Dedicated to nxstories for all her support.

April 9th:

Elias stares at the piece of paper, his eyebrows furrowed. His computer is open in the space next to him, his hands hovering over the keys. He nibbles on his bottom lip, his eyes focused on the rows of bookshelves in front of them. He's gazing at them, his mind lost in thought.

The library is closed to the public at this hour, so Elias decided to stay an extra few hours to get his homework done. The manager told him it is okay, as long as he locks up afterwards and doesn't let anyone in past hours.

He never let Mara in. She somewhat arrives unannounced. At least to Elias she is the exception.

His focus is thrown back again on the words, his ears ringing. He isn't having a panic attack like last time he stared at the paper, but he doesn't feel great either.

What is a moment in your life that crafted the way you are now?

The day I lost my voice, Elias types out, staring at the six words. Huffing, he slams down his computer screen, the same time Mara burst through the front glass doors. The heels of her Doc Martins click against the tiles before turning muffled by the carpet that leads into the computer section of the library. Her singing burns Elias eardrums.

"Hello weirdo," she beams, pulling out her earbuds. She falls onto one of the chairs opposite Elias, dumping her backpack on the table between them. She sighs, running her fingers through her golden hair and messing it up.

Elias nods, waving his hand as his mood lifts impeccably. Mara tends to have that effect on people, her hyper-activeness instantly drawing attention away from whatever they are feeling. She is either widely hated for it or adored because of it.

Elias is the latter.

Mara doesn't have any homework, having done it already. Despite some flaws in her character, she is really quite intelligent. Even after missing periods of school at a time because she is in an institution, she manages to graduate each year with flying colors.

"Whatcha working on?" Mara questions in a joking tone, leaning back on her chair. She tips it, so only two legs are against the carpet floor as her feet rest on the tabletop, her ankles crossed over the other.

Elias shakes his head, shrugging. He will put off the English assignment as long as he possibly can, unable to write about the moment that had the most impact on his life.

"That's great because I've decided we will learn sign language," she jumps up, disappearing into the rows of books. Elias blinks, his mind trying to catch up before he springs after her.

He tried learning sign language once before, and it only ended with him on the brink of tears. He knows a little, but not enough to communicate his needs.

He finds her by the ways she hums under her breath, his ears listening for her voice. She is deep into the aisle, her fingers skimming over the rim of each book. Her eyes, darting over the words before she lands on one title, pulling it out of its respected place. She runs it through her hands, smiling triumphantly.

It is Sign Language 101, For Dummies Edition. Elias laughs, chuckling as his chest vibrates with the resonance. He follows Mara back to the table as she drops the book on it, this time sitting on the chair next to his. The loud crash, echoing off the walls.

They are pulled close together, their knees brushing against each other. Elias lays his head on his arms, which are resting on the table. While her chin leans against his shoulder, looking over him as she flips through the pages with her long red nails. 

"It says to start with the alphabet." She whispers, her lips close to Elias's ears. His heartbeat races slightly at her soft voice vibrating through his eardrums. Her warm breath fans over his neck and cheek, her lips smell of the mint gum she just discarded.

They sit back from each other, Elias holding his hands out in front of his face. They both ignore the closeness as Mara skims over the first paragraph on the page.

"A." Mara states, forming her hand into a fist. Elias copies her gesture, smiling because this is an easy one. He can remember this one easily since he has an a in his name.

"Okay," Mara smirks, laughing as Elias puffs his chest, "B." Her fingers look like she's showing him the number four, although all her fingers are pressed tight together. Elias copies her movements but spreads his fingers apart.

"No, no," Mara giggles, pressing his fingers together with her own. "Like this," she whispers, looking to Elias. His eyes were so close to hers, so wide, spewing out rivers of turmoil.

The brown of his eyes shrinks as his pupils dilate. She's so close she can make out the light brown flecks around the rims in his irises. She never noticed them before.

All the same he's lost in her blue irises. They grow lighter under the bright fluorescent lighting. Her eye shape is sharp, like most of her features, accentuated with a dark brush of  liquid eyeliner. Her eyes flick back and forth between his. Waves of it's ocean, crashing the shore.

Elias lets out a staggered breath as he flicks his eyes back down to the open book. Mara does the same, both ignoring the heated feeling that burns just below their skin. They go back to the words, working through the pages.

Their laughing fills the small room, this easy moment caught on the camera in the corner. They are both enjoying themselves, letting go as they learn a new sense of normal.

After an hour or so, they have the basic understanding of the new language. They'd memorized the alphabet and even came up with their own versions of the speech. Little gestures that only them two will understand. Their own shared secret.

Each of them smiles as Mara shoves the book into her bag, her mind full of enough learning for the night. Ignoring, once again, to check it out before leaving. Elias gives her a look, his eyebrow quirked as his lips turn upwards, but she simply ignores it. Skipping through the glass doors, hit by the gust of wind.

It is dark outside as they step into the hazy air. The air is humid today, with the aftermath of the rainfall hours beforehand. The concrete is a shade deeper, the grass damp with its residue. It smells of the tempest, a thick, smoggy scent that attacks their senses. It is almost strangling, but Mara finds it comforting as she breathed it in.

She loves the rain, something about its beautiful chaos. She feels like a storm herself, brewing behind the clouds before she burst. The aftermath of her rage, left with an imprint of water droplets. And air that strangled people's windpipes surrounding her.

"I bet I can beat you to that pole," Mara giggles, throwing her bag over her shoulders. It is weighed down by the book and everything else she carries, but it isn't too bad.

She points towards the lamppost, only a few meters away from where they stand behind the doors. Elias finishes locking up the library with a click, throwing the key in his pocket.

"I doubt it," Elias signs, his fingers moving. It is erratic and not the correct wording, but Mara understand nevertheless. Smirking, she grounds her feet into the ground before pushing off of the concrete sidewalk, Elias doing the same, matching her strides. Her toes tap against the ground as Elias trails right on her heels.

They continue this, past each lamp post flickering a soft glow of light. They follow that illumination as their guide, making it down blocks of streets. At some point, they were huffing for a suffocated breath, Elias leaning against the pole holding up the light. Mara leaning against him, her shoulders sinking all her weight into her side.

He doesn't move her. Instead, he wraps his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer into him. They have become more comfortable with each other, Elias breaking down some of his barriers in the few months they've known each other.

These past few days, weeks actually, Elias has felt like he was living. Here, laughing with the girl who burst through the library doors after hours as if she owns it. His therapist was right. After a few more appointments with her and writing in his notebook, the weight is being lifted.

He, of course, still has some bad days where it takes an extra effort to get out of his bed. But the good outweighs the bad, noticing the felicitous pattern right away. Elias had been right, saying Mara was an enigma, his enigma.

An enigma, by definition, is a person or thing that is mysterious, puzzling, or difficult to understand. What Elias doesn't understand was how much of a hold she has on him.

She is a composition of that yellow crayon that only continues to fill up more of the page as days go by. All the same, Elias keeps Mara in check even if he doesn't know he's doing it. She is able to have fun with a sense of stability all the while. Her friends, the ones Elias hasn't met yet, are all bad influences and unintentionally fuel her bad habits.

They feel she could experience life without those barriers, her meds, on her mind. And it feels good, to Mara, because she is extra happy when she goes off them. When she becomes manic, she is almost numb to pain, even seeking it in some instances just to test her will.

Off her meds met her downfall, but Elias doesn't encourage that. Truthfully, he doesn't know about her condition, but Mara wants to stay sane. For him, he won't see her as the girl with a current of problems, but a girl with endless dreams and aspirations. 

Neither of them know it, but they are each other's saviors.

---

Authors Note:

Elias is learning sign language so they can communicate a little more.

Thoughts?

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- ❤ nia

Edited 3/31/22