"You must really hate me." I mumbled as I sat in the backseat of our car. I was stuck in between multiple bags full of clothes and shit.

"Now honey why would you say that?" My dad asked as he kept his eyes on the road. My mom looked up from her phone.

"I don't know... maybe because  you're moving me from everything I love .."

"your not old enough to love anything.. this is a great move for you an it will ONLY benefit you in the future." My mom preached.

"Yea because taking me away from everything is a great idea... all my friends...." and my girlfriend. I said in my head. I came out two months ago and now all of a sudden we're moving to a new town and abandoning everything we had. I knew it was a mistake the moment they told me she couldn't come over anymore. Apparently they had to make sure to crush, kill, and burn any chance of us working.

"And you'll make new friends and have new opportunities, this is an amazing area."

"You mean a predominately white area" I rolled my eyes.

My mom turned in the front seat looking back at me. "And What is that suppose to mean? I'm white."

"Yea mom clearly..."

"I understand that you're upset but you are young. You don't know everything we know. You need to fix that attitude because we are doing all  of this for YOU. Brentwood has one of the lowest crime rates in the United States. It had the best schools, the list goes on."

"Yea and black people are 3% of the population." I cut in. I squinted my eyes. Is she really going to act like I don't have access to google too? I know what this place is.

"I don't have any control over that. Black ppl are one of the smallest populations anyway."

"Compared to 86% mom. That's almost 90% white."

"And what's wrong with that. Don't forget that you are not fully black."

"How could I?" I asked running my fingers through my heat fried hair. "You try to remind me that you hate that side of me every 20 seconds"

"Hey! Now that's enough" my dad called out trying to cut tension.

"You watch the way you talk to me! You think you're grown and that's the problem now! I have absolutely no problem with black people! I married your dad! I just don't want you walking around ghetto fabulous, in the streets, with three baby daddies and-"

"Wow, is that how all black people act? Please continue to enlighten me on how you're not racist." I crossed my arm.

She reached back and smacked me.

" I am not racist. You don't ever use that word against me. It's over used and losing meaning anyway. Anytime a black person doesn't get things handed to them it's racist this, racist that but they aren't even willing to WORK for what they have."

"You're husbands is a BLACK engineer  who could afford to up and move as soon as you found out I was gay!"

"Here we go with this again! You're not gay Samayah!"

At that moment I shut down. I didn't have shit else to say to her.

I texted my girlfriend Alexus.

Mayah: I swear I'm bout to tuck and roll out of this car.

Lexus: it can't be that bad baby

Mayah: oh really? So far my mom has reminded me that all black people are worthless thugs, I'm not fully black, and there's no way in hell that I'm gay 🙄

Lexus: that's because she don't how good her daughters head game is 🥴

Mayah: lmfao gross bae. I don't want her to know... I just want her to stop being a bitch.

Lexus: your mom really isn't that bad. She's funny, and usually cool.

Mayah: Yea until she moved me 7 hours away from my home town because she found out I was gay.

Lexus: well yea. That part stung a little.. a lot. I miss you already.

Mayah: I miss you... you're going to make me cry 😭

"Ugh finally! I have to tinkle!" My mom said as the car lunged to a stop.

I was so busy texting Alexus I didn't even notice we pulled up. I looked outside.

Ugh no! It's worst then I expected. Our house was so nice in our home town. We didn't really live close to anyone, there was a whole lake that started in my backyard. But these houses were basically sitting on top of each other all stuffed in the same gated community by some greedy ass contractor. The front yard was so tiny compared to what I was use to. It felt like there was no privacy. Multiple lawns were littered with republican bullshit.

The movers were still moving the last of the stuff. I watched my mom as she quickly ran into the house.

"Honey, I know this is different.. I'm going to miss out on some things too. Trust me, my beer buddies.. this was just too good of an opportunity to pass up. Just think about everything this town offers."

"Yea for white people."

"You have to stop making this about race."

"Why? If I don't somebody else will."

He sighed "everything will be fine... please try to be positive." He said before getting out of the car.

I wanted to steal his keys hop in the front seat and book this shit straight  back to my girl. It's so unfair. I got out and stood in the front yard looking around. I caught a few people watching from their windows. Two of them closed the curtains when I caught them. I rolled my eyes and grabbed some of the bags from the back seat. They were going to ask me to do it whether I wanted to or not. I figured let's just get it out of the way.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Mom asked as I walked in. I never said the house wasn't beautiful or big. It's big as fuck. Way bigger then our old house... but with less land, which to me is backwards as fuck.

"Yea, it looks nice" I said with a fake smile.

"Well that's an understatement" my mom scoffed. "Rigghhtttt there" she said directing the movers that were hanging a painting over the fireplace. "Honey, why don't you go check out your room? I think you'll like it" she said the last part all sing songy like we didn't just have a whole argument in the car.

I walked up the marble stairs. Maybe I should've asked her which room it was first. There was four closed doors. I opened the first one. Apparently we have a gym room now. There was two treadmills, a weightlifting thing, and a yoga ball in there. I looked at myself in  the mirror that took up a whole wall.

I went into the next room. It was a nice ass bathroom. It had a tub separate from the walk in shower, and on of those technology toilets that for some reason does more then just flushes.

I was relieved when I finally found my room. I was tired of carrying those bags around, but more then anything I was impressed. They must be trying to bribe me into happiness because my room looked like my dream room. There was a brick accent wall, strip lights all around the room, a huge bed with a new laptop sitting on top of it. I even got a big ass vanity space to put all my makeup and hair supplies.

I opened a door thinking it was the closet. My mouth dropped. Damn I have my own bathroom?

"It's nice isn't it." My mom said scaring the shit out of me. I jumped.

"Y-Yea, I really like it"

"Good... maybe some of that attitude will go away.... if not now definitely when you see the pool"

My eyes widened. I had been asking for a pool since I turned like seven at my old house.

"Well let's see it then"

Lexus: are you there yet?

I read the message then stuffed my phone in my pocket. I was ready to see this pool.

After getting more of a tour of the house I felt like I was having a change of heart maybe this could work.

Ding Dong

"Ahh neighbors!!" My mom hopped up off the couch excited.

She walked towards the door then looked back at me. "Come on Samayah. We need to make a good impression"

I rolled my eyes sliding off the warm comfortable couch and coming up to the door.

Ding dong.

"Okay, big smile" my mom said before opening the door.

It's almost like the lady and her daughter on the other side rehearsed the same thing.

They had big fake smiles as they met eyes with my mom... less when they saw me. The mom was so surprised by seeing me she forgot the fake ass lines she rehearsed for a second.

"Hi! I'm Anne, and this is my daughter Sophie.. we just thought we should hop on by to meet our new neighbors .. we made you guys some brownies.." she winced a little looking at me. "Oooo, I didn't think about this"

Her daughter stared at me the whole time.

"Well I am Kristy, this is my daughter Samayah.thank you so much for the kind introductions and the brownies! I'm a chocoholic"

Anne laughed like it was hilarious, I'm sure she was thinking about my dad.

"And 'brownie' isn't offensive to black people" I chimed in looking at her.

"Oh, I -"

"No, really thank you so much.. please excuse her, it was a long ride."

Anne giggled uncomfortably. "Well I'm sure once she gets some rest her, and Sophie could make great friends."

"Aww that's so sweet. I hope so she's very nervous about fitting in."

"Mom" I glared.

Sophie cracked a little smile. I can tell already she's the damn devils spawn.

When my mom shut the door her fake smile faded quickly. "Seriously?"

"You should be asking her that. She's the one acting like food can be a fucking slur."

"Watch your mouth!" She said pointing at me.

"I'm going to my room." I said turning on my heel

She grabbed my arm. " your attitude has been unbearable ever since we told you we were moving!"

"Hmmm I wonder why."

"I don't CARE why,  what I do know is that shit better stop."

"Okay." I said snatching away from her and going upstairs.

I laid out on my bed annoyed and pulled out my phone.

Alexus texted me again during that.

Lexus: don't you go flirting with no bitches

I laughed.

Mayah: you don't gotta worry about no shit like that. It's all white girls.

Lexus: I don't know.. you're a hornball... At least for me 😈

Mayah: only for you bae. Trust me. I don't want any of these hoes.

A notification popped up on my phone.

Sophia Foster sent you a friend request.

I rolled my eyes. How did she know my last name?

I accepted it.

My phone dinged.

Sophie: my mom forced me to add you.

Mayah: wow, I guess we both have overly controlling moms.

Sophie: clearly.

Mayah: well at least I know somebody here now.

I didn't want to be nice to her but I figured might as well try to make some friends.

Sophie: Yea... no. I'm not your friend. Don't go around telling people that.

Mayah: wow, bitchy much?  I mean that's cool. Nobody said I wanted to be your friend.

I left our messages and went to her page. That makes a lot of sense. Her cover photo was her on a boat holding a big Trump 2020 flag behind her.

I'm sure she looked at my hippie ass love is love page and almost threw up.

Sophie: so your a lesbian?

Mayah: why the fuck are you still talking to me?

Sophie: you should really watch your tone with me. I control a lot of what happens at our school. You wouldn't want to be on my bad side.

Mayah: good thing I don't give a fuck about any of that.

Sophie: you will. 🥱

Mayah: lmao wrong bitch.

Sophie: we'll see.

Before the night was over one family brought us a casserole, and another brought by a cake. Of course my dad was lit. I stood in the kitchen watching him fix himself a brownie and cake plate.

He sighed "Don't look at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you hate it here already. All I asked was for you to give it a chance.. you haven't even gone to school yet."

"Yet I can see the bs from a mile away."

"Give it a week."

"And then what?"

He covered the cake back up then leaned against the counter. "Then I'll do whatever you need to do to be comfortable here. Samayah we just bought this house. We can't just change our mind and go back but what I can do is make sure that you're happy here."

"Even if I asked for you to let Alexus move in with us?"

He closed his eyes like I shot him or something.

"Fuck it, whatever." I said starting to walk away.

"No, no... Mayah come back."

I took a deep breath and turned back around.

"That's definitely going to take more then giving it a week. Give it a month and if you hate it... I mean absolutely dread it here... I will TALK to her parents about her moving in. But I can't make any promises that would be ultimately their decision."

A smile formed on my face. I had no doubt in my mind that I will continue to hate this place. At least We can possibly hate this place together.

"Thank you dad!" I said squeezing him.

He shook his head. "Don't tell your mom. I'll talk to her myself."

I rushed upstairs excited and FaceTimed Alexus.

"Hey baby!" She smiled. "I miss you"

"I miss you too bae."

"How's the new house? You have to give me a tour"

I walked around showing her everything that I thought was worth showing. "And this.... might be our room"

She giggled "girl what are you talking about?"

"My dad was trying to be all captain save a hoe and he was like 'if you don't like it here after  a month maybe I can convince Lexus's parents to let her stay with us."

She covered her mouth "no way.... and what did your mom say?"

"You know his pussy ass ain't say it around her."

"Baby you really be doing your parents dirty they're kinda cool."

"Yea, until it's about my feelings. Then my mom is super bitch and my dad is her wimpy side kick, pussyboy."

Alexus thought that was so funny... I'm serious tho.

"Ughh you should've been here. I already met the fakest bitch on the block. Hell maybe on the planet. Her name is Sophie and her and her mom came over acting all holy and sweet.then the bitch hit me up on Facebook telling me we aren't friends and acting like she was the fucking queen of the school."

"Oh god.. Mayah, what did you do?"

"Nothing.. I just told her she was being a bitch and I don't give a fuck about social hierarchy."

"Mayah!"

"What? She really fucking tried me."

"Mmm what if you regret it?"

"I won't. Fuck her and anybody who considers her a friend. She's clearly a bitch."

"Well sometimes you have to suck it up until you can make your own friends."

"I'm fine. I don't want to be here anyway. Maybe I'll be such an outcast my parents will see how fucked up it was to move me in the first place."

"Okay, I can't argue with that. It was very fucked up of them. I'm very upset they took my baby away.but you really should try to make the best of it."

"I think I'm ready to go to bed" I mumbled. I'm tired of trying to 'make the best of shit' and make sense of things. Why do I have to be the one to be the bigger person? 

"We should sleep on the phone." She pouted a little.

Honestly she pissed me off  with all that be the bigger person shit. I wasn't in the mood.

"No, bae I'm sorry you know we'd just end up, up all night talking."

She pouted more "okay.. fine. Call me right after you get out of school tomorrow!" She demanded.

I giggled a little. "Bae I will."

I spent forever this morning trying to flat iron my hair and make it look smooth. It's so damaged it still ends up looking kinda puffy. I huffed unplugging my flat  iron and running my fingers through it. My hair is actually getting kinda long but most of it is fried as fuck.

The only plus to going to this white ass school is there isn't a real dress code. At least I can dress how I want. I put on my favorite tie dye tube top and the jeans that Hug my ass. I was actually feeling cute today. I put on my lashes and filled in my brows. I was in the middle of putting earrings on when my mom walked in without knocking.

She looked me up and down. "Do you really have to go to school like that on your first day?"

"Like what? I think I look cute."

"You look ghetto honey. It's trashy"

I furrowed my brows. "How? My jeans are high waisted and my crop top is barely showing any skin."
"I just don't want the other families thinking we are trash just because you want to dress like it "

No one ever called my clothes ratchet or ghetto at my old school... but I guess that's because 38% of my classes was black... instead of 2%

"Wow, are you done tearing down the little confidence I had?"

She threw her hands up as if she had no idea that what she said was going to offend me.

" if you are you can leave."

" I don't know who taught you all this attitude but what you need to do is unlearn it."

She said before walking out of the door.

I know who taught me it. My aunt Tasha. I used to be obsessed with hanging out with her when I turned in like 10. She's from my dad side. And one of the only black family members that tried to stay in contact with me. She would take me to get all types of braids and twists in my hair and even sometimes buy me clothes.But of course that was too good to be true.Right when I was becoming more in touch with not only my black side but my feelings and myself in general, my mom told my dad she didn't think it was a good idea for us to hang out anymore. Her and aunt Tasha Fell out after my dad told her. I remember her yelling at my mom that she was trying to "drain all the black out of me" she said that right before my mom sent me to my room because the conversation was "too grown" for me to be a part of.

I looked over myself one more time then grab the jacket before leaving my room. I didn't feel like I was showing too much but after the way she carried on I figured I could cover up a little.

Apparently at rich schools the kids spend their spare time out in the food court by the waterfall just like in the movies.There was nobody in the hallway to show me the way, I just happen to pass by a long window. The first thing to catch my eye was a blonde With big blue eyes. Ugh Sophie. The sun was bouncing off of her Heart shaped face and long smooth looking  legs. She was wearing some really short high waisted shorts and a teal blueish  halter top that made her eyes pop. I never said she wasn't beautiful but her attitude sure isn't. I must've caught  her eye too. She really does think she runs everything. She was sitting on top of a table right across from the waterfall people were sitting at the table too, but they were all sitting on the actual benches under her as if they were beneath her.

I found the exit and went out of the door. Honestly I was just trying to scope the place out see where I'd be spending most of my time.

"Bonquisha!.... Shaneiqa.... Lakeisha?"

I glanced over to see who she was talking to, because it sure wasn't me.

"You! Yes you!" She giggled waving me over. Her little friends were giggling and whispering too.She had this fake ass smile on. I was close by but I wasn't about to walk  over there just for her to be a bitch. " what's your name?!" She called out. I thought about ignoring her again. But everybody srurrounding her was tuned in. Including the table around hers.

"It's Samayah." I said annoyed walking up.

She crinkled her face as if she was confused.

"I