XI: Memory Lane

"APOLOGIZE," ALICE said heatedly. Hannah rolled her eyes and defensively crossed her arms over her chest.

"Why would I apologize? It's not my fault she looks like America's Next Hungry Hungry Hippo."

I couldn't hold back the bark of laughter that erupted from me then. The pair of them turned to me with raised eyebrows.

Amused, I gave a shrug and jokingly touched my hand to my heart, "I'm sorry, didn't mean to eavesdrop. But that was fucking hilarious."

Hannah smiled smugly at Alice before coming over to me and looping her hand through my elbow. "See Alice? Some people appreciate my humor."

Turning to me, she began to guide me out of the boutique. "So tell me, where did you get such a fabulous bag, and where can I get one?"

Flashing Alice an apologetic smile, I let myself be practically dragged away. "It was a gift."

"Hmm," she said eyeing the expensive Italian leather handbag, "Makes you wonder what you had to do to receive such a gift. That bag is from the Spring collection and hasn't even been released yet. The waiting list is longer than Santa's naughty list."

With a slight frown at her suggestive tone, I made sure to set her right without any censors. "Hannah, I'm not a prostitute."

She raised an eyebrow at me but the teasing smirk on her lips was unmistakable. "That's what a prostitute would say."

I knew I should feel offended, but truly I was much too amused. "As a favor to the designer of this bag, who is also a very good friend of mine, I got him an exclusive painting he's been lusting after for months but wasn't for sale. I convinced the artist to put it up on the market."

"And who's this amazing artist?"

"Me," I said pulling her into a nearby shop.

While I scanned the racks, I could feel her gaze on my face. "So is that why you changed your last name to Chevalier?"

I nodded and pulled out a simple red blazer. "I wanted to earn my fame and fortune myself."

"So then your last name doesn't define you or the person you are," Hannah replied softly.

"Yes. I never figured that any other person of this world would understand."

Hannah let out a snort and leaned against the wall next to the rack I was uninterestedly looking through. "Maybe that's why I get you."

I put the blazer back and turned to face her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't belong here in the rich side. Our family was poor before. But at least we were happy. And people don't expect things from me because I'm Hannah Hastings."

"Why are you not happy?" She sighed and straightened.

"My brother is never with me anymore. He's really all I have left. And to make things worse, he's marrying into that family of snakes....no offense."

"None taken," I said with a small smile. Feeling that perhaps what this lost little girl hiding underneath all the black makeup and clothes needs is an ally, I decided to take that position upon myself.

"Okay no more mopping. You dragged me to shop, so dagnabbit we will. Here," I said passing her a random white dress I picked off the rack, "Try this on."

Hannah gave the dress a skeptical look. I offered an encouraging smile and she finally caved with a groan. "Fine. But just nothing pink or frilly. And keep ruffles far away from me. I'm allergic to looking like a fucking cupcake."

Letting out a snort of laughter, I followed her towards the dressing rooms where I flopped down on the comfy couches. After a few moments that she didn't emerge from the dressing room, I stood up and went to knock on the door.

"Hannah?" No answer. "Are you okay?"

"No." she said curtly, "I look weird."

Fighting back a smile, I stepped back and leaned against the wall behind me. "I'll be the judge of that. Come out and let me see."

Finally, after a few threats to kick down the door, Hannah hesitantly turned the knob. Slowly, the door swung open to reveal Hannah dressed in a simple, eggshell colored dress. The hem lay low, only a couple inches above her knees, and completely different from her risque black outfit from earlier. The neckline was also modest, and accented her still not fully developed chest.

"Hannah," I began with a smile on my lips, "You don't look like a cupcake. You look beautiful, trust me."

The on-edge expression on her face slipped away as she stared at me in mild surprise. Then, the most adorable smile made it's way on her blood-red lips. "You really think so?"

I nodded and took her hand to lead her outside of the dressing room where the couches were. We came to a stop in front of the three long mirrors and I gently swept her hair behind her. "See how lovely you look?"

Hannah stared at her reflection for a moment before turning to me. Her warm brown eyes stared into mine and a flicker of emotion crossed them. It was too quick for me to identify it or to even convince myself that I really hadn't imagined it because as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

By the end of our little shopping spree, I had convinced Hannah to get another two dresses, each of them appropriate for her age. She insisted on using her brother's credit card, but I firmly refused.

While I completed her purchase, as well as one simple olive green cocktail dress for myself, Hannah stepped away to answer her phone.

"Hey bro," she paused to hear his response. "Who blabbed? Alice, or Simone?"

I heard muffled shouting from the speaker and Hannah rolled her eyes at me before pointing to the exit, signaling that she'd wait outside. I nodded at her and accepted the bags the sales clerk handed me.

"--Don't have to do anything for that high-class snob! She's nothing to me. Never will be, even when you marry her fat ass," Hannah hung up the phone just as I approached.

"Hey, sorry I ran out," she said with an apologetic smile.

Sensing that she was in a vulnerable mood, I decided to try and distract her. "Here's your stuff," I said handing over the garment bag. She took it and sent me a grateful smile.

"Thanks. I've never been dress shopping before," I raised an eyebrow at this, showing my surprise. "Well, not with anyone that I actually like anyway."

"You're welcome, sweetie." I watched as a saddened smile crossed her features and I worried that I may have said something wrong. "Um, so I was just going to go get something to drink. Do you...maybe want to join me?"

Hannah looked up at me and shook her head. "Sorry, I cant. It appears that I have to go apologize to your sister. I'll see you around, Elle. And thanks for the dresses." Catching me by surprise, Hannah leaned in for a hug which I gladly returned.

"Good luck," I said as I waved at her retreating figure.

Now alone, I wondered the streets holding my shopping bag. The cool breeze whipped at my hair and I stuffed my gloved hands into my pockets.

Without a thought or worry in my head, I let my legs walk on and my mind wonder high into the clouds. I was aware that the morning was slipping by and not even the slight discomfort I felt in my heels, or the numbness of my face in the cold slowed me down.

So I walked on, and on, and on.

My heel clad feet slowed in front of a tall brown door. The sign said 'Welcome' but I wasn't sure if I was.

With a deep sigh, I pushed the door aside and heard the oh so familiar ding of the bell, signaling the appearance of a new customer.

The place looked the same. The same mismatched furniture that gave it a homey, cozy feel was still placed in it's exact spot as the last time I was here. The warmth and familiarity of the wooden floor boards and brown hues was just as I remembered it.

And the smell. That heavenly smell of mocha and caramel still clung to the air of the cafe. Of our cafe.

"Welcome to The Brew," a petite girl with brightest blue hair said from the counter, not even bothering to look up from her magazine. She said so begrudgingly, almost as if it burned her tongue to be so polite. And knowing Florencia Tallulah Slade, it probably did.

"Hey Flo, long time no talk huh?" I said timidly. I know what a temper Flo can have, especially with me. I remember the first time I came here, she was in a piss mood because the boss, her father, had put her on 'sign' duty. She had to stand out in the cold holding a sign to advertise their business. She had looked at me standing in front of the cafe and sarcastically retorted, 'You gonna come in or just stand there like a dumbass?'

It's safe to say that I'm on her list of top ten people she'd enjoy whacking in the head with a frying pan. I actually probably made #3, at least.

"Oh great, it's you," Flo said with a roll of her eyes. "I thought you were in Italy."

I smiled and shook my head. "I'm here for a few weeks visiting."

Flo raised an eyebrow and pursued her lips. "Visiting whom?"

Her suggestive tone didn't escape me. But I pretended as if I hadn't heard it and shrugged once. "Family, my sister is getting married."

"Hitched huh? Well, then why are you here? Shouldn't you be up in your mansion or some shit like that?"

I sighed and bit down on my lip, avoiding her eyes. "Can you blame me for coming here? I mean--"

"Yes," she said in a firm tone. "I can."

I looked up and my eyes scanned the never-changing menu. "I'm sorry. This was a mistake..."

I turned around then, determined to leave before the tears fell down my face. "Wait."

I froze and after composing myself, I looked back at her conflicted expression. "He's not here."

Nodding, I forced a smile, but even I knew it didn't reach my eyes. "I figured as much. I would think that he wouldn't want to work here all his life. You sort of have to, your dad owns this place."

"No," she said shaking her head. "I mean in New Jersey."

"Oh," was all I could say as I felt a strike of pain run through my body.

Her eyes softened, something I never thought I'd see on Flo's face, before calling behind her shoulder that she was taking a break. I silently walked beside her towards my usual table. A small smile found its way on my face at that fact. She remembered.

"I'm sorry, Elle." I nodded and looked down at my hands.

"I knew it was a long-shot. I never really expected him to wait, you know?"

"He did," she said so quietly that I wasn't sure she'd spoken at all. My head snapped up to stared at her. Flo took in my confused face before sighing and leaning back in her chair. "For a whole year. He waited but you never called, never wrote. I guess he figured you weren't comin' back."

A strangled sob was heard but I wasn't sure if it came from my mouth. I stood abruptly then, and turned to leave but her hand on my arm stopped me. "He gave me something for you when he left. He said he wasn't sure if it'd ever get to your hands, but that if you ever showed up here, no matter if we were both old farts, I'd give it to you." A small, humorless chuckle left my lips at her description. Old farts...we were only twenty-three now.

I guess I was early.

I wiped my cheeks of the few tears that managed to fall down my face, and followed behind her. She went into the office and came back with a small object. It was a key.

"It's for one of the employee lockers. You remember which was his, don't you?" I nodded and after giving me one last pitting look, she left me standing there.

Taking a calming breath, I walked forward until I found the row of employee lockers. There was a bench in the middle, sort of like in a gymnasium changing room. I sat down directly in front of locker number four.

Gathering all my strength, I pushed myself to my feet and inserted the key in the hole, turning it agonizingly slowly until with a creak, the locker door lay open. My fingers, still clothed in my favorite cashmere gloves, touched the smooth surface of the metal and inched close to the edge of the door. They curled inside the ajar door, and with shaking fingers, I swung it aside.

What lay inside had me crumbling. Tears ran down my face as I tried blinking them away so I could see. Every last memory we shared was inside that locker, waiting for me to find it.

This signified that he was done with me, done waiting. Four years ago, according to Flo, he threw our pictures, our love letters, even some of my clothing I'd left in his place inside this locker. My hand reached out and touched the over-sized black shirt he'd gotten me at that Maroon 5 concert we went to so many years ago. The sleeves were cut off to not swallow my petite body, and it fit me long like a shirt-dress.

There was a small box of pictures there, but I couldn't stand to see them. There was also a few presents I had given him, including the Rolex watch I'd gotten him on our two month anniversary. He didn't know what Rolex was, but he knew it must have been expensive and refused to accept it. But after a lot of convincing on my part, he finally agreed to wear it. I remember how happy it made me to see something of mine on his wrist.

Silently, I took everything out and somberly put it into my messenger bag. It wasn't until I picked up one last object, the blanket Max and I used to use to cuddle in 'our spot', that I noticed the off-white envelope that lay at the bottom of the locker.

With shaky hands, I picked it up and read my simple, four-letter name written in his sloppy handwriting. It was strange how Max and I loved each other, but we knew next to nothing about each other. One of those things being my last name.

I closed the door and locked it before walking away. I found Flo behind the counter and went up to her. I placed the key on the counter and gave her a small smile.

"I'm sorry," Flor said. "I always did have a soft spot for you."

I laughed a little at that ridiculous statement. And here I thought she hated me. "Thanks for keeping your promise, Flo."

She nodded and then watched me walk out of her shop. I don't know if I'll ever come back there, but for now, I needed to visit another place. I suppose today I'll allow myself to be weak and walk down memory lane, because tomorrow, I'll smile and never again think about the handsome barista I met at The Brew five years ago.

THE NOSTALGIC feeling in my chest didn't disappear as I walked towards 'our spot'. If anything, it because stronger, nearly suffocating.

My fingers came up to gingerly trace the indentation Max's knife left on the bark.

M + E

It no longer belonged to us. It wasn't our spot anymore. Maybe it was another couple's, and they sat here looking at the bark and wondering who 'M' and 'E' were.

My legs gave out then, and I tumbled to the hard frozen grass. It was still early December and New Jersey hasn't experienced it's first snow fall, but that didn't mean that the low temperature didn't leave the grassy patch as icy as my heart is now.

I pulled out my sketchbook and wrapped the blanket around myself. And I sat there, for God knows how long starring at my sketch of Max's eyes as I leaned against the bark and bared the cool wind alone.

Somehow a pencil made its way to into my hand. I numbly watched as my hands made long, smooth sweeping motions, creating the most beautiful tree I've ever seen.

Below the tree was a young couple, both so full of life and love that it hurt to look at them. He sat against the tree as I was now, with a small girl curled up into his side. A blanket, much too small to really help, covered their lower bodies, as well as their winter jackets.

His arm was wrapped around her shoulder and she stared up at him lovingly as he gently touched her cheek. Above their heads, etched on the bark forever, was their initials.

I stared down at my sketch and nearly cried. But I didn't.

I just cuddled up with the sketch sitting next to me for what seemed like hours.

Suddenly my phone rang and I silently answered, not even bothering to check the caller ID. "Hello?"

"You ungrateful brat," the voice on the line said. A smile made it's way on my face. "You've been in New Jersey for days and you haven't come to see me."

"Sorry Grandmother," I answered sheepishly. "It's been a few crazy days."

"Fine, I'll forgive you. On one condition."

"What's that, Gran?" I said standing.

"How fast can you get to my estate? I'd like to see you and talk."

Taking with me the rest of my things, I walked out of the park and hailed a cab. "I can be there in an hour."

"Very well, Eleanor. I'll have lunch waiting."

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A/N: Okay, I'm guessing that in about two more updates Max'll come home from his business trip! Then Elle & Max will meet again. (: