Not only is it Jahs birthday today, it's also my uncles birthday who passed away a few years ago. I love and miss them both with all my heart. Today has been so fucking painful.
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I'm so lazy. I've literally been sitting around my room majority of the day. Well it's only two in the afternoon right now. Jahseh has been out all day with Craig and Tank and I think Steven and Trunks.

I put my phone down as I was about to get up to change into shorts, but I heard my phone ding a few times so I grabbed it again and saw Faith texted me.

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Faith: Stas wyd rn?
Faith: can you talk?
Faith: im kinda worried bout someone

Me: yeah what's wrong girl who are you worried bout

Faith: Ki
Faith: ik you guys aren't friends anymore but I am and I'm worried he's not okay

Me: you're scaring me what's wrong

Faith: do you see any of the things he's been posting? like twitter or snap or insta

Me: I don't look at Snapchat stories that much
Me: I'm also on twitter and I never see him tweet
Me: and he unfollowed me on insta so I unfollowed him back

Faith: ima send you some things and ima send you the last convo with me and him

Me: okay

Faith:

Faith: now here's what he's been posting
Faith:

Faith: he's not really talking to anyone

Me: I wish I knew how bad he's been. I don't want him to feel like that. is he talking to Omar?

Faith: no

Me: damn wtf this is terrible
Me: should I try to call him or text him? just ask how he's doing and not even bring up anything he's posting

Faith: yeah I think you should talk to him. maybe go see him

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(A/N: the text pic is obviously fake, but the post on insta, Twitter, and snap are real)

I wish Ki wasn't feeling the way he is. I want to reach out to him, but what if I some how make things worse. Maybe I should just go talk to his mom and just see what she says. I think that's what I'll do.

It's been a few days since I had that conversation with Faith at the club about her relationship with Purpp. Since the talk I convinced her to tell him how she feels which she did and now she feels a lot better about it. I'm happy about that because I can tell she likes him a lot. I would hate to see her get heartbroken.

"Stas! Stas!" I heard Stokeley yell from what sounds like down stairs. I stood up quickly hearing his worried tone. "Stas!" He yelled again. I ran out of my room.

"What?" I asked getting to the stairs and started to walk down. I saw him standing at the bottom. "What's wrong?" I asked as I got down there. I saw Trunks, Coolie, and Isaiah down here too.

"Jahseh got arrested-" I instantly cut Stokeley off.

"Are you serious?" I asked getting worried. "For what?" I added.

"They're putting him in prison!" Stokeley said loudly. My eyes widened even more.

"Prison? W-what?" Jahs never been to prison. Only jail. He can't go. What the fuck?

"You'll never get to see him in prison" Coolie said to me. Something doesn't feel right with what they are saying. Why aren't they telling me what happened? And why should I not be able to see him?

"What the fuck happened?" I asked getting scared. Then Coolie smiled a little.

"Danny this isn't funny" I snapped at him. His eyes widened a little bit.

"This is fucked up" Trunks said shaking his head. I saw he started to smile a little too so he turned around. They can't be serious right now.

"Boo!" I heard loudly behind me and two hands grip onto my shoulder hard. I screamed considering I just got scared. Everyone was laughing hysterically and I turned around to see Jahseh standing there cracking up as well. My jaw dropped.

"Fuck all of you!" I yelled at them and crossed my arms.

"I'm sorry baby" Jahseh said laughing and tried to hug me. I stepped back.

"That wasn't funny! I was terrified!" I said back pouting. He quickly wrapped his arms around my body tightly and I didn't move my arms. I just stared up at him as he smiled down at me.

"It was very funny" he said then kissed me quickly. I sighed in relieve of him not actually being arrested. I would be so upset.

"Sorry Stas. That was just great though" Stokeley said making me look over at him. I gave him the finger. Jahseh let go of me and I gave the both of them the finger.

"Ming I saw you trying not to smile!" I yelled at Trunks and gave him the finger too.

"She using everyone's first name. My god yo" Jahseh said laughing again.

"I knew not to say shit because Stas would beat my mother fucking ass in my sleep" Isaiah said making us all laugh. I nodded agreeing. I felt Jahsehs arm go around my shoulder.

"Sorry bubba" He said before kissing the side of my head. I looked up at him and smiled a little.

***

Today I decided I'm going to go to Kis moms house and just catch up with her and see if she says anything about what's going on with him. I'm worried honestly. I want to talk to her about it.

Even though we aren't talking, I still care for him and I want him to be okay. All those tweets and posts are so sad. I can tell how hurt he is by life. I sighed turning into Kis mom street as I remembered the last time I was over here was two weeks ago when I got into that fight with him. Shit was not okay.

But again, I saw his car out side. He's here... Should I just go home? Or is seeing me going to help him at all? Or make things worse? I should just go in like I planned.

As I slowly drove up to the house, I looked at the house and saw Ki sitting outside with his face covered by his hands. After parking, I turned the car off and started to walk towards the house. I hope I'm not making the wrong decision again. As I started to walk on the concrete walkway to his house, he looked up quickly since he heard me. His cheeks and eyes are all red from obviously crying. He looked kinda confused to see me, but I can just see how upset he is in general.

"Ki what's wrong?" I asked worriedly as I sat down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm not fucking happy. I try so hard to be. I try to be the best I can. But I'm just so damn depressed" he told me as he covered his face again. I sighed and rubbed his back a little trying to comfort him and put my other hand on his arm.

"It's hard to be happy when you're not, I know. Just breathe okay? Just take deep breaths" I said to him. He looked up at me and just by looking in his eyes, I could see how much pain he's in.

"I can't do this shit no more. I'm never fucking happy. Everybody uses me for money and comes to me for it because they know I got a big heart. Nobody truly cares for me. I have way more bad days than good. I just wish my day would come already" he said making my heart break a little. It's so hard to see him like this. I quickly grabbed his face.

"Don't say that, Ki. Please. Listen I know it's hard. Trust me I do, but I love you. You have me, your family, your wonderful supporters. I know I haven't been a good friend the past month, but my love for you will never go away. You will always be my best friend. You will always have me. No matter what. Same with your family and fans. It will get better. I promise you, Kimetrius. I'm going to help you like you helped me" I told him.

He seemed to take it in as he just stared back at me. I wiped his tears with my thumbs then pulled my hands away and wrapped my arms around him tightly. His face went into the crook of my neck and I felt him continue to cry a little. He held onto me tightly. I'm sure he's been holding this in for the longest time.

"I love you so much. You're my best friend for life, Bunny. For fucking life. I'm sorry I let you down" he said back to me.

"You never let me down" I leaned my head against his and shut my eyes.

I wish it wasn't like this. I know how he's feeling and it's the worse thing in the entire world. I was so extremely depression last year. He helped me as much as he can, along with Faith.

Then I met Jahseh, who healed me. Jah helped me so damn much. He helped me to be happy again and helped me learn to trust again. He helped me fall in love. Real love.

I put my hand on Kis head and just hugged him tighter. I've never seen him like this. It's terrible. He slowly lifted his head back up and wiped his face.

"When I said that if you can't handle me being in love with you then to stop talking to-" I cut him off.

"Ki we don't need to talk about this right now. It's okay. I-" but he cut me off.

"No. When I said that, I only said it so you would stop talking to me. I know I fucked up our friend ship-"

"No-"

"Please just listen. I know I fucked it up. I just didn't want any more problems in your life so I figured I'd make you want nothing to do with me. Make you hate me. So when I was being so rude, yes I was so mad, but I also just was pushing you away. I'm sorry for being a dick to you. I just want my best friend back. That's all" he explained to me. I nodded.

"You never lost your best friend. I've been here the whole time" I said then laid my head on his shoulder and continued to hug him tightly. "I promise" I said quietly. I felt him kiss the top of my head then leaned his head against mine.