I... Uhm...One word. Procrastination.

(Also I have to clear up that Football in this book is actually Soccer and not the American football)

Dinner was very awkward. Like I said before, when Liam was present, dinner in the dining room was mandatory.

It was Liam at the head of the table, mom to his right, I'm to her right, Zac to his left. It was weird having a 4th person.

I kept catching Zac glancing at me, but I didn't act on it. In fact I made sure he didn't know I saw him.

What was he thinking? Did he hate me? Was he afraid of talking to me?

Zac

I hated him. I hated him for being my stepbrother. It made me afraid of even talking to him.

People, mainly students at my school, would freak out if they knew that I'm having a fling with my stepbrother.

Once the news get out that Evan was my stepbrother, they'd think I was in an incestuous relationship with him. They'd judge us forever. They don't know that we aren't blood related. It was weird, but it wasn't in my hands.

I wasn't just attracted to him.

I kinda wanted him to be mine forever and ever and no one to touch him or look at him whatsoever you feel me?

The only solution was moving on. I had to stay away from him as much as I could even if I wanted to jump over the dining table and kiss him senseless.

Glancing his way, he looked so peaceful and quiet. He played around with his food, then ate a little, then played some more. He usually eats A LOT. But he wasn't okay. He didn't touch the corn and that said something.

I knew I was doing it to him. I knew I was breaking him. And I knew I couldn't do anything about it. It was a rough patch and sooner or later, it would pass.

Some things are meant to be, and some are not. Evan and I were not.

<><><><><><><>
Evan

I couldn't wait for PE class to start. Not that PE is nice or I liked it, but it meant that I could spend some time in Arts.

Ms. Parks admired my drawing abilities and talent. She even showed one of my angel sketches (which I have a lot of) to the rest of the class. I was embarrassed at first because I expected them to laugh at it or to hate me or think I'm a show off, even though I didn't want them to see my art. It was my art and I didn't want to share it.

They were surprisingly really supportive, and not the jealous-who-does-he-think-he-is kind of people.

We painted a lot. Some students were far more better than others, so the teacher split us in two groups of 6. She named them the Picassos and the DaVincis. Basically because the Picassos' arts were strongly indiscernable. I, along with 5 others, were supposed to help the Picassos. Each would be responsible for one of them, and surprisingly enough, they were all up for it.

The guy I was supposed to help was standing in the far end of the class. He was small so he looked like he was hiding behind the canvas. Unless he really was trying to hide.

I approached him and found that he was fumbling with his paint tubes. He was a mess. He looked like he didn't know what goes where.

He didn't see me standing next to him because he was bent down trying to pick up his color palette which was face down on the floor.

"Wait I'll help" I said picking it up.

"Thanks" He thanked me, looking thankful. "So you're gonna be my tutor?"

"Yeah. Is that okay with you?" he looked like he's not gonna be that hard to deal with.

"Sure thing" he smiled and I gotta admit, it was infectious. "But I gotta warn you, I literally know nothing about art and painting" I could see that from the way he was holding his palette. It was upside down with his fingers in the concave pits.

"First of all" I said, grabbing the palette out of his hand and flipping it, "this is held like that."

"Oh. Right of course. I knew that"

"Sure. Second of all, I'm gonna help you as much as I can. But I just have one question"

"Go ahead"

"Why are you here? Because obviously you look like you've never touched a brush before"

"I'm here because I really sucks at sports and I hate how gyms smell" he stuttered, "and the coach and the captain of the football team scare me" I laughed. He found Zac scary. If only he knew.

"But don't get me wrong!" he gestured with his hands, dropping the palette again, "I wanna learn. It's not like I'm here just to skip PE. I do wanna learn art"

"You don't 'learn' art" I told him. "You feel it. You feel the brush in your hand and you make your heart do the strokes"  he looked at me like he's seeing a dinosaur for the first time.
I laughed so hard "I'm just kidding. You learn it and it's not easy but we'll get there"

"Alright cool. I'm Raiden" he extended his hand to shake mine.

"I'm Evan" I took his hand in mine. "Your name is beyond cool"

"Thanks."

Zac

Coach whistled and everyone stood in line for individual assessment. These guys in front of me where the guys who made the team. They were now supposed to do individual tryouts to determine each of their positions, and who's gonna be first to be benched.

Lucas didn't have to even try to know that he's gonna be an attacker. The guy was fierce.

Our formation had three attackers.  Lucas and I were two of them. The third one was open, and from the looks of it, no one was worthy. That was until the new guy kicked so hard he actually scored. No ball could pass our goalie yet he actually scored. His name was Matt. Everyone cheered for him and he seemed a little cocky to be honest. But I didn't care, we needed him.

When coach blew his last whistle, I was surprised that I managed to not think about Evan the whole time. PE and football practice were the only two places that I do not see him. All thanks to my stupid 'put me behind Evan in all classes' strategy. Rue's mom didn't let me change it back because she simply "couldn't" and I was just supposed to "deal with it".

Rue was throwing stuff at the cheerleaders' human pyramid trying to knock them down. All because she didn't like the outfits they used. She wanted something more "not classic" and when the cheerleading squad voted against her Harley Quinn inspired outfits she became salty. She was really something else. But she was my friend.

One of my very first friends since we moved here. She was the first one to talk to me at school.

She just took a seat in front of me at lunch and started eating.

"This is really awkward" I had said in which she replied with "Yes, I am a very awkward person. Now eat" and that's how we became friends. Then we started to work at the clothing store every summer.

She introduced me to her friend Cindy, who became my first girlfriend. We broke up shortly after the first time we had sex and she then moved away. We didn't end on good terms and I was thankful she left.

After changing and taking showers, we had one last class. This was the last week with PE and Arts being the previous to last periods. Starting next week they were going to be the last classes.

Halfway through the class, Evan passed me a note.

I noticed a few guys from the team and a few others looking at me like I was guilty of committing a murder.

I did what I had to do. I crumpled it and threw it away. It killed me.

The last period always seems like it's double the time. And all that time was spent with me looking at the crimpled note on the floor next to my desk. It was like I didn't want it to move away.

When the bell struck, everyone started leaving and it got kicked and I lost track of it. They left the class one following the other, accompanied by their chit-chat and the background chit-chat of people in the halls. I waited till everyone left.

"Aren't you coming?" Rue asked.

"Yeah I'll be there in a sec" and she left.

Evan didn't even bother to look my way. He stormed out as soon as the bell rang.

After all were gone, I scanned the floor until I found it.

    I miss you too much even though we live together

I wanted to stab someone. And that someone was myself.

I quickly ran after him. I didn't care I just wanted to tell him that I missed him too. I missed him and I missed his soft hair and his warm lips and his confused eyes. I missed his cute chuckle that he does at everything remotely funny.

I reached his locker but he was already gone. I must have spent too much time looking for the note. I quickly ran outside.

I found him.

Evan was getting in a red convertible. It was really stupid to have a convertible in a town like ours because it rains all year round. But of course he didn't know because he didn't live here. He recently moved here. "He" was Leon.

Yikes.

Comment, vote, or just read. Thanks so much!