Lotor's fighter was parked in the middle of the Castle's main, non-lion hangar, right next to the Galra fighter Keith had stolen. So it was rather awkward, at least from Keith's perspective, to watch Lotor work on his fighter—the very one that nearly killed him and his comrades—right beside him. Even while sitting in the Galra fighter's cockpit, Keith couldn't stop himself from turning to watch Lotor.

He'd chased him for months, along with tracking that quintessence supply line. Now that much more "important" things were on the docket, that mission was unnecessary. At least that's what the Marmorans told him when he asked why he had to stay on the Castle ship. Kolivan's order to monitor Lotor had taken him by surprise, although he didn't quite question it. He was a good Marmoran who followed orders, and was going to see this mission to the end.

And yet...

There were several issues on his mind right now, all of which competed for dominance in his thoughts. He wanted to stay on the Castle. He also didn't want to be useless. He wanted to go back to the Blade. He also didn't like how cold everyone was.

He didn't quite have this dilemma before. Before Voltron, he was just some kid at the Garrison; a talented kid who was top of his fighter pilot class, of course. And then he got kicked out after Shiro disappeared. Hearing Pidge's story about her brother and father reminded him about how he reacted when Shiro disappeared. He too insisted that there was no way Shiro could make a fatal error when he was himself a top Garrison graduate. So naturally he was relieved to find Shiro had returned, but also a bit confused. But his stubborn refusal to accept the Garrison's story about the Kerberos Mission wasn't what got him kicked out. No, that was something else.

And then after the Garrison, he was just some loner kid trying to find out what he was going to do next. That was a different dilemma, before he found himself drawn out into the middle of the desert, to that old shack. It was there that, lost in his own confusion, he discovered the Fraunhofer lines and went to work. Since he was alone for most of his life, growing up in Big Spring, Texas, in what was once the heart of the Comancheria. So he drew from those old days, remembering how his dad often talked about how the Comanche lived.

He did know actual Native Americans, and none of them were mystical, nature-connected stereotypes, but actual people. In fact, his pre-Garrison 8th grade homeroom teacher was Comanche himself, and often railed against those stereotypes, because he'd been born and raised in Big Spring, an urban Indian, and because they were just as, if not more dehumanizing than the "savage killer" stereotype of John Wayne movies. He remembered he was also super-stressed all the time, and overheard him complaining about some of the students once. Not him, of course.

He shook his head, remembering what he was supposed to be thinking about. Right. Fraunhofer lines. Wait, where was he going?

Right. Then Shiro crash-landed near the Garrison, near his house, and he ran into Lance, Pidge and Hunk, and... this whole space adventure happened. He never expected to pilot a millennia-old robot cat, face off against a universal tyrant, discover magical/mystical energy sources, discover his true heritage, become a leader and join a millennia-old resistance movement. And nearly died several times over. And suffered a mental breakdown not long after the latest one.

But it felt different this time. He rarely talked to kids at school, preferring to sit alone at lunch or play on the swings. He was really only friendly with Shiro, because unlike other kids, Shiro knew a lot of what Keith was going through, having been raised by his grandparents. And since his own dad split, full of it, debt-ridden after his mother left him, he had no one else but Shiro. It already hurt the first time that he disappeared. The second time nearly threw him into despair. But being all but forced out of the team, by Shiro, hurt considerably, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

But it wasn't just Shiro this time. All those aforementioned adventures helped him bond with the team. And Allura pointed out that they'd become a family.

And so while he assumed that the reason he never quite fit in with the Blade, despite doing his best to become the cold, lonesome assassin persona of the average Blade member. But he was surrounded by multitudes of these experienced assassins, and he was just the rookie. He did his best to fit in, but now he felt that his efforts were futile, all but ejected from the Blade for an important mission. He did appreciate the mission, but as he stared at Lotor, doubt crept into his thoughts. He doubted that Kolivan really appreciated his service to the cause, even though he'd taken his lessons to heart. And he doubted that he could ever be a part of Voltron again.

He also just so happened to look up to find Lotor staring at him. Something about Lotor made him uncomfortable. Or at least there was no way he could trust him. He'd spent several months chasing Lotor around the galaxy, even during his mission. Why did he show up right now of all times? Lotor's story was that his generals betrayed him to save their hides with the Empire, and that he was wanted. He sort of believed that. It made him admit that he was relieved to be back on the castle, so he could monitor him.

And he hated how repetitive his thinking was getting.

He looked over at Lotor again, and was surprised to see Lotor grinning at him. Keith narrowed his eyes, drawing an almost derisive chuckle from Lotor. "Come on, that's no way to thank your savior," he said.

Keith assumed that he was talking about saving the whole resistance, so he said nothing.

"I didn't say anything," Keith replied. "And I don't want to say anything to you."

This did not please Lotor. Frowning, he kept his disapproving gaze on Keith before returning to his own work.

But, he chuckled. "You still do not trust me," he observed. Keith didn't answer. "I shall take that as a 'yes'."

"Pass me that screwdriver-like... thing," Keith continued without so much as looking up from his instrument panel.

"Are you listening to me?"

"What?"

It immediately dawned on Lotor that Keith really was ignoring him. Not that he was entitled to Keith's attention, of course. But the young human intrigued him. Sure, Allura had played him in the Voltron Show, but this was the first time he'd met him. It was also a little evident that although this was the first time they met face-to-face, this might not be their first actual meeting. He tried to think of the possible times they met before, but got nowhere. He tried to think. He heard that Keith was an aggressive fighter who often didn't think ahead—now he remembered.

That first battle with Voltron; the aggressive Black Lion pilot who nearly got himself and his comrades killed.

"Now I remember you," he said. "We've met before."

His announcement seemed to work. Keith stopped what he was doing and looked over at him, his face expressionless. Lotor grinned, though. "You flew the Black Lion, didn't you?"

"Only because Shiro wasn't able to," Keith retorted.

"I heard about that," said Lotor. "I'm glad he's back."

"I know," Keith answered.

"But I didn't see you in the Voltron Show. Where were you?"

"None of your business," Keith replied. His voice was getting close to a growl.

Lotor knew he needed to back off. He was trying to earn their trust, or else his long-term plan wasn't going to work.

"My apologies," he replied.

Keith looked up and glared at Lotor. "My mission is to make sure you stay out of trouble."

"Your 'mission',"Lotor said, not quite as a question, but just as much a sort of mocking statement. "You sound like the perfect Blade member, like the one who almost killed himself—" Lotor stopped and raised his head up while keeping his gaze on Keith. It made Keith even more uncomfortable. "That was you, wasn't it? You were about to save the Day in a fiery explosion. Too bad your sacrifice would have been in vain."

"SHUT UP!"

Lotor raised his hands. "I apologize. It must have been a very emotional moment."

Keith narrowed his eyes to glare at Lotor. But as Lotor had correctly concluded, he wasn't going to leave Lotor alone for a minute. With no other option, he remained in the fighter, continuing to work on it without speaking to Lotor. This was fine, he told himself, it was a mission.

But he was also finished with the work he had to do on his fighter, but, Lotor wasn't done working on his. As badly as he wanted to go to the training deck, where he hadn't been in months, the only way he'd ever feel comfortable with Lotor on the ship would be if he were still locked up in the brig. Lotor was dangerous. Keith sat down on a box near Lotor's fighter and began cleaning off his ceremonial Marmora blade; the one that got this whole mess started in the first place. He had to remind himself not to let the knife distract him, so he looked up at Lotor still sitting in his cockpit, adjusting the instruments.

"Would you like to be my co-pilot?" Lotor asked. "I could use a gunner."

Keith didn't treat his question as a surprise. Lotor was obviously trying to make small talk. "I'll think about it," he replied.

"Suit yourself," Lotor shrugged.

Keith heard the door slam open. Turning around, he could see Coran walking in, followed by Lance. Keith could tell that Lance was in a bad mood just from his posture; hunched over with his hands in his pockets and stiffly walking behind Coran's perfect posture. It was hard to tell if Coran knew Lance was in a rotten mood, but Keith knew almost for certain that Coran knew Lance was in a bad mood, and didn't care a bit. Keith didn't care, either. He went back to cleaning his blade off like it was filthy.

"How's everything going, gentlemen?" Coran cheerfully asked. No one answered. "I see things are going well."

"Come on, Coran," Lance interjected. "No one cares. Especially not Keith. He's a Marmoran now."

Keith turned and glared at Lance. Coran stepped between both of them. "Now, now, let's not get testy, here," Coran scolded. "I just wanted to see how everyone's doing."

"At least I don't have to do the Voltron Show," said Keith.

"I said not to start anything," said Coran. "Besides, we're here to relieve Keith of his guard for today."

"You want me to do it?" Lance asked.

"No, we're just taking Lotor back to his cell," Coran answered.

Keith was visibly relieved, much to Lotor's unhappiness.

"Are you absolutely positive that you need to watch me every single tick of the quintant?" Lotor asked as Coran handcuffed him. "I'm incredibly outgunned. You have Voltron. I just have one fighter. You have an entire coalition, a network of underground resistance groups, and the Blade of Marmora at your disposal."

"You have a mouth," said Lance. Keith sniggered. Even he had to find that funny—and he didn't find Lance funny at all.

Keith's sniggering caught Lance's attention. Before all this, Lance would be thrilled to see Keith actually laughing at his jokes, but not this time. This time it looked like he was furious to actually see him, which he found to be more unnerving than he expected for this situation.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

"Because of the operation on Naxzela, we unfortunately have lost the trail on the quintessence supply line," Kolivan told Princess Allura, Coran and Shiro. "Such is the risk of course, but this is a bad setback for the resistance."

"I understand," Allura said to the big holographic screen showing Kolivan. "I'm sorry."

"I already said that this is a risk we run," said Kolivan. "I will not hold it against you. In the meantime, we intend to continue our normal operations. We also have operatives inside the Empire's military, so we should be able to gather information on the possible counterattack."

"Will you be needing Keith?" Shiro asked. He briefly looked to see Allura subtly flinch at his question.

"Not right now," Kolivan answered. "If we need him, we can call him."

"Thank you," said Shiro.

"Thank you for the update," said Allura. Kolivan's image turned off the big screen. Allura sighed, oblivious to Shiro's staring at her.

"Are you alright, Princess?" He asked.

"I'm a bit stressed, but otherwise fine," she answered.

"I saw you get upset when I asked about Keith," Shiro continued. "Don't you think it's good that he gets to do something?"

"Coran, do we have any other updates?" Allura asked.

"Not really," he answered. "We're done with the Voltron Show, so nothing on that end."

"Thank you, Coran," Allura sighed.

"Princess, why did you ignore me?" Shiro asked.

"Shiro, have you spoken to Keith since he returned?" Coran asked.

"Besides when he returned? I haven't. I haven't seen him except when I've given him things to do."

"You should talk to him," said Coran. "He's your brother, right?"

"Not really," Shiro answered. "More like a brother figure."

"Good enough."

"What Coran is saying is, you should talk to him," said Allura. "I think he just needs you to be there for him."

Shiro immediately felt guilty for not being there for Keith. He'd actually felt guilty for letting Keith leave for the Blade of Marmora, and he should have done more to convince him to stay with Voltron. But it was Keith's decision, and Shiro respected that, considering that Keith would not change his mind on the subject. He wanted Keith to lead, and it felt wrong to take the Black Lion back after Keith had done so much to bond with Black. He considered offering Keith a chance to take Black back if he was interested, but since Coran and Allura wanted him to talk to Keith, it would have to wait. Forcing Keith into taking Black (but not by choice) had backfired. He knew Keith had amazing leadership potential. He'd seen it often when he was Keith's instructor at the Garrison, and saw flashes of it early on with Voltron. But Keith had his own issues. And they weren't going to go away easily.

"Sounds like a plan," said Shiro. "Do you know where he is?"

"I think he went back to the kitchen after I escorted Lotor back to his cell," said Coran.

"I guess I'll see if he's still there," Shiro said before leaving the bridge. As he watched him depart, Coran heard Allura loudly sigh in relief.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Keith didn't know how much he missed the green goo. And if there was one thing from the Blade that he wouldn't miss, it would be the food. In fact, to call it 'food' would be insulting to food. And to call it inedible would be insulting to rocks. He'd already thought that the Garrison made terrible food (no wonder Hunk was such a good cook, he had to eat that stuff!), but the Blade's "food" made the Garrison's slop look edible. He wouldn't insult that stuff anymore. He also mentally apologized to his dad. Before he'd abandoned him (which was still very unforgivable), he'd done his best to make dinner for Keith. It wasn't very good, but it did get better. And then his dad abandoned him.

Keith cursed himself for making himself remember that.

He sat on a counter, watching Hunk making some cake. "I'll bet you missed this stuff," Hunk said.

"Absolutely," Keith chuckled.

"Lemme guess, the food was barely edible," Hunk continued.

"Very."

"Good thing you're back, buddy." Hunk returned to his food preparation, and telling the story of the mission leading up to the Battle of Naxzela. "So anyway, these robots are coming up to Pidge, and she didn't have time to beat them, so I was all like, POW! PEOPLE'S ELBOW!" He brought his elbow down on an invisible opponent, just like he did then. "Now I wish I was all 'IF YA SMEEEEEELLLLLLLALALALALA WHAT THE HUNK! IS! COOKIN'!' man, that would've been AWESOME!"

"Wish I could've seen it," said Keith. "Wish I could've seen the Voltron Show more."

"Yeah, I guess everyone's told ya about that by now," Hunk said, waving his hand. "So what was the Blade like, anyway?"

Keith's mood immediately soured. Having learned his lesson from a previous awkward moment, Hunk immediately tried to backtrack. "I-I-I-I mean, if you don't wanna talk about it, that's fine! I don't wanna like, make you feel bad or anything!"

"Thanks, Hunk," Keith said with a sad smile.

"So, uh, Lotor—kinda surprised he showed up. Yeah, really surprised."

"Yeah," Keith said, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, that's why you're here, I guess." Hunk's voice turned downcast. "I guess you could bond over your Galra-ness—"

"HUNK."

"RIGHT! Sorry! Didn't mean it! Not all Galra, right?"

"Hunk, quit diggin' yourself deeper."

"Okay, okay. But, you're happy to see him, right?"

"No."

"No?"

"No, I'm not. I don't care that he saved us. Something's up."

"Oh... of course. Sorry!"

"Keith!"

Keith was relieved to hear Shiro in more than one way. Yes, he hadn't talked to Shiro in a while, but this conversation with Hunk was getting a bit too awkward for his comfort. Jumping off the counter, he turned around to face the oncoming Shiro, to Hunk's disappointment. The big guy didn't walk out of the room, though. He just went on with cake prep.

"How are you feeling, Keith?" Shiro asked as he walked up to him.

"I'm feeling... a little better," Keith answered.

"That's good. I've been kind of worried about you, ever since I heard about what you almost did."

"I had to do it," Keith insisted.

"But you almost killed yourself," said Shiro. He looked ready to blow at Keith. But then he took a deep breath, sighed and calmed down. "BUT, I'm glad you're alright."

"Thanks," said Keith. He was also ready to blow up. But he also calmed down. Hunk was the most relieved person here.

"I don't know what I would do to myself if I found out you killed yourself. If there's anything you need, don't be afraid to tell me. And... I'm sorry for forcing you out of Voltron."

"It's okay," said Keith. "I'll lay down my life if it sets us free."

"It's alright you want to fight, you've got a hunger," said Shiro, "Head full of fantasies of dying like a martyr. I was just like you when I was younger.

"But listen when I say this; Dying is easy. But living's harder."

"So I shouldn't have done anything!?" Keith asked, his voice starting to rise.

"That's not it," Shiro answered. "We need you alive. I need you alive. I already know you have great leadership potential. And I'm sorry we didn't give you enough of a chance to grow as one. If-and-or whenever you're ready, you can fly the Black Lion again."

"I'll find something else to do," said Keith.

"That's alright," said Shiro. He patted Keith's shoulder. Keith wanted to tell him about the zombie world dream, and that he re-bonded with Black. But, he got nervous when he tried to build up the courage to do so, so the question died in the back of his mouth. "How about you get a milkshake?"

"That sounds good," said Keith.

Shiro smiled, turned and left. Keith sighed and leaned against the counter when he felt Hunk leaning into his ear. He almost jumped when he felt Hunk's breath tickle his ears. "By the way, Lance thinks Shiro's been acting a bit off lately," Hunk whispered.

"Wait what?! That doesn't make any sense," Keith grumbled.

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Okay, so... I deeply and sincerely apologize for how long this took me to write and