" Come as you are, as you were,
as I want you to be
As a friend, as a friend,
as an old enemy"
- Nirvana

***

So quiet, so alone, so soft. So perfect was that moment. He felt rested, almost fresh. Maybe it was the fruits of his imagination but for the first time in ages, he felt good. He almost felt like himself again.
Frans blinked his green orbs open, noticing the rays of sunshine shining in from the window, covering his blue bedroom walls. His room looked rather empty, only few small statues he had gotten from his trips were resting either on drawer, floor or table. Bedroom is meant for sleeping anyways, it doesn't need to be packed with all kinds of stuff.

He yawned and stretched his legs, ruffling his dull curls he pushed himself up from the bed. He crunched his nose when he realized he hadn't changed his clothes the previous night.

Frans dragged his tired body over to the closet, where he grabbed a black T-shirt with some random brand's logo on it and some sweats. He loves sweats.
After a wonderful relaxing shower, he combed his fingers through his wet curls. It was better than combing it though.
He needs a hair cut soon.

He walked out of the bathroom, leaving the door open. He once again yawned and shook his head, droplets of cold water flying on the walls and on his messy bed.
A clock on the wall caught his attention.

His eyes widened and he was sure, he was going to get a heart attack.

It was 1pm. 1pm!

Frans hurriedly grabbed a sweater, wondering why the hell no one woke him up. He had already missed his morning interview and a shoot for some magazine.

Not caring about the mess he left behind, he took his leave. Only to run into the door. Of course, he had locked it last night! No wonder no one had woken him up. He gritted his teeth and hit the side of his face. He was so annoyed with himself.

Frans took a deep breath and unlocked the door. Quiet. Almost too quiet. But then again, it used to be quiet when he was alone. Frans had the urge to ask is anyone there, but then he would've reminded himself all those stupid people in horror movies. Besides, it's his house.

He entered the hallway, his green eyes landing on the small camera that should be working. But it wasn't, the small red dot wasn't blinking. Someone had turned the camera off.

A chill crept through his body as he noticed yet another camera had been turned off. Quietly he made his way down the hall, he stopped and peeked outside from the window, there wasn't the usual black security van or any car at all. The gates were firmly shut and no one was there.

Frans frowned and stormed downstairs. He skipped the two last stairs and glared at the colorful fish that swam in the huge aquarium.

A sting ray stopped in front of Frans, its wings flapping calmly in the water. Frans crossed his arms, furrowing his brows. The fish just kept staring at him with those soulless eyes.

"What ya staring at?" He asked, taking a step closer and bending over to the fish. It slowly turned around and swam away.

Frans scoffed and turned to the kitchen. He stopped on his tracks when his green orbs landed on the table. On the usually empty table, were now many different kinds of foods. There were eggs and bacon, some fruit yoghurt, a smoothie, pancakes, chocolate bars and even a burger. What on earth...

His stare hardened when his eyes landed on the fair haired woman. The woman he knew --or more likely wished he didn't know-- anything about.

"I though I told you to leave?"

He asked, his blood pressure rising. He didn't like nosy people, especially Eveline.

"Yes, but you just looked so tired, so I decided to stay and I hoped that once you have gotten enough rest we could have a proper conversation." She said, hope shining in her dark eyes. She was wearing her hair down, jeans and a white blouse.

Frans narrowed his eyes, his life was none of her business.

Eveline sat down when she realized that Frans wasn't going to move any time soon.
"I, uh, I made you some breakfast, I wasn't sure what you would like, so I made a little bit of everything. Darling, I tried to search up some German foods but I couldn't really-"

"Stop right there. First of all, don't call me darling. Just Frans, or King, that would suit too. Secondly, why on earth would you stay here when I told you to leave!" Why didn't this woman understand him?

But then again she had food. Lots of food.

Frans stomped over to the table and threw himself on the red bar stool, grabbing the nearest burger and smoothie of some sort.

"You've got as much time as I've got my breakfast. So, waste it or don't, I don't care." With that, Frans took the first bite of his burger. He hated to admit it, but it tasted damn good.

The woman placed her hands on the table, like she was about to read a monologue of some sort. Frans started eating loudly, just to know how fast would she get annoyed. No glint of annoyance was in her eyes.

"I'm sorry for disturbing you here yesterday. I noticed how stressed and tired you looked-"

"-so now you decided to start insulting me instead?" He asked, not looking impressed at all. The woman was older than Frans, but that didn't give her any rights to insult him.

"No, no! That's not what I meant, I just canceled all of your plans for today so that maybe w-"
Frans' eyes widened and he spilled his smoothie. She did what.

"What did you say?"

He wasn't sure he heard her right.

"I ringed Mr. Galey and told him to cancel all of your plans for today."

He blinked once, twice. Eveline didn't move as she stared at Frans, waiting for his reaction.

"You just told my boss to give me a day off so you could talk to me for... ten minutes? You just cancelled my plans for today? It's my job, my life, it's what I do for living! You don't go around and cancel everyone's lives for your own benefits! You-"

"Sit down and control your temper Frans!"

He hadn't even realized he had stood up and leaned closer to her, towering over the woman.
His posture was stiff, he was irritated and angry, perhaps even scared.
But he sure as hell wouldn't listen to a stranger, a stranger such as Eveline.

His nostrils flared as his hands formed into fists.
He forced himself to shut his eyes, but without even realizing it, in hot rage he had swiftly throw the plates to the other side of the room.

He was just so angry.

It wasn't just about Eveline anymore. Something snapped in him, something that demanded to be heard.

"Get out." He said so lowly under his breath, it didn't even sound like him anymore. Eveline looked up at him, fear and surprise obvious in her eyes.

"But dear I-"

"Get out, get out! Get out!"

Eveline stood up, clutching her purse close to her. She placed something on the table and with that, she left Frans behind and took off to her own, better future.

Frans stayed in the kitchen, the shaking of his body getting worse as the minutes passed.
He was just so done with everything.

It was getting harder to breathe, he almost groaned at that. Not again.
He shut his eyes, growling under his breath. Every being of his body was stiff as he leaned on the kitchen table. He winced as his throat closed, he pulled the roots of his curls as there were seconds of quietness. Everything froze, the sunrays turned cold blue, his mind went blank and the blood in his veins stopped flowing.
Time stopped as he struggled to find his breath again.

Then it was over. He could breathe again.

He was angry. He was angry at himself for being such a coward. He was angry because Fred was the one in a coma. He was angry because his father had gone back to Europe without even a goodbye. Angry, because he was stuck in a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. That nightmare was his life.

Most of all, angry because he had no one.

In anger, he had marched back to his room, throwing, punching and breaking everything on his way.
It was relieving, the pain his knuckles felt, the way everything he touched, broke.

He felt a tear escape down his cheek.
Angrily he swept it away.

Men don't cry, it's useless, pathetic and most of all, weak.

***