*For those of you who don't know, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is about a boy named Charlie who was assaulted  by his Aunt at a young age and watched his friend commit suicide. It goes through the process of him making new friends while suffering in silence.

A/N: Favorite Book?

May 24th:

Elias is stacking shelves when Mara shatters through the front doors, singing at the top of her lungs. Her voice is scratchy with overuse, her vocal cords straining. She isn't particularly a good singer. It feels very much like the first time they met, although now Elias is prepared for the storm of personality that will follow her charismatic smirk.

"Elias, Elias, Elias," she chirps in a sing-songy voice. Her eyes carry a wild glint today as she seems strange. She looks almost disorganized as she continues to look over her shoulder. Her clothes are all wrinkled, and her hair appears not  to be combed, as if she came in a hurry.

'Emmy Emmy Emmy,' he uses her new nickname. She walks into the aisle, brushing her fingers over the binds of the books. Her irises dilating as she smiles, looking back at Elias over her shoulder.

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite," Mara mumbles, pulling The Perks of Being a Wallflower from the cart he pushes. She flips the book over in her hands as Elias can only stare at it. His head hurts a little, his ears ringing while his body turns hot.

That book is so close to his reality that he feels sick reading the first page. His teacher had assigned it to them a month after the day, which became his first hit of truth. Reading halfway through the book was when he realized, honestly, what had happened to him. It was a punch to the gut, his first real panic attack, and the day he chose to shut everyone out.

Elias coughs, clearing his throat as he looks away. Mara, too focused on whatever, doesn't seem to notice as she places the book in a random spot on the shelf. She skips back towards him, brushing her hand across his back before looking at the colorful bookcase across from them.

"I think people need to talk about it more, what happened in that book. What Charlie went through." Mara sighs, looking at Elias over her shoulder. She tilts her head at his hurt expression, pouting out her bottom lip in question.

'You have no idea,' he signs, turning away from her. It hurts his heart, hearing her say those words out loud. He feels, somewhere, that he can trust her with his most sinister secret. And that terrifies him. He's kept this to himself all these years. 

His trauma has grown to be a part of who he is as a person.

He is afraid that if he lets her in, he will crumble. That all the walls he's built up will dissolve into ash, and he will be left vulnerable and exposed. His words, agreeing with what she said, are the closest he's come to a confession. And it scares him because he is willing to tell her everything. All the words and the nightmares he's kept bottled up over the years. Everything he can't make his vocal cords say but wishes he could.

But, when he turns around, Mara has disappeared into another aisle. So he drops it and plasters a smile back on his face like so many times before. Hoping that if he can pretend happiness, he will eventually believe it to be real.

Shaking his head and ridding himself of his somber mood, he wanders out of the aisle. Pacing the long stretch of carpet, he looks out for Mara's dancing figure, following her hums. It is like a game of hide and go seek. Eventually, he finds her in the children's section, sprawled out on the floor.

'Did you have a reason for coming, or are you just here for moral support?' he teases, trudging up to her begrudgingly. She now had an array of Dr. Seuss books lounged out around her in a halo, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. Elias moves to relax next to her, leaning his back against the wooden bookcase, watching her curiously.

Her eyes flick up to his, and there erratic. Her pupils are dilated so big that the icy blue of her eyes turns a darker shade of blue. They are the deep expanse of the ocean rather than the shallow end. She stares at him with intensity, her knees bouncing in animation.

"Remember this book," she holds up Oh, the Places You'll Go!. Elias nods, recalling that that was the book he'd used to ask where she was from. Her response had been witty to Elias that she so openly admitted her crazy.

It had also fascinated him to her. She charmed him with her words, her carefreeness. The jagged beauty that made him take a second glance at her.

"Who knew I'd be stuck with you five months later," she giggles, tossing it aside and plucking up another children's book. She flips through the pages rapidly before gasping, dropping the story to the floor, and throwing her hands up towards Elias's face.

"How's my favorite person?" She asks, innocently looking to him as if she didn't just spaz out. He only shakes his head, smiling. He finds her jitteriness enjoyable, how she can bounce from one thought to the next, diverting attention.

She keeps looking over her shoulder as if waiting for someone to appear. Like she is looking for someone, only Elias doesn't know who.

'I'm good. Are you high?' He deadpans her a once-over. In acknowledgment, she clicks her tongue, standing up. Holding her hand out to Elias in to take, his misery leaves him as if it never happened. Mara has that effect, the ability to rid his history into a simple figure of his past.

"No, I am not high, just happy. I'm feeling a lot today so just go along with it," she waves it off with a grin. "I do have a reason for being here, though."

'What is it?' He challenges, holding onto her hand on instinct because he likes the warm feeling that snakes through his veins. Even more so because he is afraid she might just disappear. She is acting like a child on a sugar high, with bounds of energy. Her decisions are irrational and impulsive. She just acts on what she is feeling without thinking twice of its effects.

"I don't remember, but I'll let you know when I do," she shrugs, skipping away. She pulls Elias with her, him carrying her backpack because she left it behind. It is heavy, weighing him down, but he doesn't look inside it.

He never asked her why she has it, he just knows she always does. She carries it like it is her life and guards it like she is afraid of what will happen if someone got a hold of it.

She stops suddenly, twisting around, so she is facing him. Her eyes zeroing in on her backpack in his hands, snatching it away from him with a frown. Her expression turns grim as her eyes focus on him, slinging the bag over her shoulders.

"Don't take my stuff," she scrapes her teeth, glaring at him.

'You forgot it,' he brushes off her attitude, 'so I grabbed it for you.'

"Oh," she gasps, her frown turning into a smile so quickly he'd forgotten it was even there, "thank you."

She disappears again, leaving Elias in her dust. He shakes his head, staring at his hands that are still outstretched in the libation. Rolling his eyes, Elias scratches the back of his neck in both confusion and surprise. She never fails to keep him on his toes.

"Common weirdo," Mara pokes her head out from an aisle, dragging Elias's burning gaze to her. She disappears behind the oak bookcase again, her copious honey hair whipping behind her.

When he finds her halfway in the aisle, she's holding Ramona and Beezus in her palm. She glares at it, ignoring Elias, who lingers behind her. The mint of his breath, fanning the nap of her neck. Attacking all her senses as he peers over her shoulders, her body heat radiating over her back.

She is gripping the book so hard her fingertips turn white, her purple nail polished chipped as if she was picking at it. She doesn't look happy, staring at that book.

"I remember now," she leans back, letting all her weight be placed on him. His hands lower to her waist, holding her upright while he hums. She sighs, her head falling against his racing heart, squeezing her eyes shut. Her back is pressed against his front.

When she spins around to look at him, the smile has reappeared on her face. Her anger has been wiped away into a clean state so much so that even her eyes shine happiness. Either she is a fabulous actress, or she can alter her feelings quickly, Elias realizes.

'What do you remember, Emmy?' He beams, hugging her back when her arms wrapped around his torso. She squeezes him tightly. He doesn't freeze at her touch, so used to it by now.

He doesn't really have a chance not to like it. Mara doesn't seem to have any sense of boundaries.

"My sister's wedding. My mother being psychotic. How much I hate my family. There's a lot to unfold and hours of therapy," she mumbles into his chest. Elias laughs, vibrating against Mara's ears as he pulls her away from him.

'What about it,' he taps her nose, ducking down slightly, so he is eye level.

"Well, I need a plus one, I guess. No, that's a lie. I don't think I can survive it alone, so I wanted to know if you'd come with me. Actually, I'm demanding you come with me." She groans, her head falling onto his chest. He runs his fingers through her hair, brushing out the curls that litter her tangled waves of blonde tresses.

'When is it?' He signs in the space between them so she can see. She just stares at his hand, biting her lip.

"June 3rd," she grumbles.

'Sorry, I'm busy,' he signs, his hands moving back to her hair, tugging it. She looks up at him, glaring at his teasing smirk. She pokes his chest, driving her finger into his skin before he turns away from it after the pain recedes.

"I wasn't really asking, you know," she crosses her arms over her chest.

'Chill Medusa,' he shakes his head, smiling wide. His teeth show, his dimples popping out that melts some of Mara's glare. 'I'll be there.'

"Great!" She claps, and her smile has reappeared. Elias's elation never falters as he's never felt this content in a while. He is exhibiting something he has never felt before, and he doesn't mind it. In fact, he searches for it, the feeling that pumps through him.

Whatever it is, he wants more.

---

Authors Note:

The fun is happening, guys, it's coming soon.

Thoughts?

Like, comment, and follow.

- ❤ Nia

Edited 4/1/22