestly having to use the edge of the bed to lean on a little bit before sitting down, her body still being completely exhausted from the long trips she has done but she refuses to get any rest or sleep until Lucas is okay.

Until he wakes.

Max takes one of his hands, going to interlock her fingers with his while her other hand is on his heart, feeling his heart beat. Max leans her forehead on his hand, her closing her eyes and letting her tears escape. She doesn't know if it is tears of sadness or tears of joy, maybe it is both she doesn't know but all she knows is that Lucas is here and that he is alive.

She didn't fail him.

That makes Max smile, it makes her laugh wholesomely, wholeheartedly while she nods her head. Now she knows that all that she did, all of the plans that she came up with as soon as she stepped out of the city worked, all of it was completely worth it.

And she doesn't have a single regret.

~

"No! Lucas please no!"

"Help! Help! Please help me!"

"Someone help me!"

"Please! Just END THIS!"

Lucas eyes begin to flutter open a little, his vision being a little blurred but him still seeing himself in his green combat pants and his black boots, him knowing he is in a medical bed from the material of it and how he is lightly reclined a little. He begins to open his eyes more, focusing his eyes on where he is.

The medical bay in the city.

He remembers bits and pieces of things. He remembers the whole journey of the trip when he wasn't unconscious, but when it comes to him being in the glass room he remembers begging Max to let him go, begging the commander, some interactions with Max and the others a little bit, then bits and pieces of other things.

He remembers the feeling.

The feeling he didn't want to ever feel, the feeling of him changing, the feeling of him loosing himself to something that he couldn't control, the feeling of slipping away with absolutely nothing to do about it. It burned, so much hotter than fire but at the same time it burned like frostbite, coke to the touch. His heart honestly felt as if it was about to explode, his chest feeling like a bonfire was inside of it.

He could barely breathe out of his lungs, it seemed like they were tightening up, and it seemed like his vision slowly begin to form red. His senses beginning to start dwindling, the sense of just being...human fading away.

It was hell.

It was torture.

Especially looking at glass and seeing himself change, him having a full blown reflection of himself while it was happening. He was able to see how the veins were slowly beginning to pop out everywhere, how he felt his muscles begin to tighten more, how he just felt a shift inside of him, him able to see it with his own eyes.

"Lucas?"

Lucas slowly looks over to his left, seeing how Max goes to stand up while looking at him, a small little sad smile going on her face, her wiping the tears from her eyes.

Lucas looks down at her neck, then at her arms.

Lucas snarls hard before he lunges at Max, Max's back hitting the ground hard making her grunt, the shot leaving her hand from the hard fall and going across the room. His teeth seethes while his hands go around her throat hard, Max trying to pry his hands free, crying out with his nails dig into her neck and her breath begins to leave her.

"Hey." Max smiles brightly at him, her letting out a little cry while she strokes his cheek a little.

Lucas looks into her eyes before looking back down at her neck, seeing the light red rings around them and the scratches, red scratches being on her arms. "Did I hurt you?" He questions small. "I hurt you didn't I?"

"You didn't hurt me." Max shakes her head. "Okay?"

Lucas looks at her for a minute, him clearing his throat after a minute. "Water."

"Yeah yeah." Max says, her quickly going to grab a canteen and put it to his lips, Lucas going to down all of the water. "How are you feeling?"

"Weak." He responds.

"Okay, okay that may be normal. I'll have Suzie and Dustin run some tests." Max says.

Lucas looks around him a little bit. "How am I here?"

Max goes to sit down slowly, her still holding his hand. "We found a cure Lucas, we found it."

Lucas looks back at her, him looking down at their hands interlocked with each other's. He looks down at the action for a little bit before he pulls his hand away from her, going to lay his arms down on his stomach.

Max swallows a little, she won't lie and say that the action doesn't hurt her because it does, but she doesn't comment on it. She slowly goes to place her shaky hands on her thighs, rubbing them down her thighs a little bit in a nervous manner. "Are you hungry?"

Lucas just closes his eyes while he shakes his head, him going to open his eyes after a minute. He knows the memories of him turning, that feeling is going to forever plague him. Plague him during the day and especially his dreams at night, and he already has to much demons and he didn't want to add on anymore.

But here he is.

"I know you probably hate me right now, because in a way...I broke your promise." Max says. "And yeah I did trick you, yeah I did lie to you. But I would rather you hate me and you be alive then you....care for me and you be dead. Because I was right Lucas, there was a chance that you could live and I fulfilled your wish...you would have died for no reason, so you may hate me but I have no regrets with what I did."

Lucas still just looks aimlessly up at the ceiling. He doesn't know what to think honestly right now, his mind is so all over the place and he doesn't even know to process things right now. "Did I die?" He questions while he still looks up.

"Lucas you're alive you—"

"Just the answer the question, and answer honestly...if you can even do that." Lucas states.

Max swallows a little while she looks down, playing with her finger nails a little bit. "You did you....for an hour." She replies honestly.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Lucas you didn't hurt me." Max shakes her head. "It wasn't you."

Lucas closes his eyes briefly, honestly feeling tears begin to roll down his face. He sobs out a little bit while putting his hand on his forehead, him just letting out all of his cries and sorrows.

Max wants to touch him but she doesn't, she doesn't know how he will respond to it. "I am truly sorry Lucas, I'm sorry for that...feeling I'll never know that you have, but I'm not sorry for what I did." Max says. "I know I hurt you, and I know I have angered you, you probably hate me, but I have no regrets."

"Just...." Lucas starts. "I need to be alone, just please just leave me alone."

Max swallows the big lump in her throat, and all she can do is nod while she gets up, her going over to the door. She gives him one last look before she goes to open the door, going to softly close the door behind him.

Max's face scrunches up in sadness as soon as she closes the door, her back colliding with the wall before she slides down on it, her beginning to cry while running her hands through her hair.

Lucas turns his weak body to the side, him going to lightly hug himself while he begins to cry, his cries becoming harder and harder. Both of them now have plaguing memories, memories that are going to haunt them into the end of their days...

And that makes them cry even harder.

~

Lucas continues to look ahead of him while the light shines in his eye, him taking deep breaths while they examine his breaths.

"How are you feeling man?" Dustin questions, taking the mini light away from his eyes.

"Better." Lucas nods.

"How is that weak feeling?"

"Gone. Since I have been eating more."

"You feel like your appetite has grown back to normal?"

"Yeah."

"Okay and what about that burning feeling you said?"

Lucas smiles softly while nodding. "Gone."

Dustin smiles. "Great." Dustin says, him picking up his clipboard. "We ran some tests, would you like to see your scans and cells?"

"Yeah." Lucas says.

Dustin shows him the black and white picture. "You know how those little beads used to be everywhere which was the virus?"

"Yeah."

Dustin turns the page, Lucas smiling more when he doesn't see those beads at all in his cells or in his scans. "So...I'm cured?"

"You are definitely cured." Dustin smiles at him. "I'm sorry that the process was quite...painful and just...crazy but at least you are cured."

"Yeah." Lucas nods his head.

"Okay well it has only been a week so take it easy okay?" Dustin says. "There will be checkups every week for you, until then you are free to go back to your place...but no joining back in on GuardRunner duties until you have recovered fully, which we will gage since this is a new thing for all of us."

Lucas nods his head, him going to get up from the bed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Dustin smiles, patting his shoulder a little. "Good to have you back."

Lucas nods, him going to leave out of the door.

Max downs the last of her drink while she is in her room, her hair being in a messy bun behind her head, her room a little messy, her sitting at the table along with Nancy and Eleven.

"He hates me." Max says while pouring herself another cup. "He won't even talk to me it's been a week."

"He doesn't hate you Max." Eleven shakes her head. "He's probably just...processing things."

"No he definitely hates me, he even told me so." Max shrugs, her leaning back in her seat.

"Okay let's not down our feelings in alcohol." Nancy says, going to take the cup and bottle away from her.

"Think about it this way. He was the one that felt himself turn, saw it too, and died for an hour." Eleven says. "And based on what you said he had to kill his own family...in a way to put them at peace, that's a lot to handle Max."

"Plus he's always most of the time been alone since he is a traveler, so he is used to handling things alone." Nancy mentions.

"He probably just needs his time to get his mind together." Eleven says.

"Or