(Chapter 48) It feels like dying

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Hi Soulmates <3

Thank you for being SO patient and so sweet to me.


How do I deserve you?

<3

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Can I have a *hug* here?


What is everyone up to this almost-autumn weekend?

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Sept 21, 2019




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Jungkook leans on the elevator wall as though he is relaxed, but his heartbeat is fluttering wildly.

He lets his weight shift casually like he doesn't have a care in the world as Taehyung looks toward him.



But when the elevator doors open onto the dance studio floor,

and Jungkook is walking down the hall toward the coffee room,



he feels his footsteps speeding up of their own accord.



His legs take larger, faster strides.



A grin is creeping over his face even though he tries to look chill in front of his hyungs.


He hears Jimin laugh from behind him, and a flush blooms over Jungkook's ears.



But he rounds the corner in a rush anyway,

his dufflebag slung over his shoulder as his eyes scan the room desperately.




He feels her even as he sees her.



She's wringing her hands nervously, her laptop open in front of her.

She wasn't looking at her work though, and was looking up at the doorway,

meeting Jungkook's eyes as he whirlwinds in.



She's sitting very straight, her eyes wide and posture stiff.



As their gazes meet,

her lips part like she has something to say,

too many things to say,

and warmth explodes in Jungkook's chest.




Jungkook smiles, so wide that his eyes crinkle.


He drops his bag to the floor.




"Hey," he breathes.




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Jungkook shakes his head, clearing the memory.

That had been the trip to Japan.

He had missed her so much from being away for just two days.


And that was the trip,

that was when Namjoon met his soulmate.


And Jungkook had had no idea.

He had been so caught up with his own soulmate bonding.




He closes the text message from Hoseok:


Just so you know, Namjoon met his soulmate.

On our way back from Japan a month ago.



He didn't really know what to reply. The news was mind blowing.




Jungkook bounces on the balls of his feet, anxious as the elevator drops.


Parkade.

Finally.



He feels sad that he was bailing on his lunch plans with his girl-

he felt a grin on the corner of his lips as he thought that,

his girl-


but if Namjoon hyung was taking time off, then Jungkook needed to speak to him first.



The doors open as slowly as possible to Jungkook's perception, and he huffs and turns himself sideways to shove through the gap.



He sprints through the corridor, bursting through the parkade doors.


"HYUNG!" he shouts at the black SUV that is pulling out of its parking space.



The car slows

as the driver obviously hears him even through the closed windows of the car.




Namjoon rolls his window down,

his eyes wide.

"What's wrong?"




Jungkook bashes himself against the side of the car to stop his sprint full force, panting.

"If I go with you, can you look over some lyrics?"




Namjoon sighs in relief.


"Just lyrics? Jungkook, you could just text them to me."





"I know, but I just wanted to talk to you about it.

Face to face."




"Wow. Sure. I'm going to the dorms.

You can just come back with the driver hyung later. Hop in."


Namjoon shrugs at the driver, who is also looking confused.




Jungkook rounds the car and slides in through the other door,

barely nodding at driver hyung.



"Here are the lyrics." Jungkook pulls up a screen on his phone and hands it to Namjoon.




"Seatbelt please," the driver scolds at Jungkook.




It gets stuck twice as Jungkook pulls at it impatiently,

the loud thuds echoing in the car as the two other men almost roll their eyes.




The car exits the parkade, pulls into the street.


Drives a few blocks.




Namjoon finally looks up.


"Decalcomania? What does that mean?"





"Oh, it's just a word I found," Jungkook immediately breaks eye contact, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"It means like... a copy.

Um, is it any good?"




Namjoon uses his phone to look up the word.

"Transferring an image from paper onto other objects.

You're right, Jungkook, so you can say it is like a copy of a picture.

I like it, Jungkook."




Jungkook smiles.

"What about the rest?"




"It's really good. I can fix a few simple grammar things, and get it back to you," Namjoon nods.




"Thank you, hyung" Jungkook says.




"Thank you, hyung?" Namjoon pushes his brows together, looking at the maknae.

"Why are you being so serious about this, Jungkook? You chased down the car...

You want to look at me as I read this...


Is this... for her?"




Jungkook blushes.

"I heard you found your soulmate," he quips back.




Namjoon sighs and leans back into his seat.

"Yep."




"Why didn't you tell us?"




"I'm...  I'm sorry. I was still trying to make sense of it myself."

Namjoon drops his head down on the headrest.

"She's... complicated. I can tell. It's going to be complicated."




"What do you mean?" Jungkook asks, curious.




"She's not... cold, but she isn't easy to warm up to either.

She's a good person, and very confident."




Jungkook's jaw drops as a tiny grin appears on Namjoon's face.


Did he not even realize?

He was grinning just thinking about this girl?




"Was it the girl who found your phone?" Jungkook's head jerks up.




"Yes. She was in our flight cabin too. I... talked to her. During the flight."




"Hyung! I didn't know any of this! And then?"




Namjoon shakes his head.

"Let's not talk about this now, Jungkook. My head is a mess.

I'll tell you when I have it sorted out, OK?"




Jungkook exhales heavily.




"Let's talk about you. Have you been keeping up with your memories every day? You started it on our Japan trip, right?"

Namjoon turns his head to look at him.




Jungkook nods.

"Yeah. And I'm thinking I can... show her soon, maybe."




"You should. It would make her feel safe."




"But it's kind of personal, you know? It's all from... my point of view."




"A soulmate bond is personal, Jungkook.

You can't hope to get closer to her without sharing personal thoughts."




And Jungkook chews on this idea as they pull to a stop in front of the dorms.


He reaches for his phone.



I have something to show you.

Tonight after you are done with your work?



He hits send as he climbs out of the car.




"Jungkook. You're not going back to the offices with me?" the driver hyung asks.




"No, I'm going to stay here," Jungkook says.

"I have some stuff to organize."




Namjoon claps him on the back.

"Alright! Get it all organized and show her. I promise it will make things better."




Jungkook nods nervously as he follows his hyung through the front door.





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       You

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You ring the doorbell.


The door beeps and clicks open almost instantly.

Had someone been waiting right by the door?



The door is pulled open even as you reach for it.




And Jungkook's smiling face is there as he steps back,

gesturing you in.






"You have our code, why do you still ring the doorbell?" he laughs.




"Um, I just didn't want to come in unannounced," you breathe in his cologne,

a little dizzy as he leans in to close the door behind you.




"Ah," Jungkook nods understandingly, "because Hoseok hyung always sleeps in his underwear."




"Well, not, not him specifically, I just-" you fluster.




"No, it's true, he's always in his underwear," Namjoon's head pokes out from behind a wall.

"You can say it. It's OK."




Jungkook puts his arm in the space behind your back, ushering you forward.

"Come in," he says.




You take off your shoes, waving at Namjoon.


But he's busy picking up a few questionable grey socks from the floor,

his face wrinkling in disgust as he does,

trying to do it quickly before you see.


He mutters something that sounds suspiciously like

"I swear to god..."




"I'll leave you two alone," the leader says,

the handful of socks behind his back,

and with a flash of his dimples, he disappears down the hall.




"Don't worry about him. Namjoon hyung is busy writing a speech, stuff he wants to say to a girl."

Jungkook smirks and takes your laptop from you, laying it down on the coffee table.



Right.

Jimin and Yoongi had just told you earlier today that Namjoon met his soulmate.


But why would he need a speech to talk to her?




"I heard from Jimin. After you left today," you tell him.

"But why does Namjoon need to write... prepared lines?"




"Apparently she's complicated, and confident, and even hyung needs to prep in order to talk to her."

Jungkook tilts his head, like he couldn't imagine such a person.

"My guess is she's not too sure about the soulmate thing, and he wants to convince her to give him a chance."




That,

you could understand.


Soulmate bonding was a journey.

You sigh.




"C'mon."

Jungkook is offering you his empty hand, palm up, a small smile on his lips.




You place your hand in his.

His long fingers, warm, wrap around yours slowly.

He grins.



He pulls you into his bedroom, closes the door behind you again,

his chest leaning into you,

his neck right in front of your face,


and you try to keep your head from going places,


because you're just an innocent fluff.




But then you see that he's got a notebook and photographs laid out on his bed.


The pictures look really familiar.

You walk closer to peer at them,



and Jungkook rubs the back of his head, looking embarrassed.


"I... I just, I wrote down our... memories. Things that happened.

And I printed some photos. So I can remember better."



There's a picture you sent him, of you and Taehyung having sushi.

Another one, of you and Jungkook each holding a huge pizza.

One more of a sandwich that you sent him, when you had it for lunch one day.



And one photo that you remember so well, from when you first met him.


You and Jungkook sat shyly apart, each on the opposite edge of the photo.

Between you was the ocean of empty water bottles you had gone through.


It littered all the space between you and cascaded over the floor into the background.


It had been so funny to everyone, and Jimin wanted to take a picture.




"I... I didn't want all the pressure to be on you," Jungkook says softly.

"So this is like a memory diary... and if I forget, I can just read this, and look at the pictures..."




You turn to look at him, at a loss for words.

"Jungkook..."




"It isn't fair that this is all your responsibility. I don't want you to feel pressured.

So... I'll always write down my memories. And I won't lose them.

And you can take your time... figuring out how to move, and come toward me, in our dream."




You feel warm tears brimming in your eyes.

"Jungkook..."




"But... do come toward me, okay?

Come to me, please."

Jungkook takes both your hands and presses them to his chest.




"Thank you, for this," you whisper.




His dark brows crease.


"I know there's lots of reasons you wouldn't.

Why you wouldn't want the bond, why you wouldn't want me...

Why it's too hard.

I know all that.

But I want the bond. I want you.

And I don't care if it's hard."



He pulls you in, presses his chin against the top of your head.


"Please. Just...

Just don't give up on us.

Please come to me."




You hear the quiver in his voice.


You can feel his heartbeat under your palms.




And the certainty of it

anchors you

like it never had before.




"I will," you promise.


"I will go to you."







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