The hardest part of it all

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"Stop this, I simply don't feel the way I did for you anymore. Let's just not waste any more of our time and go our separate ways." Just a couple of words ended the screaming over the phone and turned it into an eerie string of silence.

That's it?

Just like that it would be officially over? After all that?

2 years of my life wasted, all that time and energy spent.. now led to nothing. Nothing but that clenching, aching, heavy feeling in my heart. I couldn't mutter anything else besides his name, my mind was in shock. "S-Sai.."

I didn't know what else to say..
What else could I say?
Please don't leave me? Stay, I need you?

But before any of those words could escape my lips, I finally heard that repetitive beeps coming from the phone indicating that the phone call was over. Just like our relationship. 2 years of it, just.. over. Throwing my phone aside, I buried my head in my pillows, and uncontrollably burst out into muffled sobs.

I felt absolutely lonely, betrayed and angry.
But angry at who?
At me for allowing myself to be a fool?
Or my former lover who had left me for someone else?
How could this happen? A dangerous thought kept lingering in my mind, burnt in my head. Was I not good enough?
Was I not good enough?

His face plastered my mind. His soft black hair and eyes.. His face pained me, the memories of him pained me.
The reality of knowing that this is really the end of us pained me.
A couple of knocks drew me out of my head, I looked up towards my door. It must be my best friend that I live with, Sakura. She was probably concerned after hearing all of my screaming.

"Naruto, is everything okay?" She called out from behind the door.

My lips would separate but I couldn't speak, my voice was trapped between my throat that seemed to be squeezing tight.
The sound of knocks continued to echo my dark room.

Unexpectedly, my phone started ringing. I instantly jolted upright and spread my hands across my sheets to feel the vibration on my bed until it was in my shaky hands again. But my heart dropped the second I saw the name flashed on the screen. It wasn't Sai.

It was Sakura. I rejected her call before landing back onto my pillow again, staring into the empty space between my ceiling and I. Tears just kept escaping my eyes, streaming down my cheeks.

The persistent knocking remain interrupting my pathetic thoughts. I sighed heavily, I finally caved in from frustration. Dragging myself out of bed and over to the door to finally let her in. "Are you alright, Naruto?" She immediately questioned me as soon as I swung opened my door.
"N..no." I continued to wail. This is why I didn't want to open my door, I knew that in these moments of extreme hurt, I would be vulnerable. I'd just open up and pour all my emotions at anyone and everyone that asked, but in reality, I would just worry them.

"H-he left..." I choked on the words, I walked backwards from the door with hands rubbing away the uncontrollable tears from my eyes and eventually collapsing into bed once again.

My pink haired friend narrowed her eyes as she walked over to me, "Why are you crying over such an asshole anyway? You didn't lose anything worthy of your tears."

"But.. I lost.. him." I murmured between my cries. Upon hearing that, she rolled her eyes. "Exactly." She mumbled softly under her breath. She proceeded to open wardrobe, I peeped my eyes out of the pillows I planted my face in to see what she was doing.

She seemed to be choosing an outfit.
Really, Sakura? You choose this timing to borrow my shirts? I thought to myself as I raised my eyebrow at her digging in my closet.

She turned around swiftly with an outfit ready in her capable hands. My room mate tossed me the apparels that she has chosen, "What is this for?" I rubbed my dry tired eyes to adjust my vision to have a clearer look at what she picked out.

It was a plain loose fitting crew neck T shirt in dull orange paired with a slim ankle cropped pants, buckled belt and my favourite pair of low top chuck taylor converse.

It's no wonder she's the leading fashion designer of a well known company. She can make pair everything within seconds.

I eyed the clothing before diverting my attention to her, "That's a great choice, but I'm not going out tonight."

"Now, You will be!" She cheered enthusiastically, jumping up and down. I shook my head and dived back into bed, covering myself under these sheets. She pulled at my blanket and a tug of war started. "I said I'm staying home, and specifically staying in bed!" I yelled while trying to overpower her without ripping my sheets.

"To sulk? To cry? Over my dead body!" My best friend argued, finally snatching the sheets out of my hands. The linen wall disappeared between us and I caught glimpse of her eyes. I glared at her, agitated that she wouldn't leave me alone. I just wanted to stay in bed and escape for reality for awhile. I'm just not ready to deal with it.

She simply ignored my eyes that were sending daggers to her soul and grabbed hold of my hands to yank me out of bed.

I'm not sure where she gets this amount of strength from.
Determination?!
First, she managed to win the tug of war.
Then she pulled me out of bed without breaking a sweat.

I mean, in my defence, my body has been depleted of all energy. Both emotional and physical energy.

I realised it was a waste of the very little energy I have remaining. I gave in to the pink haired princess and groaned as I got dressed.
"Fine, you win."

"Yay! I'll go get dressed!" She skipped out of my room and into hers while humming a light hearted tune.

The happier she gets, the more I dread it. I'm just going to ruin her night and she's going to spend it trying to cheer me up. Which I already know it won't be possible, at least not now.

Sakura threw on a fitted off shoulder green dress that had pink and red roses decorating the silky fabric. She wouldn't allow me to see where we were heading to as she booked a cab on her mobile phone. The sounds of her heels bounced off the pavement as we were making our way into the taxi.

I stared out the window, slowly drifting off into my thoughts again. The reflection of my face on the window caught my attention, I looked at myself and began to analyse every feature I have. How chubby my cheeks were, how big my mouth was. I criticised every bit of my face and I started to almost hate my appearance.
I almost hated myself.
I'm not good looking nor charming, it's no wonder why he left me.

Unable to bear it, I turned away from the window and the car came to a halt. "We're here!" Sakura announced, opening the door to gently slide her legs out of the vehicle. She made her away to the chosen place elegantly as I just waddled my way to the front door.

Behind the doors was a newly opened bar, it looked very luxurious and happening. There was a short line of people looking like they were made of money in front of us. Apparently it was opening night and only people that had gotten an invitation could enter. Sakura said our full names to the security guard, and he checked the list before letting us through.

"How did you get an invite?" I whispered to her as I looked around at all the people of status. The women wore shiny jewellery and carried expensive purses. "Why do you sound so surprised?" She waved at a few acquaintances while walking to our reserved table. The chandeliers were huge, the couches were made of the softest velvet material and the tables were full of marbling patterns.

I bit my lip as I almost forgot what she was working as. She was an international renown fashion designer, many A list celebrities requested pieces from her and got her to design their dresses to wear for the red carpet events. Meanwhile, I.. I am a nobody. I was just working at a local cafe as a manager barista.

I'm not rich nor talented, its no wonder why he left me.

He was a famous painter after all.
How did I even get into the relationship thinking I was good enough?

The waiter placed our drinks down on the table and before he could even pour us a drink, I took the bottle from him and started to chug it.

The waiter and my best friend made eye contact, both worried about what I was impulsively doing. "We didn't order yet.." I heard Sakura's voice to the waiter.

And that was the last thing I remembered.

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