13.

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I'm currently sitting on the bus with the team. We are on our way to the venue their game is at.

Their first game happened to be an away game. It is a little nerve-racking but does give me the full experience all at once. I will be thrown into the deep.

I'm sitting in the front with Coach and Matt and some other support staff, who I don't know, while the boys are sitting in the back. Gabe invited me to join them in the back, but I thought it would be better to sit here in the front, away from the team. I'm not part of the team, so I don't think I belong there sitting with them.

Del gave me a pout when I told Gabe no. But he understood it as well.

I turn around in my seat to glance at the boys sitting in the back. I kneel in the seat. so I can look properly.

My eyes scan over the group that produces most of the noise in this bus. I was expecting them to rest before the game, but apparently, they are filled with adrenaline.

When my gaze falls on Del, it doesn't take long for him to feel my stare and snap his eyes at me. From a distance, that only a few rows of seats, his eyes bore into mine.

I can see him trying to read my face, but my expression is blank. I've mastered blank expressions. Tamara used to say my face held too much emotion, so I trained myself to lose that trait.

If it's good for anything, I now have a very strong poker face, which will give nothing away.

'you ok?' I can see him ask with his eyes.

Am I okay? Not completely sure.

I give him a shrug, which makes him raise his eyebrows at me.

It is as if I'm only transparent for him. He is the only one seeing right through my bullshit, whereas others are facing a brick wall when it comes to me. He somehow always breaks through my wall.

Last night, before going to that party, I thought I had made my mind up about wanting to try things with Del now and have it just be him. But Chase still had been there in the back of my mind, creeping back inside.

That song just woke up my brain and screamed Chase at me. I think I'm scared that if this thing with Del works out—I will never have the possibility to meet Chase and try something with him. If this with Del will work out, there is a high possibility of my cutting contact with Chase because I want to stay faithful.

I feel awful for wanting both; what kind of person am I?

I never felt like this before; my ex and I just had each other that was enough for us. Until I wasn't enough anymore—Bodie wanted to move on with someone else.

But Chase and Del, I feel like I have a connection with both, they're both drawing me in, and I don't know how that is even possible. I feel allured by them in different ways, but the feeling is sort of starting to resemble the other.

Chase, I don't know that well, but we just click, you know? He gets me. But then, Del manages to make me feel warm and accepted. It is not possible to catch feelings for two persons simultaneously. Now, is it?

It's not that I'm going to change anything about the situation I am in right now. I want to spend more time with Del. I'm not going to ruin that by talking to him about the other guy again—that might be the real deal-breaker.

If I do that, it would feel like a relapse. Like Chase is the drug I just can't get enough of—craving a little taste of him—whatever I can get. I want to be strong and move forward now. I can't toy with their emotions. I have given Del so much hope now. I will let him shoot his shot with me, and see if we're compatible together.

Maybe we will share that true passion for the other. Judging from what the situation is right now, there is definitely a possibility for that.

Having zoned out, I never noticed Del sliding out of his seat and making his way towards me until he is right in front of me, as my body is still turned around towards the back of the bus.

He plops down in the seat behind mine, resting his hand on my headrest—in between both of mine.

Still on my knees turned around. I look at him, waiting for him to speak first.

"Hey, thought I'd come to see where you're mind was at. You seemed a little lost, just wanted to be here for you." He says softly, so no one else will hear us.

He really is so sweet. I don't know how he always manages to exceed my expectations by a hundred.

"I'm fine. I guess I'm a little nervous about what's about to happen."

"If you're stressing out about the game, it will be fine. I can't promise you no one will get hurt but just have a little faith in the team. We'll manage."

I stay quiet for a second. That's not what I was nervous about.

As if he read my mind, he then says, "unless that's not what you're stressing about." his pinky reaches out to wrap around mine, "if it's the people there, don't worry. They won't know you. This is an away game. Most of the audience will be for the other team; no puck bunnies are hunting me down, there is no T—"

He shuts his mouth before her name manages to leave his mouth.

I snap my eyes up at him. He caught himself before her name left his lips. Had I been worried about Tamara? Probably subconsciously, yes.

I hadn't thought of her directly. But the intrusive thoughts I have, are formed by her.

We had promised not to mention her again. I need to move on from her.

"Sorry..." he trails off, "...I didn't mean to say that, but what I meant is—you'll be free at this game, there is no one paying attention to you except for the physician, maybe."

"It's fine. I know you didn't mean to," I say, brushing it off, not wanting to dwell on something like this now. "thanks for coming to me, you didn't have to, but I appreciate you thinking of me."

He gives me a little smile.

"So other than the nerves, are you excited?"

"You know, I kind of am. But it's just that I don't know what to expect, and I am not that good with the unknown, so for now, I don't know. I'd like to see the team play... and you... you're amazing." I add.

I notice a faint little blush in his cheeks, my compliment awaking something in him. Good to know, compliments make the boy blush.

"Thanks, I certainly hope to impress you out there on the ice, might even do a few tricks if you'd like to see."

"Hmm, sure. So then, you need to show me what you've got. You better put those skating talents to use for more." I tease.

We're definitely flirting now, aren't we?

"Speaking of skating talents, I still want to see you on the ice." He says lowly.

"I'm sure that's something you'd want to see—I will be a comedy show."

"Don't worry. I will help you. But when you fall, make sure to pull me with you so we can recreate one of those romantic scenes from the movies, when they fall together and the most groundbreaking kiss."

"In your dreams, Delly boy," I say and swat his hand away.

We both laugh sheepishly before his attention is stolen by is the team.

"Chambers, get you're ass back in here. You can flirt with her later." Someone screams.

Now I'm the one blushing. The team acknowledged us flirting with the other.

Del reaches out to give my hand a gentle squeeze before standing up.

"I'll talk to you when we get there, alright?" He asks.

I confirm it for him with a nod. He turns around back to where the boys are seated.

Conversations with Del like this make me gravitate towards him more. I think he just feels me. He reads my mind—he knows where it's at.

He comforts me. It's also the little touches of affirmation that do a lot for me. Physical contact is something I don't have with Chase, and I'm not sure if I ever will have that.

"Kiya, you listening?" Matt asks me, making me snap out of my dubious love triangle thoughts.

I turn around and am faced by Matt looking at me questionably.

"Sorry... what?" I ask as I feel my cheeks redden with embarrassment for not paying attention.

I can't neglect my work because of this love triangle. Hockey and school are already a lot on my plate. I wanted this position; I need to be devoted to it.

"When we get there, we need to do a pre-check-up on some of the players at risk." He explains. I think he told me this before, but I wouldn't blame him for thinking I had forgotten.

My mind has not been present all the time.

"Oh yes, that's good." I straighten myself up in an attempt to still kind of look professional about this all.

"It won't be very eventful, but it's good for you to learn. Now during the game, that is when the real thing will start, anything can happen, and I always need you to be ready to jump in when I need you."

That sounds a little unnerving, but that is what I'm here for. I've done this for the football team; hockey can't be much worse, no?


I was wrong.

It can definitely be worse. The first period has just started, we're ten minutes in, and I've seen so many players being jammed into the wall already on both teams.

I was a little afraid we had to take out Brooks (the left defenseman) because someone bashed him into the wall with so much force, but he seemed fine. Apparently, the protection they wear really seems to help.

Del, on the other hand, has been so good. The team's captain has been exceeding my expectations on this first game. He hasn't scored yet, but he is certainly outdoing himself—dodging most players coming his way, passing the puck with control to his teammates when getting in a heated situation, never losing dominance in the game.

I can already judge we are better than the other team, even if we haven't scored yet or anything.

We might be better, but I'm still standing here with nerves in my stomach as I watch it, completely absorbed by the game.

When Leo passes the puck to Del, positioned in front of the goal, it is the perfect assist. That is proven when Del shoots it past the goalie and straight into the net.

I start to cheer together with everyone else close around me. Some of the tension I had built up unconsciously disappears now that the first goal is made. I'm pretty sure very little can go wrong now.

I watch as the players on the ice gather around Del to yell in delight, as do the players who are not playing and sitting on the bench.

I feel so proud of him.

I can't wipe the smile off my face as I watch them. I feel a hand on my shoulder and look sideways—it is Matt standing there with a smile similar to mine. He must have noticed my happiness.

"Well, this feeling is what it really is about. This is what makes it so great. It brings people together. They cheer together in victory and feel euphoric. I hope you're going to like it on the team. This is just the start." He smiles brightly.

"This is amazing." I tell him, "I didn't expect to like it this much, but I am already enjoying it more than football."

"Well, I certainly hope so. Let's hope we have many more of these moments and fewer injuries this season because as much as I like my job, it'll be better if I had to practice it less."

Soon after, the game resumes. We move into the second period, where now Taylor manages to score. And another one by Del.

Moving into the third period, which is also the final one, the opponents manage to break through the defense and score as Dino, our goalie, doesn't stop it.

We don't score in the third period, but that doesn't matter.

We won.

1-3.

And no one was hurt. I pretty much could chill the entire game. It wasn't that rough, said Matt. Well, not according to my judgment.

The boys get off the ice after having made their victory round.

Player by player, we congratulate them before they're off to their locker room. Del is the last one to get off the ice. He takes the compliments from the staff.

After receiving compliments from everyone—he meets me, standing in the back.

His smile brightens, and he wraps his arms around me, unlike he had greeted the other people.

He hugs me tightly, more or less, hovering over me due to him still having his skates on.

"Welcome to hockey, ice baby." He whispers with his icy breath as his lips brush my ear, making me shiver.


//

Hi, we have the victory party coming up next!!

I hope you like the: every Friday updating schedule.

I'm sticking to that now, see you next Friday! Hope everyone had a good week, I, unfortunately, tested positive on covid, so I'm quarantining. But I did get tickets for Harry Styles in Manchester which is very exciting :))


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