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XVI: Poisonous
Five years ago:
April 25, 2007

The spurt of rain water sprayed at my face, cooling my warm cheeks as I crossed the street. I held my umbrella tighter, but when the light from the quickly darkening sky caught on the diamond ring on my finger, scattering rays of brilliance, I grimaced. Switching the umbrella handle onto my right hand, I stuffed my other hand into the pocket of my cashmere sweater.

As I made my way down the sidewalk, I people-watched the pedestrians briskly walking past me. Some had predicted the storm on it's way and carried an umbrella, while others were less fortunate. As the light shower picked up, I observed as the men clutching newspapers over their heads and women raising designer bags to protect their hair rushed into the many shops around us.

My feet, clad in a pair of Manolo boots gifted to me by Dexter Arbogast, made soft clicking noises on the concrete at the same rate of the rain splashing against the surface of shops' display windows and restaurants' outdoor patio sets.

Just the thought of Dex that entered my mind when I looked down at my feet made me cringe. I knew what I had to do,  but it didn't make it any easier.

Dark, glooming clouds loomed high above my head and a crack of thunder could be heard in the distance. It was almost as if the universe sympathized with me, for the weather perfectly mimicked my mood.

Dark and ominous and somber.

Just like the first time I visited this small coffee shop, I froze outside the doors, completely consumed by my thoughts. As my mind tried to talk myself out of stepping through the threshold, my hand reached out to swing the door aside.

Stepping inside, my feet met the mat and almost instantly, I was submerged in warmth. Only it didn't reach my heart.

I silently folded up my umbrella and placed it in the black rack by the door, leaving it behind to walk further into the coffee shop.

My eyes swept around the shop, and towards the front, standing behind the counter chatting to his co-worker and sipping a cup of coffee was Max Reiling. He looked shaggy and worn, as if some worry was eating away at him.

I walked forward, almost in slow-motion, and placed a blank mask over my face. I had to be strong. I had to put on the best performance of my life and make the one person that knows me better than myself believe the biggest lie I've ever told.

His co-worker, Flo, noticed me first and raised an eyebrow at me. Half a second later, Max spun around and captured me in his gaze. The tired look in his eyes vanished the moment he spotted me and was replaced with relief.

A wide smile formed on his lips as he jumped over the counter and came jogging up to me. I stood frozen as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders. "Elle, thank God you're here. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I was mad and I said things I didn't mean. But I swear I'll make it up to you, okay? I'm so glad you're here now..." he murmured lovingly as his hands came up to cup either side of my face.

I gulped, avoiding his eyes, and brought my right hand up to lay against his chest. With a silent prayer, I summoned strength I didn't know I had and forced myself to look up at him.

It was then that he truly saw me.

After nearly three weeks since the last time we had seen each other, Max began to register the changes. His eyes took in my puffy eyes and the dark bags that rimmed them. He saw my eyes, once so bright and alight around him now saddened and stony. My lips were chapped from the constant anxious nipping, as were my nails which were bitten to the quick.

Taking a deep breath, I exerted the little force I could muster through my palm and gently pushed him back. "We need to talk."

Somberly, Max followed me back to our usual table. He sat in the right chair, while I took the left, just as we've been doing since we met.

I kept my gaze low, instead of watching him I eyed the number on the stand. Four.
"Elle, talk to me," Max said softly, wrenching me from my thoughts. I began to fidget with the ring under the table, and raised my head to finally meet his anxious gaze.

"We," I began in a dry, scratchy voice. I paused to clear my throat and give myself a moment to compose my expression before continuing. "We have to break up."

Max sat frozen to his chair for a moment before his blank look cracked and gave way to his confused expression. "Elle..."

"We have to break up," I repeated, this time in a stronger tone.

Max sighed and shook his head as if to clear it. "If this is about what I said, you have to understand I was upset. I'm an idiot, I know that, and I shouldn't have talked to you like that but we can move past it. I mean, you're here. After weeks of dodging my calls you finally came, and I--"

"I want to break up," I said in a low voice, interrupting his rant.

"W-What?" he asked, his face the perfect mask of bewilderment.

"I don't want to be with you anymore."

Max frowned and reached over the table to gently touched my cheek. "Elle, I'm sorry for the way we left things that night. But we can't just end it, not like this. Talk to me,  Elle. What's going through that head of yours? We can work this out, I know we can."

My hand came up instinctively to clamp over his caressing my face. I wanted to say that I didn't mean any of it, I wanted to pull him close and kiss him and never leave this place. I wanted to feel his arms around me, his lips on my skin, his scent around me, and most importantly, I wanted to get rid of the sorrow in his beautiful chocolate eyes.

Just as my mouth opened to tell him just that, I noticed where, or what his gaze was on. Even in the dimly-lit coffee shop, the diamond ring on my left hand sparkled bright, blinding him enough to have to look away.

"I-Is that a...Is that what I think it is? " Max asked in a strangled voice.

"Yes," I responded coldly. A terrible tightening in my chest nearly made me gasp,  but I fought through it enough to speak the two words that completely crushed Max Reiling. "I'm engaged."

In a second, Max was out of his seat and kneeling in front of me. "Elle. Elle, please. Don't do this. Don't leave me."

His pained pleas pierced through my heart, leaving a paralyzing regret in its wake.

"Max, don't make this harder than it has to be," I murmured before looking away from his sarrow filled irises and eyed the room full of curious customers. "Get up Max, please."

I pushed my chair back and got to my feet, Max following suit. "Elle, you can't marry him. Whoever he is, you don't love him. Not like me. You don't belong with anyone besides me."

The desperation in his voice made my breath hitch. He saw the slight hint of hesitation and stepped closer to me. "He-he does love me," I responded in an attempt to gain back control. Max needed to believe that I was marrying Dexter out of my own will, or he'll never let me go. And I can't drag him down into this. No one can save me now.

"But you don't love him," Max said taking a step forward while I took one back.

My eyes widened at his words. He was never going to believe this lie. I had to think of something, hurt him badly enough to make him not want me anymore. So I said the first thing I could think of; the thing that made Max Reiling,  the love of my life, hate me.

"I don't have to love him. He comes from a good family. He can support me and give me the type of life I deserve. Max, he's everything you're not." I watched as Max winced and flinched away from me. As much as it hurt to treat him like this, I knew it was the right thing to do. I had to be strong for the both of us.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as I stepped away and turned to flee before the tears that threatened to fall were shed.

Ignoring the rack where I'd left my umbrella, I threw the doors open and slipped out into the dark night. Within seconds, my entire body was soaking wet from the storm and my anguish was camouflaged into the rain.

"Elle!" I barely heard a scream behind me over the crack of thunder. I spun around and watched Max run up behind me. "Wait, Elle."

I stood shivering in the ice cold rain, watching his hair stick to his forehead and his eyes burning into mine. "I love you, Elle. What am I supposed to do with all this love, all this pain?"

Max gripped my upper arms, and I winced as the soreness and pain I felt of pressure against a mending bruise. "Tell me, what am I supposed to do without you?"

Max stared down at me, gripping me tight as if he were afraid I'd vanish into thin air if he let go, and keeping me in place with the haunted look in his eyes. "He'll never love you like me, and his money can't compensate for that."

I made to pull away, but his grip only tightened. "He'll never make you feel like I do. He'll never hug you, or kiss you, or touch you. Not like me..." his voice trailed off as his face inched closer until our lips were but a breath apart.

Just as he was about to kiss me though, memories of that night assaulted my mind and I stumbled away from him. I was dirty and used and broken. Max didn't deserve someone with the amount of baggage that follows me.

I didn't deserve him. I was poisonous and would surely only bring him sorrow.

And so with a final kiss on his cheek, I met his gaze and smiled sadly at him. Max deserved to be happy with someone that was worthy of him. And that person wasn't me.

"Goodbye, Max," I whispered and turned to walk out away from him, thus sucking the poison out of his life forever.

__________________________________________

A/N: Just to clarify, this is a flashback update from three weeks after that night! The reason I chose to update a flashback is because the next update which is the dinner date with Cole, Simone, and Max contains some details that would be confusing without this update to refer back to! Forgive any typos since this was typed up from the new Wattpad Beta app! Anyway thanks for the support everyone!

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