Jamie's POV

"It's December." I mutter.

"What?" Riley slowly looks away from the rainy diner window. We've been sitting across each other in this booth for three hours now. A cheap cup of coffee, and a weak mug of tea taking up the space between us.

For three straight hours, Riley has been glaring out the window with hunched shoulders, with his forehead pressed against the window, and his brow so tightly knotted together, I might get frown lines. The bag of ice to nurse his possibly broken hand is long forgotten at the edge of the table, sitting in a pathetic melted puddle.

So, here we are (at my suggestion) sitting in a near empty diner, staring out a rainy window, rather than pacing my apartment, while Riley restlessly searches the dark streets of the entire town. Like the bag of ice, he's ignoring his possibly broken hand and the pain that comes with it, despite it swelling up twice its original size. Nothing matters to him right now, besides knowing that Robin is intact and whole.

Riley offered to drive me home, but planned to drive aimlessly around for Robin till god knows how long, because he has to do something- he restlessly keeps insisting.

"It's midnight." I gently tap my grandmother's old watch. "November is over. It's officially December."

"Really? Feels like I've known you for years, not a month." Riley sips on his coffee despite it have gone cold long ago, and takes a quick glance out the window.

Riley's right. Since that one A.M. encounter in the alley, I feel like Riley has always been part of my life, not a new roommate for the past month. Even, the last twenty four hours with Robin have felt like a hundred and one days, but I'm not sure if it's exactly a bad or good thing.

"Are we going to buy a Christmas tree?" At first, I thought he was attempting a joke, but I nearly spill my tea when I catch the sincere look on his face. Christmas tree shopping seems long term, like a commitment. It's not, yet I can't deny how permanent it feels.

"Is Christmas your favorite holiday?" I ask, still not knowing enough about him.

"No, I'm not really a fan of holidays. I never really celebrated properly." He shrugs.

"Can I ask why's that?" I attempt, steeling myself up for backlash.

"Do I have to?" He grumbles, glaring down into his cup of coffee so intensely it would magically start boiling. Though Riley still can't open up, compared to a few weeks ago where he'd just defensively burst, politely declining is an improvement. Perhaps one day he'll tell me when I ask. Maybe he'll even want to share. Baby steps.

"No," I shake my head. "You never have to." I just want to get to know you, Riley, but I don't bother saying it out loud.

Falling silent, we watch out the condensation covered window for a while.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Riley lets out a heavy sigh.

"My family never really bothered." He admits, then hastily gulps down big mouthfuls of coffee. "No turkeys. No Christmas trees. No Easter egg hunts. No Fourth of July barques. No birthday parties. No presents." Riley's shoulders hunch to his ears, a glare and mask of fury taking place of the furrowed brow, and worrisome gaze aimed at the window a moment ago.

"Not because they were some abusive assholes or anything," he slams the coffee mug back down too hard with a smack that echoes through the empty diner. Half his cup of coffee goes everywhere, but I'm too busy noticing the ache in Riley's brown eyes to clean it up.

"They just didn't bother." He shrugs, looking like he tastes something bitter like blood. I have dozens of questions, but I choke them down because I know he doesn't need to be prodded. Sure, he needs to talk about it, one day I'll listen if he lets me. But right now he needs not ready to voice out how disappointed he is. Instead, he just needs somebody to understand, and let him feel without thinking less of him for not being whole or intact.

"We'll get a Christmas tree." I nod, trying to keep my voice measured rather than sympathetic. Sympathy is triggering, empathy is comforting. Riley's shoulders drop, and actually look at me without a glare.

"You'll have to carry it though." I add, cleaning the spill with cheap napkins.

"How big of a tree?" He tries to keep the anger he's so use to in his voice, the anger he relies on too much, but the hope rings as clear as a bell.

"As big as you can carry." I joke. "I promise, Riley." I give his hand the quickest squeeze, meaning it with all my heart.

-------

Another hour passes.

I'm sipping on my fourth mug of tea, despite it gone cold long ago.

Riley's on his fifth cup of coffee, nervously forcing it down to keep him alert for a sight of a brunette.

Where is Robin? In a holding cell at a station? Or in a gutter? Is she okay? Is she helping that lady? Or did that very same woman try to get back at Robin for throwing the first blow?

Whatever bad scenarios are running through my mind, they're nothing compared to the worse case possibilities torturing Riley. Forehead on the window, Riley glares out the window, his eyes frantically darting at the black of night every few minutes, desperate for just a glimpse of the brunette with blue eyes. He stopped talking forty minutes ago. He doesn't just look miserable, he is miserable. And he won't feel the slightest bit better till he knows that Robin isn't out there alone in the dark city, but okay.

"You love her." I finally say it out loud. I said it quietly, but I said it.

He winces, then slowly meets my green eyes.

"I do." Admitting things about himself is one of the hardest things for Riley. Yet, he just admitted his love for Robin. Every single time I've never pushed on just the smallest details burn bright in my mind, yet he just easily declared this. Just as much as I want to be upset, I'm twice as content that he shared at all.

Riley can't bring himself to talk about himself. Yes, he's snaps at times like any defensive person, but he doesn't like himself so much, he can't even bring himself to tell me or others what's his favorite color is. But he loves Robin so much, he conquered that internal struggle, opened up. And he actually opened up to me, despite thinking I hate him.

But I never could.

"How long have you known her?" I pry, desperate for him to continue. Yes, he's opening up about Robin, but he's opening up. Baby steps.

"Since I was seventeen." Riley actually answers.

"Is it okay if I ask how you two met?" I quietly ask, as if whispering will soften the blow.

"You sure you want to hear this?" With hunched shoulder, Riley starts to squirm.

"Yes," I nod over the brim of my cold tea. "I do. I really do." I insist. The story of Robin and Riley would be the first story I've ever heard about Riley. It'll give me insight of his past, of Riley, and who he was and really is. Despite a month together, he's still this mysterious guy without a last name across this table in the middle of the night.

"I was flunking out of my junior year... and the night before my SATs, I went to a party." His brown eyes catch my green ones for a long moment, before looking down into the depths of his dark coffee.

"Not some rager in the city, or a drug party in the bad part of town, because my boring, middle class suburban town didn't have a bad part of town. Just some house party at this guy's house. This guy who wasn't one of the popular kids, but was friends with everybody, and the whole school knew his name, even everyone, including the teachers, knew he was really sketchy. I knew him, because he use to buy me booze with his fake ID when I was freshman. We use to cut class together. He helped me lose my virginity in my sophomore year to some drunk senior girl who doesn't remember how bad I was. " He continues, cautiously glancing up to take in my reaction, then just quickly looks out the window for Robin.

I've never known much about Riley. I know next to nothing about him. He's never told me who he is, what he does, what he wants to do with life, his favorite things or even his last name or how he takes his coffee. I had to learn to get use to being at arms length, and filling in the blanks as we went along.

But, now that he's giving me something about himself, I can easily see teenage Riley as if I known him and went to school with him. I can see a spunky, seventeen year old who didn't talk as much, but was twice as snarky. He wasn't as tall, and his body wasn't as defined or covered in years of scars or bruises with a story behind each one. His dark hair was unkept and a bit longer because he couldn't be bothered to tame it. He wore his favorite pair of jeans, and that black sweatshirt of his must have been brand new. He probably laughed a lot more, and had a much lower alcohol tolerance then. His brown eyes must have been brighter with anger, or dissatisfaction, or pure delight with no in-between, while he himself wasn't so sure of himself.

"That night, I was puking in the front yard from too many shots, when..." He takes a heavy sigh. The corners of his mouth twitch up into a fond grin, while his brown eyes fill up with a sincere joy. "When I saw her. Robin was on the fucking roof, drunk out of her mind, but wasn't as sloppy as I was. Everyone was chanting here name, cheering her on to flash. She looked... so fearless. Rather than being awkward or scared, she looked like she was having the time of her life. She wasn't just pretty or attractive, it was something more... she was some kind of breath taking."

I've never seen Riley so happy till this very moment. He looks like a kid in Disney land.

"Just when I thought she was going to flash the whole block her boobs, she flipped everyone off." He laughs a content, whole heartedly laugh that matches the biggest smile I've ever seen him do.

"Later, she asked me for a cigarette and a light. I felt like the luckiest guy on the entire planet when she those blue eyes looked at me. And you bet your ass I searched the rest of the night for a damn lighter and a smoke." He chuckles.

"Did you guys end up sleeping together?" I inquire, giving a silent pat on my back for not a trace of jealousy in my voice.

"Me? And Robin?" He looks like I just punched him in the face. "Never!" He booms, his voice carrying through the empty diner to the bored waitress, but she just keeps on ignoring us.

"I never had enough game, or will to ever get her to think of me as more than her boyfriend's friend." He rolls his brown eyes.

"Boyfriend?" I choke. "Robin has a boyfriend?"

"Yeah... she's been with him since her first day of high school." The light from his brown eyes vanishes, just as that bright smile is wiped from his face. A dark mood sweeps over him, as if an angry cloud is right over his head, clapping strikes of white hot thunder onto his head. He looks miserable.

"I meet him that night too." He grumbles. "The guy who invited me introduced us. That's the night I got roped into using fake ids to buy other under aged kids liquor for Nate." He looks like he's ready to choke the next person who gives him a wrong look. His face is scrunched up in a disgusted glare, as if a monstrous hand is locked around his heart, and squeezing the life out of it.

"Nate... is... Robin's boyfriend?" Saying it felt weird in my mouth, like I was spitting out candy I found on the ground.

"Lucky bastard." Riley spits.

"Meeting him was the worst day of my life, I just didn't know back then. It got worse since, from liquor to drugs... to burglary..." Our eyes lock, the guilty look in his angry gaze meeting the shock in my green eyes.

Everything suddenly makes sense to me, making me like a complete idiot. Nate was the "bad boy" who got "the sexy bad girl", and pouched unsteady kids into selling drugs for him. Nate is the gang leader this gang "troubled kids" doing the grunt work. But I know for myself Nate is not some exciting bad boy in tattoos, but a maniac who is always strung out. And Riley isn't some hoodlum, he's someone who is being defined and trapped by his bad life choices, because when he was young and stupid, someone made those descions for him.

"I can't sit here anymore." Riley suddenly jumps up. "I'm losing my mind doing nothing." He hastily pulls out his wallet as he refers back to the Robin situation.

"I'm taking you home, then I'm going to find her."

We're finally getting to know about Riley, and it is absolutely important that he opens up when he's talking about how he met Robin.

Also... I have a concept....