Chapter 20 - Heartbreak & Nightmares

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

**** Berkley's Point of View ****

Berkley came into the house carrying some cotton candy, nachos, and a huge soda Dean had bought her at the arcade.

"You spoil me too much," she teased, as she watched him kick the door shut behind them with his foot, because his arms were busy carrying the huge stuffed giraffe he had won for her on the three point shot basketball game.

"Tell me about it," he said with a light-hearted laugh, throwing the giraffe down onto the couch. "I figured you deserved it though after beating a bunch of full grown men on Dungeons and Mayhem. They take that game WAY too seriously. You could tell they were really pissed about getting beat by a teenage girl," he laughed.

"I know. I loved it," she said with a proud smile, setting her stuff down on the kitchen counter. "Little do they know, I hardly count as a girl. Growing up with you and my brother and all your friends pretty much makes me an honorary dude," she laughed.

Dean laughed too, shaking his head. "No, you're definitely not a dude Berk."

"Hey, you're the one that's always told me I'm just one of the guys, remember?" she asked, walking up and poking her fingernail into his chest with a mischievous smirk.

He ran a hand up through his hair and shook his head, laughing. "No, you're definitely NOT just one of the guys .......... not anymore," he added, letting out an exhale and stuffing his hands into his pockets, looking down at the floor.

Hearing him say that made her stomach do a flip. He had told people so many times throughout the years that she was just one of the guys, but apparently he didn't see her that way anymore.

He walked past her and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, taking a long drink from it before getting a lighter out of the drawer.

"I'm gonna go start a fire in the fire pit," he told her before sliding the backdoor open and disappearing outside.

She watched him walking down to the beach out the window, thinking about the fact that he had been acting really weird today. He was a lot more guarded and hesitant than normal.

They had always been very touchy-feely with each other their entire lives. When they said goodbye, they would usually give each other a hug and a kiss on the cheek. When she was going through a hard time, he would snuggle up and hold her in his arms and when he was sore from sports, she would give him a massage to make it feel better.

When they were hanging out with friends, she would plop down into his lap and it was pretty common for him to lay his head in her lap so she could run her fingers through his hair while she was reading a book. Growing up they had movie nights on the weekends and he'd usually end up falling asleep in her bed and staying over, and sometimes she'd even wake up to them cuddled up together.

That was their normal, not this weird, distant thing he was doing today. He had walked and sat a little further away, leaving a big gap between them and he seemed to be avoiding looking at her. She didn't like it and she decided to make it her personal mission to change things back to how they were before.

She walked through the sliding door and out towards the beach. It was a beautiful night, with the dark sky full of white, twinkling stars overhead and a warm breeze blowing lightly, carrying the fresh smell of the ocean with it. She could hear the gentle crashing of the ocean waves in the background, as the white powdery sand squished between her toes.

When she reached the fire pit, Dean was sitting on a log, poking at the small flames with a stick and she sat down beside him, laying her head down onto his shoulder and staring at the dancing flames in front of her.

They sat there in silence for a minute before she finally lifted her head off his shoulder and asked quietly, "Penny for your thoughts?"

He took a deep breath in and exhaled, poking at the fire and avoiding eye contact with her. She could feel some tension between them, but she wasn't sure why.

"I guess it would be a good idea for us to talk about all of this."

Hearing the way he said that made her nervous and she quietly said, "Okay."

He was looking down at the fire in deep thought with an intense gaze in his eyes. She knew that look well. That was the look guys got when they were about to break up with you. She would know. She had been dumped several times, most of which were because either Dean or her brother had threatened the guy within an inch of their life if they didn't.

"Berk," he started hesitantly. "This thing that's going on between us, it can't happen. I care about you too much and I don't want to see you get hurt and I don't want to ruin our friendship."

She sat there listening to his words, feeling the blood slowly leaving her face and she suddenly felt numb.

"Berkley," he said softly, giving her a sympathetic look as he laid a hand on her leg. "I'm sorry I sent the wrong message last night at the club. After four shots of tequila, I wasn't thinking straight," he said with an exhale. "It was a mistake."

Hearing that he thought it was a mistake broke her heart because last night had been the single greatest night of her life and she didn't regret one second of it.

"What about this morning, and earlier when you tried to kiss me? You weren't drunk then," she said with her face scrunched up in confusion.

He rubbed his hands over his face and let out an exhale, shaking his head. "I know. I just got carried away and let things go too far and I'm sorry about that. I swear I wasn't trying to lead you on. You know I'd never do that to you."

She sat there in disbelief, with her brain trying to process what he was saying. The gist of it was, he didn't want to be with her, and knowing that really hurt.

She should've known Dean could never have serious romantic feelings for her. He was way out of her league and always had been. She shook her head and slowly stood up.

"Sorry. I ummm. I think I just need to be alone for a while," she choked out, and she turned and started walking back towards the house as her eyes filled up with tears.

"Berkley!" she heard him shout after her, but she didn't stop or even slow down. His explanation made no sense. He didn't want to hurt her, so he hurt her. That's man logic.

"I don't want to hurt you so I'm gonna break your heart," she grumbled sarcastically as she went into her room and locked the door behind her. There was no way she was going to let him sleep in bed with her that night.

She sat down on her bed and covered her face with her hands and started to sob into them. She hadn't cried that hard in a long time. The pain was intense and overwhelming. She had been dumped plenty of times, but she had never had a man break her heart like that before in her life.

Maybe with another guy she could've had no strings attached sex without any consequences and then moved on like nothing happened, but she should've known better than to think she could do that with Dean. He was her best friend, the one person she was closer to than anyone else in the world.

She should've known that having sex with him would change things between them. Dean knew and he had tried to warn her, but she refused to listen. She couldn't be mad at him. She was disappointed that he didn't want to be with her, but she was only mad at herself.

She had known from the start what their agreement was and that they were supposed to just have sex with no feelings involved and go back to being just friends after. She couldn't be mad at him for not feeling what she was feeling. It was her own fault for letting herself fall for him so hard.

She remembered how she used to think the women that got their hearts broken by him were dumb because they knew he didn't want a relationship from the start, but they still let themselves fall for him anyway. Now here she was in the same boat as those women she had judged so harshly. Karma sure has a funny way of making you eat your words.

She couldn't hold back the tears that fell from her eyes as she walked into the bathroom and ran a really hot bath and added some lavender bath oil and eucalyptus bath salts to it that she found in the cabinet under the sink. She got undressed and slowly slipped under the steaming hot water, instantly feeling some of the stress drain from her body as she breathed in the scented steam coming off of the water.

Her muscles slowly relaxed and she exhaled deeply, tilting her head back and closing her eyes, trying to shut her mind off so she could enjoy the peace and quiet.

Then she heard the door handle jiggle in her bedroom. When Dean found that it was locked he knocked.

"Berkley? Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath in and exhaled.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's been a long day. I'm taking a hot bath and then I'm going to bed early. I'll see you in the morning."

"Are you sure you don't want me to sleep in there with you tonight, so you don't have any night terrors?"

"No, I'll be fine. I mean, I can't rely on you to sleep with me forever, right? I'm gonna have to learn how to control the night terrors on my own eventually, so I might as well start now."

She tried to disguise the sadness in her voice but she was sure Dean could see right through it. He was always able to read her like a book. She could never hide anything from him.

"Ok," he said, with hesitation in his voice. "If you change your mind just let me know."

"I will. Goodnight Dean."

"Goodnight Berk."

She closed her eyes and held her breath, slipping her head down under the water and drowning out the noise of the outside world. Having her face and whole body under the hot water was relaxing and she finally came up and wiped her hands over her face and ran them up through her wet hair, taking a deep breath in.

After soaking for a long time she finally got out and dried off, slipping into a pair of silk pajama shorts and a silk pajama top with no bra and wrapping her hair up into a towel. She climbed under the covers and created a wall of pillows behind her, trying to trick her mind into believing they were Dean and she hugged a pillow to her chest and just laid there staring at the wall, trying to fall asleep.

It's really hard for people that have night terrors to fall asleep cause it gives you anxiety because you know what's coming if you do. Unfortunately, not sleeping wasn't an option.

She groaned as she rolled over and tried a different position, flipping her pillow over to the cold side and punching it, trying to fluff it up a few times before slamming her head down on it in frustration. She tried everything she could to get comfortable.

'I'm almost nineteen years old. I'm capable of sleeping on my own. I can do this,' she told herself in her head. She had to learn how to control the nightmares without Dean because he wouldn't always be there.

Then a thought crossed her mind. Maybe riding on the boat today was what she needed to have closure. Maybe she wouldn't have any night terrors tonight.

That gave her some peace of mind and she felt a little more relaxed. After tossing and turning non-stop for over an hour, the elusive sleep came and she finally drifted off.

***** Dream at 2:00 AM *****

"I saw something interesting under the water yesterday, but I didn't have my scuba gear with me to get it. It looked like some sort of artifact that could be really old and worth a LOT of money. I wrote down the coordinates and I want to take the boat back out there real quick and look for it."

"Your Dad said there's supposed to be a really nasty storm coming in today. He said it might be the worst storm we've had all year. I think you should just wait and look for your artifact thing in a couple days," Berkley's Mom said, flipping through her phone.

Berkley pulled back the curtain and looked out the window at the clear blue sky that had a few white clouds.

"Mom. It'll be fine. We still have some time before it hits. We're not going that far off shore so if it looks like the storm's coming in, we can head back before it ever gets to us. If we wait, the storm waves could actually move it and it'll be lost forever."

"I don't know honey. I think it might be a bad idea. Your Dad said," she started to say, but Berkley cut her off.

"Ugh, Mom. You're always paranoid," she grumbled, rolling her eyes.

Her Mom was always so overprotective and worried about safety. Her Dad and Keagan were always teasing her about how paranoid she was. Berkley figured she was just overreacting like she always did.

"If it's what I think it is, that thing could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. I'd go by myself to get it but you know Dad's rule; no one goes out on the boat alone. Dean's not answering his phone and Dad's working, so you're my only option."

She walked over and plopped down on the couch beside her Mom and gave her some puppy dog eyes, sticking out her bottom lip. "Pleeeeeease," she begged. "It'll be a quick trip and we'll be back before the storm even starts."

Her Mom studied her face, thinking before hesitantly saying, "Okay honey. Just a quick trip."

"Yes!" Berkley said, giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug before hopping up off the couch.

Berkley grabbed the boat keys off the table and said, "C'mon Mom. Let's go."


You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net