37: Sorta. Maybe. Kinda

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Peter watched the rain drops trail down the glass of the only window in his dorm room, staring beyond the blurry lines, and at the virtually empty parking lot receiving first-hand contact of the sky's frustrations. A beating from the harsh sound of rain banging on rooftops and scraping the gravel beneath. Tears from the wetness that brought in dreary thoughts and gloom-- which brought in comfort and peace.

When Peter had commented that it looked like rain a few minutes ago, Dakota had disagreed with him by saying the day was too bright and clear for it to rain. A single dark cloud couldn't do much. But here they were.

"I should have bet you on this," he lamented, picking at the small balls of lint that stuck to his clothes before looking back out the window. Under the protection of a large, blue umbrella, a couple rushed through the rain, huddled so close you couldn't tell there were two people under there, but for the double set of limbs.

"Shut up," Dakota replied, voice scratchy and irritated.

Peter tore his gaze away from the couple who were halfway across the sea of gravel and looked to the blonde who sat a few feet away. Her chest was pressed to the bed, and her butt lifted high in the air.

Initially, Peter didn't want to comment on the current position Dakota bent her body into, but he couldn't resist as he noticed the light, back-and-forth rocking she was doing. "Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me. It's just---I'm trying to get comfortable," Dakota dismissed. She was rocking harder now.

"Wait... comfortable?"

"Cramps, Peter." Oh, that. "I'm trying so hard not to cry right now. So don't bring up any stupid topics, otherwise you'll be out in the rain crying," she snapped at him, lifting her eyes to pass him a look of irritation. The action was swift and rushed, causing her to fall on her side. She didn't move an inch after that.

Peter stared in silence, and trying to figure out whether she was still alive, called out. He was honestly a little ruffled by her threat, but she couldn't kick him out of his own room, right? "Um, Dakota?"

"What?" Her voice was muffled by the sheets that had bunched up during her fall.

"Do you want help getting up?"

"Why would I want to get up?" She lifted her head, chin pressed into the mattress. "This is the most comfortable I've been in all day." A small smile grew wide on her face as she tucked her legs closer to her body, subjecting her body into a fetal position when she curled into a ball. Her voice was calmer now, no longer the storm it had been seconds ago. Just a light pitter-patter.

"Alright," Peter said. "Are you done with all your papers yet?"

"Got one more on Friday then that's it," Dakota answered. "You?"

"I finished last week."

"Then what the fuck are you doing here?" Dakota lifted the upper part of her body, staring at Peter like he had lost his mind. "Don't tell me you actually like staying in the dorms."

He sighed. "I don't."

"Then why--"

"I don't know." Peter's shoulders tensed and fell in a shrug. "I feel weird when I think about going home."

"Ivy home or Dad home?"

At this point, he had to bite the inside of his cheek and take a deep breath. He managed to say it without a break in his tone. "Colin home."

"Oh." Dakota's eyebrows knit together in a small frown, a look of confusion spread on her features. Her tongue peeked out to lick her lips before she spoke again. "Why is that?"

"He hasn't told you?"

"Colin hasn't told me a thing since that time we had lunch. He said you got mad when you realized he told me about your money problems and the whole 'we're not talking' thing, so he's never really mentioned stuff about you and him."

"Right." Peter didn't know what to do with the information, so he tucked it away at the back of his mind. It stayed there until another thought struck up a match a moment later---Dakota didn't have a clue about his involvement with Colin. "Was that why he never told you we were together?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, lifting her head again to place a pillow she grabbed beneath it. "He said it would be better if you told me, in your own time."

Peter nodded slowly. "Well, we're not together right now."

"You guys broke up? Why?"

"No, no, no, it's not like that. We didn't call things off," he said in a rush, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's just-a lot has been going on. You're not the only one he doesn't tell things, apparently."

Dakota rolled over, laying on her back as she spread out her hands and legs. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No---actually, yeah," he breathed. "I do wanna talk about it." For the past week, all the things he had bottled up inside, for fear of addressing them, that piled until he felt like he couldn't breathe. Especially considering that he had had no contact with Colin ever since he left. It was as easy as he thought. There were no calls, no texts-no worries. But beneath all that came the sick feeling of him being forgotten, him no longer being a priority.

"I'm listening."

"Marcus Hall is gay." He sounded like Colin, weaving his way into a topic by circling it, tethering on an edge which remained an unnecessary block.

"I... actually don't find that surprising," Dakota responded with a thoughtful look. "But I don't see the connection-- "

"He and Colin dated," Peter explained, disregarding the state of Dakota's jaw which looked like it dropped out of its hinges.

"No way!"

"Yes, way. They even had a reunion and sealed it with a make-out session while I slept right there. And Colin never bothered to tell me the truth until he thought I was going to end things."

Her tone fell. "That sounds like a huge mess."

"It's not half as painful as watching the apology video Colin did after he beat up Marcus so bad that they need surgery to get his nose fixed."

"Colin fought?" Her voice was heavy with excitement-not with horror or disappointed as Peter had expected. "Oh shit, oh shit. Oh... shit. Ow." The high-pitched voice blended into a howl of pain.

"Another cramp?"

"Yes. If this is what pregnancy feels like, I'm definitely not having kids," she muttered under her breath, and in a more audible tone, said, "But go on."

"I couldn't finish watching the apology. Stopped somewhere in the middle."

"Was it that bad?"

"You haven't seen the video, have you? It was trending a while ago," Peter said, biting on his lip. The video's popularity was the reason he found it in the first place, and he felt like it did poorly in fixing the rift between him and Colin.

"I'm staying away from social media until I'm done with finals. I spend hours on Buzzfeed trying to find which celebrity potato I look like whenever I open Google to search for a word."

"That's understandable," Peter said with a nod. "Colin had been talking about the incident at the hotel and how he acted out of turn, but then he started saying he also had to apologise to me, and I---I couldn't watch it. Not when it felt that personal and invasive."

"Oh my God, he said your name?"

He hadn't. But even with that, Peter had to stop it from playing and turn his phone face down. It had been like Colin was staring right at him.

"No."

"I hope things turn out fine with you two. It felt like you were good with each other the first time I saw you both grinding on the floor in the halls, and it feels like you're better for each other even thought you here and he's, well, back there."

"We weren't grinding, geez." Peter shifted his eyes to the window and swallowed down the small smile which tugged at his lips, before it could manifest any further. "I just fell on him, that's all."

"Mhm." Dakota's hum didn't any more convincing than Peter's response. "Hey, can you call Jasmine for me? My phone's in my bag and I don't think I can reach it right now," she groaned.

Peter crawled over to the end of the bed and hooked his fingers under the strap of the carry-on, pulling it towards him. He went through the compartments and pulled out Dakota's phone.

"Fingerprint?" He tilted the device in her direction.

"Ugh, I---my hand's too tired. Just type in the password." Dakota mentioned the code meant to unlock her phone, trailing off after a character or two to flip herself over.

After a minute of huh's and what did you say's, the dark-haired guy gained access to the home screen and searched for Dakota's girlfriend's contact. He pressed the phone to his ear and told the blonde,"Calling."

"Tell her I need her to come here. Oh, and add that she should bring a tub of ice cream." Now, she had her back pressed to the wall, and shifted multiple times.

Once Jasmine came on the line, the dark-haired guy answered to her 'Hey, babe' with, "It's Peter. She's in my room and wants you to come here with ice cream."

Dakota made a clarification to her request. "A tub!"

"Lot's of it," Peter said into the phone. He heard a laugh from Jasmine's end as she said she would be on her way soon. By now, Dakota had invited her girlfriend to Peter's dorm room so many times that they were practically his new roommates now that Maverick was gone. He wasn't complaining though, their company was welcome.

"And something to munch on," Dakota added.

Rolling his eyes, Peter bundled all the requests he knew we're coming in into one sentence. "Dakota would like you to bring her an entire store."

Staring up at Peter, she looked like she was going to burst any second. With watery eyes and quivering lips, the blonde whispered, "I love you."

Peter gave her the biggest close-lipped smile he could conjure and reached to pat her hair gently. He finished up the call with Jasmine and replaced Dakota's phone, in a whisper saying, "He said that to me too."

"That he loves you? That's wonderful, Peter. I don't think I've ever heard him ever say it before."

"Me neither. But he said it to me after the incident. And dwelled on it after his sister invited me to her wedding and asked me to play a song at it."

"You're gonna do it?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Jasmine and I say it to each other all the time, but that doesn't mean relationships where partners don't express their love verbally are any less valid. I mean, Colin has showed you he loves you a lot of times without actually saying words, right?"

"I guess." Peter shrugged. "He let me keep that blue hoodie of his even though I manipulated him into giving it in the first place. And he cooks when it's my night to... although I guess he does that so we both don't get diarrhoea."

"Exactly. It's all love. Even the littlest touch can mean so much."

"Yeah." He thought back to the times Colin held him, reminisced the first touch from the skate park, the hair ruffles every time Colin wanted to annoy him, the hugs he provided to Peter on the days he felt like shit. Even when they fucked, Colin always slipped in some sort of well-meaning gestures---be it a kiss or a fond cuddle where he pressed their bodies together.

He smiled. For some reason, Peter had a wide smile on his face, one he didn't even want to fight or hide. For another, he didn't fight the words that left his lips. "I think I sorta, maybe, love Colin too. Kinda."

"Kinda? Peter, you are ass over tits for him. You're even wearing that smelly hoodie of his. Do you even wash that thing?"

"It's not smelly." Peter brought the sleeve of the material to his nose and sniffed. It wasn't smelly at all. The only thing his nose picked up was the vague hint of honey body wash that still hung unto the threads in the fabric. "And I wash it... just not after the last time he wore it. I don't wanna wash out his scent."

"I repeat: ass over tits." Dakota made it a point to hit the bed with her fist for emphasis, and Peter poked her with his foot in warning. It had been a poorly thought out choice.

Before he could stop her, he had his hands pinned down and his foot looked between her knees. "Dakota, what the fu-- "

"Knock knock!" A voice interrupted. A voice sent from heaven through the pouring rain.

"Come in, hurry, she's trying to kill me here." Peter managed to catch both Dakota's hands and struggled to get her to hold still.

Jasmine had a knapsack pressed to her front, balancing it with both her arms as her foot kicked the door shut when she stepped through. She whipped her hair back in hopes to sweep the long braids that fell over her face away. "I come with food!" she announced, patting the bottom of the knapsack before she settled it on Peter's desk, taking off her damp jacket and hanging it over the chair. "And I'm also going to pretend I don't see my girlfriend humping you."

"Jaz!" Dakota squealed, suddenly forgetting about any and all pain she was experiencing. With her knees, she crawled off Peter and moved to the edge of the bed, pressing a kiss to Jasmine's plump lips. "Do I tell you how much I love you?" Her hand was pale compared to the dark skin of Jasmine's face which she held, but there had never looked a match more perfect.

"We both know you say it for the food, but I gotcha every time." Jasmine kissed her back briefly and went ahead to unpack everything she brought along.

After a moment, each of them had either a beverage, a pastry, or some flavour of frozen solid ice cream-or all three. It was junk food galore.

The heavy rain had reduced to a drizzle, and Peter's own internal torrent calmed with it. It felt good to talk to someone about how he felt; it felt better to admit his feelings out loud. Best of all, eating to his heart's content topped the whole thing off.

Jasmine's hand went up to wipe off a smear of strawberry ice cream from upper lip, falling back down when Dakota conveniently licked it off before she could reach it. She winked at the beaming blonde and turned to Peter. "By the way, didn't you finish with everything last week? Because Jessica also has your classes and she left on Monday."

Peter swallowed the chewed up jam roll in his mouth before saying, "I did."

She looked at him like he was crazy. "Then what the fuck are still you doing here? You actually like staying in this place?"

~~

Surprise update woo!!

School has greatly affected my writing but I managed to skip in this chapter so fingers crossed that this happens again ๐Ÿ‘€

Thoughts on this little piece I put together??

Special mentions: Shoutouts to HerFairDumbAzz Friendly-Monster and kittypal730 for the support!

Speaking of which, I also pieced together a new project for my ONC entry! If you want a romcom with POC and nonbinary representation, be sure to check out Sincerely, Mysterious on my profile!

Ever wonder what it's like to have your crush in your DMs? Well, Adrian Gonzalez has a fairly good idea.

His crush ends up texting him after he sends a stupid, impulsive, never-wish-I-typed-it reply in his Biology class groupchat, and their lives intertwine---with one boy hiding his identity for fear of rejection, and one person eagerly waiting to see who is behind the mysterious profile he begins to text everyday.

It would mean so so so so much to me if you guys could hop on over there and give it a read :))
"All your support is welcome," I say as I shamelessly crawl after you and direct you to my new book with the reason that there's tons of humour and cool graphicsโ™กโ™ก

Till next time!

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