Chapter Eighteen- Sadie

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Waking up in the hotel suite nest to Brandon was incredibly bitter sweet. I had halfway hoped this was some kind of dream I would wake up from, but when I opened my eyes to his half naked body next to me and a giant rock on my left hand, it was hard to deny. We had laid next to each other all night without touching, which was at least an improvement from the night before when he had refused to even sleep in the same room as me. It was certainly not how I had envisioned my wedding day, but I knew I had to lay in the bed I had made.

I had no clue what the next few days would hold. Brandon hadn't even told his parents that we were married, but that was the least of my worries. Herrera's reaction was what I was most concerned about. Brandon swore he would do whatever he had to keep me out of jail for my crime, but I couldn't shake the sinking feeling in my stomach that this was all going to come back to bite me. Now that I had given myself up to Brandon, Herrera would be out for blood, and since I was just a stepping stone in his bigger vendetta, he wouldn't care in the slightest about what happened to me. The only thing Brandon and I had going for us right now was that Herrera had no clue that I had come clean, but I didn't really know what that meant in the grand scheme of things. It didn't change what I had done or the evidence Herrera had on me. Not even Brandon was above the law and as far as I knew, his connections only reached so far.

When I left Rockaway, I thought about this exact morning so many times. The way it was supposed to go anyways. Thinking about the plans and dreams Brandon and I had conjured up was what kept me going for those first few years, some of them ingrained so deeply in me that it was like I was watching a movie of our lives. For a while, they were painful to think about, but soon I began to take comfort in them, almost pretending as if it was another life I had lived entirely. One where Brandon and I had lived out our every fantasy, traveling the world and visiting new places together, raising our children in a great big house on the hill. One where we were untouchable, free from the constraints of the mafia, and all of the expectations of who we were supposed to be. In my dream world, none of the bullshit was between us anymore and we were so deliriously happy.

The problem with dreaming though, was that most of the time, reality never quite measured up. In my dreams, Brandon and I woke up the day after our wedding intertwined in each other in a little bungalow on the beach, crystal clear water in every direction, and nauseatingly in love. We would have spent the day before celebrating on a beach with our friends and family, sharing a sideways grin as we made small talk with our guests, both desperate to get to our room where we could finally be alone. The reality was much bleaker. Brandon could try to paint it anyway he wanted but the reality was that we wouldn't be married if it wasn't our last resort. If I hadn't driven him to the absolute edge by even considering working against him. If I had just swallowed my pride and called him from the very beginning. So now here we were, locked in a marriage that was supposed to keep us both out of jail, with a wedge as big as the Grand Canyon between us. I deserved every bit of, and I would never deny that, but it didn't it any easier to stomach.

When he stirred next to me, I snapped my eyes shut again, pretending to be asleep. I wasn't ready to get up and face the day, to face him, and when he climbed out of bed without a word, I figured he felt the same. Brandon shut the door to the bathroom quietly and I heard the shower kick on. Three days ago, I would have happily joined him, but today I thought better of it. He made it clear that he wanted things between us to be real again, but I knew he was a long way from that and it wasn't fair of me to push it.

Instead, I grabbed my phone off of the nightstand and slipped out onto the balcony. I had three unread text messages--one from a friend in Denver trying to make dinner plans, one from Adam asking if I was okay, and the last one was from Herrera.

Just seeing his name on the screen made the blood in my veins turn to ice. I could handle this myself, but I figured Brandon would want to know. So much for not interrupting him.

I knocked gently on the bathroom door, waiting for his response before I went in.

"Come in." He called, a little bit muffled from his head being under the water.

I opened it hesitantly, carefully plotting my every move. Damn it, why did I have to feel this way around him? It wasn't like I was scared of him. I knew he'd never hurt me, and he already knew everything I was hiding, so why was I acting like a guilty child?

"Hi." I said.

"Hey." He chuckled, realizing how ridiculous this entire interaction was so far. "Is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine. I just... Herrera texted me." I said quickly. "He wants me to call him."

Brandon shut the shower off abruptly and reached for a towel. "Did you?"

I shook my head. "I thought I should tell you first."

Brandon nodded, letting out a heavy sigh. "I want you to act like nothing has changed, he needs to think you're still on his side."

"Okay." I agreed, hoping I could pull that off.

"And I want him on speaker." He added. He still didn't fully trust me, but I certainly couldn't blame him.

"Okay. Do you want to finish getting ready first?" I blushed slightly, staring at the ground. Brandon was still dripping wet with nothing but a very thin towel around his waist that left very little, if anything, to the imagination. I was already going to have a difficult time acting normal with my sky-high nerves, but if he didn't put some clothes on, that wouldn't be the only thing.

He shook his head. "We need to do it as soon as possible so he doesn't think anything is up. When is the last time you spoke with him?"

"Not since before he sent the guy to my apartment."

Brandon grimaced at the reminder of what had happened to me. "Then let's do it."

He pushed through the bathroom door and sat down on the bed, motioning for me to join him.

I was trembling with anxiety as I sat down, clutching the phone in my hand. Brandon gently put his hand to my knee, recognizing my nerves and rubbed back and forth with his thumb. "Relax. You can do this." He assured me. "He doesn't know anything, you're the one in charge now."

I nodded, hoping some of his confidence would rub off on me. Opening the phone, I clicked on his name and then put it on speaker immediately.

It started to ring, and with each passing beep, I felt myself calm down a little bit. He was right, nothing had changed in Herrera's mind, all I had to do was act normal. I could do this.

"I was wondering when you were going to call." Herrera snickered from the other end of the line. His voice immediately sent goosebumps over my skin.

"I've been a little busy recovering." I quipped. "I had a visitor a few nights ago."

"I heard." He chuckled. "Maybe now you'll understand how serious I am about this. I don't like being played with, Sadie."

Brandon clenched his fists, looking like he was ready to jump through the phone and rip Herrera's throat out.

"I wasn't..."

"Shut up. I don't care what you were trying to do. You expect me to believe the two of you are fucking and that's all the information you've got? Some old storage facilities that had been cleaned out?"

I hesitated, unsure of how to respond. Brandon quickly pressed the mute button on the phone so Herrera couldn't hear us.

"Tell him that I asked you to move in with me, so you'll have more information by the end of the week." He coached.

I nodded, right as Herrera spoke again.

"Sadie?"

"I'm here." I said quickly. "I'm sorry it didn't pan out at the storage house, but I think I have something that you're going to like. Brandon asked me to move in with him, he wants to try things again between us."

"Intriiiiiging." Herrera sneered.

"I should have more by the end of the week."

"I have a better idea. Remember that wire you refused to wear? Set it up in the house. Home office or the bedroom or whatever. Just somewhere where I can get him on tape." He paused. "Actually, let's meet. I'll get you a better one."

I let out an exasperated sigh. "You can't just keep changing the plan. He's going to notice if I put a wire in our bedroom."

Brandon shook his head and I immediately clamped my mouth shut, worried I had said the wrong thing. I was so afraid to mess this up.

"It's okay," Brandon whispered so quietly that Herrera wouldn't be able to hear. "Tell him you'll do it."

"I'm feeling patient today." Herrera continued. "So, I am going to remind you again, I am the only thing standing between you and a jail cell. You'll do whatever the hell I want you to. Are we clear?"

"Okay." I said quietly.

"Good. Now I expect a call from you in the next few days so I can get you a better wire, and you'll set it up. Otherwise, you're done."

"I understand."

"I'll be in touch." He hung up the phone without another word and I was left with a dial tone on the other line.

"I'm sorry." I said to Brandon, tossing my phone onto the bed and running my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I didn't know what to say."

"It's okay, Sadie. You did good." He gave me a half smile.

"Are you sure? Now if I don't put the wire in..."

Brandon put a finger to my lips to quiet me. "You'll put the wire in, and he'll hear exactly what we want him to through it. You did just fine."

I bit my lip, trying to calm my breathing. Why the hell was I such a mess lately? This person wasn't me, and I definitely wasn't enjoying the emotional, scatterbrained version of myself.

"Do you think he's really going to put me in jail?" I asked.

Brandon gave me a sympathetic smile. "Not if I can help it. I'm the one he wants and right now, you're the strongest lead he has. I'm not going to let you go down for this, Sadie. Herrera might be determined, but he's blinded by his end goal. He's going to make mistakes, and when he does, I'll be right there."

I hoped he was right.

"And I've already got Alex looking in to how serious the charges are. He may have been bluffing this entire time just to get you on his side."

His words were like a punch to my gut. I shouldn't have been surprised at the idea that the charges might not even be true, but I felt like such a fool for playing into his trap if that was the case. "You think this all could have been for nothing?"

Brandon hesitated, knowing how stupid I already felt and trying to save me even more shame. "I don't know what it is yet, Sadie. All I know is that Herrera is a manipulative bastard and you're not the first person he's tried to use against my family. Let yourself off the hook a little bit."

"What do you mean I'm not the first?" I frowned. I had never heard about anyone else going against the Avenettis before. What could he be talking about?

"That's a story for a later date." Brandon closed up, realizing he had already said too much. "Right now, all you need to worry about is doing exactly what I tell you to do with Herrera. Everything is going to be fine. I promise."

He stood up and stretched his arms above his head. "I'm going to finish getting ready, my parents are expecting us soon."

"Okay." I said, standing up myself. While Brandon finished his shower, I got myself ready and soon, we were in the car on the way to his parents.

I stared out the window on the way, thinking about the logistics of this. This was supposed to be a temporary move, but now that we were married, I was going to relocate here permanently.

I loved our place in Denver. It was incredible to be able to go to just go to the mountains on a whim, or see them on my drive every day. Adam and I used to go hiking a few times a month, exploring the forests and all kinds of beautiful places. We'd seen lakes and water falls and snow-capped peaks that absolutely took your breath away. All it took was a ten-minute drive west from our house and it was like being lost in the wilderness. Denver was a big city, but nothing like New York. It was still fairly open and not swarming with people. It was just the right amount of busy and Adam and I had eventually settled in to a life there. I had a job and friends and now I was going to have to give that all up. And I was probably going to have to sell our condo and that broke my heart most of all.

When Adam and I first moved out there, we stayed in a hotel until we found the perfect thing. Our parents had left us enough money to buy a place to live outright, and we made an agreement that we wouldn't get anything until we both agreed it was the right one. We must have toured 50 houses during our search, but once we stepped foot in cute little condo in the heart of downtown, we knew we were home. The condo was situated on the tenth floor of a community overlooking the Platte River and the numerous parks that lined it. We were high enough to have a picture-perfect view of where the sprawling city met the majestic mountains. It was just the right size for us without feeling too cramped or overly big. The kitchen was my favorite part. White cabinets with intricate granite counters tops. In the summer time, the sun shown in through the long windows as I cooked dinner. There was a balcony off the living room and when the weather was nice, Adam would grill for us and we'd spend the evening watching bikers and joggers and families walking through the parks below. It was quiet and safe, but close enough to the city that we could walk whenever we wanted. It was hard to think about not going back there.

"What are you thinking about?" Brandon asked, eyeing me carefully.

I let out a small laugh, realizing I was being a little ridiculous. In the scheme of things, our condo didn't mean much. "I was just thinking about our house back in Denver. What do you want me to do with it?"

Brandon shrugged. "Sell it, rent it...It doesn't matter to me. It's yours to do what you want with."

I frowned slightly, confused by his words. "I guess I just thought now that we're married..."

"Now that we're married, we're still two separate people, Sadie. We might be joined together, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to expect you to concede to me for everything. You're an adult, one who I happen to love and respect. And I trust your decisions..." He paused, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Well, most of the time. But the point is, as my wife, you're my partner, not someone I rule over."

"Really?" Now I was completely surprised. I hadn't been expecting that reaction at all.

"Of course." Brandon almost looked offended. "Why would you think otherwise?"

"It's just not how traditional mafia marriages work." I said, toying with the ring on my finger. It would be a long time before I got used to this thing.

Brandon laughed out loud. "What exactly is traditional about you and I getting married so that we can have spousal immunity in court?"

"I guess that's a good point."

"It's always been a partnership between us, Sadie. You know that." Brandon said.

"I know." I said. "I guess I just figured things between us had changed."

"The circumstances may have changed, but the connection between us... that's no different at all." He smiled softly, reaching over and resting his hand on my leg. "I will always respect you and value your opinions, Sadie. I may not always be able to honor your wishes, but I'll always take them into account."

"Thank you for saying that." I softened a little bit. I had been so uptight the last few days, but I could finally feel myself starting to let my guard down.

"It's the truth." Brandon said.

"As long as we're on the subject of you taking my opinions into account, we need to do something about this car." I teased. I had never taken Brandon to be a sports car guy, but here he was. The inside of the car was in impeccable shape, the entire thing probably custom tailored to him. It was really nice, but I was nervous to even breath in it for fear of smudging the windows.

"What?" Brandon laughed. "What's wrong with the car?"

"It's just so..." What word was I looking for? Gaudy? Over the top? "Not you."

"Oh yeah?" He arched his eyebrows, clearly intrigued.

"Yeah. I always see you as driving that old Ford truck you had in high school."

"Which I've still got." He grinned. "It hasn't been out of the garage in ages though. You really like that old thing better than this? It's an Aston Martin, you know."

"Yes, I much prefer that old beat-up truck." I laughed. "You really still have it?"

Brandon nodded. "I've tried to get rid of it a million times but it's just full of memories. Always felt like I was selling part of my soul when I got ready to let it go, so I never did."

He was right. That truck was full of memories for me too. Memories of riding around and blasting music in it, the way the wind ripped through my hair when the windows were down, the time we got stuck on a back road on the way home from a concert in Jersey when we were both supposed to be at home in our beds, countless nights snuggled up underneath a blanket in the bed of it staring up at the stars. In fact, I lost my virginity in the back of that truck. I was amazed he still had it. "I'm glad you kept it."

"Me too." Brandon smiled.

All of our talking had effectively distracted me from our drive. When I looked up, we were sitting in front of his parents' house and all of a sudden, my nerves came back in full force. They were going to hate me.

"Ready?" He asked, reaching for my hand.

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