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here's y'alls christmas present from me lol

this is very long so liiiiikeeeeeeee get ur popcorn🧎🧎

it also gets kinda rushed towards the end so bare w me 

setting: exile arc

tw:: descriptive flashback death/blood, falling, fighting

without further ado, enjoy!!

f/c: favorite color

age: dead


"wil! wil! look!" i floated down towards the christmas tree in the center of the smp, admiring it. wilbur floated next to me, examining every ornament with awe. his face broke into a smile as he examined a blue ornament. 

"y/n, look! it's blue like my blue!" wil exclaimed, pulling his blue out of his jumper pocket. i laughed and spun in circles around my older brother. we don't remember how we died, we just have scars from where we took the most damage. wil has a hole in his stomach, and i have a large gash on my neck running along my back.

as i spun, i heard yelling, specifically tubbo yelling, i floated overhead to listen. i never liked it when tubbo yelled, it must be serious.

"THE DISCS DON'T METTER TOMMY! why can't you see that..?" tubbo's voice got quieter towards the end, and my heart sunk, i floated down a little further to see who he was yelling out, i let out a small gasp when i saw who;

tommy.

the blonde's jaw was practically on the obsidian wall dream had built, tears were shining in his eyes. my heart dropped, their friendship was breaking apart right in front of me. it had always been tommy and tubbo, tubbo and tommy. the inseparable duo, the dirty crime boys, the-

"so..so all of this-" tommy's voice dropped. his posture had sunk, no longer holding the cocky, confident aura it had before. quackity sighed and looked at tommy,

"tommy, what you need to realize is that your actions have consequences-" the blonde slowly turned towards the spanish boy, his eyes sad. quackity immediately shut up and stood back towards fundy. tubbo stepped towards tommy, his eyes dull, no emotion shown in them. 

"dream, please escort tommy out of l'manberg."

i speedily flew down towards the boy, accidentally flying through his body, i stopped myself mid tumble and turned around, facing dream's back. tommy was shaking, his mouth ajar, no words coming out.

"tommy, you are hereby exiled from l'manberg."

dream smirked, pushing tommy off the obsidian wall which imprisoned l'manberg and it's citizens. tommy fell onto the wooden path, grunting in pain. wil had floated over in concern, just sitting criss cross above everybody. dream grabbed the boy by his arm and marched him towards a small boat, throwing him on it.

wil floated alongside the boat, turning back to me and motioning me to stay put with tubbo. i nodded, sadly, and floated over to tubbo.

"hey!" tubbo shrieked, spinning around. when he saw it was only me, he sighed. he ran his hand through his brown locks. i tilted my head in worry. tubbo had a lot to deal with now that he was president. and how he had just exiled his best friend, the boy absolutely deserved a break. 

"hey, hey, why don't we go chill in niki's bakery? you need a break." i crossed my arms, tubbo let out a frustrated sigh, nodding and setting off toward the bakery. i floated behind, looking through my inventory to try and find something to cheer up the young boy. 

my fingers brushed over some f/c dye, and my eyes lit up. i floated in front of tubbo and held my hand out. "take some f/c!! it'll cheer you up." i grinned as tubbo let out a dry chuckle and took the dye from my hand. seeing the bakery right in front of us, i floated through the door and to the front of the small bakery, admiring all the adorable features niki added. 

my smiled turned into a pained frown as a burning pain in my back started to happen, it felt like i was hitting the ground, landing on sharp rocks. 


their legs buckled from underneath them. they sobbed. wilbur crouched so he was at their eye level.

"aw, don't cry, this was always meant to happen, y/n." wilbur cooed, but still held that evil, corrupted glint in his eyes. y/n stood up, shakily, and shoved him away. this only angered wil, and he shoved back.

a little too hard.

y/n stumbled over the rocky cliff, down below to all the rocks, all sharp from the explosions. they all watched, everything in slow motion. as wilbur and phil screamed, everyone had gathered and watched them fall. tommy running towards them, full speed, in an effort to try and catch them. 

they felt a sharp pain in their head, legs, and back. they had luckily missed the rocks, but still took a lot of fall damage. they saw tommy rushing to them, followed by tubbo, grayson, dream, and someone they thought had died long ago;

technoblade.

the ghost then started getting a pounding headache, little bits and pieces from their death replaying in their head.

"y/n?! nononono...c'mon, stay with me..."

"aw, don't cry! this was always meant to happen, y/n!"

"Y/N!!"

"oh my god, y/n..nonono, NO, NO!!"

"y/n, you alright?" the teen ghost looked up at the new voice, rubbing their temples. niki, the kindest soul on the server, had a look of worry on her face. she took off her apron and sat on the counter, facing the ghost. y/n gave the girl a pained smile. 

"i'm alright!! just another headache." i smiled, niki reached into the counter drawer and pulled out some f/c dye, smiling a toothy grin. i gasped and quickly floated over to the small woman, taking the dye into my hands carefully, concentrating on not letting it phase through my hands. niki giggled, hopping off the counter and walking into the back room. 

the small bell on the door rung, and tubbo walked in, now with grayson in tow. the two were talking in hushed voices, seemingly discussing something. i called for niki and watched her scurry back into the room, throwing her apron back on and setting up the register. grayson strutted to the counter, telling niki his order. 

"uhh, just a pumpkin bread is fine." he looked over at me and smiled, giving me a little wave. i grinned and floated closer to him, handing him my f/c. he laughed and took it, putting it in his hoodie pocket. i noticed some soul sand stuck to the back of his hoodie. i tried brushing it off, only for my hand to phase through his back. 

"oops- you had soul sand or something on your back-" i chuckled. the blonde boy paled a bit before reaching behind his head and brushing the gray, dead sand off his hood. 

"uh yeah- i went to the nether to get some uh- warped stEMS-" grayson assured, his voice rasing a pitch at the end of his sentence. his voice always went high pitched when he lied, i narrowed my eyes at the boy. he only smiled and walked to an empty table awaiting his order. tubbo following after getting his water cup. 

"niiiikiiiiiii-" i whined, floating behind her as she waited for the pumpkin bread to warm in the small oven, the smell of the bread floating through the bakery. 

"hmmm?" she hummed to acknowledge she heard me, taking tongs to take the bread out of the oven and onto a plate. i turned and floated next to the woman on my back, my hair sprawling in different directions. 

"grayson's lying about something and i don't know whAT-" i groaned, flipping my body over so i was on my stomach mid-air. niki hummed in response, taking grayson's food and walking over to him, sliding the plate in front of him. i frowned at the blonde boy and turned my attention back to niki.

"well, i can talk to him if you'd like, seems like tubbo knows something as well..." niki nodded her head at the brunette boy, who was toying with his tie. a semi surprised look on his face. niki sighed, looking at the ghost. she caught a glimpse of their back, and shuddered. nobody had ever dared to tell y/n how they died, not even wilbur when he was told how they died. both ghosts had moments where bits and pieces would come back to them, but they were gone as fast as they had came. 

time skip to about christmas time, so more recent streams.

"y/n! look what i made tommy and tubbo for christmas!" y/n turned towards her ghost friend, who had two glowing compasses in his hand. each of them were labelled with two names, scribbled on a piece of tape. i took one into my hand and examined it.

"'your tubbo'? how does that-" i opened the compass, confused wilbur chuckled and took the compass. "one leads to tubbo, well the white house, and one leads to tommy, or his tent!" wil exclaimed handing the 'your tubbo' compass to me. i smiled. tommy and tubbo would definitely love these gifts.

"i'll go give this to tubbo, i haven't seen him in a hot minute anyway, follow the river down to the island shaped like a T, you should see a white tent and a log cabin. that's where tommy's camped out!" wilbur called over his shoulder, flying towards the white house, the 'your tommy' compass in his transparent hands. 

i glanced over at the side of the river, follow the river until you see a T shaped island? 

i put the compass in my inventory, and set off to find tommy's exiled land. i hadn't seen the boy in quite some time. my last visit was not very pleasant.

"TOMMY HERE BLOCKSBLOCKSBLOCKS-" 

TommyInnit tried to swim in lava

"oh, for fucks sake-" i floated to tommy's portal and waited for him to come through. when he did, he looked worried.

"IS HOW TO SEX 2 OKAY?!?!" the blonde gremlin scrambled to where he had slipped on the dark, ugly netherrack. i laughed and floated towards him, his prized book on sex in my hand. the boy looked relieved, he stood up shakily and took the book from my hand, petting the leather cover as if it was his own dog. 

"your other items burned, but that's ok! i can just go steal from technoblade again." i chirped, floating in circles around the boy. he raised his eyebrow at me, but shrugged and started walking back to the portal. 

"hey! weren't we here for netherite? you still haven't got any..." i questioned, phasing through his skinny body and floating in front of him. he sighed and rolled his eyes, annoyed.

"what's the point? dream'll just come and blow it up again." he huffed, stepping into the portal. i let out a defeated sigh. i didn't like dream. all he did was come over, blow up tommy's items, and then act like he's a puppet, manipulating him. it was sick.

"y/n?" 

a voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and i looked up. tommy was sitting on a small hill, carving a wooden axe. i smiled, and floated over to him. he looked up and gave me a small smile, before going back to carving his weapon. 

"i've got an early christmas present for ya!" i sang, twirling around in the air. being a ghost was fun, i'll admit. you can fly, or float, i should say. you can phase through people and walls just to scare the living shit outta them, and sit in the air without falling!!

"i already got one from lazar this morning. it was quite lovely." tommy muttered flatly,  odding his head over to his tent, now destroyed. i audibly gasped and looked at the boy. i could see what exile was doing to him. his clothes were dirty and ripped in many places, his hair was matted and tangled, not to mention, it didn't even look blonde anymore. and his eyes were beginning to dull. 

"well, lazar can go fuck himself. wilbur went out of his way to make this for you! i was there when he made it, he said, and i quote;" the boy put his attention on me, trying to peek into my hand to see what i had. 

"what does tommy love more than anything? tubbo!" i bubbled, holding out the compass. the blonde's eyes widened. he slowly took the compass, examining it, before looking at the words scribbled on the tape.

"tommy, we know you miss tubbo, and l'manberg. so wil went out of his way to make you this compass! it took him lots of like, netherite and stone and iron...so take care of it!" i rambled, tommy's eyes seemed to light up. he looked up at me and smiled, a true smile. not all the ones he had been faking lately. 

"what does it do? where does it point?" he asked, clipping the compass to his belt loop. i plucked a flower from the hill and laid on my backside. "it leads to tubbo, duh. or wait, erm, his whitehouse." i looked at tommy, his eyes glued to the compass. i knew exactly what he wanted to do.

"tommy, you can't go now. go when things have settled down a bit. everyone is still antsy about your exile." i floated beside him and sat criss cross, fiddling with flowers that surrounded us. tommy sighed, nodding his head. he lifted his head and stared across the fields, deep in thought.

"can you stay for a while?"

i looked towards him, his eyes were on me, awaiting on answer. he looked desperate for someone to stay, he was lonely. he only had dream, and dream was not being a very good "best friend".

"yeah! of course! i'll stay for as long as you want me to, but i do have to make trips to l'manberg once in a while to check up on everyone." i reassured the blonde teen. he sighed in relief and smiled, his eyes getting teary.

"i'm just so alone out here, i have dream but i wanna see my friends. the people i care about." tommy whispered. i frowned, i never liked seeing tommy turn into sadinnit. i pulled some f/c out of my inventory and placed it in his lap. he looked at the dye with a blank face, before exploding into small giggles. i smiled.


time skip

he was getting worse.

he was getting more stubborn that noone cared for him. his appearance was getting ever more raggedy and messy. his left shoe had gone missing while we were hunting one day, his eyes weren't the bright, crystal blue they used to be, they were a dull, dull, grey blue. 

drista had come to visit today.  she had gotten dream to grant a 1 hour visa into l'manberg, tommy was ecstatic. i floated behind the duo, listening in on their conversation.

drista was a nice girl, truly. when i was alive, i met her while she was visiting the smp for the first time. she caused so much chaos it was hilarious. i floated ahead of the two teens, stopping at the smp portal. 

"drista, you gotta be tommy's bodyguard. punz is on his shift at this hour." i told the girl, she nodded, adjusting her mask. i looked to tommy, who suddenly looked fearful. i gave him a reassuring smile, before going through the portal. i spotted punz on the wall ahead, scouting the perimeter. 

i heard the portal whoosh, and footsteps. drista stepped out of the portal, tommy following suite. punz whipped his head towards the trio, leaping from the wall and unsheathing his sword. drista immediately grabbed her axe and equipped her shield, standing in front of tommy. 

"WAIT PUNZ DRISTA SAID I COULD GO-" tommy shrieked, scrambling around the portal as punz juked drista, hot on tommy's tail.

"LUKE QUIT IT HE HAS A VISA!" i yelled, the blonde continued to chase tommy, landing a few hits on his back. drista sighed and ran after punz, jumping on his back. i flew over to him and yelled in his ear to get his attention;

"AAAAAAAUAGAHHEEOEEGQHHWS"

punz flinched, looking me dead in they eye. drista still on his back. and tommy cowering in fear by the portal.

"he has a one hour visa since drista's here and she doesn't like exile." i calmly explained. punz rolled his eyes and scoffed. removing drista from his back and dusting himself off. 

"fine, i'm gonna take a walk around here after an hour and you guys better be gone." punz clicked his tongue and pearled away. drista hopped up from the ground, pushing her mask onto her head, revealing her emerald green eyes, like dream's. she grinned. 

"we got an hour folks! let's go see prime church again." drista cheered, attempting to grab my wrist, her hand phasing right through. she looked up at me, before it hit her that i was a ghost. 

"OH- sorry, i forgot..-" she apologized, rubbing the back of her head. i smiled and waved my hand, sending her off. i watched the two run off into the smp, laughing and yelling about their primes. i chuckled and set off to find wilbur. 

i arrived at the christmas tree, not seeing anyone but connor. i had spoken to connor a few times, he was a nice person. i floated to connor and greeted him with some f/c. 

"oh- for me?" connor smiled, i nodded my head, holding the dye in front of me. connor took it, smiling. 

"uhm, i've always had a question about you-.." the boy looked up at the gold star on the tree. then back at me. i motioned him to go on. he looked unsure, but went on anyway.

"how did you die?"

i looked confused for a moment, before looking up/down at connor. he seemed genuinely curious and i felt bad that i couldn't provide an answer. 

"uh- i actually don't know, all i know is that i have this giant scar on my back and a bunch of bruises." i turned my back to connor so he could see the scar hole in my back and a bunch of purple-blue spots. he scrunched his nose. 

"you'll figure out eventually, you can't remember things, correct?" he rolled up his sleeves, fixing an ornament on the tree. i nodded, before adding on;

"only things that made me happy i can remember."

connor looked deep in thought, he turned to me and pulled out one of dream's spare masks.

"you remember dream at all? he wears these masks." connor seemed like he was trying to piece something together, i furrowed my eyebrows. i didn't really remember dream that much. we had reintroduced ourselves when i came back as a ghost. same with wilbur.

"uhh, not from when i was alive. i reintroduced myself to him when i first saw him as a ghost." i explained. connor hummed and slid a random sword into its holder. 

"well, that's all i needed. also, purpled needs you and tubbo at the white house." connor called over his shoulder, before strutting off to god knows where.

i look at his retreating figure. puzzled. i started flying towards the white house, catching a glimpse of a purple hooded figure waiting in front of it. i saw tubbo jogging up to him, the two exchanging greetings. i flew down to their level and greeted them with some f/c.

"y/n! okay, look no time for explanations, i need you to come in here, everyone is inside." grayson ushered me inside, and sure enough, everyone was there. george, niki, ghostbur, puffy, bbh, skeppy, eret, you name it. 

"uhM, what is this about?" i grew nervous, i looked around at everyone. i then saw a bunch of brewing stands, seemingly brewing a potion. the potion glowed a mix of red and yellow. tubbo grabbed an empty potion bottle, setting it up under the stand, catching the potion as it brewed.

"ok, the day in the cafe when you saw soul sand on my hoodie, i was in the nether getting ingredients for this potion." grayson gave me a guilty smile, playing with his hoodie strings. i gave him a skeptical look. skeppy raised his hand and chimed in,

"it'll make you human again!"

my eyes widened, bbh smacking him in the bead, scolding him.

"ow, fuck-"

"LANGUAGE-"

i just stared at the newly brewed potion. sapnap carefully took it off the stand and passed it to tubbo. who looked me directly in the eyes and started to speak.

"y/n if you do 't wanna do this, we'll use it on wilbur. we can't do both, since purpled only got enough ingredients for one ghost." tubbo shifted from foot to foot, clearly nervous. i stared at

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