I wanted this day to be over already.

Almost everyone was standing around in the kitchen now, and the overwhelming smells were starting to make me feel nauseous.

I wish I could enjoy this like everyone else.

Maybe I could binge today, and fast later.

No, I can't. Even if I wanted to, I'd probably throw up in front of everyone.

I looked out the window, where Elliott and Evelyn sat on the back porch, rolling my eyes when I saw Elliott grab the vodka bottle from her to take a swig.

Dumb ass hasn't even eaten breakfast.

Well, I guess I can't really say much about that.

I turned and saw Sam next to the table with Jeremiah, talking his ear off. Jeremiah watched him blankly, biting a carrot he grabbed from the vegetable tray, but then he did something that shocked me.

He laughed. Like, full on laughed, throwing his head back and all.

Jeremiah had always been a very stern, intimidating guy; he was the typical cop persona.

Shit. Why didn't I think to tell them he's a cop?

Hopefully they know better than to say anything too crazy around my family.

"Is it too early to open the wine?" Jesse asked from next to me, mindlessly braiding one of her low pigtails. "I get super nervous around new people."

"My family's embarrassing, but they're harmless. No need to worry," I reassured her, watching Jody hug her from behind, pressing his cheek to hers with a lazy smile. She melted into him instantly.

They're so cute, it makes me sick.

I want that.

Just then, Jackson and Dad came into the kitchen. Dad had a proud smile on his face as he gestured for Jackson to follow him over to Mom — who was opening a pack of paper plates while she talked to Aunt Janine.

"About time you showed your face, little brother," I heard Aunt Janine greet Dad, pulling him in for a hug.

"Sorry Jan, but can I steal my wife from you for a second?" Dad asked when they parted, putting his arm around Mom's waist.

"What the hell is your brother doing?" Jody interrupted my eavesdropping, forcing me turn to look out the window again.

Elliott was doing a handstand in the grass while Evelyn held his legs up, laughing uncontrollably — until she lost her grip and Elliott toppled over, landing on his back.

"Being a dumb ass, as usual," I rolled my eyes.

"Is he drunk?" Jesse asked, watching him stumble as he tried to get up. "I thought you said no liquor?"

"I did. Our cousin likes to break the rules," I snorted as I watched Evelyn put her hands on her knees to catch her breath.

"Oh, that's great!" Mom exclaimed from across the kitchen, and I glanced over to see her squeezing Jackson's arm with a big smile.

I narrowed my eyes as Jackson mumbled something with a half smile, and Mom pulled her hand back, mouthing oops.

Then she cleared her throat and clapped her hands together to catch everyone else's attention. "Alright! Let's make our plates, and we can eat out back."

"You guys can go ahead," I told Jesse and Jody. "I'll go bring the idiots inside."

But Jackson apparently had the same idea and beat me to the back door.

"I'll get them. You don't want all the good stuff to be gone when you make your plate, do you?" He asked me with a knowing smirk.

He knows today is a struggle for me, and he's trying to make it more difficult? What a dick.

"You're such an ass, you know that?" I snapped in a hushed tone, glaring at him. "And I'd rather avoid the stampede, thanks."

As if to prove my point, Dad pushed Aunt Janine out of the way to get to the potato casserole. She stumbled into Jeremiah, who dropped a spoon into the bowl of gravy as he tried to steady her — which caused gravy to splash onto his and Jesse's shirt.

Jackson raised his eyebrows and laughed as he watched it all play out, then opened the door. "Ladies first."

"Such a gentleman," I smiled at him sarcastically before walking through.

"Always," he chuckled, tugging a strand of my curled hair, and I quickly smacked his hand away.

"Guys!" I called out to catch the two idiots' attention.

Elliott and Evelyn were sprawled out on the grass now, and lifted their heads to look at us.

"You two are just always together, aren't you?" Elliott asked accusingly as he struggled to get up. "Does no one listen to me?"

Wait, so he talked to Jackson too?

Is that why Jackson keeps pushing me away?

"You know what? Do whatever you want. Get married and build a house with your money," Elliott continued bitterly before barking out a laugh. "And I'll be the drunk uncle to your little mini assholes."

What the fuck did Jackson say to him?

"Food's ready," Jackson said gruffly, shifting his weight as he crossed his arms.

"Well, fuck me! Why didn't you say so?" Elliott threw his hands up in exasperation before running for the door.

"There better be some potato casserole left, or so help me," I heard Elliott announce when he opened the door.

I pursed my lips and snuck a peek at Jackson. He'd taken a small step away from me at some point, and was staring down at the grass like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

"Who are you?" Evelyn piped up, looking Jackson up and down and smoothing out her hair. "I sure hope we aren't related."

Okay, I don't like where this is going.

Jackson looked up at her and furrowed his brows. "We aren't even the same ethnicity."

I pressed my lips together and laughed lightly through my nose.

Never mind, maybe I do like where this is going.

"Well, that's good. Now I can't feel bad for saying you're hot," she said with a flirtatious smile, holding a hand out to him. "I'm Evelyn."

Good God. She's lucky she has the body of a freaking model.

"Jackson," he responded, looking down at her hand then back up to her. "You have grass in your hair."

Evelyn yanked her hand back, sheepishly running her fingers through her hair.

"Come on, Evie," I tried to hide the pride in my voice as I grabbed her arm. "Let's go get food."

I couldn't remember the last time I was in a rush for food, but right now, all I could think about was getting my drunk cousin away from Jackson.

I'm in such deep shit.

"Ow, B. I'm comin'. Loosen the grip," Evelyn whined as she tried to pull her arm away.

"Sorry," I dropped her arm, scratching the side of my neck as everyone started making their way outside with food piled up on their plates.

"Dude. Your mom is a beast in the kitchen," Jody mumbled around the food in his mouth when we walked in, holding a fork with green bean casserole up to Jesse. "Have you tried this?"

She smiled at Jody before grabbing his hand around the fork, guiding it to her mouth. She hummed in agreement as she chewed.

"You gonna feed me too, or what?" Sam asked, batting his eyelashes in Jody's direction, making Elliott and Jackson snort.

"Sure, catch," Jody responded with a mischievous grin, flinging some of the slimy green beans at Sam's face. Sam's reaction was delayed, and he opened his mouth just as the green beans smacked his cheek.

I swallowed hard as I watched them leave a goopy trail down his face, sliding down and landing on the plate in his hands.

Don't throw up. Don't throw up.

"Unfair! I wasn't ready!" Sam yelled at him, wiping his cheek with his hand.

"Stay ready, and you'll never have to get ready," Jody smirked, taking his and Jesse's plate and walking toward the back door.

Jesse grabbed their drinks, telling me she'd save me a spot next to her. I nodded as I watched Elliott pile the rest of the potato casserole onto his plate.

"Hey! I want some of that too," Evelyn whined, scooping some of it off his plate onto her own.

She was a lot whinier than normal today. I wasn't sure if it was because of the alcohol, or if the squeaky pitch was meant to catch Jackson's attention.

But I had to give it to her, it was pretty hard to tune out.

"Yeah, I haven't even tried it yet," Jackson followed her lead.

I bit my lip as I watched Evelyn smile up at him. But he paid no attention to her as he dodged Elliott's flailing hands.

While the three of them were fighting, I took the opportunity to fill my own plate, making sure everything was spread out to appear like there was more. It was still way too much for my liking though, and I was feeling more sick by the second.

Once I was done, I gripped my plate tightly, trying to control my shaking hands as Evelyn and Elliott walked ahead of me.

Too caught up in trying to act normal, I didn't even notice when Jackson fell into step with me.

"Sit next to me."

I stopped walking and took my eyes off the long party table to give him a confused look. "What? Why?"

So you can have a better view of me falling apart? Yeah, I don't think so.

"Just do it," he said through his teeth before leaning closer to me, lowering his voice more. "You —"

"Quit flirting over there and come on!" Grandma interrupted Jackson, making my face flush once again when I realized everyone was watching us.

Evelyn had taken a seat between Jeremiah and Elliott — who was giving us a blank look as he sipped on his drink. Jesse and Grandma had the same knowing look on their faces, while Dad glanced at us before whispering in Mom's ear, making her chuckle.

Conveniently, the only two chairs left were in between Jesse and Grandma.

Sighing, I took a seat next to Jesse, across from Elliott, while Jackson sat between Grandma and I, across from Evelyn.

Everyone immediately dug in once we were seated, so I hesitantly picked up my fork, pushing around my dressing before scooping up a small bite.

"How's work been going, Jer?" Dad asked before taking another big bite.

I was still mushing around my first bite, trying to force my body to let me swallow without gagging.

"Oh man," Jeremiah leaned back in his chair and took a sip of his wine. "I didn't get home until five this morning because of a damn high speed chase."

"That's so cool!" Jody piped up, dropping his fork on his plate — obviously just now tuning into the conversation. "I've always wanted to be in one of those!"

I definitely I should've told them he's a cop.

"You're in Law Enforcement?" Jeremiah asked incredulously, looking Jody up and down.

Jody cleared his throat, picking his fork back up. "No...I thought about it for a while, but I settled on gaming."

Good save.

"Gaming?" Aunt Janine asked with a small frown. "Is there actually money in that?"

Dad's side of the family could be pretty blunt at times. Thankfully he wasn't much like them.

Jody suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable with all the attention on him.

"Oh yeah," Jesse said with a proud smile, resting her hand on his arm. "He's got quite the following, actually. He's basically supporting me while I'm finishing up with school."

"Really?" Aunt Janine pulled her head back. "What are you going to school for?"

"Journalism," Jesse responded with a small smile, then shoved another forkful in her mouth.

I looked down at her plate to see that she'd already made a huge dent in the pile of food.

Jesus. I'm only on my second bite and I feel like I'm going to hurl.

Evelyn gasped and looked at Jesse, eyes shining brightly.

"Oh my God! You know what you could write about? Saving the oceans! I just watched a documentary on it. Do you know how much damage commercial fishing is causing?" Evelyn leaned closer for emphasis.

"And don't even get me started on all the plastic in the ocean, it's heartbreaking."

"Huh," Jesse looked down at the plastic fork in Evelyn's hand. "I might have to look into that."

"Whatever, I wanna hear about this high speed chase!" Sam said, practically bouncing in his seat next to Jeremiah.

I held back a laugh at the shock on Evelyn's face. She wasn't used to people brushing her off — and this makes it twice in one day.

Jeremiah grinned as he sat his fork down. "I was the first one on him, and I was right on him the whole time. Then he decided to try and lose us on a backroad — ended up in a ditch after taking a turn too fast."

"Happy Thanksgiving everybody, my brother made a guy kill himself this morning," Evelyn piped up with fake enthusiasm, holding up her cup before taking a sip.

"Evelyn!" Aunt Janine gasped in disbelief.

I turned to Jackson and our eyes met briefly before he cleared his throat, reaching for his cup.

I shoved another forkful in my mouth to fight a smile.

It felt nice that he could look to me when he was reminded of his mother. Everyone else was oblivious, but I knew what he was going through.

But it would be very inappropriate to smile about that right now.

"He didn't die, he's fine," Jeremiah rolled his eyes. "The Camaro he was driving isn't though — which we suspect was stolen. And we confiscated pounds of marijuana and other narcotics."

Jackson's cup paused midway to his mouth, and I pinched my brow together as I watched him slowly sit it back down.

Did he smoke before dinner or something?

"Well, do you know who the guy is?" Mom asked with a small frown.

"Miguel Rodriguez," Jeremiah shrugged. "We can't get him to talk, so we don't know who he's workin' with or anything yet."

Jackson's eyes widened slightly, then he looked across the table and nodded. So I turned and saw Elliott watching him with his brows raised in question.

What the hell is going on? Does he know this Miguel guy?

There's a lot you don't know about me, Lee.

My blood ran cold as a quiet ringing filled my ears.

Oh my God.

"Brylee, are you alright? You look a little pale," Mom said worriedly, making me blink and turn to her.

"Yeah," I forced out, but it came out a lot higher pitched than I anticipated, so I cleared my throat. "I've just felt a little queasy today."

"No more huggin' me then — I heard the stomach bug's been goin' around," Grandma said with a grimace.

"Ugh, I hope it's not that," I wrinkled my nose.

I saw Jackson turn to me out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't look at him; he knew I was playing along to get out of eating.

I wanted to know what the hell was going on, and I knew seeing the disappointment on his face would make me lose focus.

"Do you need some medicine?" Mom asked with a concerned frown.

I shook my head and picked up a roll off my plate. "It's okay, I'll just nibble on this."

"Alright, I'll just make a plate for when you get your appetite back," Mom said before picking her fork back up, and I nodded with a grateful smile.

"Speaking of making a plate," Dad piped up as he stood. "I'm gonna get dessert."

The guys mumbled in agreement and followed him, but Elliott stayed in place. I grimaced while he chugged the rest of his drink before slamming the cup on the table.

"No dessert, El?" Mom questioned.

"Nope," he said with a sloppy smile, patting his stomach. "Gotta save room for the contest."

"Contest?" Jesse asked me.

"Him and Dad have a deviled egg eating contest after dinner every year," I explained, rolling my eyes with a small laugh.

"Ew," she scrunched her nose. "How do they not get sick?"

"This thing is made of steel," Elliott told her, slurring as he continued patting his stomach.

"Elliott, are you drunk?" Mom narrowed her eyes at him, and Grandma began laughing to herself.

Ha! Busted.

Evelyn started to giggle next to him, making Aunt Janine reach over the table and grab her cup, sniffing it. "Evie! I told you, wine only."

This only made Grandma laugh harder, which caused Jesse and I to start giggling as well.

"But Mom," Evelyn dragged out. "I'm legal now!"

"And giving alcohol to your cousin, who is underage," Aunt Janine retaliated with a scowl.

"Hey, only by a couple months," Elliott said defensively.

Mom and Aunt Janine sighed in unison as Dad, Jody, and Jackson joined us back at the table.

Jody had two plates of pecan pie in his hands, sitting the smaller piece in front of Jesse, who smiled gratefully. Dad and Jackson both had heaping servings of banana pudding, but Jackson added a lot of extra whipped cream on top of his.

I wrinkled my nose as he shoved a huge bite in his mouth. Then he noticed me watching and scooted the plate closer to me.

"Want some?"

Keeping the light grimace on my face, I glanced down at it. "No thanks."

"Come on," he pushed, making me roll my eyes and look forward. "Just some whipped cream? It's the best part."

"I said, no tha —"

I was cut off when sticky cream was smeared across my mouth and nose.

My jaw dropped before I narrowed my eyes at Jackson — who was licking his fingers clean.

That asshole.

Grandma was laughing so hard now, no noise came out of her as her shoulders shook.

I licked the cream off my lips as I glared at everyone joining in on the laughter.

Damn, that's good.

I ran my fingers across my face for one more taste, before cleaning the rest off with a napkin.

Jackson was grinning ear to ear when I turned back to him. Then I glanced down at his plate, but he quickly grabbed it before I could, running around the table to hide behind Mom.

I calmly stood and walked to the other side of the table, stopping next to Dad — who was minding his own business, scooping more pudding onto his spoon. I leaned closer to him, smiling sweetly.

"You done with that?" I asked rhetorically, grabbing the plate before he could stop me.

"I only took two bites!" Dad whined.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jeremiah and Sam come out, each with two plates in their hands.

Evelyn suddenly jumped up, running over to Jeremiah and grabbed his plate with a slice of chocolate pie, and he just looked at her questionably.

"Thanks bro," she said sweetly, walking back over to an oblivious Elliott — until she shoved the pie in his face.

Elliott stood up quickly with his arms spread out as chocolate dripped off his face, while Evelyn jumped up and down, clapping at her handy work.

"You're gonna get it," Elliott warned, and Evelyn let out a short scream, running into the yard.

While Jackson was busy watching them run around, I stepped up behind him and tapped on his shoulder.

His laughter faded when he turned and saw me holding Dad's plate up.

"Lee —"

The