The humming wind at the rooftop feels refreshing and comforting. Paired with the blazing heat of the sun though, the breeze is still not enough. That's why Oikawa Tooru chose to lay under the shade and enjoy the wind there. Since his companion is running late, he fell asleep.

Perhaps these past few days really wore him out for practicing two different things, because he didn't woke up when you finally opened the door.

His soft breathes intertwined with the wind and a smile graced your lips because you thought it was adorable. As you tiptoed beside him, you felt this empty feeling in your heart once again. But unlike the first time you befriended Oikawa, it's bearable now.

"Tooru-kun..." you whispered delicately. However, even though the corners of his mouth turned up, Oikawa was still asleep.

Yet another thing that made the empty and dark feeling go away. Among the all the guys that you know except for Kentaro, Oikawa is the only one who brings those unwanted feelings and make them disappear at the same time.

Or maybe, it's your pessimistic thoughts that are bringing the negativity when you're with him or near other guys and Oikawa is the only male who can bring you ease.

Another smile spread across your face at the thought of that and you leaned to his ears, whispering, "Thank you."

Finally, Oikawa opened his eyes and abruptly sat up. His brown pair of orbs widened when he saw you and he scratched his head as an attempt to calm himself.

"Since when did you arrive, Y/N-chan?" He asked with a sheepish smile, seemingly unaware of your words earlier.

"Just a few seconds ago..." You replied as you unwrapped your lunch. Oikawa also started doing the same.

There was an awkward silence between the two of you, but perhaps only Oikawa felt it because anxiety were bubbling up inside of you. Mixed with fear, self-hatred and shame, your expression darkened and became gloomy.

"...Tooru-kun, what do you think of skinship?" You voice wavered as you immediately ate the tamagoyaki while the chopsticks stayed between your lips.

Oikawa's eyes whipped towards you when he heard how the words slipped on your tongue and stared at you for a few seconds before gazing back to his food.

"...I'm fine with it. I mean, it's normal for me and my friends." He hesitated.

"Oh...normal..." You slowly nodded as you dazed off, wondering how normal feels.

Oikawa looked at you back and forth, panicking if what he said wasn't right. Then he finally cleared his throat and gained your attention once more.

"By normal, what I mean is for example, skin brushing against each other when you do things like taking picture," he explained while his hands were moving up everywhere, "You usually wouldn't mind. It's normal, I guess? Something like that..."

Then he tried to laugh to distract himself from feeling embarrassed about his all over the place explanation. For some reason, when you're looking at him when he speaks, Oikawa can't think straight.

His troubled look resulted your sudden laughter and Oikawa stared at you. He caught his breath at your breathtaking smile. Oh how he wish time would stop.

"I'm sorry, what I said didn't make sense." Then he laughed too, shaking his head at his silliness.

Another fond memory was made and unconsciously, something was being formed deeper. Then something occurs to you and your curiosity didn't let you rethink your words.

"Tooru-kun, I know this sounds weird but, can I get close to you?" By the time you finished your sentence, your face was already bright red and your mind was cussing yourself for saying something that you would feel ashamed of later.

Oikawa too, was shocked as he spat out his drink and almost choked. He thought that what you are implying was different. Of course, you are unaware of this since you aren't familiar with romance.

"W-What I'm saying is, I want to test if I'm c-comfortable with skinship if it's you..." You stammered as you shyly averted your gaze. Surely, when all of this comes back to you, you'd want to smash your head against the wall.

"S-So...can we hold hands?"

The confidence to ask and say something like this wasn't expected of you in the first place. Too out of character. But Oikawa was different and perhaps it's because you also wanted to change that you let yourself be comfortable with him.

Though he can be mischievous and frivolous to others, the Captain of the volleyball has been nothing but sweet, kind and gentle to you. Furthermore, he seems to be aware that you are wary of guys and respects the line that you drew.

Oikawa do teases you but he makes you laugh and feel giddy inside along with your new found friends. To you, he's a warm person that you are grateful to. Because you knew very well that helping you does not benefit him, but he does it anyway.

"...Oh s-sure, Y/N-chan..." Oikawa replied and tried to force himself with that breezy grin of his.

He held out his hand to you and you reluctantly reached. Suddenly, the both of you are well aware of the warmth you're sharing with your flushed faces. Two pair of gazes refusing to meet each other. The scene was both cringey and sweet.

"You know, Tooru-kun, just two month ago, I avoided even brushing against another guy..." You started. The words came out naturally, as if waiting to be freed all along.

"The truth is, I didn't want to be associated with you when I first saw you, surrounded by your fans. And I certainly never imagine that I would be holding hands with you." A short laugh slipped out and the redness faded already from the both of your faces. Oikawa stared at you with a meaningful look as he listened carefully.

"At that time, you were someone I thought I could never be. You were sociable and fine with being surrounded by the opposite sex," you paused as your grip on your skirt tightened, "While I panic just by a single touch on my wrist."

Maybe it was unintentional, but Oikawa looked down when he heard that since he felt sorry for causing your mental breakdown when you two didn't know each other too well.

"I was having trouble running away from my past. It was fine when I lacked knowledge, but when I realized how severe my past was, I got scared." This time, your voice cracked and Oikawa's eyebrows furrowed. He was angry at your past, although you haven't cleared it.

"Y/N-chan, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to..." he softly said as he clutched at your hand tighter in attempt to provide comfort.

You gave him a slight smile, "I do want to know if you're going to judge me, Tooru-kun..."

Something flickered in Oikawa's gaze before his reached out his free hand to pat you on the head. His heart sank more at the thought that you might've possibly experienced being judge for the past you had no control of.

"No, I would never do that, Y/N-chan."

You smiled at him again before avoiding your gaze, afraid that his gentle eyes would change. It was overthinking again.

"I have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder because," you felt a lump in your throat as you hesitated, "I was abused and I...I...got raped...when I was eight." You shut your eyes tightly, perhaps preventing your tears to fall down. You were shaking now and on the verge of breaking down. And Oikawa could feel it.

Silence enveloped the two of you and the gentle breeze felt like it was comforting the two heart broken child. Like it was listening since it hummed in the silence.

You felt yourself slowly being pulled into a hug and Oikawa leaned his forehead on your shoulder while his free hand pats your back.

He didn't say anything but after a few seconds, you felt the fabric where he was leaning at, getting wet.

"...Tooru-kun? Are you...crying?" Your voice was cracking up at this point and you bit your lip since your tears keep threatening to come out.

"Let me cry...Y/N-chan..." he softly said between his soundless sobs. Oikawa already had considered rape as a possibility for your behavior, but he wished it wasn't the case since it's too cruel to be treated like a pig.

And be robbed of something you weren't aware of as a child. It's too cruel.

His patting stopped and he clutched tightly at your cardigan instead as he continued to cry silently. And soon, the tears that you didn't want to come out fell down your cheeks like a faucet.

You two became late for class after that because of crying too much.

++++
Author's Note:
Hey guys! I'm sorry for updating late! I'm currently dealing with a writer's block and I feel like sh*t. My depressed mode switched on again hahahahahahahahaha.

Anyway, thank you for you continuous support! I appreciate all of you! (*'∇｀*)

UNEDITED