y/n pov

To my surprise Jimin was standing in front of my door, he looked nervously at me.

   'hi Jimin what's going on?'

    ' I uhm' he looked down and when I traced his eyes I saw the four letters in his hand. I tensed up a bit.

    'did you read them?' I asked, he nodded.

    'well I started with mine. We were looking for clues where you might be, but in mine there was no clue so I quickly read through them all. Then I took them with me and hid them from the others.'

    'oh uhm thank you Jimin' I said a bit embarrassed as he read my deepest thoughts and feelings.

I reached out my hands to take the letters.

    'y/n, I think you should still express what is in them.'
    'I uhm'
    'you already made a choice in your heart, you just have to speak it out loud.'
    'yes you are right, thank you Jimin.'

He stepped closer to hug me.

After Jimin left I took out my phone and called him to come over as I had something to say. quite quickly the bell rang and my heart was beating out of my chest cause I was so nervous. as I opened the door Jungkook looked at me.

     'everything okay y/n?'
     'Jungkook, thank you for coming, can you come in please?'

He stepped inside a bit nervous as well

    'what's going on?'
    'I uhm have something important to say' I took the letter.
    'I wrote a letter to you, in case I was taken by Kai again or worse. and I need to read it to you'

Jungkook nodded and sat on the couch. I took place on the other side of the couch.

I sighed and started.

'Dear Jungkook

If you read this that means I am either taken by Kai again or in the worst case I am dead. I feel that there is so much I want to say to you. After Taehyung went into a coma I felt lost. As the weeks passed and he didn't wake up I started to feel hopeless. but then we started our self defense classes and our drinks and you told me about yourself and I realized I had misjudged you terribly.

You Jeon Jungkook are a beautiful and amazing person. You were attentive, kind and I felt safe with you. You waited for me to make a move, which was as we both know a bit against your nature;). I think we share a connection that is evident and throughout the months we spent together I was falling in love with you.

I was blind to it myself, unable to accept those feelings, but now that I look back it's pretty clear, we made love and I was happy.

But then Taehyung woke up.

I have to be honest to you and to myself about what is deep inside my heart, and that in truth is and has always been Taehyung. Although you were there, he had never left and that became so clear when he woke up.

And that fact, in essence, makes me not the right person for you.

Maybe if we had met first it would be different, but it is not.

I am truly sorry if I have hurt you. I wish nothing more than for you to find a person that actually deserves you. and in case I do survive by escaping again, I hope in time we can be friends.

You deserve happiness

With all my love,

y/n'

I closed the letter with tears in my eyes and sighed again cause the situation was so fucked up.

     'and as you know I am pregnant, I have been constantly thinking about this. if you are the father and you want to play a role in this baby's life, we have to find a way to raise this child together, but apart.,'

Jungkook's eyes were so sad, I felt the urge to hug him but I knew I couldn't.

   'I am truly sorry Jungkook'

He just stared ahead but then looked at me also with tears in his eyes 

    'it hurts, but I am in a way relieved to know the truth. I fell for you knowing very well that you were in love with Taehyung, I don't regret anything cause you made me happy and I think I made you happy as well. I don't know about being friends or how to do it with this child in case it is mine. but that will come later when we know.'

He got up from the couch

    'I think it's better if I leave now'

He walked towards the door and I felt tears rolling over my cheeks. He turned around

    'I truly loved the moments I spent with you y/n. and I hope you find your happiness with Taehyung'

He closed the door and with that the man I grew to love was now gone.

I needed a moment before messaging Taehyung. I knew I had to read my letter to him as well. When I was calm. I sent out a message and soon the doorbell rang again. I opened the door.

    'y/n' Taehyung said
    'can you come inside please?' I asked and Tae followed me to the living room

    'Yoongi said Jimin and Jungkook suddenly left. is everything alright?' Taehyung asked me and I looked at him.

    'I wrote four letters that Monday you visited me before I went to Seoul. I just read the one to Jungkook and if you don't mind I would like to read my letter to you'

Taehyung nodded but I saw he was tense as he took a place on the couch, just as Jungkook had done.

It was silent and my hand was trembling a bit, but I started reading.

'Dear Taehyung

If you read this that means I am either taken by Kai again or in the worst case I am dead. It actually scares me. The reason death scares me is because of you. you were the one that made me feel alive. When I walked into your office hiding for Taemin and applying for a job I had no clue about, I felt nothing. The first weeks I worked for you I felt nothing. But slowly you made me feel things.

yes we sometimes go against each other but even though you disagreed with me you always respected me. I know you are not great at expressing what you feel but those little things showed me enough.

I can honestly say that you are the first person I fell in love with. It was an unusual feeling, one that I hoped to ignore that was until Yoongi's birthday. Those weeks after I was the happiest I had been in basically my life, until that meeting with Taemin.

You saved my life by catching that bullet for me. The thought of losing you in that moment was almost unbearable. You went into a coma and I would hold onto hope. But I admit, it was so difficult not to lose hope, especially when I had to go to Busan after Kai's threat. Even though I thought about you every day I did fall for another.

Miraculously you woke up and I had been so confused about my feelings but it really became clear today.

The thing is I am pregnant and I realized that I keep hoping it is yours, beceause you Kim Taehyung are the love of my life.

I never imagined myself wanting to start a family, as my future was determined by Taemin and the thought of having his children always scared me.

but there is nothing I would have loved more than starting a family with you.

I love you, always

y/n'

There was a silence. it made me so nervous and awkward.

    'I understand if you need time or if you don't want me anymore, I mean I endangered perhaps your baby, and maybe it's not your baby cause I was with another man, and that in itself is already terrible, so yeah uhm.'

I rattled, I thought I needed to make a choice but let's be honest so did Taehyung; if he even wanted to be with me anymore.

He kept staring forwards, making me more nervous. It increased the possibility that indeed he was done with me.
After a while he suddenly looked straight in my eyes.

    'marry me.'

    'what' I gasped, it was I suppose the last thing I expected him to say.

    'y/l/n y/n, you are also the love of my life and there is nothing I would love more than start a family with you, yes you made a mistake in endangering yourself but as I said in a way I get it, besides I made mistakes as well, we just have to figure out what to do when Jungkook is the father but that does not change my feelings for you, and apparently neither yours for me.'

He got a ring out of his pocket.

     'I have been carrying this ring with me since I woke up, and I have been waiting for the right moment.'

I felt my eyes getting watery,

    'so what's your answer?' he asked.

    'nothing would make me happier' I replied and he smiled.

He leaned closer and kissed me softly.