Chapter 9. Family Time

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It's Sunday, Mathew's birthday. As per their agreement he and Ryan both went to his house. He also told bits and pieces of information about his family members.

As they were parking in the garage Ryan couldn't help but ask "Did you forget to tell me that you were rich?" Seeing the mansion of a house in front of him.

"Oh yeah. I guess" he shrugged.

"Is there anything else that I should know?"

"Nothing much. Just be careful with my brother."

Ryan schooled his features and walked with his teacher thinking all the scenarios that could go wrong. He saw an enormous chandelier on stepping into the house. He couldn't help but calculate the angles, on what amount of force would it be seperated from the hanger and fall down. Mathew saw all the gears running in his mind and chuckled.

"I have all the theories with me. You can have it if you want."

Ryan's face lit up to that. "Really? Thank you very much Sir."

They entered the dining hall since they were late to the meeting because of the 'traffic' and everyone were waiting for their arrival to start the lunch. Mathew's dad was the first one to talk "Hello son, it seems you only come to home on occasions now."

"I'm pretty busy dad with my studies and work." he recognized Ava sitting beside the chair where he was supposed to sit usually at the dining table. He purposefully avoided that seat and sat at the other side of the table which happened to be opposite of his brother. Ryan took that as a queue to sit on the empty seat beside him. His mother saw this and her face was twisted into something unpleasant.

"What were you doing, again?" his father waved to a servant as the awaited guest has come.

Ryan didn't see any anger or irritation in Mathew as he answered "Nothing you'd approve of."

"Why don't you take over our business then?" his mother took that as the opportunity to get involved in the conversation "which he approves of."

"I'm doing what I'm interested in mother. I don't need anyone's approval."

"Mathew Jeremiah Collins" she started but fortunately his brother came into his rescue.

"Let him do what he wants for now mom. He can't stay much longer without all the luxuries in his life. I don't think he can afford all that with the amount he IS earning and WILL be earning. So, he'll come around." Max said. To which Mathew didn't say anything and concentrated on his food. This seemed to irritate him so he went in further.

"Who is your friend Matt? You didn't introduce him. Is that what you learned? To ignore guests?"

"Oh yeah sorry. His name is Ryan. My boyfriend."

Everyone is silent for a moment, even the servants who were serving. Max was the first one to get out of his shocked state just to say "Are you a fag now?"

"Max" his mother bellowed. F words are not allowed in their house unless if it's fame and words related to that.

"Sorry." a murmur came from him.

"I guess you could say that." Mathew shrugged.

"What kind of game are you playing now?" his father finally voiced out his thoughts.

The teacher stiffened a little bit in his seat which didn't go unnoticed by his student and said "I'm not playing any games father. I love him and wanted to introduce him to my family."

"So what you are saying is you love him and you will marry him?"

"We are not at the marriage stage yet." he said avoiding his father's eyes. Why did not he think about this before?

His father chuckled without any humor in his tone which sent chills down his body. "You couldn't even look me in the eyes. Do you know why Mathew?" he paused and continued "Because you know it's wrong. Because it's unacceptable to love someone of same gender and marry them. And what about your girlfriend? Did you forget her already? Is this boy going to be your rebound? Are you going to dump him after you get over her? Is that what you planned? I know my son enough to know there's something hidden behind his actions."

During this whole monologue Mathew started to tremble. Ryan didn't know if he is going to break down or burst out as he could only see the side of his face. All he could do was to slip his hand into his teacher's lap and grip him tight, whatever the body part he could reach, which happened to be his knee.

His touch seemed to give him the strength he need as he looked straight into his father's eyes and said "No" he said sternly. "You know why I couldn't look you in the eyes? Because of the judgment you're gonna pass and look at me like I'm a piece of shit. You know what's wrong? Judging people and condemning them because of their priorities." Ryan squeezed his knee as a support since he knew it was important to talk to his father about the stuff he didn't dare to before.

"My girlfriend? You would've known it was a mutual agreement and not me being dumped if you had paid a little attention to me." at this point he was seething with all the pent up emotions "You always saw the things that are hidden behind my actions. You never saw the real intentions and why I did that. You know why? Because you don't want to acknowledge your son's feelings and interests. You always saw what you wanted to see and felt proud that your son is smart. You never saw why I've done the things I did. It's always about what. What's he going to do now? What is he targeting and shit"

He is the one who reached to hold Ryan's hand for strength now. Ryan understood that, gave a small smile and a nod to carry on.

"Have you ever noticed that you turned the only person that loves me against me? I never begged you to love me and give attention to me. Yet, you turned my own brother against me."

"You!" he turned to his older brother "you think this is what I wanted? Don't you know me? What happened to all the promises you made me, huh? What happened to 'forget about our parents. We have each other and we will have each other's back forever.' huh?" by now his eyes were filled with unshed tears which resembled his own brother's "You were blinded so much by jealousy that you forgot everything about me. Every little thing. Do you even remember what today is? Did you forget that I wouldn't even open my eyes until you wished me? Did you forget how much I'll be excited and waiting for your present?" he placed his empty hand on the dining table, gripped it tight and let out a watery chuckle "You are suddenly a homophobe now? Where did all this hate go when you first knew about me? Look at me in the eyes and say you didn't know about it brother." he looked straight into his brother's eyes which were averted with shame.

Tears rolling down his cheek he continued "Do you remember how I used to introduce you to my friends? Do you know how I introduced you to Ryan now?"

"No" his brother mumbled as a tear escaped his left eye.

But Mathew continued as if he didn't hear him "Just be careful with my brother." he laughed loudly wiping the that tears rolled down and repeated "Be careful with my brother."

"What are you so jealous of by the way? Me being suffocated by them so much that I couldn't even breathe? Or the fact that I can't do what I wanted and being forced to do something else?" by now he didn't care that his voice is shaky and tears are falling uncontrollably.

"I don't understand. It must be a good thing if you are jealous and want to be in my place right?" He took a shaky breath and asked "Then why am I not happy? Why do I feel like I couldn't even breathe? Help me understand Maxi." he was practically begging his brother to make him understand with his eyes full of tears. "Why do I want to go back to how things were?"

"Matt" his brother tried to say something, anything but he couldn't as the guilt was too much.

Mathew stood up and said his final words with determination before walking off with Ryan to his room.

"I'm done." he looked at his father and said "I'm done playing your games and hurting myself as an achievement." turned to his brother "I'm done trying to get your attention and love back" turned to his mother and smiled wiping his tears "I was done with you when you gave birth to me. It's like I never existed to you."

On reaching his room with a dead grip on Ryan's hand, he shoved him inside and closed his door with a loud thud. Which was heard by everyone in the dining room. 

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