Love me the way

the horizon

loves the sun.

- Meenal Azad

February 9th:

Elias stalks through the carpeted isles, trailing the tan metal cart filled with books behind him. His fingers stroke over every gap in the sectioned-off wooden bookshelves, filling them with returned books. Dust surges in a cloud above his head, trailing him as he weaves in and out of the library.

It is quiet, except for the humming of the radiator pushing heat into the modest building. It isn't a large public library, ever sound being chorused off of the walls. The outside groans as the wind whips against the old structure of the building. Nails type on keyboards, fingers swipe through new book pages, people talk in hushed whispers.

Like a bomb has been set off, the front door slams open, startling Elias who drops the books he is holding. His eyes dart around the room as he looks for a viable place to hide, his heart rate picking up speed, panic taking him over.

"Don't worry, it's just me," Mara's tumultuous voice chimes through the open quarters, instantly settling Elias's breathing. He shakes his head, grunting unimpressed as he leans down to pick up the book that slipped from his grasp. The small ghost of a smile plays over his downturned features.

"Hey friend," she smiles, skipping towards Elias, finding him only after searching the many isles. She instantly reaches towards the cart, like a kid with sticky fingers, grabbing onto one of the chapter books and flipping it in her palm. Her fingers flip through the pages, skimming a sentence before moving on the next. Breathing in the new book smell.

She smiles at him, her blue eyes dazzling with happiness as her lips stretch wide across her sharp features. Elias slowly nods hello, extending his open palm towards her, asking silently for the book back. She sighs, tutting as she returns it back to him, her fingertips brush against his.

He doesn't flinch away from the touch, which surprises both of them. Easily, Mara brushes it off, not wanting to make a big deal out of it. On the inside, though, she's ecstatic. Her heart leaps in her chest, her mind carrying out a rhythmic dance.

"I have come to rescue you," she declares, her hand placed on her jutted-out hip. She's wearing the same white jacket as the first night they met, a new red stain on the sleeve.

He twists his head to look her in the eye, boring into their wide gaze as his eyebrow quirked. He gapes at her, pinching his face together into a questioning grimace. His fingers grazing over his jawline, scratching at the skin. His eyes convey his wariness. 

 "You, my friend, need an adventure. And I have just the place," she smirks, walking away from him, her scent of pine pursuing her. She knows he will follow her, that despite his apprehension, the offer is too intriguing to pass up.

And she is right. After a second's skepticism, Elias is trailing right on her heels. Mara is tall, her eyes level with his nose, so he has to stand on his tiptoes to see over her. Especially as they walk into the blizzard that hits Elias in the gut. Pushing through the wind that burns their faces, leaving their cheeks chapped red.

It wasn't snowing when he got to the library.

Elias's eyes burn, struggling to keep them open, he ducks behind Mara's strutting frame for protection. Neither of them talk about the way he fists her jacket in his hand, making sure he doesn't lose her as she guides him down the narrow sidewalks.

It can't be more than seven at night, but the streets remain mostly empty. Only a few straggles pass by on the sidewalks, all of them in a hurry to get out of the treacherous weather. The skies fury, coming in below-freezing climate and snow that piles up on the concrete. Their shoes, leaving marks in the fresh white powder of snow on the concrete.

They don't wander far, ducking into one of the only open shops on the square. Working solely off the flickering street lamps for guidance, the smaller buildings' bright lights catch Elias's attention. He risks glancing over Mara's head.

They stomp the snow off of their shoes once inside the safety of the small building. Both of their hair is stringy and damp with the layer of snow that coats it. Shivering at the same time, Elias and Mara both allow the heat and sweet smell of the bakery to take over their sense.

"Well, if it isn't Mara, the girl with the pretty head and a big mouth," a flour-covered man approaches the counter. He is feasible twenty, with thick rust-colored hair and big black eyes that squint into a smile. He's larger in size, his palms rubbing together, creating friction as he stares towards the two trembling teenagers.

Rolling his eyes at the girl who frequents here often, always looks too cheap out on paying.

 "Hola Rafi," Mara greets, striding towards the laminate counter.

In an act to avoid confrontation, Elias stalks towards the glass cabinet. His feet, leaving wet puddles of melting snow on the red and white checkered tiles. His eyes roam over the different banners that cover the light red walls. His intrigued gaze lands on the array of donuts and other pastries, taking hastened steps in their direction.

"Who's the Chico?" Rafi inquires, looking over to Elias who lingers awkwardly. He's leaning against the glass enclosure, his palms smooth across the surface while his nose is inches away from it. His warm breathing fogging the glass.

"That's my friend Elias. El no habla demasiado," Mara shrugs, leaning all her weight on her elbows that rest on top of the counter. She tilts her head to look at Elias, who acts like a kid in a candy store. His coffee-colored eyes, flicking over every iced donut on display. She smiles at him, looking back at Rafi, who smirks.

  "Ah, the silent type, just perfect for you, huh?" Rafi laughs. "The girl who talks too much."

 At that, Elias looks up from the display, smirking towards Rafi, whose stomach rumbles with a chuckle. A scowl forms on Mara's face, but she can't help but break out into laughter herself.

Mara beams at a lingering Elias, who tilts his head, a grin on his usually stony features. His eyes flicker towards the donuts longingly, staring intently at the chocolate one. He appears to be more relaxed, his shoulders not as tense. Teetering on the balls of his feet while he waits.

"Four chocolate donuts, please, and don't be stingy on the sprinkles," Mara charges with a crow, handing Rafi a few crumpled dollars. Rafi, as always, accepts her tawdry pay with an exhalation., knowing that Mara would leave a significant tip when he wasn't looking. He pretends as if he doesn't know and she doesn't make it a big deal, almost ritualistic by now.

Rafi returns the pair their warm pastries, to which Elias nods gently, casting his eyes to the tiles bashfully. His quiet version of thanks. He speaks through actions, using his eyes to tell people his current mood. Mara, too nods, biting into of of the donuts as she guides Elias to a little booth tucked away in the corner of the warm store. It is positioned under the heater, warm air blowing down on the table they slide into.

 "So you don't talk at all, huh? I thought maybe you just didn't like me, but you're actually strange." She giggles, sitting across from Elias who shrugs his shoulders, grunting in response. The snow on their shoes continues to melt, creating a muddy puddle beneath their feet.

"It's kinda cute though, you're like my little puppy. Trailing me around, I buy you treats," she smirks, motioning to his donuts. She is teasing him, finding it more entertaining as his dark, thick brows knit into a scowl. His mouth opens as he is about to stuff more of the delicious dough in it, his hand freezing mid-air.

"Well, since we're friends, I assume that I'm allowed to unload all of my problems on you. I'm not really about all the bull shit people spill so sometimes I come off a bit brash." She cocks an eyebrow. 

Chewing on the donut, his cheeks stuffed like a rabbit, Elias simply sighs. He hasn't really had a friend in years, so it is all very new to him. Although Mara seems like a grave exception to what is normal. Her structure resembles her personality, sharp and pointed, like shards of glass. A character of attraction that goes unrecognized from afar, up close is the real treasure.

Elias listens and hears. Even when he wants to tune out all of the static, the vibrations still hit his eardrums. It is more a matter of if he comprehends the words, picking away the resonance of it and hearing the letters form on her lips. He is hearing, yes, but not necessarily listening to what she has to say. Unless, of course, he is listening.

"Oh here! I almost forgot, stupid me," Mara emits after a moment of stillness, clapping her hands eagerly. The whole performance makes Elias jerk in his seat, his eyes darting accusingly to her. He had lost himself in the rich taste of the homemade donut, his mind in a state of elation, now ruined to Mara's screeching interruption.

"Oh hush now, I brought you this." She pushes a small brown notebook his way, petite enough he can shove it in his coat pocket. "And this." She adds a pen to the mix, a frilly one with dawn-tinted sparkles decorating its body, a pom-pom tied around the top.

"Now we can have a conversation that isn't like playing I Spy. Your silence is cute, but if I'm being quite honest, one-sided conversations are tedious." 

She ushers for him to use it with frantic fingers, kicking her legs under the table in excitement, like a young child. She'd found it at the drug store when picking up her prescription. Elias's chocolate-drop eyes flitting in her brain when she saw it sitting alone on the shelf.

He clutches onto the pen with his left hand, setting his donut down on a spare napkin. Nibbling at his lip and pulling it between his teeth, his wrist flicks with each stroke of the word. Ink filling in the crisp lines of the paper, Mara watches with an endearing smile.

Dropping his pen on the table, it clatters against the surface. He spins the notepad so it's facing Mara, shouldering it in her direction. A very scribbled out thank you is written on the page in black ink, neatly tucked between two blue lines.

"Of course, weirdo," she laughs, shoving the notebook back to him. For the first time, in a very long time, he smiles. Not a full smile, as his teeth don't show, but it's the happiest Elias has felt in a while. His full lips turned upwards, his hands fidgeting as the itch to reach out to her grows, his mind still reluctant at the yearning for touch.

His body slopes into the red cushion of the seat. Relaxing as his eyes stare at the enigma of a girl eased across from him. A blissful sensation of elation coursing through his nerves, his face aching with this unfamiliar expression. The make out of his dimples, protruding as he continues to beam, his eyes glittering.

Even after he's texted his mother to pick him up, leaning in the passenger seat of the vehicle, he can't help but feel at peace. The words inside his head, all that ink of darkness, disappearing for the night. Realizing that rainbows really do shine through a torturing storm, that flowers do bloom under a coat of dirt and snow.

 Ella notices right away the shift in her son's demeanor. Thanking, with a large smile of her own, to whoever brought him this tranquility. The entire car ride home she sings along to the radio, something she hasn't done in years. Her voice is a little scratchy, caressing the notes nevertheless. Elias bobs his head along to the beat that vibrates through his chest. Gazing out the window as he watches the world around him pass in a blur.

 With a final smile, Elias's mind settles the crashing waves into a lullaby. 

Maybe, just maybe, it isn't all that bad. 

For the first time in two years, Elias held hope.

---

Authors Note:

Just a cute Elias and Mara moment to break the sadness.

Thoughts?

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- ❤ Nia

Edited 3/29/22