"I don't need food, I need sleep," I whined as Jackson pulled into a twenty-four hour breakfast diner.
"I just watched you throw up stomach acid and alcohol — don't be an idiot," he snapped.
I can't believe I actually threw up in front of him — on another guy.
Please just let me die.
"You need to eat then sleep," he continued in a softer tone, trying to mask his irritation when he noticed my embarrassed face.
Then to intensify my want to freaking die, my stomach made a loud gurgling sound, and I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing Jody's camouflage jacket actually made me invisible.
Jackson let out a small laugh, so I opened one eye to peek at him, seeing him watching me with a lingering smile.
And suddenly, my embarrassment was evaporating.
It wasn't a I'm making fun of you smile, it was a soft eyes, relaxed, just because smile.
He was smiling, just because, with me.
It looked so...sweet.
Like that chocolate I was thinking about before Darius' bitter mouth ruined it.
"I just want chocolate," I blurted out and Jackson laughed again, making me pout.
It wasn't meant to be funny, I was serious. All I could think about was sugar. Just the thought was making my stomach clench in need.
He put his hand on top of his head to push his beanie down, reminding me of how he used to push his longer hair down in his face.
Shit. Just keep thinking about chocolate.
Wow, did I really just say that?
Yes. Because thinking about chocolate is better than thinking about how cute the smiling boy next to me looks.
"I think that can be arranged too," he winked, keeping a half smile on his face as he turned and got out of the truck.
Did he really just wink at me?
How am I supposed to think about chocolate when he's acting like this?
It's impossible to ignore the elephant in the room, and Jackson is definitely a fucking elephant.
"You're gonna hate me so much tomorrow," I mumbled under my breath, talking to future sober Brylee, while I watched him walk around the front of the truck.
I was alone with Jackson freaking Gonzalez.
And not because we just so happened to be at the house at the same time.
I was with him by choice, and I wasn't hating it.
Not only was he acting normal around me, he helped me. He was willing to go back and do God knows what to Darius, for me.
"Why did you help me?" I asked curiously when he opened my door.
Jackson rested his hand on top of the door, leaning against it and furrowing brows. "What do you mean?"
"You said you were done being nice," I frowned at him. "But you helped me."
"That wasn't being nice," he rolled his eyes. "That was being a decent human being."
Is that not the same thing?
I narrowed my eyes at him before barking out a laugh. "But you're not even human."
"Oh?" He lifted a brow with an amused smile, straightening his back to cross his arms. "What am I then?"
A fucking elephant.
I giggled at his reaction I was picturing in my head if I actually said that out loud. But then I cleared my throat and decided on the description of him I wanted myself to believe.
"You're..." I threw a hand in his direction with a look on my face that said, isn't it obvious? "You're the devil."
He pursed his lips, rolling his tongue across his cheek as he watched me for a moment. Then he snorted lightly, leaning over me to unbuckle my seatbelt.
"Well, the devil is hungry," he said lowly, keeping his face level with mine as the belt retracted, making me hold my breath.
I couldn't tell if my face was hot from the alcohol in my system, his tone, or his close proximity. Maybe a mix of all three.
Fuck, I should've gone with elephant.
Elephants can't be sexy.
He's an elephant.
"You comin'?" He asked nonchalantly after he pulled back, and I had to blink a few times before it registered.
"Wha — no," I said, flustered as I leaned back in the seat, crossing my arms.
"Why?" He asked, crossing his own arms mockingly.
"You kidnapped me," I said with a small frown.
Okay, I'm grasping at straws at this point.
"What?" He let out a small laugh, dropping his arms. "You said you wanted to leave."
"I wanted to go to Kallie's, but you brought me here, even though I said I didn't want to," I tried to scowl, but the amused smile on his face was making it difficult. "You kidnapped me."
He raised his eyebrows, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his keys, looking down at them then back to me.
"Just say the word and I'll take you back," he offered with a careless shrug, smirking when my eyes widened.
"Or," he dragged out menacingly, making my heartbeat accelerate. "I'll take you to Kallie's — if you eat with me first."
My lips parted as I furrowed my brows, while he watched me expectantly, almost like he already knew my answer.
And this was why I should've kept thinking about chocolate. Or better yet, stayed home.
A nice moment could never stay a nice moment with him. Like he purposely puts me in a good mood, just so he can have the satisfaction of snapping me out of it.
He was just a sexy elephant a second ago. Why did he have to pull out the stupid devil?
Wait, not sexy. Just elephant.
He's so confusing, I can't even think straight.
His unregulated moods made me feel like my brain had gone through a wood chipper.
I was picking up random pieces, hoping I'd put them in the right place, and they'd make sense. But nothing made sense around him.
Up and down were swapped.
Right and wrong felt like the same direction.
Happiness, frustration, confusion, and anxiety were all mushed into one unknown emotion.
Not knowing how to process everything rushing through me, I settled on the easiest emotion to handle. Frustration.
"Fine," I huffed, climbing out of the truck reluctantly. I swayed when I stood, swatting away his outstretched hand when I caught myself. "Don't touch me."
"Quit actin' like that, or people are gonna think I actually kidnapped you," he hissed, nodding his head to the side.
I turned to see a man standing by the door, watching us as he put a cigarette to his lips.
"Oops," I grimaced, giving the man a thumbs up.
Jackson sighed and grabbed my hand, placing it back at my side. He squeezed it before letting go, like he was silently telling me to behave.
Didn't I just say don't touch me?
Didn't you just take me from a guy that did something I didn't want him to?
Contradicting bastard.
But this time my heart was beating faster because I didn't hate how it felt.
I'm going crazy.
"I'm hungry, let's go," he commanded before walking toward the diner, so I huffed again, quickly stumbling to catch up.
As we passed by the smoking man, I tried my best to keep my back straight and not trip over my feet. He made eye contact with me and raised his eyebrows, so I smiled and gave him a small salute.
Jackson sighed again when he noticed, opening the door and pushing me through.
"Sit wherever babes, I'll be with ya soon," a middle aged woman with an obvious at-home perm spoke up, never looking away from the cash register as she tapped the screen.
Jackson grabbed my forearm and pulled me into a booth right next to the jukebox, then sat across from me.
I glared down at the table for a moment, embarrassed that I was still letting him drag me around.
But as soon as my eyes lifted up to his face, I wished they hadn't.
"Is that his jacket?" Jackson clenched his jaw as he looked at the sleeves engulfing my hands, as if just now noticing it.
"No," I squeaked out quickly. "It's Jody's."
"Who's Jody?" He asked, crossing his arms on the table.
Why is he suddenly acting like my dad?
"Jesse's fiancé," I answered immediately, putting my hands in my lap and tangling my fingers together.
Why am I answering him like he's my dad?
"Who's Je —" he stopped himself, scratching his forehead — much like my dad did, actually.
"Can I get y'all something to drink?" The lady from before asked, standing next to us with an overly sweet smile that was covered with bright pink lipstick.
"Coffee for both of us, please," Jackson said, giving her a tight lipped smile.
"Great," she chirped. "Are you ready to order too?"
"Yeah, I'll just have some toast," I decided out loud, noticing everything on the menu looked like it was served with a pound of grease.
"Nah, she'll have a large hash brown bowl with ham, cheese, and onions. I'll have the same, but get me a waffle too," Jackson nodded as he handed her the menus. "And add an over-easy egg on top of both of those hash browns."
My eyes widened as the waitress quickly wrote everything down.
I'm gonna vomit again just thinking about eating any of that.
"Alrighty," the lady nodded when she finished writing, looking between us. "Anything else?"
"Oh!" Jackson lifted a hand, pointing at me with a smirk before looking up at her. "Can I get a little cup of chocolate chips with that waffle?"
"You wanna make it a chocolate chip waffle?" She asked with a hint of confusion in her tone.
"Oh no, I don't want them in the waffle, just on the side," he shook his head, smiling sweetly up at her. "I like to put them on myself."
I bit my lip to hold back a laugh and he glanced at me briefly, smile widening to show the small dimple on his right cheek.
God dammit. Elephant. Frustration.
"I'll get that put in," she clicked her pen on her notepad before walking off.
"Are you high?" I narrowed my eyes at his red, glassy ones enhanced by the fluorescent light.
That would explain a lot — like this whole night, actually.
Jackson lifted a brow and smirked at me, as if to say, is that even a question?
"You drove me here high?" I asked, pulling my head back in disbelief.
"I'm a pro, don't worry," he chuckled, making me scoff as my phone dinged.
Shit, Kallie.
I quickly pulled my phone out of Jody's pocket and tapped the screen.
My Sun: you okay?
My Sun: E doesn't know where you are either he's freaking out
"You didn't tell Elliott you were dragging me from the party?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him over my phone.
He shrugged, playing with the corner of his napkin. "Figured he'd put two and two together when he realized we're both gone."
"You're a dick," I groaned as I texted Kallie back.
Me: I'm ok. Getting food with Jackson
"I thought I was the devil?" He taunted.
"Yeah, and the devil is a dick," I snapped as I dropped my phone on the table.
Jackson laughed through his nose before my phone started dinging back to back, and his eyes darted down.
I quickly flipped it over, not even wanting to know what kind of nonsense Kallie was saying, but the humorous glint in Jackson's eyes told me he caught a glimpse.
"What's this about kissing and making up?" He lifted a brow, making me glare at him.
"Don't read my texts," I snapped before dropping my glare to my phone.
Fuck you, Kallie.
"She's drunk," I mumbled, knowing she wasn't.
She gave herself a three beer limit, because she was supposed to be driving us back to her house soon.
"Two coffees," our waitress piped up as she sat our mugs on the table, along with a bunch of creamer and sugar. "Your food should be out soon."
"Thank you," I said quietly when Jackson didn't, like the dick he was.
I wrinkled my nose as I watched him dump four creamers and sugar packets into his mug, filling it to the rim.
Might as well just throw the creamer back like a shot, damn.
To keep from spilling it, he kept the mug on the table and leaned down to take a sip, wincing slightly at the temperature.
I rolled my eyes and looked behind him, seeing the cook scoop a generous helping of hash browns off the flat top griddle, into a bowl.
"You know, I think Kallie is ready to go home — I'll just get her to come pick me up," I rambled as I watched him fill a second bowl.
Jackson clicked his tongue disapprovingly, reaching over to take my phone from my grasp after I picked it up.
"Hey! Give it back!" I protested, going to take it back as he held it up, just out of my reach.
"You just said she's drunk, and you want her to drive you?" He pursed his lips and shook his head while he shoved it in his hoodie pocket. "That's not very smart, niña tonta."
"You're high," I reminded him, crossing my arms. "I trust her more than you."
"We had a deal," he pouted dramatically, putting a hand to his chest.
"A deal?" I scoffed, trying to ignore how cute he looked doing that. "You didn't give me an option!"
"I gave you two options, actually," he said matter of factly, sticking his nose up.
I opened my mouth to retaliate, but snapped it shut when I saw our waitress coming toward us, expertly balancing a tray on her arm.
"Two hash brown bowls, one waffle, and...chocolate chips," she named everything off as she sat them on the table.
"Thank you," I squeaked out, pressing my lips together as I looked at the steaming bowl in front of me.
When she walked away, Jackson instantly grabbed the ketchup and hot sauce bottles, dumping a generous amount of both in his bowl.
"I think I need to go to the bathroom," I mumbled, watching in disgust as he mixed his hash browns until they were a pukey orange color.
"Do you?" He lifted his brows before taking a bite.
My eyebrows twitched together briefly as I watched him in disbelief, but remained seated.
I hated how vulnerable I felt in front of him. How seen I felt.
He knew I was trying to kill time while he ate, and I hated him for it.
The corner of his mouth twitched up when I didn't move, and he slid the small plastic cup of chocolate chips toward me.
I frowned down at it and glanced back up at him.
"You said you wanted chocolate, right?" He asked innocently, taking another bite of his puke in a bowl.
My emotions were like that freaking fair ride that rapidly throws you around; I was thrown in a different direction every few seconds.
Happy.
Embarrassed.
Angry.
Happy.
Confused.
Anxious.
Angry.
Happy.
There was a lot of happy, but that only brought on more confused and angry.
I nodded once, picking up a chocolate chip and tossing it in my mouth, pursing my lips to hide a satisfied smile.
Happy.
When he kept his intense gaze on me, I bit the inside of my cheek and picked up my fork, hoping if I took a bite of my own food he would stop.
Confused.
My stomach churned as I looked down at the slimy, glistening egg on top of the hash browns in front of me.
Anxious.
Deciding the hash browns furthest from the fried egg were my safest option, I scraped my fork along the edge of the bowl to pick up some of the drier potatoes.
I sighed through my nose to calm myself as I chewed, until I was forced to swallow.
It was like my body's instant reaction was to force it back up, so I quickly picked up my black coffee and gulped the feeling down. Then I tried to subtly breathe through my mouth to cool my burning tongue.
"Why do you do it?" Jackson asked suddenly, and my heart dropped to my stomach.
"Why do I do what?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant as I scooped more potatoes on my fork.
There was no running away this time. I was stuck.
"Not eat," Jackson said matter of factly before shoving a big piece of waffle in his mouth.
Embarrassed.
It was like he shouted it into a vacant house — his words echoing, bouncing against the walls of my head.
Hearing it from someone else felt...unfamiliar. Wrong.
In my mind, it was a good thing; something to be proud of.
But right now, it felt like he was asking me why I didn't know how to tie my shoes.
It's simple, everyone does it.
Chew, swallow, repeat.
It's not hard, why can't you do it?
Are you broken?
"I do," I lifted my fork as proof. "I wouldn't be alive if I didn't."
He watched me with a thoughtful look on his face as I forced the fork to my mouth.
"Eating is for more than just surviving," he said after a moment. "You can enjoy it too."
To prove his words, he took another bite of his waffle, letting out a drawn out, satisfied moan.
The dramatic face he made to match the sound made me feel like I was trying to swallow a brick.
Embarrassed.
Happy.
Confused.
Anxious.
Angry.
I quickly picked my mug back up, taking another scorching gulp, hoping the pain and bitter taste would distract me.
"I do enjoy it," I said in a strained voice as I sat down the mug. Then I picked up a few chocolate chips and tossed them in my mouth to prove my point.
In small doses. I enjoy it in very small doses.
"Right," he nodded before taking a sip of his coffee.
"No offense — no, full offense, but you're not the person I would choose to talk to, if I had a problem," I frowned before tossing more chocolate chips in my mouth. "Why are you trying to butt into my life now anyway? You don't even..."
You don't even care.
That felt wrong to say after he dragged me away from Darius tonight.
But was he just being a decent human being like he said, or did he step in because it was me?
Was he just being a decent human being when he wanted to go back after taking me to his truck?
"You don't even know me — I don't even know you," I finally said, forcefully jabbing my fork in my hash browns.
"You sure about that?" He asked, lifting a brow as he cut into his waffle.
Is he serious?
"Is the weed killing your brain cells? There's a lot you don't know about me, Lee," I lowered my voice to mimic him, wobbling my head mockingly.
Jackson snorted as he dropped his fork on the plate, running his hand down the bottom half of his face,
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