July 10th

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words are easy, like the wind, faithful friends are hard to find.

-Shakespeare


July 10th:

Mara raps swiftly on Ryn's door early this morning before the sun even rises beyond the horizon. An orange glow sets out on the long winding streets leading to the apartment complex. The crisp air outside warm with the morning breeze that messed up Mara's blonde hair as she walked.

With her knuckles now resting against the door frame, the rattling of a lock comes from the reverse side. After a minute of hesitation, the old door swings open, a gust of wind hitting where Mara teeters on both feet. She smiles brightly, trying to calm Ryn, who doesn't look pleased to see Mara at this hour.

Ryn frowns, her eyebrows furrowed as she shakes her head. She crosses her arms over her chest, throwing Mara a chilling glower. Ryn is the type of person who won't wake up before 1:00 AM on a good day.

Her thick, raven black hair is tied up into a short ponytail, her blunt bangs in disarray. She is bare-faced, a rare sight for Ryn, who mastered that art of makeup by the time she was sixteen. She even had a youtube channel with a few thousand dedicated followers.

Her baggy clothes are so big on her petite frame that the collar hangs over one shoulder. She stares at Mara for a long second, rolling her eyes as she gives her enough room to step in. Mara breezes by, falling into the messy living room. Clothing is strewn over the floor, pizza boxes on the coffee table. The window is still open, letting in a soft breeze to eliminate the smell of weed.

"We should establish a 'no waking Cathryn up before noon rule,'" Ryn bites out, flicking Mara's forehead.

Cairo emerges from their bedroom minutes later, his bare chest wet, a towel around his shoulders and waist. He rubs the slumber from his eyes, yawning widely. Taking one glance at a standing Mara, Cairo laughs, shuffling into the kitchen. He reemerges into the living room moments later, two steam cups of coffee in hand.

"I would offer you some," he says, chuckling, handing a steaming cup to Ryn, who smiles softly at him, "but it looks like you don't need any more energy."

"I want to find my dad," Mara states bluntly. With the mug against her parted lips, Ryn looks at Mara over the rim, her eyebrow raising upwards. Mara had told Ryn all about her mother's deception, to which Ryn shrugged, not caring. She will help Mara out, of course, they are closer than most sisters even are. At least, in Mara's case.

But Ryn doesn't understand how having three parents can be something to sulk about. Ryn wishes she could even have an ounce of that amount of love.

She only has two parents, and barely even that. Her adoptive parents are friendly people whose business skyrocketed when she was around fifteen. After that, it was business calls and two-person excursions to tropical islands, leaving Ryn home alone with a qualified nanny. Even though it wasn't the same, she felt abandoned for the second time in her life.

"And how do you suppose we do that? Remember we're college students struggling enough with rent," Ryn laments, flopping down on the tattered couch. Cairo had turned on cartoons, Bugs Bunny, that play softly in the background. He is staring intently at the flickering screen, his head on Ryn's shoulder, who gulps down her coffee and begins sipping on Cairo's.

"At the library," Mara's smile grows, taking over her features, "they have computers and free wifi." And Elias Mara adds inside her head, her sunny mood rising. Ryn throws her a look that gives away her obvious starstruck character. Clucking her tongue, she looks at Mara an assessing second.

"You're lucky I love you, Mar," Ryn groans, shaking her head unamused. Mara smiles, jumping up and down as she claps her hands excitedly. Falling onto Ryn's lap, Cairo glares at her, having been dragged from his cartoons. The two acting like children, Ryn feels like their mother.

Mara clutches Ryn tightly, who shakes her head, holding her coffee away from the girl with too much unkempt energy. They have an understood relationship that, although Ryn will act as if Mara's ideas were the worst in the world, they support each other through it all. Ryn is there during all of the episodes; and Mara is there with everything between Ryn and her parents.

"Love you too, Ryn," Mara beams cheesily.

---

Mara spots Elias first, rupturing through the unlatched door. The library isn't open yet, but Mara knows the jammed door that is open at any hour. Skipping towards a working Elias, she wraps her arms around his waist from behind. He smells of coconut shampoo, his clothing warm and just out the dryer smelling.

"Why am I not surprised to see you," Elias sighs with a soft smile, turning around in her arms so he is hugging her back. He is working at the main computer, checking who has overdue books so he can send out a notifying email. 

He is, admittedly, bored.

"You just disappeared," Ryn breathes a puff of air, walking around the corner. She stops in her steps, her high tops squeaking against the tiles. Taking a glance at their embrace, a smirk falls on her lips. Her expression turns wicked, her sharp eyebrows raising, her lined lips pull upright.

"I'm Cathryn Raja," she nods knowingly, extending her hand out towards Elias. He takes it hesitantly, glancing at Mara, who was looking over his shoulder. Her attention was directed towards the resource center, more importantly, the computers. "You must be the Elias she spent a whole week at my place talking about."

"So are you two here for a reason..." Elias trails off, his eyes flicking between Ryn and Mara. Although Mara has many inches of height on Ryn, it is blatantly obvious who is the more dominant. It surprises Elias to see Mara so submissive towards another person. Mara always radiates an air of confidence, she always seems to know what she is doing.

But here, she walks behind Ryn, who leads the way.

"Can we use the computers?" Mara points in the region, smiling coyly at Elias. He shrugs, following them along as they walk in the direction of the glassed-off room. She won't take no for an answer, he decides it will be better if he acts as damage control.

"What are you looking for?" Elias mutters as Mara logs into a leftover account. Someone named Nancy had forgotten to log off, videos of dancing cats bursting onto the screen. Each of them laughs at the video itself, their voices mixing into one harmonious unison.

"We're looking for my birth dad," Mara replies, looking upwards at Elias. She's taken the wooden chair, Ryn sitting on the edge of the table, while Elias stands behind Mara. Each huddled over the small screen, her fingers flying over the keyboard as she searches.

"Give me that," Ryn's manicured finger flicks towards the keyboard and mouse. Mara moves over, Elias's hand now on her shoulder, soothing. He can feel her tension, her anxiety rolling in crashing waves creates an air of tension around her.

"What's his name?" She glances over her shoulder at the couple.

"Garrett Delarosa," Mara tells her, her mood sad. She is angry, too, that her mother withheld this information. Thomas Gray, who Mara believed was her father for years, never paid her any attention. Maybe had she known, she would have had a chance of having a real father. But as always, Genevieve Gray has to keep her perfect image intact. Even if that means hurting those closest to her, including herself.

Ryn flicks through Facebook pages, Instagrams, and even Tumblr before landing on an old article. The boy in the picture is younger, the image faded with age, but the resemblance is uncanny.

Garrett Delarosa is the spitting image of Mara, with light blonde hair and chilling blue eyes that hold secrets. Even his face is the same structure as hers, the two could pass as siblings. They each collectively gasp as Ryn swipes through more of the article, her eyes focusing on the last sentence.

"His friends say he was an overly kind person to anyone he met. His funeral is attended by almost half of his old high school students and friends," Ryn reads out loud. She frowns, her voice trailing off as she glances over at Mara.

Mara is stiff in her place, her eyes vigorously on the screen. She isn't sad that he passed away, she can't even expect much from him. She is mad, mad she missed her chance to meet the one person that could maybe understand her.

"Does it say how he died?" Mara mutters. Elias's hand on her shoulder grows tighter, a silent questioning. He can feel all her emotions rolling into one, and after learning that she is bipolar, he worries it will all be too much for her to handle. Not that he believes her to be some fragile doll, but he worries. He would always worry.

Does she want to know? How could she not?

"How did he die?" She says more forcefully this time. Ryn sighs, understanding it isn't good what Mara is doing to herself. She won't say no, though, the pair has that unspoken friendship. Ryn realizes if she doesn't tell her now, Mara will come back alone, with nobody to stop her thunder.

"It says- Ryn dawdles, scrolling through his obituary, "it says suicide."

It makes sense, it all makes sense to Mara. She stands up abruptly, shocking both Ryn and Elias, who stumble back. Mara begins pacing back and forth the length of the aisle, her eyes staring forward at nothingness. Her hands are twisting together as she mumbled under her breath.

"She made me feel weird, like I was messed up," Mara says, confusing both Ryn and Elias, who can only watch her turmoil. "She acted like she couldn't love me because of this disease." Mara spits, her eyes finding Elias in the chaos. He tries to comfort her storm with his unpassive appearance, but she is beyond the calming point.

Lightning dances in her eyes, her voice as loud as thunder.

"He was bipolar," she laughs without humor, hugging herself.

She wants comfort, but if anyone were to touch her, she would have a fit. Both Elias and Ryn realize this, keeping a wary eye on her. All her emotions are surfacing at the same time that she just thrusts them back out. She focuses on the numbness rather than pick each emotion apart, not wanting to feel anything at all.

"All my life, I felt weird. Nobody in my family has bipolar, so it never made sense how I got it. But Garrett, my dad, had it. That's why- Ha," Mara doubles over in hilarity. She just stands there a minute, processing it all.

"Mara, do you want to-" Elias starts, but he's interrupted by Mara's hand.

"I'm fine guys, really," she says, her mug passive. "I got my answers, that's all I wanted."

"You know I wish death upon my birth parents," Ryn breaks the tension, a smile forming on her lips. Mara chuckles, knowing the situation. Elias just looks startled, his mouth gaping open as he slings an arm over Mara's sharp shoulders.

Instantly pacified by him, she falls into his sides. She is okay though, she never expected much. A part of her feels whole, knowing that someone attached to her would have understood what it was like, alive or not, he would have known.

"Don't look at me like that, I love my parents," Elias says defensively as both shining blue eyes and dark brown ones land on him. His hands come up as he opens his palms towards them.

"Well, I guess we're not as lucky as Elias," Ryn shrugs with an eye roll, logging back onto the cat videos. The tension has been broken, replaced by light banter.

"Yeah... I wouldn't call myself lucky," Elias chuckles darkly, his eyes hooding as he glances down at Mara wrapped up in his arms. She is smiling softly at him, knowing that he's gone through something much worse than he lets on to. She lives vicariously through him, if he could survive his trauma, she can survive hers.

Making a joke out of their heartache, sharing it with others, makes it hurt a little less. It is spreading the pain out evenly until it is almost nonexistent to the beholders.

"Broken crayons still color, right?" Mara chuckles, hooking her arms tighter around Elias. She is stuffed emotionally, everyone she needs supporting her just by distracting her.

"Who says that?' Ryn frowns, utterly confused. Mara speaks her thoughts without making sense.

"I read it somewhere," she laughs, hugging back Elias. They wrap themselves up together, relaxing into soft conversation that held no width other than it was them.

As long as she had them she would be okay...right?

---

Authors Note:

Thoughts?

like & comment

- Nia


Edited 4/5/22


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