goodbyes- jorja smith

The sunlight poured in through the window behind my bed and the birds were singing loudly. It was the worst possible way for me to wake up.

I had spent hours last night trying to fall asleep, but all I could think about were Raeanna's words. 'You've been replaced.' They rang in my head until the moment my eyelids finally closed and I drifted to sleep.

When Connor moved, Raeanna wasn't just a sister to me anymore. I had just lost my best friend and she had also had to say goodbye to her best friend. She turned into my shoulder to cry on and our relationship really blossomed during that traumatic time. It was so mindblowing to me that she was able to keep this secret from me for so long.

I couldn't believe it; it was unfathomable.

That shock and hurt didn't dissipate as I slept.

From the moment I woke up, I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I didn't know how seeing her this morning would go, but as my stomach growled louder and louder, I knew I had to face the music.

When I got downstairs, my mom was whirling around the kitchen cooking breakfast and my dad was sipping on his coffee.

"Hey baby," my dad smiled at me but as he took in my appearance his smile dropped, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing dad, I'm fine."

"Hope Christine, you don't look fine." My eyes were bloodshot and tired, my skin was blotchy, and my hair was thrown into a messy bun. It was obvious that something was wrong.

"Dad, please..."

His eyes were clouded with worry and I knew he had questions but I didn't care. I felt like absolute horseshit.

"Good morning everyone!" My head immediately perked up at the overly chirpy voice.

Raeanna sauntered into the kitchen perfectly put together, not a single hair out of place. A smile was plastered on her face and she was bouncing around the kitchen. It was utterly disgusting.

She helped my mom carry breakfast over to the table as my brothers filed in. They both took in my unusually grumpy mood but decided against saying anything. Good idea.

My mom had cooked my favorite breakfast - french toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon - but as soon as Raeanna had sat next to me, my growling stomached ceased and my appetite disappeared. My brothers, however, devoured their portions and were hungrily eyeing my barely touched plate.

"Hope," my mother called soothingly, "What's wrong?"

"Oh yeah, I heard you crying last night," Raeanna tagged.

I could not believe her. How could she switch up on me like that? How could she act as last night happened?

"Shut up Raeanna."

"Excuse me?" She asked. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes were growing wide.

"Oh c'mon." I scoffed. "There's no point in acting stupid."

"I have no clue what you're talking about."

The whole table was silent just like last night. Besides my parents, there was rarely any arguing in the house and it definitely was not at the kitchen table.

"What is going on here?" My dad questioned. He was not happy that we were ruining Saturday breakfast.

Raeanna and I stared at each other, both of us wondering who was going to break first. If I ratted her out, I highly doubted my parents would believe me. In their eyes, Raeanna could do no harm.

"Raeanna has been talking to Katie since the Hardings moved." The words were out of my mouth before I could really think about it.

My dad's eyes filled with rage, "What?"

"Raeanna and Katie have stayed friends this entire time."

"Daddy, why would I do that?" Raeanna's voice was soft and proper as she piled on her southern charm. She batted her eyelashes that were coated in mascara and symmetrically curled.

Her fake attitude was making me nauseous. How could she act like this?

Across the table, my mom was sitting with her hands clasped together and gazing in my direction, as my dad rubbed at his forehead. My brothers sat quietly in awe of the drama erupting out of the blue.

"Pass the french toast." My dad grabbed his orange juice and took a sip as he waited for Tobias to pass him the french toast.

Raeanna grinned as my heart dropped, "What?"

"What am I supposed to do Hope?"

"You told all of us that the Hardings were a terrible family and that we shouldn't even think about them, yet Raeanna can talk to them? She lied to you! She lied to all of us!" Rage was coursing through my body at an unreasonable amount and I could feel my face turning red.

"Hope Christine Stryker, you are out of line! I am not talking about this with you. You do not get to have your way with everything. Besides, I'm sure Raeanna won't talk to the Hardings anymore, will you baby?"

"Of course not." She was grinning ear to ear.

I didn't get what I wanted - aka the truth - but Raeanna could get what she wanted? Bullshit. I stood up from the table and stormed out of the kitchen and onto the front porch. The way this family worked was such bullshit.

My heart was pounding against my chest as I let out ragged breaths. I was so angry.

For so long, Raeanna and I had been best friends. I told her everything. Even though Raeanna had been in college, she would answer whenever I called. I would talk for hours on end about how much I missed Connor. How angry I was that he left without saying goodbye. How much it hurt that he didn't return any of my calls or texts.

Every time I called, she would tell me that she felt the same way. Raeanna and Katie had been just as close as Connor and me and the entire time I believed that Raeanna was going through the same motions of missing her best friend. Yet, it was all a lie.

The white-hot anger that had taken over my body and blinded me soon left, and all I felt was betrayal.
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hey y'all! i know that this chapter is a little shorter than normal but i thought this was a good spot to end it. don't forget to vote, comment, and share!!