My grades were slipping.

I've only ever made one C before now. And that was because I was out with the flu when my class went over the material in seventh grade. I was so upset about it, my mom talked the teacher into letting me retake the test, and I aced it.

Am I too old for my mom to do that now?

No, exam grades are final. No exceptions.

Fuck. What am I going to do?

I wasn't sure what my plan was after school, but I knew my senior year grades were an important factor — especially exam grades.

I'm normally so good at taking tests. What's happening to me?

As much as I wanted to blame Jackson for distracting me, I knew that wasn't the case — not fully, anyway.

My mind had been in a fog for...I didn't even know how long. Long before Jackson moved in, I knew that much.

I've had a constant headache for over a year, and medicine could only do so much. If anything, all it did was make my stomach hurt worse.

I was constantly getting cramps in my arms and legs. Everything just...hurt. All the time.

The twinges in my stomach were becoming more frequent. It felt like someone was reaching in and wringing it tightly in their hands, multiple times a day.

Sometimes eating helped.

But most of the time?

The bathroom was my best friend for the night, while my stomach tried to figure out what to do with the foreign substance invading it.

My sleeping habits had gotten worse and worse with every week that went by. No matter how exhausted I was, sleep never wanted to hold me in it's embrace — not for long, at least.

I was embarrassed to admit the best sleep I'd gotten in a long time was on the floor in Kallie's guest room.

But that was nights ago, and now I'm back to being the plague.

I'd just finished my final set of sit-ups, stretched out on the rug by my bed when Kallie barged in.

She looked at me for a moment, tilting her head to the side before pursing her lips and crossing her arms.

"Are you moving to Japan?"

"No?" I gave her an incredulous look as I sat up, leaning back on my palms. "Why?"

"They sleep on the floor, you know, and it seems like I keep walking in on you like this. I just thought you were practicing or something."

"You're ridiculous," I laughed as I got up to sit on my bed, leaning against the headboard. "I was just stretching."

Kallie simply nodded as she walked over and sat on the bottom corner of the bed.

"What're you listening to?" She asked, picking at the hem of her shirt.

"Cream," I said, furrowing my eyebrows. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" She responded, never looking away from the string she was trying to pull, frowning when the seam continued to unravel.

"You don't seem very...rainbows and sunshine, like you normally are," I observed as I went over to my desk, grabbing a pair of scissors and handing them to her.

She took them from me and cut the string, still not looking up. "I'm not always rainbows and sunshine."

"Well, maybe not rainbows, you're fashion sense is a little dark for that. But I don't call you my sun for shits and giggles," I pointed out, putting my thumb with the moon ring in her line of vision.

She looked at it and twisted the sun ring on her pinky. Then she sighed, and her sad hazel eyes met mine.

"Am I?"

"Of course!" I sat down beside her. "Why would you ask that?"

"I...I just don't understand, is all," she said quietly, looking away as I noticed her eyes beginning to shine with unshed tears.

Shit.

I could count on one hand how many times I'd seen Kallie cry. Whatever was wrong, it was something serious.

"What don't you understand? What's wrong?" I emphasized as I scooted closer to comfort her, but she quickly stood up.

"Why haven't you told me?" She accused, looking down at me as the first tear fell, and she angrily wiped it away.

"Told you what?" I scrunched my face in confusion. "I tell you everything!"

"Oh my gods," she tangled her fingers in her messy curls in frustration. "You're lying. You're always lying — and you really aren't even good at it!"

I watched her with a dumbfounded expression as she began pacing in front of me. I was speechless; she never lost her cool like this.

I mean, she was a little dramatic sometimes, but this was different.

"I always try to be a great friend —"

"You are a great friend," I interrupted her, but she glared at me, daring me to interrupt again, so I snapped my mouth shut.

"I always try to be a great friend," she repeated. "Such a great friend that I waited until after our exams were over, so you wouldn't be distracted — which caused me to be distracted, by the way. I've been waiting so long for you to finally tell me. Only to find out you told Jackson before me? Of all people, Brylee. Jackson? There are no words to describe how much that hurts my feelings."

"I haven't told Jackson anything I haven't told you," I said weakly, a lump forming in my throat.

I think I'm gonna throw up.

I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready.

"Stop lying!" She threw her hands up in exasperation as another tear fell. I couldn't tell if they were sad or angry tears — maybe both.

There was a painful tug in my chest, knowing I was the reason for them.

"It finally clicked the other night. When he was all drunk and pissed off, but he still watched you like he was waiting for you to break. I know he knows. I'm blonde, but dammit Brylee, I'm not an idiot."

She wouldn't even look at me as she continued to pace back and forth.

"You think I haven't noticed that you wear that ring on your thumb now? You used to wear it on your pinky. They're supposed to get smaller on you as you grow up, not bigger.

"I've seen you in the mornings before you put on concealer — the circles under your eyes are horrendous. You space out, a lot. My clothes used to be too small on you; now they barely stay on. And I've watched how you cut up food and push it around to make it look like you ate it. I can't take it anymore!"

"Kallie —" I stood up to move toward her, but she held up a hand to stop me.

"No, just don't. I can't right now, I need to go."

"You just got here," my voice broke. "It's Thanksgiving. Stay, we can talk!"

"We're having a big Black Friday sale at work, I need to get there early," she sighed, rubbing under her eyes.

"We'll talk later?" I asked desperately, trying to hold it together. I'd tell her every single gruesome detail if I had to. Anything to keep from losing her.

I can't lose her.

"Yeah, later," she said mindlessly, walking out the door. "I might be too tired to make it tomorrow, but you have Jackson now, right?"

With that, she closed the door behind her, taking a piece of my heart with her.

Why did that sound like a goodbye?

I crumbled to the floor with a hand to my chest, choking on the sob I'd been trying to hold back.

Is this what heartbreak feels like?

I was numb. My entire body was numb, aside from the stabbing pain in my chest.

I can't breathe.

I knew she would be upset when she found out, yet I still tried to hide it from her. I didn't want to stop, so I put my friendship in jeopardy instead.

When did I become so selfish?

Kallie hadn't been this worked up since she found out her mom was dating. If she can spend a whole summer holding a grudge against her own mom, what does that mean for me?

The bathroom door opened, and I saw the blurry outline of Jackson walking toward me.

"Get out! I don't want you in here," I cried out, but he ignored me and dropped down on the floor in front of me.

I put my face in my hands when the tears wouldn't stop, trying to pretend he wasn't there.

Then I jumped when his hands crept under my legs, and he effortlessly pulled me forward until he was wrapping them around his waist.

One of his hands moved to the back of my head, lightly pulling it to rest on his shoulder.

"I told you to get out," I whimpered, but found myself bundling the front of his shirt in my fists.

"Don't talk," he hushed me, gently rocking back and forth as he ran his fingers through my hair.

That's all it took for me to push my face into the crook of his neck, tears falling freely.

I knew I was probably soaking his shirt, but I didn't have it in me to care at the moment.

"These walls are thin," he said softly when my crying finally slowed. "I heard everything."

"She hates me," I cried into his neck, and the arm that wasn't holding my head squeezed my midsection briefly.

"No, she doesn't. She's just upset, she'll come around."

"You don't know that," I pushed against him to lift my head and glare at him.

He smiled softly, taking his hand from behind my head to wipe my cheek with his thumb. "Yes, I do."

"How?" I tried to scoot out of his lap, but his arm tightened around my back again.

"Do you know how many times I've been a complete asshole to Elliott? To Sam? To you? Yet for some fuckin' reason, you guys still keep me around. If I'm worth forgiving, you sure as hell are. You're a fucking saint."

I scoffed, making him give me a pointed look.

"She loves you, that's why she's so upset right now," he wiped my other cheek. For some reason, the emphasis he put on the first part made my chest clench.

"She'll come around," he repeated with gentle sternness before giving me another small smile.

"She's not coming to our Thanksgiving," I whimpered, looking down when my lip started quivering.

Jackson gripped my chin lightly between his thumb and index finger. I pressed my lips together as he urged me to look up.

Normally, my heart would be ready to explode due to how close we were. But right now, it seemed like it was struggling to even work at a regular pace.

"There will be plenty more Thanksgivings."

I sniffled as I nodded, leaning forward to shove my face back into his neck.

Jackson turned his head, resting it against mine.

"I got you," he whispered next to my ear, making me tighten my grip on his shirt.

"Until you decide to push me away again," I laughed humorlessly, not moving from my position.

"No," he said firmly, hugging me closer so my hands were squished between us.

"You will, though. You always do," I mumbled against him.

"Not this time. You have me now," he repeated Kallie's words. Unlike Kallie's spiteful tone though, his was comforting. He was comforting.

I sighed into his neck and I could've sworn I felt him shiver, but he quickly covered it by tightening his arm behind my back.

I wanted to believe him, but I couldn't. We'd been here too many times — well, not the exact position we were in now.

But I still knew it wouldn't last.

"Why did Elliott tell me to stay away from you?" I asked, pulling my head back to look at him. "I mean, you live here, so that makes no sense, right?"

His arms loosened around me as his eyes met mine. "What'd he say?"

"You're reckless and this needs to stop," I frowned, searching his dark orbs for anything they might give away.

"He's right," Jackson nodded once, and my heart sunk.

I knew it was an empty promise.

"But I won't let anything happen to you," he continued, his arms tightening around my back once again.

I pushed away from him, furrowing my brow. He watched me blankly as I stood.

"What does that even mean? Is anyone ever going to tell me anything?" I threw my arms out beside me, then crossed them and scowled down at him.

He got up, standing in front of me for a moment with an unreadable expression on his face. Then wordlessly, he turned and walked back to his room.

Seriously?

I let out a growl of frustration, banging my fist on the footboard of my bed. Then I hissed through my teeth, cradling my wrist against my chest when a sharp pain shot up my arm.

After a moment, I shook my wrist in front of me, and the pain slowly started to fade as Jackson came back into the room — wearing shoes this time.

"Let's go."

"What? Where?" I frowned, letting my arm drop to my side.

"My favorite place," he gave me a small smirk.

"I'm not in the mood to eat right now," I snapped, sitting down on my bed.

Just the thought made me feel like I was going to throw up.

"Oh, get up," he said impatiently. "We're not gettin' food. I just wanna take you somewhere."