Riley's POV

I've been waiting in my car for almost fifteen minutes now, but I don't mind. My old blue car is parked by the curb outside of Jamie's bakery. The bland, dust colored sky looms over, looking vast and empty without any sunshine. From my car, I can see Jamie helping out a few last customers, even though her shift ended twenty minutes ago. She dotes on an elderly woman and a guy around our age with a head of blonde hair, and an eager smile pointed in Jamie's direction.

I can't bring myself to be jealous. From the very moment I meet Jamie, I've wanted better for Jamie than me.

"Hey," Jamie quietly greets as she climbs into the car.

"Hey." I nod.

"Big tippers?" I joke as I pull away, but my heart isn't in it.

"Mrs. Church and her grandson Nicolas?" Jamie starts, "Yeah, they're nice tippers. They feel pretty generous, since they come in every Sunday after church." Jamie explains, folding up her apron into a neat square.

"So, he isn't a mommy's boy, St. Nick has granny issues?" I'm too aware of the attitude on the edge of my voice. I suck in a deep breath, knowing how much Jamie deserves attention from a nice guy.

"He doesn't have mommy or granny issues. He hangs out with her every Sunday just because she is his grandma. They have the TV family bond." Jamie elaborates, cranking up the heat in my car. Whenever Jamie's isn't looking, I take a long look at her. I take in her long curtain of red hair that I always want to run my fingers through, raised in a high ponytail on her head. I take in every freckle, finding a new sandy dot every time I count in an unexpected place, like behind her ears, or the curve of her neck. I take in the faded evergreen knit sweater that hugs her collar bones, and bunches up at her wrists.

Then she nearly catches me looking and I glare out the windshield.

My mind goes back to that tall blonde boy, and his smile. He has a thing for her. It's clear as day. A part of me hopes that he keeps smiling at Jamie, till she smiles back. A part of me hopes he asks her out soon, and takes her out to a fancy restaurant and holds the door open for her. A part of me hopes he treats her better than I ever could, and tells her to kick me out of her life, because I don't deserve her, I never did.

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Jamie's POV

It's dead silent as we climb the nine flight of stairs up to our apartment. Just the occasional taps of our feet against the wood, but other than that, complete silence. I want to ask what did Nate have him do last night that kept him out till 3am, but then I decide I don't want to know. Killer's muffled barks break the silence as we approach, the door shaking in place from how much he is scratching at it.

As soon as I unlock the door, the small golden retriever charges at our ankles. He circles our feet in excited circles, sweetly licking our ankles now than his old defensive habit of biting. The Christmas tree sits in corner of the cramped living room, its undecorated branches a constant reminder that we bought a Christmas tree when I don't own any decorations.

I've never had the space for it, so my brother has all of my grandmother's old Christmas boxes.

"About the other night." I speak up, referring to the night Riley pined me against a Christmas tree, and nearly kissed me in the snow. He visibly flinches, and swears under his breath, but meets my gaze straight on.

"Yeah, about that..." He starts.

"I still love Robin."
"You still love Robin." We both state at the same time. Just at the mention of her name, a bright, feverous look brightens his brown eyes.

"I was being selfish. I was too much in the moment." Riley tries to reason it off. He stands on the other side of the room, hovering by the door with a nervous look on his face. Killer barks at us, trying to gain our attention so we can walk him, but we can't break eye contact.

"I don't want to go through this again." I don't say it as a warning, I say it as a fact with no hesitance or malice. Riley is not my boyfriend, we're not committed to each other whatsoever. Robin may not love him back, but that doesn't make Riley's love for her all these years go away. I'm not going to cry or be hurt ever again over this.

"I'm sorry." Riley's voice sounds as defeated as the look in his eyes. His phone goes off. Our eyes break away, our conversation ends.

"It's Robin," Riley's voice sounds happier. "She wants to know if you and I would like to go out tonight." Riley sounds a bit hopeful.

"I can't. I have to see my accountant in the morning, and I have to find all my recites and bank statements." I hug my arms to my body, remembering the last time I went out for drinks with Robin... and how those forty eight hours turned into a crime.

"This sounds way more fun." Riley suggests. "Plus, she really wants you to come. She even put your names in all caps." Riley shows me his cracked iPhone as proof. I try to hide a grin, but Riley's knowing grin makes me fail.

"Have fun for me." I softly say. "Just make sure you don't drink or drive. Or drive while buzzed. Or Drive and text. Oh, make sure you both eat something before you start drinking. And, make sure you both wear your seatbelt, because Robin doesn't like to. And be careful-"

"I promise to hold her hair up if she pukes." Riley cuts me off with a joke.

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Riley's POV

"Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug. Chug." Robing eggs me on with a smirk from the other side of a dirty table, as I down my third shot.

"How did you talk me into tequila shots when we could be drinking Irish cream or fireball?" I say around a mouthful of lime. I've gotten to a point of drinking where I need hard liquor to conquer my tolerance. More importantly, I've also gotten to a point where I realized what I'm drinking should at least taste good.

"Strip clubs and cheap tequila go together like peanut butter and jelly." Robin smirks. Since Jamie was a no show, Robin dragged me to a poorly lit strip club, that's over crowded with hooting men.

She has a lot reason why she comes to strip clubs. The first being about a scene in Breakfast at Tiffany's, a movie I've never bothered to see. The second being, she's a pretty generous tipper to the women, and all without the groping. She always states that it doesn't matter what a woman's profession is, what her craft is her craft. Third, Robin doesn't let whoever she's with watch.

It's a test.

Want a date with her? Want to get to know her? Want those baby blue eyes to acknowledge you? You can, only if you don't look at the woman taking her top off onstage.

I've never even glanced.

My head has never even turned towards them, not once. It's never been hard for me not to look, because when I'm with Robin, it's like she's the only one in the world. When I'm with her, everyone fades away, nothing really seems to matter as much. It's a couple of hours where her blue eyes focus on only me, and a couple of hours where I can marvel at how beautiful she is without an excuse.

"Should we bring Freckles something?" Robin jokingly picks up a discarded gstring off the dirty floor. That's the seventh time Robin has mentioned Jamie within the past forty minutes. Robin really took to Jamie... Her blue eyes brighten just a tad every time Jamie is brought up. Robin knows full and well we can't bring Jamie a striper's used Gstring, but she's giving away a tell, it's just an excuse to say Jamie's name. Much like when she Robin brought up the topic of hiring a surprise strip dance to send to Jamie's job. Or when Robin mentioned how we should go back and drag Jamie out.

"Obviously not Robin," I start, taking a long sip from my pint of beer. "Jamie won't accept it if we don't give the matching bra that goes with the used Gstring. It's just bad manners." I joke. Her blue eyes lose that bright spark... fading into a dull blue. Robin almost let slips that she wants to see the serious red head, but forces down another shot of tequila instead.

"I don't think your girl Jamie likes me." Robin's signature smirk is gone, but replaced with that vulnerable shade of deep blue in her eyes that I reminds me of the ocean after it rains. She said it so suddenly, I actually choke on my beer, something I haven't done since I was fourteen.

"Of course Jamie likes you." I had this exact conversation with Jamie when she assumed Robin didn't like her. "By choice, Jamie doesn't have many friends. Jamie doesn't really... bother with other people. But she bothers with you, Robin." A fire burns in the pit of my stomach, and at the back of my eyes. These girls- they're both friends with each other but neither don't seem to know it.

"Wait-" I straighten up in my chair. "Did you just call Jamie my girl?" I clutch onto the edge of the table with a white knuckle grip so I don't fall off into the giant hole that I swear opened in the middle of the floor, and threatens to swallow me whole. Robin eyes meet mine over the rim of her shot glass like I'm a complete moron.

"Do you have a pen?" Robin inquires.

"What does stationary have to do with anything?"

"Hey hun," Robin pull overs a passing waitress in their tracks. "I'm gonna borrow this." Robin steals their pen and notepad from their hands, but slides a twenty into their apron.

"Please don't call Jamie my girl." I insist, leaning over the table. It almost sounds like a plea.

"Tell me everything." Robin has her pen at the ready.

"Ready for a fucking caricature?"

"No, tell me everything that has happened between you and Freckles. I'm gonna do a time line." Robin explains like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Robin, please no." I bury my head into my arms.

"The first time you guys meet was when you got peppered spray, right?" Ignoring me, Robin carries on, scratching a quick note across the paper. "Tell me everything that has happened between the pepper spraying and you two frick fracking." Robin's words makes my stomach knot up.

"Do I have to?" I groan. Robin drops the notepad and pen, and gives me a hard look, as if she's trying to comprehend something.

"Okay, let's be serious now." Robin's blue eyes go fierce. So sharp and seriously, she suddenly feels bigger than me. "Why aren't you together with this girl, Riley?"

Because I love you, Robin.

The words almost instantly fall through my lips, but I stop myself. I love Robin, but Robin has been involved with Nate since I meet her.

"Because." I simply grunt out like an idiot.

"Jamie is a catch. She's put together, she's level headed, she's strong, she's genuine, she's good hearted, she's real, she's wholesome. More importantly, she's into you, Riley. She's romcom movie into you. I mean, Jamie cares about you with all her heart, and her heart is huge."

"I don't like her like that." I protest.

"Shut up, Knuckles." Robin's blue eyes glare into me, sending chills up my spine. "You love her." Robin's words leaves me feeling like I was just struck by thunder. "You're head over heels over for Jamie. Every time you look at her you're giving her heart eyes. You're your best self when you're around her. You always look forward to the next time you two are going to be in the same room. When a girl like that gives you everything, you can't pretend you're not right for her.

"I can't be with her."

"Why? Give me one good reason." Robin doesn't cut me any slack.

"I'm not good enough for her." I finally say it out loud.

"Don't say bullshit excuses like that, Riley." Robin insists.

"She's too good for me." I start, feeling like I'm about to puke. "I sell drugs. I used to live in my car. I'm going nowhere in life. I have nothing to offer her. Jamie's is the kind of girl who has five years plans. She'll work her way up into success. She's gold, Robin. Solid gold. I'm nothing."

"I'm not going to be able to talk you out of this." Robin sighs. I use to love how Robin knew when to give up. I liked how she didn't press, mostly because she always knew exactly how I felt. Maybe I've gotten too use to Jamie, and how she never wanted to stop till she knew what was going through my mind, but now Robin feels off. It doesn't feel like someone who knows there isn't a need for words, because she knew. Now it feels like she's isn't speaking because she can't find the words to try.

"No, but you can get me drunk off my ass."

"I always can help with that." She clinks our glasses together with a sympathetic look.

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Jamie's POV

I force myself out of bed at the sound of Killer's barking, barely lifting my red head up as I drag my feet across the apartment. For such a tiny body, that dog has such a loud bark. Killer's barks echoes against my ear drums the more I approach. I repeatedly shh the golden retriever, who is barking his furry head off at the door.

Now I'm wide awake.

Not knowing what's behind the door, I go to get my bat.

"Jamieeee," I stop in my tracks. "Open the door, I lost my keys." I sigh at the muffled slur. I cautiously open the door, trying not to close it at the sight of a drunken Riley. He reeks like a brewery. His clothes are inside out, including his shoes being on the wrong feet. He leans all his weight against the door for support, making me panic if his legs will give out under him.

"Jamie." Riley slurs, stumbling into the apartment with a goofy grin. He nearly trips over a still barking Killer, and collapses against me. I steady him, trying to hold him up with all my strength.

"You're drunk." I state the obvious in a tired tone.

"As a skunk." Riley smirks. "You smell nice." He slurs, burying his face into my red hair. "You always smell like clean laundry. And not that shitty, fake clean linen fragrance shit. But like laundry right out of the dryer." Riley captures me into his arms, trapping me against his chest. He takes a deep inhale, his nose bumping against my neck.

"Thanks." I pry myself away, not able to hear the sound of his uneven heart hammering against his chest. "I'm guessing you had fun with Robin."

"Tons. We went to a strip club." Riley laughs to himself. I have to stifle a sigh. Out of all places, why a strip club? Though, I can't say I'm surprised. I can't stomach the idea of Riley in those places, his eyes taking in every exposed curve of a nude performer.

"Hey," Riley calls my attention, unsatisfied with the lack of.

"Yes?"

"I don't want to sleep on the couch." He slurs. "Lemme sleep with you." Riley hangs onto me with the kind of grip that doesn't seem he'll let go anytime soon.

"No." I say firmly.

"Please. I miss you." He suddenly drops all of his weight, nearly taking both of us down.

"I'm right here." I bargain, trying to get him moving again.

"Lemme sleep in your bed with you." He demands in a pathetic slur.

"No, Riley."

"Then sleep with me on the couch." I suddenly straighten up. I assumed he just didn't want to sleep on the sofa, saying anything to get a real night's sleep on an actual mattress. That's not it at all. I can't stop my stomach from doing that little excited flip, or stop that rush of hot feelings creeping up my spine.

"Or sleep with me on the floor. Or the back seat of my car. Doesn't matter. Just let me spend the night with you." He slurs, resting his forehead on mine.

It is a tempting offer.

"Riley," I sigh, gingerly lowering him down into my messy bed. A part of me is scared if I let go, he'll probably end up on the floor. I push his matted hair away from his face, the skin feeling too hot against my finger tips gives me an idea of how much he drank. "You're wasted."

The smile falls from his face.

"Please Jamie," He coils his arms around my waist, and buries his face into my stomach. "Stay with me."

"Tomorrow you're gonna sober up,"
I pry him and his stubborn grip off. "You're going to be hung over." I tug off his shoes, neatly leaving them aside somewhere in the dark room.

"Then you're going to remember that you don't want to be with me, because you're in love with Robin. Regardless if we spend the night together or not." I finally manage to rest his dark head against the pillow, and tuck him in so tightly, he can't unbind himself.

"But Jam-"

"I'll stay with you till you fall asleep. Then I'll sleep on the couch." I bargain, plopping down on top of the comforter. Finally ceasing his barking, Killer curls up between us.

"I do love Robin." He slurs. I run my hands through his dark hair, trying to lull him to sleep. "Do you love me?"

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach, and for a moment, I thought it stopped beating all together.

When I am sure my heart is still kicking, Riley is fast asleep.