"Where've you been since the concert? I've been calling and texting—especially in the group chat—and you know I hate using that one. What's been going on? Are you sick? Did you fall in love with Kade Hendrix and you've been in a lovesick coma because you can never have him, because—same."

"No, Con, I just had some drama with my father on Sunday. It's nothing, my entire family is just mad at me."

"Oh, well you were asleep when I got back from Isaac's frat las night so I didn't want to bother you."

I glanced at her picture perfect complexion in the mirror beside me and sighed as I combed my fingers through the dull layers of my hair and scowled at the reflection staring back at me with deadened eyes.

Mondays were on my shit list.

"So, how well did you thank Isaac for his camera contribution for the night?"

Fuck, girl talk hurt so much, but it wasn't like I was going to let her see that.

"Well, actually..."

Her smile turned damn near psychotic, breaking her face in half and making her blue eyes glint with the knowledge of secrets unrevealed and I arched an eyebrow in response.

"Yes?"

Constance bit her already pink lacquered lip and ruffled her fingers through the soft waves of her light blonde hair.

"You remember how I got those tickets?"

"...no, actually. I just assumed you were really quick with buying them since they sold out so crazy fast."

"Well...Isaac was the one who actually got them for us. He said he won them on a radio station contest or something, but I didn't want to tell you because then you'd—yep, right there. Then you'd give me that look."

"I'm not giving you a 'look'! And if he won those tickets, he should've taken you to that concert, Con! How could you just let me take his ticket? Now I feel like a terrible person, oh my god—"

"Stop it! Listen, he knows how much you love Kade Hendrix, and—"

"Loved, past tense. Kade Hendrix can go get bent for all I care."

Shit. Shit shit shit why did I just let that slip out of my mouth so casually?

My brain scrambled for a way to fix my slip up as to why I would just suddenly change my attitude about a particular superstar when a stray thought slipped past my mind.

Why was I hiding what had happened from my best friend in the entire world in the first place? Was it because I was so used to keeping secrets from her already, and it just came naturally?

Or was there a stupid, selfish reason buried deep down under my conscience that whispered that I wanted to keep him all to myself? She already had Isaac, maybe I wanted to keep this little piece of something spectacular to myself...

But how selfish and wrong was that of me? Con had never done anything to me to hurt me in the first place.

Still, something about it seemed off, telling her what had happened.

I'd tell her soon, just not then, right before our first class of the day.

No, I'd wait, but I'd tell her. Eventually.

"Get bent? Who the hell are you and what have you done with the Ivy Bennett who's been in love with Kade Hendrix since he came out with 'Sweet Love' back in ninth grade?!"

"I—I heard he doesn't actually write his own songs. I'm not sure if it's true a hundred percent, but I can't stand liars. And his concert left a bad taste in my mouth. I didn't like his new song at all."

Ironic. I 'couldn't' stand liars' but there I was, lying to my best friend's face.

What a fucking hypocrite I was becoming.

"Are you actually serious? He's a plagiarizer?"

"Yeah..."

Did I feel bad for telling the truth in a roundabout way? Sort of, but I wasn't going to let her know that.

She flipped her hair over her shoulders, the blonde strands catching stray sunlight filtering in through the skylight in the shared hall bathroom as another girl on our floor came sauntering out of a stall to our backs and I quickly dropped the conversation, praying to whoever was up there listening that I didn't completely lose my friendship with her if she found out about this somewhere other than from my mouth.

"Shit. I really liked that song, though. Oh well. I wonder if someone will expose him on social media."

Following her through the doors of the run down bathroom, her phone began ringing its incessant ringtone that changed every few new viral songs. This time, it was 'About Damn Time' by Lizzo, but only the part that everyone in the entire world seemed to know the words to.

"Hey babe! I'm just with Ivy leaving the bathrooms. Of course you can come over, yeah, okay. Love you, see you in a minute!"

"Can I have ten guesses to who that was on the phone?"

She rolled her eyes at my teasing but smiled anyway.

Happiness looked good on her.

I wondered what it would feel like on me.

"Isaac wants to walk you to class since Caleb's been giving you trouble. We're gonna stop at my class on the way. Is that okay?"

"Y—yeah, that sounds fine."

Even as the world burned on fire beneath my feet, everything was fine. It was always fine.

Everything would be fine.

Even as Kade Hendrix texted me underneath the code name I'd given him on my phone.

K: Might be late today, feel free to chill with Corbin for a while until I get there.

Me: Works for me. Maybe we'll write the rest of the album and won't even need you.

K: Sure, let me know how that goes. Corbin's a good producer, but he's not a writer.

Me: I'm sure I could do fine without you.

K: Yeah, I'm sure you could. Too bad this is my album, not yours.

Me: Excuse me, sir. I think this is our album now.

K: Your name will be on the credits—not the track listings.

Me: If it weren't for me wanting to prove something, I'd make sure my name was never associated with yours in the first place.

K: I can make that happen. You want a pen name? How about instead of Ivy Bennett it's Ivy Bitchiness?

Me: Ha ha. I like how you think you're so funny.

K: What do you mean? I'm very funny.

Me: Keep dreaming, song thief. That would be a good name for the album, actually. It's brutally honest—unlike you.

K: You're hilarious, Ives.

Me: Hey, that's Ivy Bitchiness to you.

K: Nah, I think I like my nickname for you better. See you at 6.

Me: Unless I get done writing before you bother to show up.

K: We'll see about that. Ives.

Isaac knocked on our door just as I tucked my phone away and threw my Lit book into my oversized backpack purse.

"You girls ready?"

"Why does it feel like I'm going to battle instead of just class?"

"Because Caleb is a villain and we are the only ones who he likes to fight on a daily basis. We're the chosen ones. It's like a fun fantasy novel!"

I rolled my eyes at Constance's attempt to lighten the mood, but my mind wandered back to the day before when I'd snubbed him in front of an entire room full of people—including his father—and dread churned in my gut.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time to not take any of his shit, but now? Now, I wasn't so sure I should've done that.

A sick part of me was yelling at my brain for not kissing the ground he walked on just so that he'd have a little less anger at me on campus.

But of course, that twisted part of me was quickly stomped on by the realization that what I did had no effect on Caleb and his maniacal ways.

He was his own person and I couldn't control him. No matter what I did, it seemed like he would always hate me and try to make my life pure misery, so what was the point in even trying to fight it anyway?

Isaac's windswept hair brushed the smooth skin of his forehead and accented the light blue tint of his eyes.

I tried not to linger in the shadow of his gaze for too long, otherwise I'd drown in it and then everything would go even farther to hell than just being bullied by an adult man trapped in a middle school aged boy's mind and the fact that I was hiding possibly one of the biggest secrets I'd ever kept from my best friends.

Isaac looped his arm through mine and his girlfriend's and I tried to keep my heart from skipping and dancing happily in my chest at the slight contact. I needed to get over this, immediately.

It couldn't have been anything other than just a simple crush because of our proximity, right? It had to be. It couldn't have been anything more. Sure, love was a serious word. Of course I loved Isaac, but being in love with him?

I hadn't even been in love with Caleb. Maybe that was why he pushed back at me so harshly, because he realized I hadn't fallen so completely and madly under his spell to begin with.

Obviously, I'd given him my virginity, but...that had been more out of wanting the experience than caring who had taken it in the first place.

It sounded morbid and fucked up, and I knew I should've waited for the right person and a great relationship and blah blah blah, but with Caleb, I didn't care about anything.

If he didn't open the car door for me, if he only kissed me because he wanted something more, if he never showed me any affection when we were alone or even in public...I just did not care about any of it.

Because he wasn't Isaac.

And he was the only one I wanted that attention from.

Right?

I didn't want to acknowledge the little voice inside me telling me I only wanted Isaac that way because he was unattainable.

Isaac was the definition of off-limits.

If I could never have him, then how much harm could he really cause me, anyway?

"Let's go, I don't want to be late to our Lit class since we have to drop Constance off on the way."

I allowed Isaac to tug me away from our dorm while trying to stuff down the feelings raging a war inside me that couldn't be quelled with innocent looks to my guy best friend.

No, this was a sickening, crunching, dark kind of war that heralded Isaac as the hero and I was the villain—trying to destroy his happiness.

I slipped my arm out of his hold.

"I—I actually forgot something at our room. You guys go ahead, I don't think Caleb will try to mess with me before a class that we have together anyway."

"What? Are you sure? I mean—I have a test in my class, but—"

"No, I'm sure. You guys go ahead."

"Okay—"

Isaac cut himself off as I turned and made a run for the room I shared with my best friend.

I tossed my bag back down on the twin bed on my side of the room before grabbing my makeup bag.

Black eyeliner, heavy mascara, and a deep red lip later, I stared at myself in the mirror and wondered what the hell I was doing.

Black top, black jeans, black leather jacket.

The main goal was to be unrecognizable.

I hadn't missed a single class all semester, so hopefully I wouldn't be missing too much. I had the best grade in the class, even better than Isaac. I could easily catch up within a day.

I called Mia and she answered on the first ring.

"Girl. Where have you been? I've been texting you since you ran away from your dad's event yesterday."

"Long story. Wanna meet at Lizzie's in an hour?"

"Lizzie's? What, are you wanting to do some light day drinking at nine in the morning on a Monday?"

"I was going to go by myself, but—"

"No, no. I'll be there. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. I mean, no, but it will be. I...it's a long story."

"Okay. And it'll be just you?"

"Yeah."

She didn't necessarily love my two best friends.

"Okay, I'll be there in an hour. What are we wearing?"

"The usual."

"Awesome. And you better tell me this long story of yours."

"Okay, but you probably won't believe me."

Her laugh was a twinkling reprieve from the somersaults happening in my brain.

"You'd be surprised."

We hung up and I was on my way to the city with a sinking sensation that someone was following me, but I didn't have time to wonder or waste as I slid into the driver's seat of my vehicle that my father had bought for me as an eighteenth birthday present.

Only six more hours until I had to be at Kade's studio, and eight hours until I saw him again.

Maybe I could drown some of those away in whiskey sours; although I didn't know if I was wanting the time to pass by more slowly to stall, or for it to speed by in a blur so that I didn't have to agonize over how much longer until I could lay my eyes on his tempting form one more time.

I was definitely stalling. I could've gone the rest of my life without having to see his smug face again...right?

***

A/N:

So this took a while to update because writer's block and life happening, but I hope you all enjoyed it!

Question: How did you find this book? Recommended, ranked lists, Tiktok, Instagram, etc.?

What do you think is going to happen?

Any plot twist theories?

What do you WANT to happen next?

Until next time my lovely readers,
Kristen :)