summary: y/n died lol F

EDIT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO GO INTO THE MCYT ONESHOTS NOT THE FAMILY AU LMFAO I DO NOT SUPPORT INCEST 💔💔💔💔

song: ghost of you - 5sos

tw:: crying, mentions of blood (dried and fresh), stabbing, memory loss

pronouns: they/them

d!smp au

here i am waking up, still can't sleep on your side.

the blonde boy jolted up, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead and cheeks. his breathing was fast and short, as he looked around the small room, he realized he wasn't in his night terror anymore. 

looking to his right, he expected to see you, he expected to break out in a smile like he normally would when he saw you. but he saw an empty spot, your body imprint just barely there still. tommy felt tears prick into his eyes, and the lump in his throat grow bigger. 

he still couldn't get past the fact you had died, and even worse, right in front of him. 

there's your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time. 

tommy let his tears free fall onto his cheeks and chin. he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and hung him head, tears cascading off his cheeks and onto his legs. 

after a few moments of silent crying, he looked up, and he wished he hadn't. the first thing that caught his eye was your favorite coffee mug. 

you guys had gone out to the creek one day and found some clay. you had gotten an idea to make matching coffee mugs, even though you guys had no access to coffee, you thought it would be cute and fun. 

tommy shuffled over to the mug, picking it up with his trembling hands, looking at every little detail you had added; your favorite flowers petals, your favorite colors, and a dumb quote tommy had said was etched into the bottom of the mug. tommy scanned over the quote, remembering his own words, and smiled a bit. setting the mug down, he walked into the living room/main area. 

if i can dream long enough, you'd tell me i'd be just fine. i'll be just fine.

tommy approached the nearby window, staring out into the early morning stars that were fading out. he would normally stand here with you when the sun was peering over the horizon, just talking about random things. a goofy smile would be present on his face, just listening to you talk and ramble on about something that had happened recently. 

more hot tears spilled out of his baby blue eyes, tommy hiccuped, holding a hand over his mouth the stifle his sobs. he knew tubbo was in the spare room, he insisted on staying to make sure tommy was okay. the boy wiped his eyes, but more tears pooled out of his eyes, making small puddles on the floor. 

so i drown it out, like i always do..

tommy could hear you still, your voice ringing like a bell in the back of his head. he wanted to see you again, to hold you, to hug you, to talk to you, to see you smile again. 

he wanted you back. 

he went into an enderchest in the corner of the room, pulling out your favorite music disc. silently, he slipped outside to the jukebox in the backyard. he put the disc in and just sat down next to the jukebox, his head resting against it. he imagined it was you he was leaning against. 

dancing through our house, with the ghost of you.

a small gust of wind blew through tommy's golden locks. he remembered you used to love dancing to this disc. a bright smile on your face, you would just twirl around, the sun bouncing off your hair, making it glow. oh, how he wished for those moments back. 

his mind suddenly switched moods, now seeing your body, just inches in front of him. a sword through your abdomen. similar, but smaller, stab wounds all over your body, punz shakily standing over your body. tommy watched in horror as the man removed his sword from your body, tommy crawled over to you, holding you in his arms as punz strutted away, obviously a bit dizzy from seeing so much blood, he normally just used his crossbow and saw tiny amounts of blood from said distance.

once again, the teen shot up, now full on sobbing. he furiously rubbed his eyes to rid the tears, but nothing worked.

cleaning up today, found that old zepplin shirt,

tommy slowly got up, rubbing his bare arms to create heat with the chilly gusts of wind. he started towards the house and stepped inside, going back into your once shared bedroom to lay back down. but before he could reach the bed, he spied your torn up, bloodied uniform. niki must have set them there when she was dressing your corpse for the funeral. 

he couldn't hold back his sobs anymore after looking at your uniform. tommy flung himself onto the bed and stuffed his face into a pillow, his sobs muffled but still loud. he heard faint footsteps and the door open, tubbo sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbed sympathetic circles on his best friend's back. 

tommy didn't pay attention to tubbo, all he could think about was you. your smile, your hair, your eyes, your laugh, your terrible jokes that made him smile like an idiot, just everything. 

you wore it when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt.

his mind flipped back to when you were laying in his arms. he remembered you telling him it would be ok. you were smiling, even through all the pain you were feeling. every bone in your body was aching and burning with pain, but you still smiled for him, and he felt so goddamn guilty he let punz get to you before he did. 

he remembered how shaken he was when he felt your hand go limp, and your head fall back. he remembered his own screams of agony and guilt. he had to be forcefully removed from your body, that's how tight he was hugging you in your last moments. wilbur had pulled him aside and shielded him from the sight of you, just to prevent more depression wailing. he knew bad and niki were using all their medical supplies to try and revive you, but after a few deathly long minutes, they stopped. you were gone.

we're too young,

he was only 16, as were you. he shouldn't have to feel this much heartbreak and sorrow, and you shouldn't had felt all the pain you were put through as you were stabbed, multiple times at that. 

too dumb,

he felt so stupid. stupid, stupid, stupid. that's all he heard, echoing around in his head. why'd he let you go off alone with punz? he should've gone with you. other than eret, punz was the number one backstabber of sides ever on the smp. he should've known better. 

to know things like love.

he remembered when he first met you, fundy was giving you a tour of l'manberg. unlike most people, he didn't feel obligated to swear at you like he normally would at new players. he felt instantly attracted to you, like some sort of love magnet. 

he insisted on taking over the tour just to spend more time with you. he remembered you rambling on about your interests and skillsets, and him gossiping about how "clingy" tubbo was, how much of a bitch sapnap, dream, and george were, and to top it all off, you guys encountered big q, who offered you guys some drugs.

but i know better now

tommy never felt the same after you had died, but slowly, he got better. sure, some things made him break down all over again, like wilbur blowing up l'manberg, but he was getting better. 

he'd go to your gravestone everyday with your favorite flowers, occasionally throwing some new ones into the bunch. tommy would just sit and talk to you for hours on end. 

until one day in the holy land grounds.

ghostbur announced one day in the holy lands that he found a ghost friend, stepping aside, he showed off his new ghostly friend. tommy's jaw quite literally dropped. it was you, well, your clothes were a bit torn and there were little holes were the stab wounds were, then a giant wound on your lower abdomen, but it was really you!

tommy immediately ran up to you and took your hand, but instead of holding his hand back, you pulled away. tommy felt his heart drop. 

"who are you?"

so i drown it out

ghostbur looked at tommy with a sad expression.

like i always do

tubbo rushed to tommy's side, putting a hand on his shoulders.

dancing through our house

your face was written with confusion and a hint of guilt as you guys just stared at each other.

ghostbur stepped in front of tommy, sadness etched into his ghostly features.

"they can't remember anything, nothing at all..."

with the ghost of you.