Natalia's POV

"I'm sorry! I'm here." Grayson says, walking into the apartment. 

"You're fine. I was just worried about you. You didn't say anything." I say as he approaches me.

"I've missed you. God, I've missed you." He says as he pulls me into his arms.

"I've missed you, too." I say, running my hands into his hair. 

"Don't stop doing that. I need that." He says. 

"You're in a little mood today. You doing okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I wasn't really wanting to stay in the office late today, but I did. I should have just left with you. Instead, I kept you waiting. I'm sorry." He mutters.

"It's okay, Gray. I promise." I assure him with a soft laugh. "It's no big deal." I add.

"I know you made this dinner for us and I love that you did that, really. However, I'm exhausted and I don't really have an appetite right now. Can we just lay here for a second?" He asks softly.

"Of course. Your plate is in the fridge anyways. I figured that you'd want to sleep once you got home." 

"You're the best. God, what did I do to get someone like you?" He asks, kissing my neck gently.

"Ditto." I reply with a laugh. "What were you doing at the office so late?" I ask.

"Coding stuff. I was stuck at work trying to finish this glitch in the recent homepage development. I was trying to get it done quickly and just got sidetracked." He sighs.

"You? Sidetracked? How difficult was the glitch? You can find those in two seconds." I laugh.

"Gen wanted to watch me fix the glitch, so I was doing some teaching as well." He mutters, snuggling into my neck. Normally, this would be cute. However after what he just said, It's not cute at all.

"Gen?" I ask.

"Yeah. My intern." He reminds me.

"I know who she is." I reply. "I just wasn't aware that you have a nickname and everything." I mutter.

"A nickname?" He asks. 

"Yes. Her name is Genevieve." I snap.

He leans up to look at me, noticing the change in my voice.

"She asked for me to call her Gen." He replies.

"Fine." I shrug.

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I ask.

"I'm...not sure?" He asks, giving me a questioning look. 

"Okay. Cool." I say. He leans back into me and sighs, cuddling into me further.

"I just don't think she's someone you need to be getting too cozy with." I say, bringing the conversation up once more.

"I'm not getting cozy to her." He says.

"Well, she's trying to get cozy to you. She told me that she thinks you're hot." I say.

"Me? Why?" He asks.

"Not the point, Grayson. The point is that by you calling her by whatever she wants, you're just giving her more encouragement." I groan.

"Hey, look at me." He says, pulling himself back up to look at me. "I don't care if she thinks I'm hot or whatever else she said. I have you. You're who I want. Not Gen." 

"Genevieve." I remind him.

"Genevieve." He repeats. "Not interested."

"But she's pretty." I say. Honestly, she's beautiful. She's like an amazonian goddess. She towers over me, practically. She could easily be a Victoria's Secret model.

"She's pretty." He agrees. I try and push him away but before I can, he grabs my hands and covers them with his much larger ones. "But you...are beautiful. And you're mine." 

"Damnit, why do you have to be so sweet without even trying?" I groan, wanting to be mad but feeling all annoyance leave my body.

"Because you make it easy." He smirks, "Now, can we stop talking about my very temporary intern? I really just want to cuddle with you right now." He says.

"Yes." I laugh, pulling him closer to my body and running my hand through his hair. 

"God, that's so good." He sighs.

"You know, if you don't stop moaning like that...we'll be here for a long time." I tell him.

"I'm not moaning." He laughs.

"Oh, yes. You are." I giggle in reply. "Don't worry. I think it's pretty hot." I reply.

"Really? Do you, now?" He says, pulling my face down to his own.

His lips press against mine gently and I let out a sigh. I've missed this. Now that we have Genevieve working on the same floor as us, the only kisses I'll get are here at home. 

Home.

I push myself up and grab his face, deepening our kiss. We've kissed like this before, but our kisses remain passionate and loving. They never get too crazy, even if we move to other things. Instead of thinking too hard over this, I swipe my tongue over his bottom lip.

He shifts slightly, but doesn't stop our kiss. I brush my tongue over his lip one more time before slipping into his mouth. He pulls away instantly, giving me a panicked look.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask, instantly worried.

"Nothing! I just...I-" He mutters, "I don't like tongue. It's gross." He replies honestly.

"I'm sorry? I didn't know." I say, immediately getting defensive. "Don't be so blunt." I mutter, standing up from the couch.

"Natalia, wait." Grayson says, trying to pull me back down.

"No." I say, pulling my arm out of his grasp. "I need to go to the bathroom. Just...just give me a second. Okay?" I sigh, walking away. I refuse to look over at him as I walk away. I know that if I look at him, he'll have his hurt puppy dog look on his face. I can never deny that face, no matter how hard I try. 

I go into the bathroom and look in the mirror, sighing at my own reflection. I'm no where near as attractive as Genevieve. She's a solid six inches taller than me with hair that falls down her back longer than my own. Her skin is perfect without makeup. I didn't see any makeup on her other than a little bit of mascara on. She looks like the kind of girl who would be with Grayson.

Not me.

"God, get off of me."  Ryan says, pushing me away from him.

"I didn't even do anything wrong!" I defend. "You're the one who was looking at that girl." 

"God, you're so obsessed with the idea that I was looking at that girl. I look at a lot of girls, Natalia. Tons of them! Maybe if you weren't so fucking needy all of the time, I wouldn't find the need to stare at other girls. Have you even thought about how you're the issue in this relationship? Not me?" He snaps.

"You're the one who doesn't even kiss me anymore! I mean, God! Am I really that repulsive to you?" I cry, feeling the defeat.

"Yes, Natalia. Is that what you want to hear? Because it hurts me to fucking say that. I don't want to feel that way! But I don't want to touch you. I don't want to kiss you. It's disgusting. It's absolutely repulsive, Natalia. Is that what you want to fucking here? The truth?" He yells.

"Nat?" Grayson calls, knocking on the door lightly. "Can I come in?" 

"No." I say, sniffling gently. I can't let him see me like this. 

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm fine. I just need a second." I reply, feeling my voice crack.

Without a knock or warning, he opens the door and looks me up and down. 

"You're crying." He points out.

"What part of no did you not understand?" I say, pushing past him and crawling into bed.

"That option went out the window when I heard that you were crying." He says. "I may not understand everything, but that's something that I can understand. Now, tell me what the problem is. Was it the kiss? Because I'm sorry. I'm just not used to...tongue. You know?" He says.

"No, it's fine. You're right. It's gross. I'm gross. I shouldn't have just done that. I'm sorry." He says.

"No, no. You're not gross. You are not gross. This isn't gross, it's just...it's new. It was something that I've never experienced before and it just made me nervous. I'm sorry. I should have handled it better." He replies.

"No, no." I reply quickly. "I'm sorry. I'm being silly. This isn't a big deal. Like, at all." I reply, shaking my head at the fact that I was just caught crying over something like this.

Grayson isn't the same person as Ryan. He is nothing like Ryan. He is his own perfect person. He's not meaning to hurt me. I'm only hurting myself.

"It is a big deal. If you're upset, it's a big deal." He says, looking very unsure. 

"Will you get into bed with me?" I ask softly, changing the subject. His eyes soften as he looks at me before he lets out a sigh and crawls into bed next to me.

"Yes." He replies, pulling me into his side. "Kiss me." He says.

"We don't have to-" I say as he engulfs me into a kiss, pushing his tongue into my mouth aggressively. It takes me by surprise, but the passion he's using to kiss me washes away any hesitation. 

We continue this until I finally pull away. He tries to pull me back, but I don't let him. I need a moment, no matter how amazing those last few moments were.

"Please." He says. "Don't end this yet." 

"I love kissing you." I reply, kissing his forehead gently. "But I know you weren't enjoying that as hard as you were trying to pretend too." I sigh.

"That's not true." He tries saying.

"Yes it is. Grayson, I can tell when you're uncomfortable."

"You can?" He asks. 

"Yes. You tense up. It's all I could feel the entire time you were kissing me." I sigh, crossing my legs in the bed.

"I'm sorry, Nat. It isn't you. It's me." He says.

"It has to do something with me." I mutter in response.

"No, it doesn't. It isn't you. You're perfect. Everything about you is perfect. It's me. It's the fact that sometimes...things just feel different to me. Sometimes a certain sense can be triggered and it becomes all too overwhelming. Certain smells, tastes, feelings...it just isn't the same for me. That feeling in particular just...It makes me uncomfortable." He explains. 

He's right. I'm being completely selfish and inconsiderate of his feelings. He didn't do anything wrong. It's not his fault that he feels like way. He doesn't think I'm gross. He doesn't. He isn't anything like Ryan. 

"Please, say something. You're making me anxious." He says almost desperately. 

"I'm sorry." I reply. "You're right. I shouldn't be so quick to get defensive. I know this isn't your fault." I reply.

"It isn't yours either." He repeats.

"It isn't mine either." I add.

"Okay. Although this isn't my fault nor is it yours, I'm still sorry. This is the kind of stuff that will be difficult with being with me. This is what I meant by things being difficult. Stuff like this." He informs me.

"We're okay, Grayson. We'll be okay." I assure him.

"As long as we can talk and work things out, we will be. Just promise me that you'll let me fix things when they get hard?" He asks.

"I promise. And promise me that you'll be patient with me when I get stubborn?" I ask.

"I promise." He smiles. "Now please, let's go to bed. I'm exhausted and just want you in my arms right now." He yawns.

"Absolutely." I laugh as I cuddle into him.

Things will be fine. I know they will be.