Today marks a week since I found their bodies.

Or rather, Snape did. He handled it all and kept me at a safe distance. Because of him I've been able to grieve my own way, which did not exactly follow the five steps. Instead, I feel all the emotions at once. Anger, regret, guilt, rage, confusion, relief, pity, both for them and myself. Then the next second, I feel nothing at all. Just Snapes soothing voice on the phone with the police (luckily this was a muggle crime, I doubt the Aurors would be willing to cooperate with him) or his arms around me. His love language appears to be draping heavy things over me, and honestly, I'm not complaining. He keeps me grounded.

The phone hangs up rather aggressively and I eye him as he enters the room, hoping he'll tell me what happened without me having to ask. He does.\

"They narrowed it down to two suspects who were found pawning an old record player." He paused, making sure I was following along, "or trying to anyway. They destroyed the man's shop when he said it was worthless."

I nodded at him before fully processing what he was saying.

"They have them in custody now. If it's them, we should know within a few days, if not a few hours."

I thank him and he puts his hand on my shoulder to reassure me, then goes back to the kitchen, either to make us food or to make more phone calls. I don't stay long enough to find out.

I take a shower, also for the first time in a week. It feels good, though a little overstimulating. I use the shampoo I bought for Sev, and to my surprise the bottle is half empty. People have been calling him greasy since first year and yet he might be more hygienic than me, especially in this state. He really is misunderstood.

I pull on a simple outfit that I hadn't unpacked from my luggage yet. Just sweat pants and a t-shirt. Comfortable. Presentable. With big enough pockets to hold my wand, I'm going to need it.

* * * * *

Familiar arms wrap around me, not so tenderly this time. I scream but the sound isn't mine, it sounds too angry, too pained. It can't end like this. It can't.

The English legal system is too lenient on men like these, men that can kill for nothing more than a few hundred pounds. They'll get a few years and be released back into society to kill someone else's parents. I can't let that happen.

Everyone looks at us like we are crazy. Like I'm the crazy one and not these two bastards that sit before the court, pleading innocent. Security comes towards us but Snape is already ripping me front he building, from justice.

He doesn't stop when we are outside. He drags be down the street as I protest, loudly. But he is too strong, too unyielding. His hand around my wrist is more than enough to restrain me, having already seized my wand.

When we are out of sight, he pulls his out and suddenly we are in our bedroom, and he is pacing back and forth.

"What were you thinking?!" He yells.

"I was thinking," I scream back, louder, "those murderers deserve to die. They took two innocent lives. Why should we spare theirs?"

He shakes his head, trying to calm himself, "we don't get to decide that."

My yelling does not end there, he can't talk me out of this, " and who does? That judge? That jury? What would they know, they didn't lose their parents because of those bastards. I did. I get to decide. Its me who needs justice."

He looks at me now, and I take a step back, falling on the bed.

"I can't let them get away with this."

"I wouldn't let that happen, but what you did today was stupid. Exposing yourself would have gotten you in serious trouble with the Ministry, and who knows what the muggle's law enforcement would make of it." He crouched before me, "and worst of all, what would it turn you into?"

"Severus, if you're implying that I'd be a murderer for seeking justi-"

"No, not a murderer per-say, but you'd never be able to live it down. It's not just when done out of anger."

Cruelly, I turn the conversation on him, "who are you to judge me, were you not a Death Eater?"

His hands drop and his face turns to stone and I immediately know what he was trying to tell me. I can't take that back. Not after the damage was done.

He stands and looks at me, as if waiting for an apology. I don't know what to say. He just sighs and leaves the room, leaving me alone with all the terrible decisions I've made today.