37| Oceans Horizon

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"If you're lost and alone
or you're sinking like a stone
Carry on."
- Fun

The ocean was calm in its own wild way. The waves were rolling over the sand, almost touching Frans' bare toes.
There was no sun, no stars, only pale clouds drifting over the skies, hiding the sun from prying eyes. Warm breeze was softly caressing his skin, it wasn't cold, not really, it was rather warm actually.

He huffed as some sand blew into his eyes, making them tear up a little as he tried to rub it out.

Frans had quit. Quit his job, quit his family and friends in television, on a live interview. It had been really dramatic, perhaps even too dramatic. But he was glad it was over. He had been dragged off before it all ended, but as  always, Marvel had everything covered.
They had hurried to airport, and Marvel had given him a one way ticket to Hawaii. He said someone by the name of Angelica, his daughter, would be there greeting him. Marv promised to cover everything up, no one would know where he went or when would he return. Frans had felt sick throught the whole flight, and when he had found a woman holding up a sign with the name "Dads Friend Frans" he had felt something in him break.
The dark skinned woman had wrapped her arms around him and hugged him in silence, guiding him away from the curious people gawking at them.

After all that, Frans had felt mostly numb, but he enjoyed being alone, being able to walk down the beach and just think. It's been almost two weeks, but he was still trying to process everything.

Angelica had dropped by when sun rose in the horizon, claiming she was just bored and decided to drop by, but they both knew she was checking up on him. They both had a nice cup of coffee in the early morning hours, or in Frans' case, a cup of tea. He still didn't fancy coffee that much. Angelica was a sweet woman, but Frans wanted solitude, he wanted his time to finally be alone, psychically so. Being alone wasn't new thing to him, in all honesty, he has been alone the past year. Everything had changed the moment his mother had taken her last breath, leaving behind him and Fredrick, and now, Fredrick was gone too, leaving Frans all alone.

The problem was, he didn't realize how much he missed Fredrick until the moment he was gone. That's the scary part, his heart refused to acknowledge what his mind was telling him. Hearts are tricky things, that's why they are locked under ribcage, to keep them in check.

He sighed, his half closed green orbs looking into the distance. That's what grief feels like, you keep on looking, on craving, waiting to see something, but there is nothing. Grief is like darkening sky, you keep on hoping but your mind knows there is nothing to wait for, and  before you realize, you're gone in the darkness, where other feelings and thoughts don't exist except grief.

Because of the cloudy weather, bigger part of the beach was empty, but Frans had walked few miles east to make sure there was no one else but him and the empty horizon.  He closed his eyes and lied on the sand, not caring about it getting all over his clothes and hair. He breathed in the salty ocean air, and somewhere in the distance, he could hear a lonely soul limping towards him. Or more likely, just walking along the bay. Frans didn't bother to open his eyes as he was in odd state of mind, somewhere stuck in his head and reality, two very different places. As different as sun and moon, day and night or even desert and woods.

Whoever was coming his way, was moving extremely slow and with uneven steps.
Frans made no move to get up, as the limping figure plopped down next to him, letting out a groan of pain or tiredness, he couldn't tell.

"And so they met again, sitting on the beach and staring into distance."

Frans was pushed into whirlwind of memories, young and old. Flashbacks of when they were little ran across his mind. And when they had gotten older, grown apart. He pushed through them, his eyes flashing open and landing on the figure next to him.

He had a cheeky smile, his eyes resting on his little brother.

Frans attacked him, hitting the side of Frederick's head and his chest, probably not strongly enough as the older of the two started laughing, grabbing Frans' fists.

"fuck it Fred! Don't ever pull this kind of stunt on me ever again!" He said angrily, forgetting the feeling of betrayal he hugged his brother, feeling him still laughing.

"Okay okay, I'll try to keep out of danger then, but I think the stunt you pulled got a little more attention now didnt it?"

Frans pulled back, letting Fred breathe again. The sand was now on Fred's shoulder and chest as well. He looked skinner than Frans remembered him to be. Fred wore a comfy looking sweater with some jeans, stylish and homie. “how?” the younger of the two asked quietly, afraid to take his eyes off Fred, in fear he would just disappear again.

He smiled, turning towards the calm sea. “It was a miracle, really. After they had pulled out the life support machine, my heart did stop.” Frans flinched, dropping his eyes in shame. “but miraculously as doc was about to leave the room, my heart started beating on its own accord. I do have still troubles with moving my limbs properly, but I'm working on it.”

He didn't know what to say, he was ashamed, blaming himself for it. Nothing would've happened if Frans hadn't had any management at all.

He turned away, pulling his legs close to his chest. "How did you find me?" he really hoped that others didn't know about his whereabouts. He enjoyed the solitude.

"Marvel told me, don't worry, nobody else knows where you are. He even refused to help the police, saying he didn't know anything, that he was just a driver and you said nothing to him."
Frans looked at his brother, confusion written all across his face.

"Police?"

"of course, half of the world is searching for you. What do you think they're gonna do if their role model and icon suddenly starts blaming his manager and then runs off to somewhere? Not leaving a trace behind. But let's drop it for now. Since you're already dragged yourself here, let's enjoy it while it lasts. Come on, I heard it's going to rain tonight. Show me your vaca place and let's make some dinner, or well, you'll make some dinner, I'll watch. "

Fred stumbled up, holding a firm grip on his younger brothers shoulder he dragged him up as well. It was going to be a long night, he thought.
Frans groaned when he realized Fred wanted him to cook.

"Let's just order something?"

"No, I believe you can do it. I'll be there to help you."

Fredrick said, a smile playing on his lips. The younger of brothers didn't feel as enthusiastic about it, he was horrible when it came to cooking.

The only time he knows the food's done is when the smoke alarm goes off.

As they walked along the beach, Fredrick held onto Frans' elbow to keep balance. "Was it why you became so distant? Because you felt stuck?" if there was a way to describe the sound of Fred's voice, it'd be a chocolate fountain. His voice was quiet and confident. Reassuring and somehow, calming even. If he ever decided to quit cooking, he should try to be therapist, Frans thought.

“Partly, yes. I felt ashamed to be honest. I fell into Timothy's sweet worded trap like a damned fly into cobweb. Besides, most of the time I didn't even know what was I doing, I wasn't really informed of anything, so I just went with it.”
The heavy arm was removed from his elbow  and with a quiet 'oof' Frans got a slap on the side of his head.

“and you're still stupid.” the older of the two shook his head, eyeing his brother who glared at him and rubbed his head.

“And you're still annoying.”

“Not quite, I just have to remind you that you're still human. Now let's keep going, you're as slow as my first computer.” Fredrick chuckled, grabbing his elbow again.

Fifty-five minutes later they were starting Frans' first time cooking mac'n'cheese and crispy chicken. Fred had comfortable taken a seat on the small kitchen.

They stared at each other, Frans loss of words. Not quite sure what to do.
"well? Aren't you going to start?"
He blinked, staring down at the table at some cheap pasta, lost of cheese, ham, chicken and mushrooms.
He looked up.

"with what?"

"well, for starters, you could take some water and put it to boil, sounds good? And then cut the ham! Come on, you can do it!"

"Uh, you can cut the ham your-"

"Nope, it's your dish, I'm just here to guide you."

Frans culped but got to work, slowly and unsurely, but he was going to do it. Burnt or not they were having dinner made by him.
Fredrick chuckled and leaned back, amused by his younger brother who didn't even see difference between salt and sugar.

It was going to be a long night.

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