My ears must be deceiving me.

Ice baby.

Chase didn't just call me ice baby. He can't. It's not him, there literally is no way. Yet I'm sure I heard it correctly. When we're in the shower his voice is the only thing I focus on.

It has been him, all this time.

I've been played.

Ice baby.

I feel the tears spring to my eyes. How... how could he?

"W-what did you just call me?" I choke out.

My throat feels tight. It's a struggle to get the words out.

I already know it is him, I'm not stupid. He called me ice baby, only my boyfriend calls me that, and he has no way of knowing. I just need to hear him confirm it.

Whenever Del called me ice baby, the blood in my veins went warm, but this time my blood turned to ice.

Ice baby.

He stays silent for a while, which tells me he knows he fucked up. With my hand covering my mouth, I am waiting for his reply.

"What? I didn't call you anything, my nightingale."

He lies.

The fact that he is trying to get out of this hurts even more. The lying reminds me of Tamara, I thought I knew better after her, but I guess Del took a few lessons out of her book and played me too.

They both love manipulation.

Chase has been manipulating me all this time. He is the reason I gave Del a chance in the first place. Only to find out they're the same fucking person.

"Cut it out. I heard you say it. Please be honest with me." I'm losing my patience—I feel defeated and need answers.

I'm trembling on my feet. I hold onto the shower door, the imprint of my hand now leaving a mark.

Although it hasn't quite caught up with me yet, tears stream down my face. The betrayal is evident—it's all too clear.

It never once crossed my mind that it could be Del. But now that I think of it, the possibility was always there—he fucking lives on the same floor. If only I had ever made the connection that his dorm is on the exact opposite side of mine. But the way the hallways are designed on this floor never made me realize that could even be possible. It takes so long to walk to his apartment from mine.

Stupid architecture. Stupid Kiya.

"Kiya, darling. Please, just hear me out, okay."

I'm too stunned to speak, just hearing him call my name. Chase's voice suddenly morphs into Del's voice. Suddenly the guy behind the wall has a face. Chase has a face—the face of my boyfriend.

"I didn't mean for this to happen like this. I was going to tell you soon. Please believe me."

I shrink, my knees give in, and I sit on the shower floor. I hug my knees to my body and hide my face in my legs. My body softly shakes as I wait for him to explain, yet I don't think I'll believe anything he says.

"I've wanted to tell you for so long, especially when we became so close. I swear it was so hard not to tell you, I promise, ice baby, I promise."

He had so many opportunities to tell me. He should've told me last week when we were in the car starting a fight about this. That was the perfect time to tell me, yet he didn't.

I sit on the floor, watching the water go down the drain.

I feel empty. All our special moments in the shower have faded. Chase used to be my safety net, but I felt it slip away just now. I feel exposed. I'm too vulnerable in this position.

"How long?" I ask with my shaking voice, just loud enough for him to hear.

"What?"

"For how long have you known?" I wonder if he can hear the shakiness in my voice. Does he know I'm crying?

Silence.

I'm afraid I won't like his answer. It will be much longer than our fight in the car, where I told him about Chase. I try to think back to our conversations, was there something I said that gave it away?

"Um...I always had a suspicion that it was you, because of things you said. The thought that it could be you is why I kept coming here. It just never was a hundred percent confirmed until you told me this week..."

The water keeps falling upon me. It feels heavy, like a load on my shoulders.

I'm so done.

I reach my hand above my head to turn the shower off. I no longer want to be listening to him. There is nothing he could say to me that will make me overlook his betrayal.

The bottom line is: that he knew and could've told me, yet he chose not to tell me. I don't think he would've, at least for a while. He knew I was spilling my secrets and feelings because I thought this person would never find out who I am. He used this to get information out of me that I wasn't comfortable sharing with him.

"Kiya, please don't go. There is so much I still need to say to you, please."

I bite my lips to keep from completely breaking down. I need to get out of here. In my room, I'm safe and can give in. This bathroom is not a safe place anymore.

I don't listen to him and stand up. I open the shower door and take my towel out.

I know he has nothing more to say but empty words. He fucked up and doesn't really have a good excuse for it, he didn't think it through, and now he has to deal with the consequences.

I'm in a rush as I dry myself and wrap the towel around my body. Tears still silently stream down my face. I don't even bother getting dressed in the bathroom. I take my stash of clothes and run out of the bathroom, I can hear Del screaming at me through the vent, but I've blocked him out.

My heart shattered to pieces. A heartbreak so different from when my ex and I broke up. It somehow feels much more intensified.

I want to curl into a ball and give in. Let the pain consume me, I want to give up on opening up to new people. It never works.

I can still hear Del's voice as I get out of the bathroom in my haste.

I slam into Darlene as I run into the hallway without looking. She grabs onto my arms to keep us both from falling.

"Ki, are you okay? What happened?" She asks, noticing the distress on my face.

I'm sure she can distinguish the tears from the drops of water. My eyes must be bloodshot.

"I—I..." I choke out.

My voice is quivering as I try to speak, but I don't even know what to say. My throat closes again, and the concerned look on Darlene's face makes me break even more than I had before.

Sobs start to come out, and she immediately pulls me into her arms. I audibly cry on her shoulder, trying not to choke in my sobbing. One of her hands is in my hair, and the other goes to rub circles on my back, soothing me.

My body shakes as I sob.

"Oh poor thing," I hear her speak softly, "whatever it is, you can tell me."

I don't even know where to start telling her. I've kept this whole thing a secret the entire time.

What if Del hasn't? Maybe he has been sharing everything with his friends and teammates the entire time. Would he betray me to that extent? No, that has to be my insecure subconscious talking—Del cares for me.

I've grown so much as a person I can't go back to letting my dark subconscious consume my thoughts. Not even if Del broke me, that Kiya is not coming back.

I almost let go of what I had built in the shower. But I need to stay rational.

Despite what he has done, I know he cares about me. It's something I can't deny, not even after what happened just now. His reaction and this past week speak for that. He wouldn't have taken me to his parent's house if it wasn't real.

I know he cares, but that is no excuse.

I jump when I hear loud knocking on the door just meters away from where we're standing in this hallway.

"Kiya, please let me in."

Darlene looks me in the eyes, and she must see the panic that goes through me. I shake my head as she looks at me questionably. She now knows the reason I am this distraught. She is not going to let this go easy.

The knocking continues. Darlene nods her head back to my room, signaling for me to go there and she will take care of it.

"Baby, please. We need to talk." It almost sounds like he is about to knock the door down.

I give Darlene a thankful nod and walk past her to my room. I slam the door behind me. I make sure to lock it before I make my way to the bed and collapse there, still in only just my towel.

I feel so small.

I hear the front door opening, and Darlene and Del start talking. I can't make out what they are saying, but I can hear how stressed he sounds—he's almost in panic mode. I feel some empathy for him, I know he only meant well, but he still went behind my back and made use of my vulnerable state.

Darlene, on the other hand, sounds angry. She is on the verge of screaming. She never liked him and warned me. I am just not in the mood to hear her say, 'i told you so,' she won't do that, though. She is above that.

Eventually, the door closes. I think Darlene sent Del away. Good. I can't imagine what would've happened if I had to face him.

I hear footsteps in the hallway before a soft knocking comes at my door. I force myself to get off the bed and unlock the door for Darlene.

"Hey, I sent him away." She says and walks into my room.

She takes a seat on my bed while I quickly grab some track pants and a hoodie to put on. This whole time I've just been in my towel.

I sit next to her on the bed. I lean my head on her shoulder; she puts her arm around me. I close my eyes as we sit like this, but they are still filled with tears.

"Do you wanna tell me what happened?" Darlene asks softly.

I wince, but I know I have to. I owe it to her now that she is here comforting me. Plus, she warned me; she told me Del would hurt me, and I didn't listen.

I feel embarrassed about the whole thing.

"He has been dishonest with me this entire time." I sniff.

I open my eyes again and look at her. She looks at me, worried.

"What did he do?" I hear the underlying fury in her tone.

I sigh and gather my thoughts. Where do I even start?

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that." I pause and take a breath, "I've been talking to this guy anonymously for months, and I just found out it was Del, and he has been lying to me for months."

That came out easier than I expected. Darlene won't judge me, but she will be direct with her answers, constantly vocalizing her opinions.

"Wait, I don't understand—how have you been talking to this guy, and why didn't I know about it."

"I've been meeting him in the shower. His bathroom is on the other side of our wall. So um, we've been singing together. It just kinda happened, we've been meeting up since the beginning of the school year, and even after I started dating Del." I elaborate, "and I didn't want to tell you at first before I knew what it was and now I never see you anymore, you've always been out and I had to hear from Maxine you've been out and about with some guy."

I know I'm switching the topic, but I need to be distracted from everything. Discussing this only makes me sadder, and I think I'm running out of tears. Also, I am dying to know which guy she has been seeing.

"Well, it's not just some guy. It's my boyfriend by now."

"Wait, are you serious? You're dating someone and have been keeping it from me. Who is it? You need to tell me now."

"I won't tell you yet who he is, but you'll find out soon enough. For now, let's say you know him." She says mysteriously, "and for the not telling part, it's not like you've been telling me everything, apparently. So you can't be mad at me."

"I know him, oh my god. You better not be dating anyone from the team." I accuse.

I watch her cheeks redden.

"No way, Dar. You are dating a hockey player. What the fuck now?"

"Yeah, I know, I've always detested athletes, but he is different."

Darlene and an athlete. Let's be more specific, Darlene and a hockey player, one of my hockey players!

Most of them are sweethearts, but there are also some I don't want her to be with.

"Should I be the one to give you the warning speech now that you've clearly been swept off your feet?"

"No, I know what I'm doing, and we're taking it slow. His friends don't know about it either, we've been keeping it on the low because I wanted to tell you first. Since you're so close with the team, you would've found out through them since they never keep their mouths shut. I swear boys gossip more than girls—I don't care what they say."

"Oh, you've got that right. The stories I've heard while in their proximity are insane."

We both laugh at this.

I wonder which guy of the team she would date, but I honestly can't tell. Darlene is a girl that could be with anyone, and they'd make a good-looking couple. She shines so much. She looks good with anyone.

Our laughing slowly dies down, and silence overcomes us. We look at each other, a lot of emotions behind both our eyes. I think my eyes are filled with mostly sadness, while in Darlene's eyes, empathy takes over, and she feels sad for me.

"I've missed us." She says, eventually, "I hate that it had to come down to you getting hurt for us to talk like this again. I'm going to murder him when I see him. I kept my calm just now because I knew I needed to get to you."

"I missed this too. We need to hang out again. I hated this tension between us."

"So...what we need is a good Taylor Swift song, dance around for a bit, and then get some ice cream out of the fridge and watch a good marvel movie together to get your mind off this stupid guy, who is far below you."

I smile at her. I love her so much.

//

I noticed some confusion about the rooms in the comments so this is how I kinda envisioned it

please be kind and don't forget to vote xx