Si tu vois ma mere - Sidney Bechet 
I Was An Island - Allison Weiss 
Crybaby - The Neighborhood

The eyes of a dead girl stare back at me as I brush out the knot in the back of my head. I didn't recognize the person staring back, I only knew that she was cold and lifeless. My skin color was more purple now that I was here. My nails looked brittle. My hair lost the natural shiny layer that made it usually gleam. I was dead.

I lay the brush down on the sink counter and separate a small section to start braiding. I was never one to really braid my hair, but it was an excuse to not go back out there yet. I huff as one strand falls out of my grasp and I have to start over. Mom taught me how to braid my hair once and only once in my life. Tutorials were all garbage at teaching and Mare had always had short hair, even before he was Mare. I start to get the pattern before my hand twists and the whole thing loosens and falls back into place.

"Struggle much?" I nearly jump to the ceiling when Jase speaks. How long had he been there? How long was he watching me brush my hair? My heart beats fast as I watch him fully open the knobless door and stand next to me, his hands casually behind his back. Same demeanor as he always seemed to have.

"You need to grab the last piece with your thumb, that's where you're messing up. Try again," I look at him through the mirror and separate the strands, starting yet again. I grab the piece with my thumb and my hand twists again, releasing the first piece and undoing the braid. Jase sighs and takes his hands from behind his back, grabbing my hair. I suck in a sharp breathe as separates the strands and motions for me to grab the hair.

"Now, grab that piece, no not that one," The hair once again falls from my fingers and my shoulders sink down.

"Here, let me," His hand grazes my neck and I realized how tense I had become. There was never a moment more than I wanted to absolutely punch someone in the face then right now. I let him grab my hair and he calmly starts to braid the pieces. It felt like my mother braiding my hair when I was a little kid and sitting on the counter again. I could even smell the world's best blueberry smoothie being made by my dad just a few inches away. Our dog would be barking like crazy until he got a taste. But then one day, Crash wasn't there anymore. And then my dad stopped the Saturday morning tradition. Mom pulled me aside while I whined for her to braid my hair and told me to tuck until I made a braid. I stopped wearing my hair in braids.

"Let me do the other side, turn your head," I look up in the mirror and see one half of my dark hair braided. Where did he learn to tuck it in so there wasn't a need for a ribbon? I admire the handiwork and begin to notice the blonde peeking through the dark colors. Jase seemed to notice as well.

"I didn't know you were a natural blonde," He comments and braids down the other side of my hair. I shrug my shoulders and lay my hands flat on the sink.

"Dirty blonde. I never liked my natural hair color. I dyed it when I finished high school, actually," Jase purses his lips and nods, tucking in the final piece so it stayed like the other.

"Where did you learn how to braid?"

"I learned from watching," The way he proudly announces this makes me remember exactly who he was. How could I have almost forgotten how utterly horrifying this man was? Jase would sneak in anywhere if he wanted to, he must have seen braiding hundreds of times.

"Mother never let me dye my hair. She said it was unclassy," He retorts and leans against the sink, right next to my hand. I peel it away and cross my arms.

"So? You're what? 20? She can't stop you, you're an adult," Jase looks at me and pushes the glasses up his nose. He blankly stares at the shower curtain and loses himself for a moment. His eyes seemed to gloss over while he thought but soon cleared up to its natural shade.

"I've never thought about it that way. She's always been there, watching me. Ever since father died. . . no, not now. I just couldn't imagine disobeying her," The way he put it, he was scared of his mother. Truth be told, I wasn't all too comfortable around her either, at least not now. Yet, it had to mean something more if Jase was afraid of the woman.

"Well, she isn't here, is she? What color have you thought about dying it?" He ponders for a moment and looks at me with a sparkle in his eye. I narrow my eyes at him and he grabs my sides, lifting me up, twirling me around so my back was to the door and setting me down. I keep my cool as he does so, half from curiosity and half because I wanted to live.

"Black. Black like the night sky,"

//

"Off with it," I choke back the horrible smell around me as a few tears slip from eyes. There I was, on my knees and unsuspecting of anything around me. There was Jase, bending over and absolutely engulfed in rage.

"I will not take my glasses off, I won't be able to see!" I roll my eyes and pull down the gloves one last time.

"Fine, but when they turn into sunglasses, don't blame me," Jase sighs and slowly take them off, tucking them in his jeans pocket. It was funny because I'd seen him numerous times in the past while without his glasses. I mix the thick dark hair dye and scrape the excess from the brush on the bowl.

"I can't believe you've never dyed your hair before. I mean, you've had everything here the whole time," Jase shrugs his shoulders and shakes his wet head in the bathtub.

"I never had you before," I stop my stirring and suck in a breathe. Ain't that sweet? I tell myself he was crazy and I was only doing this to get on his best side. I wasn't getting all buddy-buddy with my stalker and kidnapper, I wasn't going to let that happen. This was all apart of my plan. Or so it was.

I start to apply the black dye to his bleached hair and he shivers from the cold conditioner on his head. No going back now. His hands tightly grip the side of the bathtub and I could hear him whisper things to himself. I didn't really want to listen, nor did he say them any louder. Yet, I was curious nonetheless.

"What was that?"

"I'm going to burn in hell for this, I've never disobeyed her like this. It's been so long since I've done something without her approval, so long, so long," I stop applying the dye and his hand's release from the edge of the tub.

"Why did you stop? Is something wrong?" I blink rapidly and stare down at the crazy man. Was it me or was he getting more insane? I feel my mouth open and quickly shut it. His eyes started to cloud like before.

"Nothing, not a thing. Just stay still," I ask and he gives me a smile closed-lip smile. Almost a close one, if I do say so. I start to finish applying to one side and feel my shoulders sag as I stare at the rest. It was much harder when it wasn't me. I was trying not to get too much on his skin, to where I normally dumped the dye on my own head and rubbed it around until I was satisfied.

"It's cold," Jase suddenly softly says, his hand now slowly tracing the edge inside the bathtub. I start to finish the final side and scoop the final bit out and rub it in the places that were thin. I place the bowl in the bathtub next his hand and grab the hair cap, placing it around his head before peeling off the gloves and tossing them next to the bowl. Jase gets off of his knees and pushes me away so he can stare at himself in the mirror. Egotistical, are we? He stares and stares and moves his head and looks at the back.

"When will it be done?"

"About an hour or so. Could be longer if you need to apply more," Jase nods and continues to stare at his head.

"It feels wrong. I love it,"

//

I would be lying if I said he didn't look much nicer with black hair. The tips of his ears were a harsh black shade and much of his scalp had been stained, but he didn't seem to mind. I told him to wear dark clothing for the next week or so, in case it stained any of his clothes. I didn't want to be the one to take the fall for a white shirt becoming a gray shirt. He complied and changed out of the yellow shirt no more and into a dark blue shirt with a pocket in the middle.

We had retreated back into the room that I was staying in, me in the bed and him sitting across from me in the chair by the window. I was silently cleaning the black dye from under my nails and he was staring out the window, silently. I didn't even expect him to speak.

"Would you like to know why I picked you out of everyone that day?" I furrow my eyebrows and look up from my cleaning. He was still staring out the window, glasses missing and hair sticking out in a comical manner.

"What?" I ask and he rolls his neck over to look at me. My brain goes haywire as the evil man stares at me, his eyes inhuman and his face alien. The lethality in the room spikes as his mouth smiles and his eyes murder.

"It was always meant to be you. You were so different, I had to get a taste," He continues and looks away from me, back out the window.

"Aren't you glad you're with me? You must love me as much as I love you, maybe a little less, of course. I've never had one touch my hair before," The meter in my head begins the twinge all the way to the side that told me I was in trouble. I was going to hard, I needed to reel back my niceness, just a little.

"It's whatever," I casually say and look back down at my dirty fingernails. The chair scoots out and I hear a few thumps before the mattress dips and I feel warm air on my face. I didn't want to look up to see Jase staring at me. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it if I did.

"Tell me you love me," He whispers, every syllable leaving spit on my cheek. I go to wipe it away and he catches my wrist, still bandaged from the torture downstairs. I wince and he drops the wrists onto my lap. I hold it up to my chest and turn my face away from him. He grabs my jaw and painfully turns my head to look at him. I keep my eyes down and stare at his chin. Deja vu strikes me as I remember the very first day I had with Jase.

"Tell. Me. You. Love. Me," He repeats, slowly and painfully quiet. I feel his fingernails dig into my jaw and try to rip my head from his grasp. His grip only tightens and we stay in a stagnant shaking position where neither of us was going to get out.

"Say it! Say it or I'll gouge those pretty little eyes out of your head!"

"I love you! I love you! I love you," He throws my head away from him and I collapse onto the bed, breathing heavy. I feel him lean down and lay next to me, but I keep my eyes closed. I didn't know how much longer I could do this before I would finally use that plan of mine.

"You will always be my favorite obsession."