A girl slipped on a banana peel and  fell down a flight of stairs.

At the end of the bumpy road, she encountered a light.

"Who are you?" Asked she, skeptical of this blindingly golden man. The golden man only smiled.

"I am god, and I am responsible for your death."

__________

Yan Jiahui abruptly closed her phone, taking in a deep breath.

Then, after calming her raging emotions, she began to read again.

__________

"I, I, I died?" The girl stuttered, staring tearfully up at the golden man. The golden man smiled sadly, and offered her a hand. "I died, from... from slipping on a banana?"

The man nodded, a hint of guilt in his sad smile. "I was eating a banana, and I threw it carelessly. That banana peel stumbled upon your path, and you died because of me."

The girl took his hand and stood up. She hung her head low, looking quite dejected. The man felt an immense amount of guilt, and after a short while, he continued. "However, I can..."

"What can you do?" Immediately, the girl's head snapped back up to meet the man's eyes. She then grasped the man's hands close to her chest. "You'll bring me back, right? Right? You're a god after all, please bring me back!"

The god shook his head ruefully. "I can't mess with the balance of the worlds. However, we are in dire need of someone to help repair the other worlds. If you help me with this, then I'll see what I can do."

The girl nodded, excitement and hope on her youthful face. "I agree!" She cried out happily, and the god smiled.

"Then, it's a deal."

~end of chapter 1~

~to be continued~

-last updated 24-10-2007-
_________

.....What the fuck! I opened my pants and this is what you show me?

Yan Jiahui felt really, really wronged. She was so excited too!

That last updated 24-10-2007, it has been 11 years since it last updated!!! It was a good start too!!

However, Yan Jiahui couldn't help but subconsciously rank the story contents, even though it was only one chapter.

Main Character's IQ.... 3/10.

Mystery....6/10.

Plot.....too overused, but still good. 6/10.

Grammar....pretty good. 6/10

Update time? Negative endless nines! 囧

She started to analyse it as well. From the first chapter, this "god"'s deviousness could be seen a mile away. It was obvious that this guy was planning for her death! What kind of author would use slipping as a banana as a death, so this must be a ploy!

Plus, how can the main character agree so easily? So stupid! Even if it's a BG novel, the MC shouldn't be so stupid....

She felt really, really unsatisfied. However, just as she was about to try to search for another story, she was called by her manager.

"Joy! Come here! We'll start shooting the movie soon!"

With a sigh, Yan Jiahui set down her phone. After scrutinising herself in the mirror, she felt that her appearance was quite fine, and then left the dressing room.

Time to work.

___________

Yan JiaHui, young miss of the music-oriented Yan family. At age 12, she earned countless awards for her skills at the chinese zither, and age 15, she debuted as an actress with the support of her family.

Now, at the fine age of 22, she is the most famous Movie Empress. Appearing in countless dramas and movies, there was no one in the world that didn't know of her name.

With smooth, luscious black hair that flowed down to her mid-chest, a full pair of lips that is always coloured in red, and a devious smirk on her face, there was also no one in the world that could resist her charms. Except if they were gay men, or straight women.

She donated a large amount to charity every year, and was always helping at whatever hospital, orphanage, and other places that she could find. Everyone could say that she was a mary sue character in real life!

However, she had a major secret. A secret that only her closest friends knew. A secret that she wouldn't let leak out to protect her own image. Yes, that secret was-

- She is in fact, a rotten woman.

Rotten? What was rotten? This is rotten!

Shipping actor A and actor B together even if they hadn't interacted once, shipping model B and model C together, searching up RPFs of her fellow actors.....

Following the porn blogs that was centered around foreign idols, reading BL novels, reading BL mangas....

Hehe.

Even though Yan JiaHui was a rotten woman, she could in fact say that she herself was very pure and innocent.

....Oh, who was she kidding. She would willingly go to bed with men or women. As she was a face-devil, anyone beautiful was worthy~

If her fans knew about this, they would cry tears of blood.

But did Yan JiaHui care?

Nope. It was their fault for creating up images that was only true to their imaginations. Sorry to disappoint, but the real Yan JiaHui is a rotten woman~ She prefers to ship Actor A and Actor B together rather than being shipped with them~

"Joy! Are you doing that again?" A woman with short black hair came, her hands on her hips, and her heels tapping on the asphalt. Yan JiaHui only smiled.

"Doing what, Mia?" She asked innocently, as if she hadn't been monologue-ing for the past 30 minutes. Mia's eyebrows twitched, and her lips curled downwards.

"Ah, you..! Nevermind." She harrumphed and crossed her arms in front of her chest, also turning away. Yan JiaHui laughed, and pulled Mia closer, until their foreheads were touching. She could feel each other's breath intermingling, and she smiled.

"Well...if you give me a kiss, I might tell you..." She whispered, and pulled back, enjoying Mia's red face. She then laughed again. "Kidding, kidding! It was only a joke, don't- Eek! What are you going to do with that?"

Mia was holding her purse up threateningly, and was glaring at Yan JiaHui with a flushed face. "You, even though you are the movie empress, you are still so shameless...!"

Yan JiaHui held up both her hands in a submitting gesture, and offered Mia a sheepish smile. She then backed away carefully, protecting herself preemptively from Mia's childish strikes.

Mia harrumphed, and when the light turned green, she started to walk, Yan JiaHui following close behind her. It was silent for a while, before Mia turned back, and opened het mouth to speak. "You know, this month-"

Yan JiaHui's eyes widened, looking at the truck-

She reached out, and pushed Mia out of the way, taking on the full impact of the truck crashing onto her.

____________

When she died, she didn’t expect to die with a car-crash. She wanted to die at least in the hospital, maybe with her family or friends, or even in the wild, getting mauled to death. Be as it may, she died with a car-crash, and slowly died because of reasons.

A truck driver had fell asleep at the wheel, and it swerved - crashing into her. She had barely managed to push her best friend out of the way, and her best friend looked at her as if she was crazy and dying.

She coughed up a laugh, blood sputtering out of her lips. Ha, she thought with grim amusement, maybe I am crazy.

“No!” Her best friend screamed, and she hears the footsteps of Mia, while she screamed at others to call for an ambulance. Silly Mia, I’m already doomed for death. She thought, staring up at the blue eyes of her best friend, as blue as the sky, as blue as the sea. As blue as blueberries and other things that are blue. “Don’t die don’t die don’t die-”

She cracked a wry smile. “A bit too late, isn’t it?” she muttered, and felt a liquid drop on her forehead. Damn, her whole body hurts - feels like she had been knocked by a ton of hammers at once. When was the ambulance coming again?

“No,” Mia murmured, denying the fact that she’s dying, denying the fact that her life was slipping away. She wanted to brush off the tears that gathered in her blue eyes, but she didn’t think that she could. Her body felt numb. Her arms felt numb. It was….starting to feel cold..

It’s so cold….. coldcoldcoldcoldcoldcoldcoldcoldcold-

Every breath hurts - is this how death feels like? - She momentarily blanked out, pain stabbing at her chest -  it’s so cold….

“Hey,” she spoke softly, wincing at the pain she felt. “Hey,” she said again, bringing Mia’s tearful attention back to her. “It’s okay. I’ll probably get reincarnated again, and when you die we’ll meet each other again.”

Mia barked out a callous laugh, tears streaming down her beautiful face. “You know that only happens in the novels you read, right?” She refuted, her tears falling onto Yan JiaHui's bloody face.

Her face scrunched up in half pain and mock humour. “Gurl, let me dream.” she spoke, coughing again. Aww, did one of her lungs rupture? Was she really going to die here? Suffocating in her own blood?

“You dream too much,” She heard Mia mutter, and she laughed again, not being able to restraint herself. Mia had stopped crying, which was good, she couldn’t stand Mia’s crying face.

“If I do get reincarnated…” she muttered, and before she could speak the last of her sentence, the cold enveloped her.

A beat of silence. Mia was waiting for her friend to continue, to say something.

She did not.

She could not.

The dead…..do not speak.

“....Joy?” Mia spoke, looking at her best friend, her best friend who shouldn’t have died. “Joy? JiaHui? H-hey, this isn’t funny.”

And yet….

Yan JiaHui did not awake. Her black hair was spread around her, as if it was a halo, and blood was dribbling out of her mouth. Her hands were laying by her side, limp and one of them was broken. Her body is covered by blooming bruises, and a pool of blood was slowly travelling through her clothes.

Mia screamed, a scream so heart wrenching and filled with agony that the passersby’ heart was hit with a pang of sadness themselves. She screamed and sobbed, denying Yan JiaHui’s death, and when the medic came, she resisted, wanting to see Yan JiaHui one last time, to imprint Yan JiaHui’s last memories into her mind, to burn Yan JiaHui’s last moments in this world.

Her best friend had died.

Her best friend had died.

Joy had died.

Rain dribbled down from dark and gloomy clouds, washing away the remnants of a tragedy…a tragedy which would not happen if Mia had been more aware.

Not even a week later, Movie Empress Yan JiaHui's death was announced to the world. Everyone mourned for her, even those who were not her fans. Along with her death, Mia, her manager, released a press conference.

She spoke about how Yan JiaHui, Joy, had enjoyed reading fantasy novels. She spoke in detail about how Yan JiaHui was human like everyone else, that she was not infallible, that she had flaws as well. She spoke on how Yan JiaHui was an avid lover of BL stories, with the hopes that this would clear the stigma of rotten women and men all around the world. She added about how if, the youths would write more stories, and BL stories, Yan JiaHui would be happy in her heaven.

Thus, begins the rage of BL novels in the internet and the world. Mia knew, if Yan JiaHui were to be reincarnated, she would love to see all of these new novels that she hadn't read before.

Mia looked up into the starry night sky, guilt still heavy on her heart. Joy, are you happy in your BL heaven...?

_________

Yan JiaHui woke up with a sharp gasp. She didn't expect her body to be free of pain, and when she raised her hand up, there was no heaviness nor blood coating it. She frowned, confusion marring her face. "What the fuc-"

Suddenly, there was a long string of bleeps that covered her indecent speech. Even her mouth was turned into mosaic!

Ohoho, this looked fun. With a sudden  newfound interest in swearing, she started to swear like a sailor. If Mia was here right now, she would have washed her mouth with soap and told her to swallow it!

"Bleep, bleep,bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep. This is fun!" Yan JiaHui laughed, feeling quite amused. "Is this how purgatory is like? They bleep the bleep out of cusses?"

"Anyways..." She mumbled to herself, wiping the tears of mirth away. She looked around the space, which was all white, white and white.

If Yan JiaHui had to describe it, it was like waking up in a hospital,only that there was nothing around. No walls, no floors, no beds, no medical instruments, no humans, no plants, only white.

Having determined that there was nothing in the space, she looked down, examining her body.

....wait, where did her boobs go?

No wonder it felt so light!

Yan JiaHui prodded and poked at her now genderless body, finding it to be better amusement than swearing.

Suddenly, there was a voice.

[Sorry I'm late!! I am the 000 Happy Ending System, nice to meet you!]

A system?

Does thst mean she will be transported into different worlds?

Waaaahhh!! So excited!!!

But first, one should never get too hasty. Before agreeing, one has to know all the terms and conditions.

"A system?" She asked doubtfully, raising an eyebrow. "What did I do to receive a system? How should I know thst you're not some kind of man-eating system?"

000 was very confused. Slowly, it answered Yan JiaHui. [Well.... the host have completed the requirements....]

"What requirements?" Yan JiaHui asked again, dubious.

[Uhm..... this system doesn't know... and this system promises that it won't eat the host!]

Yan JiaHui digested this piece of information slowly. She then asked. "What kind of system are you?"

[No happy end system!]

....what.

"No, no happy end system...?" Yan JiaHui repeated, feeling quite unsure. The system flew up and down, as if nodding.

[Yes!]

"But your name is..."

[I am the 000 Happy End System! Zero Happy endings!]

Yan JiaHui's mouth clicked shut. Now she understood.

"So if I accept, I have to make... bad ends?"

[Yes!]

...Wow.

Out of the norm, usually other systems would make the host achieve the best and happiest ending there is. It seems that this system is weird by itself.

It seems that there are no dangers hidden, Yan JiaHui thought. During the years she had been an actress, she had learnt how to judge people by the tone of their voice, their looks, and how gullible they were.

Fine, then. Might as well accept. She has nothing to lose anyways.

Relieving a sigh, she looked up at the system, and quickly thought of several conditions on the spot.

"Okay then, I'll agree." Just as the system looked as if it was about to cheer, she cut it off. "But! I have several conditions."

[Okay!]

"One, in all the worlds you send me into, I have to be a male!"

She has no wishes to go through period pains, nor back pains.

[That is doable!]

"Two, whenever I need help, you have to assist me!"

[It is my duty to do so!]

"Third, in all the worlds I have to be sent to, I have to be... a bottom."

Once a bottom, always a bottom.

[Uh, okay...]

"Fourth and the last. Once I complete all the tasks you give me, I can be granted three wishes."

[Okay! System doesn't have a problem with that!]

With this, naturally she is quite satisfied.

"Okay then, that's all. Let's go to the first world, we don't have time to be sexy!"

The system cheered for a while, and then with a flash of bright light, both of them disappeared from the white place.