Chapter Twenty Seven- Sadie

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9 Years Ago

I stood on my tiptoes, balancing along the cement ledge that went along the pier, gazing into the water below me. The drop on one side was only a few feet high, but on the other was much more treacherous. It was about twenty feet to the sharp lava rocks below that the ocean waves crashed violently into. One tiny slip and there would be no way of catching myself.

It was getting dark, and Brandon and I were almost the only ones left up here now. It was always one of our favorite places to come and watch the sunset, although tonight, I might as well have been alone.

Brandon sat just a few feet away from me, dead to the outside world. His expression was pensive as he stared down at whatever it was he was looking at on his phone. He had been this way since we got here, but he brushed it off when I asked him about it. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where his mind was at though. It seemed like work was all he thought about anymore and although neither one of us spoke about it, I could feel the tension mounting between us. Brandon was starting to get more responsibility within the group, and while he loved every second of it, it was really wearing on me.

If it had been my choice, I never would have chosen this life, but Brandon lived and breathed for it. He loved being needed and was quickly solidifying his value to the group. He was brilliant, and when he wanted to apply himself, he was unstoppable. Never once did Brandon question his position here, but for me, that was a daily occurrence. I was constantly thinking about what else was out there, and what life I could have beyond all of this violence and bullshit. Brandon was pulling away from his life as an eighteen-year-old kid, and farther into the furloughs of the Mafia, while I was clawing my way to as normal of a life as I could possibly get. I was worried about my math test next week and what dress I would wear to Homecoming, and Brandon was concerned with weapon trades and cleaning up crime scenes. We were moving in two very different directions, and right now, I felt a million miles away from Brandon.

We would have to have a conversation about it soon, but it could wait. I was trying to push all of those thoughts out of my mind and enjoy one of the last true nights of fall we would get this year. Soon, it would be too cold to even be close to the water like this, let alone walking along the breakers in a pair of shorts and my boyfriend's flannel.

"Why don't we walk down to Ingrid's and get some ice-cream?" I offered, swinging my arms along my sides as I danced closer to him.

No answer.

"Brandon? Did you hear me? I want to go to Ingrid's." I tried to mask the irritation in my voice.

"Whatever you want, babe." He was placating me now. He glanced up and his face twisted in frustration. "Would you get your ass down from there? You're going to get yourself killed."

At least he was paying attention to me now. "You know, Mrs. Dimanna asked me where you were for Physics again today... People are going to start thinking something is wrong with you if I have to keep using the doctor's appointment excuse." I arched my eyebrow at him. He had been missing so much school to take care of things at the warehouse that it felt like all I did was lie for him.

Brandon smirked, shoving his phone in his pocket and reaching for my hand. He yanked me down so I got off the ledge and then pulled me over his lap. "Thank you for looking out for me. Maybe it's time I just drop out so you don't have to lie anymore."

"What?" I frowned. "Why would you do that?"

He shrugged. "It's not like I need a degree."

"You might." I defended. "What if you want to do something different someday?"

Brandon chuckled, tossing his head back. When I didn't laugh, his face became expressionless. "You're serious?"

"Well yeah. The Mafia isn't the only thing in the world." I countered. "Don't you ever wonder..."

"Don't start this tonight, Sadie." He rolled his eyes. "I've had a long day already. All I want is to hang out with you and forget about all the other bullshit."

"What about what I want?"

Brandon rubbed his forehead. "Sadie, how many times are we going to go over this? Huh?"

He was getting uncharacteristically worked up now.

"All I meant was..."

"I know what you meant. You want me to do something else so we can have a normal life and not be a part of this anymore. But that's not realistic and you know it. We're not leaving, this is the life we were born into. It's not a choice, and even if it was, I'd want to do this. You and I are going to stay right exactly where we are until I take over for my father." He ran his fingers through his hair. "I hate having this argument with you because all it does is leave you disappointed."

I wiped a tear off my cheek. He was right, all it did was leave me disappointed. Disappointed in him, disappointed in myself. Disappointed that this was our life and if I wanted to stay with Brandon, there was no choice.

"Baby, come here. You know I hate it when you cry." He pulled me in, softening a little bit. "I know this is hard for you right now, but it won't always be so bad. When I take over things will be different."

"Will they though?" I bit my lip. "Or will they just get worse? It's already starting to monopolize you and I can feel you drifting away. I don't want to lose you, Brandon."

"You could never lose me, princess. I want you right by my side for all of it." He put his hand to my cheek, wiping away at the tears.

"I don't mean physically Brandon. I mean you. The person you are, because that person is my best friend, and my favorite person in the entire world. But you're changing. I can already feel it." The thought made me sick. I didn't want Brandon to become just another desensitized mafia man, hell bent on showing just how powerful he was. That wasn't who he was but I knew this life would make him that way.

"Sadie," He gave me a sympathetic smile. "We all change as we grow up, and it doesn't have to be a bad thing. I know you have this idea in your mind of what life in the Mafia is like, and I know it scares you, but it doesn't have to be that way for us. Believe me, I want to give you the best life I possibly can, and I swear to you, I will make it was normal as possible for you. You've just got to trust me on that. Can you do that?"

I hesitated, not willing to admit defeat. I hoped her was right, but I was jaded by my experiences. "I want to."

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "You're everything to me, you know that? And there is nothing in the world that's going to change that. Even when we're sixty years old, passing this business down to our children, I'll still feel the same way about you."

I knew his words were meant to be comforting, but all it did was pour salt in my wound. I hated the idea of handing this business down to our own children, condemning them to the same violent and restrictive childhood we had. How could anyone want that for their children? All this was doing was making me realize how disconnected Brandon and I really were right now. We loved each other endlessly, but we might as well be on different planets with the way we were thinking.

"Come on. Let's get out of here. I'll take you to Ingrid's and then we can go watch a movie at my place before I have to get you home." Brandon took my hand in his and led me down the boardwalk.

There was still so much on my mind, but I didn't feel like getting into it all tonight. I wouldn't get anywhere with him. He had made his mind up. Now it was just time for me to do that as well.

Present

I was in the bedroom when I heard a knock at the front door. I wasn't expecting anyone, but if security had let them up here, it was probably somebody I knew. You could never be too careful though, so I checked in the peephole before opening it. It was Adam.

"Hey!" I smiled, letting him inside. "I wasn't expecting to see you today."

"I was in the neighborhood, so I figured I'd stop by. And I kind of have a surprise for you." He grinned, kissing me on the cheek and brushing past me into the condo. "You look better."

"Thanks." I shut the door behind us and followed Adam further into the house. "I feel really great actually, despite Brandon making me see the doctor every few days."

"He just wants to take care of you. Cut the guy some slack."

"I should have known you'd take his side." I led him into the living room. "So what's this surprise?"

"Here." As we sat down on the couch, he handed me an envelope.

"What is this?" I asked, looking for some kind of clue as to what was inside.

"Just open it." Adam rolled his eyes.

I lifted the flap and pulled out the neatly folded paper inside. It took me a few seconds to realize what I was holding, and when I did, it took my breathe away. "Your diploma."

Adam nodded eagerly. "I got it in the mail this morning and I wanted you to be the first one to see it. We did it!"

"Adam, this is awesome. I am so proud of you." It was surreal to be holding this piece of paper in my hands, so bitter sweet. I had given up so much in order for him to get this, and while I knew it hadn't all been for nothing, we were right back where we had been. It didn't make the accomplishment any less impressive, but the timing was painfully ironic. All this was, was a piece of paper now. He was going to join Brandon and become part of the group and my worst fears were becoming a reality right before my eyes. Everything I had worked for was just gone, and holding his diploma in my hands as I sat in Brandon's house was like a gut punch.

"Thanks, Sadie. There is no way in the world I could have done this without you. I know I didn't tell you enough, but I really am thankful for all that you did for me. I know how important this was to you." He gave me a sweet smile.

It had been important to me, but I wasn't sure exactly why. I had been the only one concerned with it, Adam certainly couldn't have cared less. After all this time, the thing I thought would save him from this type of life had done nothing of the sort. Instead, it had basically driven him right to it.

"And I'm sorry again for getting you involved in all of this bullshit. I never should have put you in that position after everything you did to keep me away from it."

I paused for a second, trying to organize my thoughts. There was a side of me that was still furious with him for throwing everything away the way that he had. I wanted him to do something productive with his life and not get caught up in the fast and furious world of the mafia. But the other part of me couldn't exactly be upset. If he hadn't joined Rivas, I never would have agreed to work with Herrera, and Brandon and I probably never would have gotten back together. I had to swallow my pride a little bit and accept that maybe taking Adam away from this family and our lives here had done more harm than good. We were lucky that we had found our way back home.

"Well, maybe it's not all bad." I smiled. "Things have a way of working out for the best and maybe that's what happened here."

Adam's face twisted in confusion. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my sister?"

"Don't be so dramatic." I laughed. "I just mean that I think you and I have ended up right where we were supposed to be all along. And I'm sorry for standing in the way of that. I got so caught up in what happened to mom and dad and all I wanted was a different life for you. It never really occurred to me to ask you what you wanted."

Adam grinned. "Sadie, you gave me the most incredible life I ever could have asked for. Living with you in Colorado was incredible, and I know how much you had to sacrifice and I'll never be able to repay you for that. I know you had the best of intentions, but if I'm being honest, I'm glad to be back here. It just feels right, you know?"

"I know. I'm happy we're back too." I agreed.

"So things are going good with you and Brandon then?"

"We have a long way to go, but we're getting there." I let out a heavy sigh. "Sometimes I just want so badly for things to be the way that they were that I forget we're different people now, and eight years have gone by. It's just going to take time."

"He really loves you, you know that?"

"I do." I nodded. "And I love him."

"Well, thank God. It's been miserable watching you try to deny that the last eight years." He stood up, chuckling. "I've got to get going. It's a big night for us."

How could I forget? Tonight was the night that Brandon was luring Herrera to the pier and going to tell him that he knew he was trying to use me to work against him. He had been so calm about the whole thing, but I was going out of my mind with worry. I had no idea how Brandon could act so blasé about it, but I had to remember he was used to this kind of thing. Maybe someday I would be too, but for now, all it did was make me anxious.

"Be safe, okay?"

"I will." Adam kissed my cheek one more time as he hugged me. "Does this mean I have your blessing? You know, to work with Brandon and stuff?"

I let out a heavy sigh. "Its not my first choice, but if this is what you want, I'll support you."

"Thanks Sadie." Adam grinned. "That really means a lot."

"Just don't do something stupid and go and get yourself hurt, okay?"

"You got it." He opened the door. "See you tomorrow!"

"See you tomorrow, Adam." I laughed to myself shutting the door behind him.

It was hard for me to admit, but he fit in well here, with the family and in the business. Brandon was right, I couldn't stand in his way anymore, he was an adult and I had to let him figure things out on his own. It was hard to let go, though.

Now all I could do was pray that everything would go smoothly tonight and no one would get hurt. 

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