Ok so Ik I talk abt my friends on here a lot but Idrc

ANYWAYS

There is a guy who I really stupidly like and it's because of his personality, smile and overall hair, and I knew if I told one of my friends (gonna call her Addison) she would make fun of me and whatnot, so then I decided I wouldn't tell anyone. Then it got to a point where I liked him so much that I had to tell someone so I told one of my friends who I knew wouldn't say anything about it, and she didn't which I'm thankful for.

Then I told my sister because I started liking him even more and had to tell another person. I knew she was gonna make comments about it and she did, especially when he was in the room. She made so many comments that Addison started to realize who it was and on Friday during last period (Addison, the guy and I are in the same class), she said that I have terrible taste. I told her that it was because of his personality and she laughed at me in like a judgey way or whatever, even though she sometimes likes guys because of their personalities and also Addison only has last period with him when he's in 3 OF MY CLASSES! Like she doesn't know anything about him and has no right to judge who I like.

I mostly talk about two of my friends on here: Addison and lets-call-her-Avery. They are the two people who judge me when I like someone whether it's fictional, real-life, celebrity doesn't matter, and they say that my standards are low, which they are not (but they aren't terribly high either). But them saying that offends me but I don't want to say anything. Like last time I tried talking to Avery about how I felt like I was being treated we ended up not talking for a week and somehow slightly ruined my relationship with my cousin and didn't talk to Addison for a while either judt because of one comment (that was supposed to be a joke) that she blew way out of proportion.

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense, I'm just rambling on at this point. I could honestly make a whole book of things that my friends do that makes me feel bad about myself. I want to do something about it, I really do, but I've known Addison since the first day of kindergarten (12 years ago) and Avery since 3rd grade (~7 years ago). I still love them, I really do, but some days I actually wonder if they are fake or not :/

Ok that's it for my vent today :))

Good day/good night