SKY

I sent him one more glance while walking away from the library, seeing him sit back down on the chair and watching his phone.

The sun was beautiful out, on the verge of setting. I figured it would be perfect to go to the beach and have a swim.

As I was opening the exit doors, a voice called my last name. It wasn't even my last name, it was my step-father's, but I somehow turned around.

"What are you doing?" The cheer Coach asked me, looking angry and happy at the same time.

"Going home?"

"But you made the team!" She laughed.

"I don't think it's for me." I shrugged and opened up the doors.

"We could really use you, Sky." She obliged, making me stop in my tracks. "From what I've heard, you can do more than the girls on the team."

"You know who you could use? That Kayla girl she cut. She was great." I suggested, hugging my books close to me.

"If I bring her in, will you join it?" Coach asked me.

"If I don't join, will you still take her in?" I cringed.

"No." She shook her head. "Her fate on this team is in your hands."

I sighed and knew that I would never forgive myself if I was responsible for that amazing girl who trained so hard to be on this team, not being on the team.

"Fine."

Coach jumped up a few times, her thin blonde ponytail swinging at the same time.

"Here you are." She handed me my cheerleading uniform, as well as a white tracksuit made with velvet fabric.

I stared at it, not realizing that joining the team was both going to be the best and worst thing for me.

* * *

When I changed out of my school clothes and into Elena's sports clothes from this morning and walked out of the gym, I was welcomed by a mean glare from Angela and her posse but welcomed by a warm smile from Elena.

I knew that I said that I wanted to avoid friends at all costs, but Elena looked like someone I would really like to be friends with.

I sat down beside her and avoided all the smiles and stares I was getting from everyone around me.

"I'm so glad you're here." Elena whispered next to me, smiling from ear to ear.

"I guess I am too. I think she's going to let Kayla in as well." I whispered back.

"Aw, that's good." Elena elbowed my arms lightly.

I nodded then we put all of our attention on the coach, who was just welcoming the five new girls on the team. It was all background noise to me because I was thinking about back home. . . and randomly started thinking about Alexander.

"Sky." Coach called out to me. "Why don't you show us again that trick you did during tryouts."

I looked behind me, hoping perhaps that there was another girl named Sky who did five backhand springs and a round off 360.

"Yes you!" Coach laughed. "Come on, show us."

So much for blending in the shadows.

The rest of practice went just like that; me showing the girls all of my tricks and teaching them how to do them.

It was already past 7 when practice finished, and I just wanted to go home and stuff my face with whatever my mom made.

"Good practice today." Elena said, picking up her gym bag.

I smiled at her before waving her off and started to change. While I pulled down my shorts and lifted my camisole above my head, I heard the changing room door open.

Angela and her annoying friend who's name I didn't even know appeared in front of me, eyeing my half naked body up and down.

I ignored their snickers and quickly got dressed before using the bathroom in here.

"I can't stand her, oh my god." I heard Angela exclaim. I stayed quiet, listening in. They must've thought I had left.

"They just put her at the front because they want to show more diversity." She continued.

Listening in, it surprised me how much her words hurt me. Angela's words were a different kind of attack I was used to. I didn't know why she had it out for me, but I could yell it was probably to do with the fact she wanted all of the attention. I would gladly give it to her if that came in the way of her happiness, and left me alone at the same time.

I rushed out of there as fast and as quietly as I could, trying to push my tears away. My gut kept on telling me all day to just do everything i could to not stand out, and today I did they exactly opposite.

I reached my mom's car and got in there, trying to hide my sadness but it obviously didn't work because she asked. "Are you okay, Sky?"

I stayed quiet and looked out the window. The bullying. The horrible words from the students of my old school, this is exactly what I was afraid of. I guess changing schools really didn't help. People weren't different.

I got home and went straight to bed. Memories of my horrifying moments at my old school just came back, and I could help but cry. The words, the beatings, the harassment I got were just stuck deep inside of me. Angela was just one to remind me of what happened to me.

I got up from my bed and tried on my cheerleading outfit. The burgundy and white clothes hugged my body, and I was actually pleased to see myself in the mirror. I spent years hiding my curves, and thought they were non-existent, but looking at myself in the mirror now, I could see the skirt hugging my curves.

My mom knocked on the door and I allowed her in.

She looked at me through the mirror, and I let out a smile.

"You look so beautiful." She complimented, sitting down on my bed with her hands on her cheeks.

This was the most comfortable I had ever seen her. Instead of her expensive dresses, pearls around her neck and ears, she had on a robe, her face free of makeup, and her natural kinky hair up in a bun.

She was absolutely beautiful.

Growing up, I always wanted to look just like my mother. I loved her charcoal dark skin that I used to stay out in the sun for so long as a kid, just to have. I loved her big curly hair and her fiery attitude.

"Look at you." She encouraged, making me look at myself again.

As much as I tried to believe her, I couldn't help but look at the imperfections on my legs, arms and face. I looked up at her and sat down on the bed with her.

"Do you love Mark more than you loved Dad?" I blurted out, playing with the hem of my skirt.

She looked surprised at my question, but looked up in thought before answering. "I loved your father, and I still do. Mark and I's love is more predictable. . . Like light ocean waves in the morning. You father and I. . . It was. . . Electric, like fireworks, or like a storm. It's nice and exciting but sometimes it just has to end."

I looked down in thought, my mind realizing that if I were to ever love another, I'd want it to be more like the latter than calm and easy. Maybe it was the brokenness inside of me, but calmness just wasn't something I was used to.

We spoke some more about the love between my father and her. She told me amazing stories when they went backpacking all across South America, and how they found out she was pregnant with me after getting food poisoning in Peru. It was an amazing bonding moment I would never trade for anything.

I loved my mother and missed her more than anything, if I was being honest with myself. The divorce between her and my father was devastating to me as a child, and my mother did not even fight to have me, because she saw the life I had in New York and didn't want to move me to another state when she met Mark.

I hated her for it for a while, because I wished she would have taken me with her, but she chose a life with Mark than with me. Reconciliation with her almost seemed impossible to me, because those feelings will never go away.

I got up and looked at myself in the mirror again, a normal teenager at the reflection.

Maybe this school was a chance of having a new normal life, and I was not going to let anyone stand in my way.

* * *