just wanted to dedicate this to @portkey for the lovely cover and all u patient lovely people x

Chapter Thirty-Six

“What time is it?”

             I roll around, reaching for my phone or clock or something. My head is pounding and my feet feel like I’ve walked on hot lava for ten hours straight. Heels are so stupid but oh-so-glamorous. Not to mention every part of my body seems to be aching. It doesn’t seem right. I didn’t even dance that hard at prom.

            My hand connects to a face. Lee’s face.

            I snap my head up from the pillow.

            Oh.

            Now that my face isn’t squashed into the inner depths of a pillow, I can see more clearly now (the rain is gone, ha ha). The sunlight is gentle through my white blinds and it falls just in the right away on Lee’s face. His mouth is open, his eyes closed, his limbs tangled with mine. His bare arm is around my neck and his head in my mess of hair. And naked. Let’s not forget that.

            The window is open and a soft breeze dances its way through my room, sending pieces of Lee’s hair flying and sending goosebumps up my bare thigh.

            How in the world did I go from small-town-liar to in-bed-with-this-guy?

            I tilt my head up over his arm to see my room and it’s a chaotic mess. His clothes are strewn along the floor, his coat hanging on the door handle. I don’t even see my clothes and they’re definitely not on my body. My desk is bare, all things that were on top of it now on the ground. Posters are ripped. All blankets but one are on the bed.

            Jesus freaking Christ. I look over everything and retrace my steps with my memory. Only, my face reaches a trillion degrees as I remember. I chew the insides of my cheek to keep from screaming of what happened.

            “We should talk first, oh my god, what are we doing?” I had said, pinning him to the back of the front door once we were inside. I kissed him aggressively on the lips.

            He pulled away and grinned. “Doesn’t sound like you want to talk.”

            “We,” I kissed him and took a breath before kissing again, “we should.”

            And then somehow we were on the stairs. “If you want to talk before we do anything, we can.” He held my face between his hands like I was the last life source on earth. His eyes moved rapidly from my eyes to my lips, searching for an answer.

            “Yeah, that’s a good idea,” I admitted. He licked his lips and started backing up away from me. I grabbed him by the collar. “Or we could talk after.” Lips on lips again.

            “Ivory,” he mumbled, trying to pull away. He took a breath, his cheeks red from all this activity. “We don’t have to, really. If you want to talk, we can do it later. We have all the time in the world. I could take you somewhere nice and make it all special and we could—”

            I kissed him softly, so soft that it barely felt like I was kissing him. “How did that feel? How does it feel when I kiss you?”

            He tried taking a breath. “G-Great. Amazing. Alive. Like I’m on fire.”

            “Good.” I tugged the hem of his coat and pulled him closer. “When you kiss me, it makes me feel special. And all I need is that feeling. I don’t need a special place. You are my special place.”

            That did it because after that, Lee wasn’t holding back. Hands under my shirt, on my skin. His lips on the landscape of my body, lighting a trail of cold fire after. Ironically, when he kissed me it felt like fire but it was a chilling kind of burn. I got goosebumps every time he said, whispered, shouted my name. I don’t remember the specifics but I remember falling and tripping over things and kissing and his hands. And it was fucking spectacular.

            Lee stirs next to me. His fingers skim down from my shoulder to my waist and he pulls me closer to him under the one too-thin blanket. “So bright,” he mumbles.

            I peek at him. “Yep, it’s pretty bright. It’s called the sun.”

            His left eye pops open. “You and that mouth of yours. Even at five in the morning.”

            “What’re you going to do about it?”

            Lee closes his eye and a grin infects his face, slow and lazy. He pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. “That’s what I’m gonna do about it.”

            I nuzzle my nose into his chest. “How boring.”

            “Boring?”

            “Yeah, no good morning passionate kiss, nothing. Next thing I know, you’ll be knitting me a sweater,” I say. I drag a finger and trace where his heart is. Being so physically close to someone is a new concept to me. It’s very…fascinating.

        “Ivory,” he says and the tone scares me. It sounds like he’s going to get a bucket of ice cold water and splash it on me before running away and laughing. He shoots up and then he’s on all four on top of me. “How dare you say—even think—of the word ‘boring’ after last night?” His smirky grin makes me want to shoot myself.

        I gulp but nonchalantly shrug. “Wasn’t that good really.”    

        “Forget good. I’ll show you great, baby.”

The sun shines strongly, noon probably, after we finish. I still have no clue around what time it might be but being in a cocoon of Lee’s arms makes me want to forget everything I need to worry about. Another breeze shifts around my room and I bring my legs up and scoot closer to Lee even though I’m too close already.

            “We should probably get up,” I say to his chest. The only bad part of snuggling with Lee is that he’s too tall and all I see is his chest. I mean, his chest is fine—really fine—but I wish I could see his face. But then he would barely get to talk because I’d be attacking it.

            “Probably.” He rests his cheek on my forehead.

            “We’re missing the best part of a Saturday!” Every time I talk, my lips brush his chest. It’s all very torturesome.

            “And how is the best part not both of us lying here together with our bodies as one and our veins full of love and life and laughter with—”

        “Okay, Shakespeare, we’ll stay here a minute longer.” I kiss his chest.

        “Thank you, Juliet.” I can almost feel him grinning. “So what is it?”

        “What is what?”

        “Your favorite part of a Saturday.”

        “Oh, that,” I say. I bring my arm around his torso and snuggle closer. I don’t know why I keep trying to get closer to him. We are already intimate as possible, both mentally and physically. “Waking up late, watching morning cartoons—they have re-runs on Saturdays—eating an unhealthy breakfast, and then doing nothing for the rest of the day.”

        “We’re doing nothing right now.”

        “I thought you said we were being one with the wind and our bodies were vines wrapped around each other and—”

        “Okay, I get it, I get it. No more poetry.” He moves up and around so he’s sitting up, his bare back to the wall near our heads. Lee grabs my hand and pulls me between his knees. The blanket slips off of my body and it’s suddenly colder than I had expected. I mean it was summer now basically and yet I felt my spine tingle with a chill.

        I bring the blanket back up to my shoulder but Lee stops me, sliding the blanket back down. “No, wait.” He slips the blanket slowly down my arm as I get more and more exposed. His eyes never leave my body. “Wow,” he breathes, his eyes lighting up like a kid on Christmas.

        Taking it from his grip, I pull the blanket back up. “That’s enough, perv.”

        He tries pulling it back down. “Nooo, wait.”

            “You had your time.”

            “But—but, you’re beautiful and you shouldn’t hide your inner beauty—”

        “Save it, Shakespeare. I love my body but I am not going to let you just stare at me for fifteen minutes straight. I feel like something in an exhibit,” I say, throwing the blanket back around me. “Human rights!”

        His eyes travel back up to my eyes and then my lips. Back to my eyes. He breaks out a big grin. “God, you are so—”

        “Amazing? Sweet? Good in bed? A badass bitch? I know.” I pretend to fluff my hair.

        Lee’s grin gets wider and then he jumps and lunges at me. Literally. I fall back and we land on the other end of the bed together. His arms cage around me and he’s on his knees between my legs. “You’re so cocky.” Lee starts kissing my lips and then my nose and then my cheeks and all over my face. “And perfect. So perfect.” His teeth graze my neck. “Confidence is so sexy.”

        I try not to explode into a million pieces. Words, they’re just words. Calming myself down is harder than usual. Well, Lee Richardson is naked and kissing me. Anyone would be hyperventilating on the inside.

            He brings his head up from my neck and grins big at me. “Can we go for another round, please?” Golden-retriever-slash-homeless-cat Lee Richardson is asking me for another round. I might as well jump out the window. This boy has the stamina of a damn horse!

            “No!” I almost shout. “Too much in one morning—hell, too much for twenty four hours, too much for a whole damn week!”

        His face deflates and his lower lip juts out. “Fine.” He gets on his back next to me and then we both rest flat on the bed and look at the ceiling. Both our breathing goes from erratic to calm until we both sound like we have enough oxygen to last. “Guess what?” he asks.

        “What?” I was in the middle of counting the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. I remember being insanely obsessed with astronomy at one point in my life. I had even begged—well, more like threw a tantrum—to get my room all set up like a solar system, including bedsheets with astronauts on them.  

        “I love you.” I feel his hand slip into mine and squeeze. My stomach stills but then I remember to breathe and I let it resume its stomach activity.

        We both keep our heads up, staring the ceiling but I squeeze his hand back and reply, “I love you, too.”

        “This is nice.”

        “It is.”

        “Are you sure we can’t have another round?”

        I roll my eyes. I get up and climb over so I’m sitting on him. His eyes widen and he tries to use his elbows to get up. I push his chest down. “Stay down, doggie,” I say. “I swear you’re too enthusiastic after all this.”

            Another grin lights his glowing face. If he could be a dog, he’d basically be wagging his tail back and forth and slobbering all over the bed. “Hey, didn’t you say something about human rights? It’s my right!”

            “Of course, it is,” I say. I lean down and kiss the spot over his heart. “Speaking of favorite things, this might be my favorite place. It’s very cliche but it is.”

            I thought his grin couldn’t get any wider but it does. It’s like standing in front of the sun. On a Monday morning. Too bright and chirpy. “You have a favorite spot on my body?” He licks his lips. “I have a favorite spot on yours. Can I show you?” He starts moving to get up again.

            “Woah there, horsy,” I say, pushing him back down. “Why don’t you just sit still for a while?”

            He pouts, crossing his arms, but he rests on his back again. “Fine.”

            I smile and then use my index finger to trail from his heart to his stomach. Lee shakes a little and it makes me want to flash a blinding-sun-grin too. “Still,” I command.

            “Impossible at the moment,” he replies, his voice soft. His eyes stare intently at mine and it’s all very nerve wracking so I look away. You know, those stares that just seem to be looking at every piece and secret inside of you. I don’t think anyone can keep themselves normal under that stare.

            “Actually,” I say, “I take back what I said earlier. I think my favorite stop on your highway of a body is here.” I tap the space above his hip bone before circling my finger.

            He sucks in air through his teeth. “Oh.”

            “It has your father’s name on it,” I explain. It’s true. Just above his right leg, on the lower part of his stomach in the most beautiful cursive is the name John, Lee’s father’s name. The fact that he has a tattoo of his father’s name where nobody can see it, hidden away under layers of what people see of him, makes me want to kiss him all over. So I do. I get up and adjust before softly pressing my lips to the tattoo.

            “HOLY—” Lee is saying, shooting up and already stretching his fingers and hands to touch me. But I’m fast.

        I jump off the bed and race out of the room. “Time to get up!”

        He groans and I hear him rest his head back on the bed in defeat. “You cheater!” he yells and I hear him from the bathroom.  

        For breakfast, (unfortunately) I get plain old cornflake cereal and Lee and I sit together on the couch, watching The Carrie Diaries. Lee has one arm on the back of the couch and the other holding a spoon, frequently getting a spoonful of cereal from my bowl. He said he wasn’t hungry and yet here he is, taking my breakfast.

        I wince as I pull my tangled hair in a bun. “Austin Butler is so gorgeous.”

        He grabs another scoop of cereal and mumbles, “Who?”

        I rip the spoon away from him and chomp on some cereal. I point the spoon to the screen where Austin Butler, who plays Sebastian, is talking. “Him.”

        Lee makes a face. “I don’t know. I think I can beat him in the looks department.”

            “Yeah, right,” I scoff. “Austin Butler is like…Jesus.”

        He frowns. “I thought I was Jesus!”

        “I thought you said you were Lee.”

        “Well, I can be both!”

        I grin, taking another bite of cereal. Is he really arguing he’s Jesus at the moment? I snuggle closer and we continue to watch television. Doing something so simple with him is nice since most of the time our lives are chaotic and all over the place. Just eating breakfast in silence is great.

             But something is itching at me. It’s almost too quiet and peaceful. I sigh, knowing I’ll have to tell him about Penny soon. I just don’t know what to say or do anymore. Maybe it can wait until after graduation. Yeah, it’s not like she’s going to get un-pregnant by then. And maybe I’ll get more time with Lee before he has to leave me and go do what Lee Richardson has to do. He has to be responsible and live up to the expectations as the head of his company and he certainly can’t abandon his rumoured-to-be-fiance’s baby. It would ruin him and his name and I would never want that. Even if it means time apart. A life apart.

        “Hey,” Lee says softly, kissing my shoulder. I had slipped on his shirt, because that’s what you’re supposed to do when you sleep with someone, but somehow it intensifies his innocent kiss. “What’re you thinking about?”

        I look at my shoulder, where he has rested his chin. “What do you mean?”

        “You’ve been staring at that cereal bowl for a good five minutes now and you haven’t even tried fighting me off as I eat almost all of it,” he explains. He reaches for the bowl and sets it aside on the table before coming back and resting on my shoulder. “Is everything alright?”

        “Yeah, why?” My voice is getting quiet.

        “You’re crying.”

        “Huh?”

        Lee gently places his right hand on my face and wipes away apparently a tear and then takes my face in both his hands. “You okay?”

        I nod, wiping away at my eyes. “It’s just…Austin Butler is so hot.”

        A grin appears on his face and he laughs. He puts a hand to my back and pulls me closer to him. I curl up against him and rest my head on his shoulder now. He says, “I don’t know why you’re really crying but I’m sure even if I tried helping, I’d make it worse. Being sad sucks. I’ll just hold you, is that okay?”

        “Yes.”

When graduation rolls around, it's loud and amazing. Our gowns are blue so the entire football field looks like a sea of people—literally. Parents snap pictures and cheer from the stands when their child is called up. Whenever I hear or see them, it feels like someone is wrapping a hand around my heart and giving it a squeeze. Mom still hasn’t woken up. She’s missed prom and now graduation. I grip the edge of my chair to keep from crying or looking like this isn’t one of the most memorable days of my life. But it’s okay. This is my graduation and Brent and Lee are here in the stands. At least I have them.

        “Miss Ivory Flores!”

        I get up and climb up the stairs to the platform they’ve built on the field. Principal Appleton and a bunch of teachers are on the stage. She’s holding a diploma for me already.

        “Congratulations,” she says to me and gives me a firm shake of the hand. Her voice drops to a whisper, “Your mother will be fine, Ivory. Do not worry.”

        I nod and smile. It’s all I can do. And then I’m off the stage and someone else is on it.

        Afterwards, Candy and I meet up and she hugs me tightly. She’s jumping up and down and I join her because Candy’s very influential like that. “We’re done!” she exclaims.

        “Yes!” I say, jumping and hugging along with her and our diplomas in our hands.

        “Now we’re officially college students!” She pulls away. “Oh my god, there’s Brent!”

        I turn around and see my brother. He’s in the most formal outfit he can probably pull off—dark jeans and a button up shirt. It’s not that great but I guess Candy doesn’t care because she runs into his arms. He picks her up and twirls her around as he laughs. Now it’s starting to get gross. My brother being affectionate is weird.

        I look away before they start making out. That’s when I see Peter running up to me. It’s hilarious because his gown is flying all over the place and his cap is slipping from his head. “Ivory!” he says.

        “Hi,” I say once he’s close.

        “Congratulations!”

        I grin, shaking my diploma. “Thanks! You too.”

        Peter stands and plays with his fingers. His eyes travel to my face before looking away and he starts blinking rapidly. He seems still nervous around me but I've already forgiven him. He needs to start accepting that and moving on. “Uh, me and some friends are going to go get some lunch in a few, you wanna come?”

        “Oh, really? I think I—”

        A hand slips onto the curve of my waist and cologne and peppermint fill my senses. Lee stands next to me in a gray suit and blue tie. Always in a suit.

        “Lee, hey,” I say, looking up at him. He has shaved and his hair is gelled up. I can see the outline of a peppermint candy in his cheek and he’s moving it back and forth from cheek to cheek. He looks pissed. I should tell him Peter and I are cool now.

        He looks down at me and his face breaks into a grin unlike his previous expression. “Hi, love. Congratulations!” Lee kisses me on the top of the head and pulls me closer.

        “Thank you.”

        “And this is…Patrick?” He even throws in a fake confused look.

        “Peter,” I correct. Well played, Lee, well played.

        Lee flashes a smile at Peter and stretches out his right