Riley's POV

I can't stand her looking at me like that. Green eyes over pooling with waves of insufferable anguish. Her gaze isn't bright and clear and steady anymore, but threatening to breakout in tears, and looking at me with an alarming lack of hope. Her freckled hands don't know what do with themselves, nervously fumbling at her sides.

"You're..."

"I'm not in love you, Jamie. I love someone else." I finish it for her. Her freckled face crumbles, and I fight to keep a straight face. I hate doing this to her, I always let her down, I hate hurting her, yet that's all I do to her.

"Not that you're not important to me, Jamie, because you are." I admit. She is. Jamie is important to me. Arguably the most important thing in my life right now.

"Am I?" She quietly asks, her green eyes reflecting the light like pieces of shards of broken glass.

"Yes," I try to find a way to prove it to her, but nothing seems good enough for Jamie. "Yes, Jamie, yes."

I have such a powerful urge to escape. Run away from that teary eye gaze as fast as I can, but Jamie's crushed look keeps me rooted to the ground. No matter how much guilt weighs me down, no matter how that crushed look makes my skin crawl, I can't muster up my legs to walk out on her like this.

"Just tell me what to say to fix this." I plead, unsure what to do with my hands. Do I comfortably hug her, or is too upset at me? Tears threatening to fall, her green eyes fall shut like she's been punched.

"How?" She mutters so quietly it's as if she mouthed it. "How, when, why." She runs her hands through her red hair.

"Do you really want to know the gory details, Jamie?"

"I need to know that whatever you're picking over me is real." She manages a small nod.

"What?" Something in me feels bruised. Bruised brutally hard. "I have to validate to you? I just told you how I feel. Don't you believe me?" I spit. Declarations of love are nothing like the movies. They don't come out easily, not at all! Saying it out loud is demanding, it's harsh, and leaves me hollow.

"That's not what I meant." Her eyes pop open to reveal the worry in her eyes. "I want to know why I'm not enough."

"Why should I feel bad for having feelings for someone who just isn't you? I'm in love with someone. Life isn't a book or a movie, where the one girl with half ass cliche personality ends up the only other male. I'm not obligated to be with you! My feelings for her are not irrelevant because we had a one night stand."

"Not just a one night stand." She breathes. "We share a home. We share a life together."

"It was just sex. It wasn't a binding contract. It does cement us together." I feels like the walls are caving in on me. I feel like this is getting more pointless the longer we hash this out, with sentence just worsening than salvaging. It's aggravating. It's maddening. It's agony.

"I can't bare this." Jamie wipes tears before they fall.

"Let me make it easy on you." I growl, storming out. I'd slam the door behind me, but the fucking lock.

Jamie's POV

"Do you think he's coming back?" I whisper, curled up next to the puppy in bed. Through the darkness I easily see his blonde fur as he ignores me and sinks his little teeth into the back of my hand.

"Maybe he'll disappear for another week." I whisper. "Perhaps, longer. Maybe a month this time."

"Maybe never." For the first time since our fight I break out in tears. I teared up earlier, but now alone and pathetic in the dark, I wail. My shoulders tremble as big, hot tears rush down my face, and hang off my jaw. My throat swells up, yet I can't get a grip. Ugly sobs choke me, but I can't find enough strength to stop.

Though, the blubbering is nothing compared to this... searing pain.

I'm aware and conscious of every inch of my skin, my flesh feels itchy, as if I'm filthy from big hands handling it. Inside, I feel carved up and hollow. Tampered with and broken. My feelings are burning me from the inside out, and threatening to erupt.

I cry a bit harder, my entire body shaking violently.

Even the stray we found ceases nibbling on my hand, and with a whimper, affectionately licks my knuckles.

"Are you trying to comfort me?" Through a running nose and blurry vision, I somehow manage a weak laugh. "I thought you didn't like me, or really anyone, since you're always trying to killem' "

"It's like someone told you 'sickem boy' and you haven't stop since..." My damp hand pets him soothingly behind his floppy ear.

"I'm gonna name you killer." I press my lips to the top of his fury head. Of course, his little head snaps back and he bites the tip of my nose.

"So, I guess that's a yes." I rub the stray tears away from my eyes. Killer's ears fly up, pointing at the ceiling as his lips curl up to reveal his teeth.

Bang!

At the sound of a loud thud that shakes the walls, Killer springs into action, barking his head off as he runs off. Kicking blankets off, I scramble for the bat tucked under the mattress, wedged between my side of the bed and the wall.

"I called 911!" I shout over Killer's barking, brandishing the bat over my shoulder, making sure to keep my elbows tight at my sides. I nearly drop my bat at the sight.

"Didn't mean to wake you up," Riley slurs. "Roomie." He pointedly adds. Riley pins a drunk girl against the door. She's a drop dead gorgeous African American girl with a head of grey dyed curly hair, and plumb lips pressed against the hollow of his neck. She's giggles between kisses, and sloppily tries to pry his belt off.

"Wh... what are you doing?" I mumble with a bad taste in my mouth. Killer circles them, growling at the girl's heels, but I can't tear my eyes away from Riley's hands up her croaked top.

"Making a point." Riley slurs like it's the most obvious thing in the world. Oh. Nodding, I lower my bat, taking notice of the hole in the wall the size of a fist inches away from the broken door knob. At least I know what that bang was.

"Would you like some water? Tea?" I offer to the girl with a sigh. Dumbstruck, they unlatch off each other to stare after me as I go off to the kitchen to fill up two glasses of water.

"We need the bed, Jamie." Riley firmly says. I blatantly ignore him, placing a glass into each of their hands.

"Are you hungry? Are you nauseous? Would you like to sit down?" I offer the girl, realizing she's prettier up close. She shoots Riley a thrown look, but allows me to guide her stumbling form to the couch. She sinks into the sofa, kicking off her heels with a clatter. She downs the entire glass in big, desperate gulps as if she's never had a drop of water. Deterred and accepting defeat, Riley sullenly drops next to me with a glare.

"Where do you live?" I press the cup in Riley's hands to his mouth, signaling him to drink. "I'm going to call you a taxi."

"Hey!" Riley growls as I pull his cellphone out of his pocket. A silence him with a tired look as I call her cab. While we waited, the girl - who I (and Riley) found out is named Chantel - sobered up. Chantel explains she's a premed, how she's worried about student loans. Chantel revealed how she's worried about not doing not enough sit ups to fit into too tight club wear. Even drunk, Chantel is twice as smart as us, giving us the sparknotes version of brain surgery. She's loving, and lives with her grandmother not because she has to, but wants to. As I walked her down stairs to her cab, I realized she's funny too as she made a great joke about the walk of shame.

When I come back up to the apartment Riley is staring longingly at something on his phone, as Killer chews on one of his forgotten sneakers. I say nothing as I walk over, and force him up to his feet by his hands.

"You're mad, right?" Riley's knees shake as I drag him towards the bedroom. "Tell me you're mad. Say I'm a piece of shit. Call me a heartless asshole." He slurs.

We freeze in our tracks.

"Hate me." He pleads. "It'll be better if you hate me."

Now I know he's feels bad. I'm not the only one miserable. I'm not the only being eaten alive. He's being tortured by guilt, being weighed down by remorse, because he's upset that he doesn't love me back.

I say nothing as I lower him into the bed. I say nothing as I selfishly gather up the blankets and pillows, leaving him none.

I say nothing as I go off to sleep alone on the couch.

There's some foreshadowing in this chapter, wonder who can spot it? 🤔

I really hope people take from not only their good moments, but also their bad moments too, because relationships are far from perfect. Relationships are filled with bad moments too, plenty of bad, but that's what makes or breaks the relationship. But also know where to draw the line.

Don't anyone DARE slut shame Chantel. Women 👏🏼are 👏🏼allowed 👏🏼to👏🏼 have 👏🏼choices👏🏼, and that👏🏼 choice👏🏼 can👏🏼 be 👏🏼sexually 👏🏼active.

And I'm sorry I didn't name the puppy by popular demand, but idk I came up with his own character development as I was writing it. I'm sorry, really, but it was a creative decision.