i ain't never loved no one - donovan woods ft. tenille townes

"You're gonna be, okay?" Connor had his hands on either side of my face, gently grasping my jaw. His beautiful blue eyes were clouded with worry, and his eyebrows were drawn downwards.

"I'm gonna be okay." I nodded.

"I can totally reschedule and stay here with you."

"Connor," I groaned. "You can't just cancel the day of."

Connor was supposed to be going to Troyvens Creek today, to meet with some of the football coaches and athletic trainers. They wanted him to run through some drills to make sure that his injury had healed correctly and that he was still at the same competitive level as before the accident.

Connor had been nervous all week, unable to contain anxiety coursing through his body. I couldn't blame him though if the coaches at Troyvens changed their mind, Connor would be – understandably – heartbroken. Butterflies were starting to fly around in my stomach at the mere thought of Troyvens Creek retracting their scholarship offer.

"Baby..." Connor whined.

I shook my head and pushed Connor's chest as he tried to grab me. "Get out of here before you're late."

"Fine." Reluctantly he huffed and picked up the duffle bag that sat at his feet. As he pushed the bag up his shoulder, Connor leaned over and pressed a kiss to my enlarged stomach. "Be good for your mommy."

Insert heart eye emoji.

Every time Connor pressed gentle kisses or rubbed tender circles on my stomach or whispered sweet words to the baby growing in me, my heart seemed to grow a trillion sizes.

It didn't escape me that this baby had 0% of Connor's DNA, yet he treated it as if it was his own. Sometimes I laid awake at night and just thought about how lucky I was to have this man in my life.

"Let me know how today goes." Connor pecked my lips after he spoke. "I love you."

"I will." I promised. "And I love you immensely, but please go."

As Connor climbed down the stairs of the front porch, I smacked his ass and called out. "Bye loser!" Connor stuck his hand up in a wave as a response, shaking his head.

"Well, aren't you just peachy this morning?" My mom laughed from behind me.

"I guess I've just got a lot to be happy about today." I grinned.

My mom and Layla had gone behind my back and planned a surprise baby shower for today. I had been pretty insistent on not having a baby shower – it just didn't feel right – but I was extremely thankful that they hadn't listened and planned one anyways.

Not to mention tomorrow is Connor's birthday, and I'm excited to celebrate one of my favorite human beings. He deserves to have an entire day dedicated to him, and I'm hoping on showering him in all of his favorite things as he did for me.

Following my mom inside the house, I smiled at the beautiful decorations that adorned the first floor.

Since the baby's sex was still unknown, my mom and Layla had gone with a color palette of muted pinks and purples mixed with beiges and some sage green. The colors flowed together perfectly and produced such a peaceful mood throughout the house.

I loved it.

But I also loved everyone that showed up to my impromptu party.

Layla's mom, Connor's grandma, and sisters, and a few girls from school that I still kept in touch with were a few of the people here.

Being surrounded by all of these wonderful people kept a smile plastered to my face all day long.

They had taken the time out of their day to show their support for me and my baby, and it truly warmed my heart. Their cute onesies and other clothes, diapers, and toys were just added bonuses. I would have been happy just to relish in their company for a few hours.

After we had all eaten one of my mom's homecooked meals, and the party was beginning to dwindle down, my dad entered the living room. He wore an earsplitting grin on his face as he walked across the room to where I sat on the couch.

"I think this is for you." In his outstretched hands was a large navy envelope addressed to me.

Holy shit. It was from Troyvens Creek.

I had been waiting on this very envelope for what felt like years.

Troyvens Creek was one of the few schools that still sent out decisions via the mail rather than an online portal. It was kind of dumb, in my opinion – because God forbid my mail carrier lost my envelope – but I guess it held more meaning this way. 

Oh my God.

My heart was racing, and I was almost afraid that it would beat out of my chest and just flop onto the floor.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?" Layla egged me on from beside me.

I shook my head.

I needed a minute to gather myself and get my emotions under control.

This envelope was either going to make me sob from sadness or excitement, and I was really hoping it would be the latter. Just imagining telling Connor that I got rejected from Troyvens Creek made my heart sink. He had told me multiple times that I didn't have to go there even though he was most likely committing there, but the truth was, Connor, didn't have a lot to deal with my decision.

Troyvens Creek University has always been my dream school. I've grown up staying at the house my parents owned off-campus, cheering on the university's football team nearly every weekend in the Fall. I've always admired the breathtaking estuary that the school overlooked and even the uneven bricks that I tripped over as a kid.

So, although I had applied to other colleges and universities, I was holding out for Troyvens Creek.

Letting out a long breath, I took hold of the navy envelope with my shaky hands. Carefully ripping open the seal, I scanned the white piece of paper inside.

Congratulations! I am delighted to welcome you to Troyvens Creek University...

Holy shit... I got in!

"I got in!" I cheered.

Claps erupted from the room, and Layla shrieked from beside me, the both of us jumping up and down.

"I got mine this morning!" Layla gushed: a bright smile plastered on her face. I let out another shriek and wrapped my arms around Layla's shoulders.

I could only picture how insane the two of us looked as we jumped in a circle, laughs of excitement and pure joy bubbling out of our throats. But if getting into our dream college doesn't call for celebratory squeals and jumps, then I don't know what does.

I've never wanted something so bad, and to actually get it, felt amazing. It was like a million pounds had just been lifted off my shoulders.

But as the adrenaline wore off and my heart rate began to calm down, that's when I noticed the sharp shooting pain in my lower back. I've had back pain throughout my pregnancy, but this pain did not feel like anything I had experienced before.

"Hope, are you alright?" Layla's mom placed a hand on my shoulder as she peered at me in concern.

"I..." Another pain shot through me, this time in my stomach. "I don't know."

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what's happening?!?! *insert evil laugh*

p.s. pls drop song suggestions fr fr need help

love you always,,,, xoxoswaldo

p.s.s taking my last final today! wish me luck