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Riley's POV

"Riley, what if I asked you to come inside instead of doing whatever you're about to go do?" Jamie asks quietly in the passenger seat besides me. We're parked in front of Jamie's run down building, just sitting in the dark not looking at each other. God, she keeps making me feel so shitty. A rush of bruised feelings, and sharpened insecurities stampede through me, putting me on edge.

"I'd tell you to fuck off." I growl, clutching the wheel. Jamie finally looks at me, her green eyes overflowing with hurt in the dark. I don't even have time to sigh at my mistake by the time Jamie is out of the car. I didn't mean that.

With a white knuckle grip I reluctantly steer the car away from the curb and drive away from Jamie. I barely swallow down the urge to shout a profanity at the top of my lungs as I drive through the empty streets. I'm fuming. I'm fucking up this one good thing in my life right now. I don't even mean to, but at every chance I'm ruining whatever this is with Jamie.

I don't want to think about this. I don't want to keep visualizing Jamie's hurt face. So I angrily at press my radio till I find a song just as angry as I am, and blast it at the highest volume.

-----

"Do you have it, Randy?" The shaking bald man anxiously wets his chapped lips. The underpass we're hiding in smells of sewage and smoke. My customer's cardboard box sits among the heaps of trash. Bright graffiti is on every flat surface. Instead of wanting to be anywhere, all I want is be in Jamie's cramped apartment. I crave the seventh floor attic apartment with the shitty water pressure, and the pretty red head.

"It's Riley, you prick." I hiss. Kent is one of my regulars, but treats me like I'm nothing every damn time he sees me. He drives me nuts.

"Just give me my meth." He twitches. Kent makes me sick to my stomach. A forty something man who abandoned his wife and kids, and mugs people for crystal meth. Also, his constant stink of urine is a big factor.

"Money first." I order. Kent hops up and down, frantically pulling out crinkled bills like his life depends on it.

"Give it to me!" He shrieks, shoving a handful of bills into my hand. "I need it now!" He nearly screams.

"Oh, shut up. I can't count with your bitching." I purposely count the bills painfully slow, watching him shake more with each passing second.

"See you tomorrow night you piece of shit." I toss his addiction to the ground and Kent lunges for at it like a dog playing fetch.

------

Crappy music pounds in a mansion so loud, the walls look like they're shaking. Drunk teens loiter the lawn, others stumble up above in the balconies. Ringing the doorbell a drunk girl in a backwards puffy prom dress immediately answers.

"Are you the pizza boy or the drug dealer?" She slurs, nearly falling out the door.

"Do you see any damn pizza boxes?" I yell over the music. Giggling stupidly she hands me a thick stack of crisp hundred bills.

"Isn't it a bit early for prom? Like six fucking months?" I inquire, taking the money before she throws up on it.

"This is our homecoming after party." She slurs. I have enough acid on me to kill a couple of elephants.

"Don't you all have school tomorrow?" I point out. It looks like an entire grade is killing their brain cells in there. The girl just shrugs. She's so drunk, I could just walk away with the money and acid, and she wouldn't even notice right away.

"Don't you know how intense acid is? You do it once, and it'll stay in your system forever. You'll relapse randomly for the rest of your life." I warn. All these teenagers are way over their heads. Acid hallucinations can be brutal. If people aren't careful they can die on this drug.

"You're being so not cool." She slurs. Looking past the drunk girl I notice the family pictures of proud parents on the wall, and every other teenager only a year or so away from graduating. They have no idea what they're in for.

"Dude!" The girl clumsily stomps her foot, nearly falling over.

"Here." I hesitantly hand her all the acid, feeling sick to my stomach.

-----

"Riley, mate!" Nate throws his tattooed arms around me. It's four in the morning, and like every night I'm in Nate's penthouse to drop off my night's earning and to restock for tomorrow night. Nate, the head of the operation is stark naked, his neck covered in lipstick marks, his brown hair askew. His light eyes are mostly dark from his huge pupils.

"Nate." I grunt, giving a firm nod as I pull away from that cringing hug.

"Want some spliff, man? Want a shot?" Nate wonders over to the kitchen.

"Not tonight, Nate. To beat." I lie, making sure my eyes don't sink below his neck.

"Aww, man! Am I working you to hard?" Nate chuckles. Yes, he is. "Well, to bad, mate!" Nate smacks my back. Biting my lower lip I hurriedly hand him a majority of the money.

"Gotta run, Nate." I grumble, picking up the packed illegal material off the kitchen counter.

"We really ought to hang out one of these nights, Riley. Remind me to give you a night off." Nate lowers his head to inhale white powder up his nose.

"Sure thing, Nate." I lie.

-----

Dragging my feet into Jamie's dark apartment I try not to think. I feel like shit. Every time I close my dark eyes, I see every person I sold to tonight.

I thought it would get easier, but every deal makes me feel worse than the last. Kicking off my shoes, and pulling off all my clothes till my boxers I drop into Jamie's little bed. It's warm, so comfortingly warm and soft. Every muscle in my body relaxes, I'm suddenly okay with myself.

"Riley?" Jamie softly asks, turning over to look at me through half shut green eyes.

"Yeah?" I whisper. Jamie inches closer till her messy red head is in the crock of my neck then she falls back to sleep. I'm glad she's to tired to still be mad at me. I wouldn't sleep well if she still was.

Wrapping my arms tightly around Jamie I suddenly don't hate myself, I suddenly feel steady, I suddenly feel like everyday from now on is going to be good.


A/N:
What I love about my characters is that they're opposites, but not an obnoxious cliche. Jamie is very mature, too mature. She doesn't act her age, and it made her stop living her life. While Riley is so immature, it has destroyed his life.

They're both guarded because of this, but out of habits they respond differently. Riley lashes out with angst to push people away, because he's so hurt, and afraid of being hurt again.
While Jamie is so levelheaded she just shuts everything out in an effort to stay composed, and safe, resulting in her stopping her life.

But to experience love, and life you have to accept you're going to be hurt, because love hurts. It's not perfect. Real love hurts just as much as it feels good.

God, I love my strong silent type Jamie, and my brooding angsty Riley.

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